Commando (13 page)

“I—Well, how would you know?”

He smiled grimly. “Sweetheart, anyone who kisses like you do, who makes me feel like I’m melting in a hot fire, isn’t frigid—believe me.”

“Oh…” Shah sat looking up at Jake in the moments that followed. The heat of a blush stung her cheeks, and she gave a little laugh of embarrassment, placing her hands against her face. “Look at me! I’m blushing like a girl!”

Jake allowed his hands to drop away. “Every woman should have a bit of girl in her,” he whispered. “It makes you beautiful, Shah.” He savored the mixture of embarrassment and sudden hope he saw burning in Shah’s eyes. If he never did anything else for her in this lifetime, he’d at least given her back a piece of her soul, her womanhood, by helping her realize how wrong her ex-husband had been. He ached to teach her about love between a man and a woman. He ached to feel her open and blossom beneath his hands and body, like a lovely, fragrant orchid opening to the misty Amazonian sunlight for the first time. But those were all dreams, Jake realized sadly. And dreams, as he well knew, could shatter unexpectedly and be destroyed before one’s very eyes. It had happened once. It could happen again.

It took long minutes for Shah to gather her strewn composure. The dawn brightened, light gliding silently across the rain forest. Birds began to sing, the sound echoing the song in Shah’s heart. Jake’s arm remained around her shoulders as she sat, her hands pressed to her cheeks.

“Talk to me,” Jake urged her finally as he saw her drop her hands to her lap and clasp them nervously. “What are you feeling?”

She gave a startled little laugh. “Feeling? Everything! I feel like I’m in chaos, Jake.”

“Happy? Sad?” He held his breath, cherishing the intimacy strung gently between them.

“Both,” she admitted, and she glanced over at him, a sad smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. “I feel sorrow for myself, because once again I fell for Robert’s lies.” She frowned and stared down at her hands. “There were a couple of times—not many—when other men walked into my life. They weren’t bad men, and I got interested in them. But the moment they tried to take me to bed, I froze.” Shah frowned and admitted, “That was when I was younger, and I ran.”

Gently he rubbed her shoulders. “That’s over now. You’re more mature and settled.”

With a nod, Shah said, “Yes.”

“What are you happy about?”

She hesitated. “
Scared
would be a better word.”

“About?”

Uncomfortable, Shah finally said, “Us.”

His hand remained still on her shoulder, the thick silk of her hair beneath his fingers. He yearned to take her into his arms and kiss her until she melted like sweet nectar in his hands, his body. “What about ‘us’?”

“Well,” Shah mumbled, “it’s probably just me, not you. I have no right to assume anything. Especially when we haven’t known each other that long, and—”

Jake grimaced. “Shah, you can tell me anything. I’m not like Robert. I’m not going to judge how you feel.”

Closing her eyes, Shah remained silent. The words got stuck in her throat and congealed there. She was struggling to say them, and she could feel Jake’s tension, too. Finally she rubbed her temples in a nervous gesture. “I—I didn’t want to like you, Jake. At first, I thought you were like all the men I’ve known.”

He studied her intently, praying for her to tell him that she liked him even half as much as he loved her. Jake couldn’t stand the tension, but he realized Shah was genuinely struggling to overcome her fear. Robert had taken advantage of Shah’s innocence. He’d placed her in a cage and nearly broken her magnificent spirit.

Gently Jake smoothed the damp fabric across her back. “Look,” he told her huskily, “don’t force anything, Shah. Let’s you and I take it one day at a time.”

Touching her throat, Shah gave him a pleading look. “I—I just can’t say the words, Jake. I’m afraid. Afraid…”

So was he. Just as much as she was, and maybe more. “It takes guts to admit even as much as you already have,” he murmured. Glancing up, he said, “It’s light enough to travel. What do you say we finish off those last two mangos for breakfast and hightail it back to the mission? When you feel like talking, you can. In the meantime, we’ve got work to do, darlin’.”

Grateful for Jake’s understanding, Shah fought the desire to throw her arms around his neck and embrace him. Would that one heated kiss he’d shared with her ever be repeated? She couldn’t tear her gaze from his strong, mobile mouth, which was drawn into a wry smile. If Jake realized she was gawking at him, he didn’t say anything. Instead, he eased off the limb and dropped to the jungle floor below.

