Commitment (18 page)

Alex stretched out on the bed and closed her eyes. It had been an extremely long twenty-four hours. She could hear Cassidy faintly outside the door talking with her mother about something. She laughed. “How does she do it?” she asked herself.

“How does who do what?” Cassidy asked as she opened the door.

Alex laughed harder. “That. I could hear your voice outside the door, but I couldn’t make out any of the words, well except boys and baby. How do you do that? Hear things so clearly?

Cassidy shrugged. “I don’t know. Never gave it much thought. Just always could.”

Alex watched as Cassidy undressed and moved to replace her sweater with an oversized T-shirt. “You were great today,” Alex said.

Cassidy kissed Alex’s cheek and snuggled against her. “I didn’t do anything, Alex,” she yawned.

“Yeah, you did. You wrangled everyone out of Barb’s hair for one thing.”

“She was tired. It was time,” Cassidy said softly.

“Jacob…I would never have imagined they would pick that name,” Alex laughed.

“I like it,” Cassidy offered.

“You do?”

“I considered that name for Dylan.”

“Huh. He’s so tiny,” Alex said with a sense of wonderment.

Cassidy closed her eyes and smiled against Alex’s chest. “They usually are,” she joked. When Alex made no response, Cassidy lifted her head in concern. Alex had her eyes closed, but Cassidy could see the myriad of emotions play across her face. “Alex? What is it?”

“I missed Cat being born,” Alex said.

“I know,” Cassidy replied. Alex opened her eyes and caressed Cassidy’s cheek. “What?” Cassidy asked.

Alex seemed at a loss for a moment. She took in a deep breath and kissed her wife. “Just watching you today. First with Barb, then with the boys….then…Well, holding that baby. I just…”

“I know,” Cassidy whispered. She understood completely what Alex was feeling. She suspected it was quite similar to the emotions that seemed to course through her all day. They had culminated in the afternoon when she and Barb were finally able to coax Alex into holding little Jacob. Cassidy watched as Alex tenderly held the baby, studying everything about him. She had felt a powerful surge of emotion when Dylan climbed onto the chair and took up residence in Alex’s lap to visit his new cousin. She closed her eyes for a second and opened them at the feel of Alex’s hands brushing her hair back.

Alex started to speak softly. “Cass…I…”

Cassidy stopped Alex with a gentle kiss and pulled back slowly. “Show me,” she said as her heart began to race. There were moments that Cassidy had accepted could not be put into words. She often wasn’t certain that anything could convey the depth of love she felt for Alex. In those moments she craved Alex’s touch. Her need to be closer, to be a part of the woman she loved, could overwhelm her. The day that they had shared would have left most people drained and exhausted. For both Alex and Cassidy, it was an event that reminded them of all they had come to cherish and all that they hoped to have in their future.

“
Tu es tellement belle
(You are so beautiful),” Alex breathed in Cassidy’s ear. Cassidy simply closed her eyes and reveled in the gentle explorations of her lover. Alex held her close and trailed soft kisses along her neck, gradually increasing in ferocity as they moved over Cassidy’s chest. Alex’s hand drifted sensually lower, kneading and caressing until she finally reached her destination.

Cassidy moaned and directed Alex’s face back to hers. “Please, Alex…” Cassidy struggled to breathe.

Alex fought to control her emotions as she felt Cassidy submit to her fully and willingly. Making love with Cassidy always astounded Alex. The world fell away when Cassidy’s arms surrounded her. No one else existed in these moments, and at times, Alex selfishly wished she could disappear into this world and never return. She felt Cassidy begin to fall over the edge and pulled her closer, whispering promises of forever repeatedly. She was startled when she heard the first tears escape her wife. “Cass?” Cassidy’s sob mixed with a giggle. “Did I do…”

“You are perfect,” Cassidy laughed and cried at the same time.

“Why are you crying?”

“I don’t know,” Cassidy confessed as her tears began to subside, replaced by genuine laughter.

“What’s so funny?” Alex asked.

Cassidy propped herself up and kissed Alex’s lips. “I’m just happy, Alex.”

Alex smiled and wiped away the last traces of Cassidy’s tears. “Someday it will be us, Cass.”

Cassidy sighed and placed her head on Alex’s chest. “I know.”

Tuesday, December 16
^th

Jonathan Krause followed the tall man down a winding hallway. His thoughts drifted to the life he had long accepted;
a life that centered on duty. His duty had always been to follow orders. It had never felt like a choice to him. It was simply the destiny he had been handed. He watched as the man leading him turned to the left and felt the blood pound forcefully through his veins. That life had been a lie. Krause was no stranger to lies. He was no innocent when it came to manufacturing secrets. He had, more than once, constructed an elaborate web of lies in order to conceal the agency’s efforts. He didn’t ask questions. That was not protocol. Now, he approached the room that he suspected held answers; answers he was unsure he wanted at all.

The door opened, and Krause nodded to the man holding it. “If you need anything else,” the man began.

“No, thank you,” Krause replied.

“There is an intercom on the wall. Just call when you are finished,” the man said as he closed the door gently.

