Commissioned In White (Art of Love Series) (6 page)

So did that make him selfish?
Shane didn’t think so, but he’d never really thought about it that way before. Joe sometimes made snarky comments about his good luck. So did Michael. Up to now, he’d considered them teasing. Maybe they weren’t.

Certainly, he willed things into manifesting. He felt that when a person put all their energy and effort into something, it eventually happened. Like finding Reesa. And then finding a way to marry her.

When Luke had mentioned marrying her as a legal option for income, instinct had told him the judge might bring it up too. But wanting it badly had been the reason he had extracted a promise from Luke to intervene in court and let the judge know he and Reesa were seriously involved. That had been about following his instincts too.

Oh, he admitted he had rushed Reesa then. He also knew she wasn’t really in a good mental place yet about being his wife, but marrying her really had been the most expedient way to help her. He loved her. She loved him. That much he believed. What could be so wrong with what had happened?

Nothing, Shane decided. They were happy. They were getting along. The single fight they had was completely forgotten when she sought him out for comfort before the custody hearing.

But Jessica’s words made him wonder if he had been too busy doing things to pay attention to what was going on. Plus it was obvious that his family was keeping secrets from him, even if they were just about minor things like the wedding. Secrets bothered him, especially family secrets. They always had. It was one of the reasons he’d gone into psychology. It was damn hard for anyone to keep anything from him now, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t happen.

Suddenly Shane found himself wondering if Reesa was also holding back. Would she tell him if she was unhappy? Would Reesa admit it if she wished she had never married him? The thought that she was unhappy in their marriage was more distressing than Shane could ever have imagined it being. It also, unfortunately, had a ring of truth to it.

Reesa never used the word “wife” about herself, never called him husband. Hell, she never even teased him about rushing her. Was she truly repressing her genuine feelings and he hadn’t even noticed? Even Carrie had been more the blushing bride after her wedding. She and Michael still did some sort of mating dance around belonging to each other all the time.

Reesa hadn’t even changed her routine. She’d just absorbed Shane into the household and folded his laundry like he’d been there all along. That wasn’t the same thing as truly wanting him there though.

Damn it
, Shane thought. He was going to have to ask her. He had to know for sure now and couldn’t live with wondering if she wanted him or not. He didn’t believe there was anyone else for either of them, but he also didn’t want a reluctant bride.

Before he gave up the condo to Brooke, Shane wanted to know the truth of their situation. He’d rather go back to living alone and date her, than live half a marriage with her not wanting to be his wife.

Chapter 4

“Since we’ve got a little time before everyone shows up, tell me again what it was like when you were married to my father,” Brooke ordered, lifting her wine to sip.

Jessica laughed. “I thought bachelorette parties were supposed to have strippers, not philosophers playing twenty questions about the past.”

Brooke laughed, sounding exactly like her mother even to her own ears. “Since when do you need dancing naked men to feel sexy. I’m sure Will has enough trouble keeping up with you as it is.”

“I assure you that Will Larson’s libido is more than a match for mine, especially when he’s in one of his caveman moods,” Jessica said, frowning at her glass.

“And since when is a sexy guy with a raging libido a problem that makes you frown?” Brooke said in disbelief, leaning her chin into her hand.

“No—it’s not a problem. I mean yes. I mean—oh, just hell, Brooke,” Jessica said finally, sipping her own wine to keep from saying anything more. “Will is perfect. Literally. I am so not equipped to be involved with a perfect man.”

“Wasn’t my father a perfect man?” Brooke asked, but not because she suspected it was true. She was just curious to discover the link between the only two men her mother had ever decided to marry.

Jessica’s laughter pealed out loudly in the still mostly empty restaurant and had heads turning to the two striking redheads sitting alone at a table. “No, your father was definitely not perfect, but he did have a lot of enthusiasm, as do most twenty-year-old men. Nathan was my first lover, but that’s not what I remember most about my short time with him.”

She looked away from Brooke’s gaze to give herself time to choose the right words to tell her daughter about the father she would never know any other way.

“What I remember most is that your father—Nathan—was very loving. He was one of those men who pets you tenderly while he says your name like it’s his favorite word in the whole world. Darling, you were the perfect art created between your father and me, created from a passion more wonderful than I can ever describe to you. Of course, it was frozen in time when he died so suddenly. And admittedly, I might not feel that way about today if he’d lived, and we’d been together all these years.”

Brooke reached out and lifted her mother’s hand, linking their fingers. “So tell me why you said yes to Will and not any of those other men over the years,” she demanded, watching the panic flit through her mother’s shifting gaze.

“I would gladly tell you, but I’m still not sure. Will wants to marry me—needs it even. He’s honorable down to the bone, and in his own way, every bit as loving as your father was. They are also the only two men in my life I ever let get by with what I think of as
manhandling
me,” Jessica said softly, thinking the word was inadequate for what it was like conceding to a man’s physical power over you. Still, a nodding Brooke seemed to understand exactly what she was saying.

Jessica looked off across the restaurant, lost for a moment in a debate she had never really settled inside herself. “Sometimes I still don’t want to get married, but then I think of putting a ring on Will’s finger, and it just seems. . .”

“Right?” Brooke prompted, when her mother seemed to be struggling.

“Yes—exactly. It just seems right, like it was meant to be. I know it’s usually the guy who has doubts about getting married, but you know how I am,” Jessica said, apology in her tone.

“I know you’re afraid,” Brooke said easily, watching her mother’s gaze go dark. “Now don’t get mad at me for speaking the truth. I think it’s reasonable. I know I joke about getting married, but honestly, I’ve never given it any real thought because I’ve never been that serious about a man. What you are doing with Will seems very brave to me, maybe even the bravest thing I’ve seen you do in years. Being a wife after years of not being one—well, I can see why you would be concerned about giving up your freedom.”

Jessica snorted. “Freedom? I gave up my freedom the day you taunted him into kissing me. I was okay before that, before I knew what could be between us. Resisting after that kiss was impossible. We couldn’t stay away from each other. The first time we had sex was in his damn truck. It was like being a teenager again.”

Brooke laughed hard. “
In his truck?
Oh My God, Mom—that’s awful—not romantic at all.”

“Actually, it wasn’t as bad as it sounds,” Jessica said. “He was just fooling around at first, but control got away from us both. He still makes me feel that way sometimes. There’s no one else for me, Brooke, so there’s really no choice but to marry the man. Legal or not, Will would still have that kind of power over me, but please never tell him I said that. He gloats enough as it is.”

“I promise,” Brooke said solemnly, smiling. “I won’t even tease you about it.”

Jessica lifted their joined hands for a kiss. “It’s very nice to be friends with my daughter. I’m so glad you decided to move back here.”

Brooke smiled happily. “Well, I am too. Now if only I could start dating again, life would be great. I was so not meant to live a celibate life.”

“Of course not,” Jessica said wisely. “I still think you should consider taking Drake for a spin. I hear he’s out of practice though. Brandon told Carrie he doesn’t date.”

“Wow, that rumor is getting some mileage,” Brooke said on a laugh. “I think Dr. Barrymore would be quite appalled to know his eighteen-year-old son is discussing his lack of a sex life.”

“Brandon adores Carrie, but I think he wants his father to date so badly that he would tell anyone he thought might get him doing it,” Jessica said. “Brandon is not quite as bad as Michael and Shane, but I can definitely see him getting that way if Drake doesn’t date soon.”

“What do you mean?” Brooke asked.

“Didn’t I tell you that Michael and Shane came to the school and talked me into going to see Will?” Jessica asked, letting go of Brooke’s hand as her daughter shook her head. “They begged me to date him, told me Will hadn’t been with anyone since he divorced their mother. They said he’d been waiting for me.”