Krause retrieved a paper from his pocket and scanned it quickly with his eyes. He made his way to the drawer marked 1975. Taking a deep breath, he punched in the code on a small number pad and waited for the tell-tale click. He retrieved a small box from inside and laid it on the table at the center of the room. More slowly that he imagined possible, he lifted the cover. Two things immediately grabbed his attention, an envelope in handwriting that was as familiar as his own and a picture. He rubbed the back of his neck and closed his eyes, steadying himself before retrieving both. Krause could feel the perspiration gathering on his brow as he opened the envelope.

Alex
,

If you are reading this, then I must assume that I am gone, and your father has led you here. I am certain that you have many questions. You always have questions. Some I can answer, others I am afraid it is best I leave for you to discern yourself. I suppose it is no secret to you now why I sent you to Cassidy. I couldn’t risk their safety, Alex. Not my son’s, and not his mother. I never expected you to fall in love with her. Perhaps, I should have
.

There are many things you need to know. I know you, how honorable you are. I know Cassidy enough to realize that she is as honest as a person can be and still survive in this world. You will both be reluctant to do what I am suggesting and allow Jonathan to act as Dylan’s father. It is not a disservice to me, nor do I believe will it be to my son. Jonathan has always been my best friend. I am certain you will doubt his motives after so many years following the fragments his missions left behind. He, like me, followed the orders he was given. He is a good man. I can promise you that. He may not believe that himself, but he is. He has always loved Cassidy. From the moment he saw her at Stanford; he loved her. He understands the risks that Dylan faces, both from who Dylan truly is and from the father he has always known; most of which I believe you will find in the latter. I cannot shield them anymore, Alex. I cannot protect them. You and Jonathan can
.

Every few months, I am required to donate my blood; in case of some medical emergency. I’m sure you are aware of that contingency plan. Things now are strained at best within the circles that I travel. My efforts have been significantly compromised over the last few months, and I am still unsure where the damage originates. My time I fear is limited. I’ve asked your father to use Carecom’s connections and to secure some of the blood I have donated safely, for your use. You, of course, will need to switch it with Jonathan’s. That, I believe, should assist you in mitigating the O’Brien problem. Edmond will assist you when you are ready. Everything he will need is on the drive enclosed. Your father has promised me that the sample you need will be safe in an obscure Carecom facility. I have also included a map of sorts. It’s taken me nearly six years to develop. It lists players, mostly through the money trail I have been able to uncover. It is widespread, Alex; an infection. They call themselves The Collaborative, but Alex, they have become more disjointed than ever. There are hidden agendas, rogue operations, and splinter factions. It’s not about safeguarding anything; it’s about money. You need to be cautious. These people fear very little and control more than you might dare to imagine. Jonathan has a reputation, not only for his brilliance, but for his unique abilities and relationships. They will be hesitant to act
against his personal interests. They regard me as soft. They regard him as ruthless. He can help you, and I believe he will
.

Whatever you think right now, Alex, I have always loved you. There is nothing that I can do to change the past or my role in it. The more you uncover, the more of that you will understand. I cannot forgive myself for walking this path blindly as long as I did. I can only look to the future; the future of my children, all of them. There’s a great deal you will learn, of that I am sure. While I am tempted to divulge much of what I know; I am not certain it is my place. I’ve enclosed a photograph for you. Your father gave it to me some time ago. Your father, my father, and Edmond Callier. They are the only men whose help I dare seek now. Trust Jonathan. I trust him with my life, with the life of my family. I trust him with your life. You are not the unlikely allies that you may believe. Keep searching, and you will come to understand. Please, Alex, take care of Jane and the girls. They love you as much as I always have. Take care of Dylan and Cassidy. You deserve happiness. You always have. I’m sorry I can’t be there to share it
.

Always in my heart
,

John

Jonathan Krause set down the letter and closed his eyes. A tear washed over his cheek as he lifted the phone in his pocket to his ear. He waited. “Alex?”

“Pip? Is that you?” Alex asked. She waited for the silence to break. “Pip? Are you in Stockholm?”

“Yeah.”

Alex had never heard such evident emotion in Jonathan Krause’s voice. Her voice softened. “Jon? What is it?”

“I’m fine, Alex,” he responded. Alex could hear her partner struggling to regain his composure. “Are you in London?” he asked.

“Yeah. Just landed about twenty minutes ago. Listen….”

“Alex, just be careful. Daniels…I don’t trust him.”

“What about you?” Alex asked.

“I’m headed back tomorrow.”

“Stateside?” she asked.

“Yeah. I have some seeds I want to plant,” he said. “Have to plant them before we can water them.”

“Fallon?” she asked for clarification.

“He is the soil, yes.”

“All right. Pip, do me a favor?” Alex asked.

“Yeah?”

“Check in on Cass and Dylan.”

“Why? You worried?” Krause asked

“You are worried about Daniels. I don’t trust O’Brien.”

“That makes two of us. I’ll take care of it,” he promised.

“Thanks. Gotta go.”

“Understood,” he said. Krause let out a heavy sigh as he placed the contents of the box and his cell phone back in his pocket. “You knew,” he whispered aloud. “John, you knew Alex was my sister. Why the hell didn’t you tell me?” He shook his head in confusion and disbelief and pressed the intercom. “All set.” He retrieved the small picture from his pocket as he waited. “Jesus Christ, John. Who was going to tell us? How the hell am I supposed to tell her?”