“I think I’m in shock. What did you do?” Brooke asked, laughing at the image of the two of them confronting her mother in her classroom.

Jessica sighed. “I let them talk me into it. Shane was practically crying, which was shocking for a guy that looks like he does. Michael was begging and pleading. I finally caved, and it turned out to be worse than they were saying. Will was depressed and not getting out of bed—because of me.”

“Mom. . .well—wow,” Brooke said, at a loss for anything to say. What her mother was sharing was mind boggling. Will was tough and sweet and obviously completely in love with her mother. It was hard for Brooke to imagine anything cutting the man down like that emotionally.

“I went to the house, yelled at Will for being stupid about me, and climbed into bed with him while his sons watched,” Jessica said, defiance in her voice all these months later. “We made them go to dinner and leave us alone. Will and I talked, and I ended up spending the night.”

“Geez, you amaze me,” Brooke said. “Since the first time was in his truck, I’m guessing Will didn’t touch you that night?”

“No,” Jessica said flatly, the memory still smarting. “He had some strange ideas. Anyway, we had a big fight the next morning, which Michael witnessed, I later learned. Then I went out with Adam that evening because I’d already made the date.”

Brooke snickered. “You spent the night in Will’s bed, but still went out with the math teacher? Forget Shane. You’re the one that should write a book,” she said. “I’m sitting here riveted in my seat, and I’m related to you.”

Jessica laughed at the compliment. “Wait—I’m just getting to the good part. Will shaved his head, got an earring, and came after me that evening. It was like something you’d see in the movies. He was so sexy that I sent Adam home alone and ended up making out with Will in his truck.”

Jessica sighed and sipped her wine. “I guess up to the truck part, it sounds kind of dreamy, doesn’t it?”

“Yes,” Brooke agreed on a laugh. “Makes me sorry Carrie got to Michael first.”

Jessica laughed more. “Oh honey, Michael is
definitely
not like Will. He would drive you crazy. The man is very jealous, hovering and controlling, not to mention perpetually horny, if Carrie isn’t exaggerating. She says he uses sex to get his way with her. He’s not as stubborn as Shane, but he’s moody as hell. Not to mention, Michael wants a family whether Carrie does or not. He pushes her buttons just to see her get mad. I’m crazy about him, but sometimes I want to kick his ass for her sake.”

“Now there you go, ruining my harmless fantasy about my sexy stepbrother with the sordid truth about his imperfections,” Brooke joked. “Carrie said Barrymore was like Michael, only much nicer.”

Jessica thought about that analogy for a moment. “That sounds right. I think I would agree. Though I’m not completely sure about the nicer part. I think what she’s calling nicer in Drake, I’m going to call repression of his true nature. I could be wrong though.”

Brooke snorted. “Well, whatever the situation is with Dr. Barrymore, I’m definitely not nice. I’m shallow and demanding, and I have a quick temper. It was all I could do not to kill him the first day we talked in person at the gallery. Then when he took me to pick up Shane’s car at the impound lot, I answered everything he asked in two word sentences to avoid fighting. Barrymore irritates me on a basic level.”

“Like a rock in your shoe, or a special kind of itch that needs scratching—just by him?” Jessica asked, teasing.

“Like bitter, cold coffee that makes you cringe when you forget and take a sip,” Brooke said, laughing at their varied analogies, all the while thinking about how much she truly much liked her mother.

Jessica winced. “That’s bad. Nobody likes cold coffee. However, my instincts tell me he could heat up to scalding hot if circumstances were right.”

“You sound like Carrie. She goes on and on about feeling sorry for him,” Brook said.

Jessica shrugged and sipped more of her wine.

Brooke laughed and decided not to debate her mother’s instincts, especially since she didn’t want to admit that her instincts were telling her the same thing. “So when is everyone else getting here. I’m getting hungry.”

Jessica shrugged again, but looked up just as Ellen and Reesa were coming through the door. “Oh good. Ellen was able to talk the newest Larson victim—I mean bride—into coming.”