He held his hands open to her. “Come on.”

The day fled swiftly, as far as Shah was concerned. They had made good progress toward the mission. With each hour, Jake relaxed, feeling that Hernandez and his henchmen were far behind them. However, he cautioned Shah to speak in low tones and not make any undue noise.

Sometimes, to Shah’s delight, Jake would drop back and capture her hand, and they’d walk beside each other. It was as if he had read her mind, understanding her doubts about the kiss they’d shared last night—as if he were silently trying to convince her that his feelings toward her weren’t short-term. Jake’s hand was warm and reassuring, and Shah savored those moments when he’d look down at her with such warmth that she felt as if she were walking on air.

Water was a problem in the forest—drinking from the Amazon would have given them parasites and germs—so Shah showed Jake the liana vines, about one inch in diameter. Whenever they needed water, they would carefully cut a vine open and drink from the water stored within it. He praised her knowledge of survival, and she felt like a true team member, not just some bothersome burden to Jake.

Jake’s own jungle training came in handy when he spotted a certain type of palm that, when stripped of leaves, yielded a sweet inner core that supplied them with lunch. Heart of palm was a delicacy in Brazil, often pickled and sold for a high price in the cities. They sat hidden in the rain forest, eating the sweet, juicy heart of palm and exchanging smiles over the pleasure of sharing such a stolen moment together. As the day began fading and dusk set in, they looked for another tree to act as bed and security against the denizens of the Amazon night. Jake spotted a rubber tree about a hundred feet inland from the bank of the Amazon. Taking off his pistol and laying it on a stump next to Shah, who was shelling some nuts she’d found, he went in search of the makings of a better bed for them tonight. Moving around the immediate area, Jake found a number of broken limbs that had probably been torn off in the sudden thunderstorms that constantly occurred in the Amazon Basin.

Satisfied with the platform he’d made out of the branches, Jake cut a number of palm leaves to create a mattress. If they had to spend another night in a tree, it might as well be in relative comfort, he rationalized. Satisfied with his handiwork, he leaped off the finished platform and dusted off his hands.

Shah was sitting by the tree stump, having just finished dividing their larder, when she heard a sharp squeal. Her eyes widened enormously.

“Jake!” she screamed, and leaped to her feet, pointing behind where he stood.

Startled, Jake whirled and crouched. He’d heard the almost human squeal, too, and he was expecting an attack from a man. Instead, the green vegetation thirty feet away shook and trembled, and a brown, furry boar with long, curved white tusks exploded out of the jungle, charging him. Jake started to move, but the fifty-pound boar, with small red eyes and a long snout, shifted course, aiming directly for him.

Time slowed down to a painful, crawling clarity. Jake knew his only safety was the tree, which was a mere ten feet away. He saw the boar’s mouth open, froth spilling from the corners of it, his lethal, razor-sharp tusks glinting with saliva. What about Shah? She was even more vulnerable to attack by the angered beast. The moment’s hesitation cost Jake. He could have turned and made it to the safety of the tree in three strides. But he’d have left Shah defenseless. Grimly he stood his ground.

The boar smashed into him, knocking him down. With a shrieking squeal, the animal whirled around and charged into him again, then again. Each angry movement of his tusks slashed long, deep cuts through Jake’s torn pant legs. Floundering, he tried to keep the boar at bay by using his feet to kick out at the animal. Jake yelled for Shah, but the squeals of the furious boar drowned out his cry.

Shah jerked the Beretta out of its holster. She watched in horror as the boar ruthlessly attacked Jake. She saw blood staining his legs, and she rushed forward. The boar whuffed and grunted as he butted Jake’s feet, pushing them aside to again attack his extremities. Shah aimed the pistol, praying she wouldn’t hit Jake. The Beretta jerked once, twice, three times. The roar of the pistol shattered her eardrums. And then there was silence.

Sobbing, Shah allowed the pistol to drop from her hands. “Jake!” she cried. “Jake!”

A
cry tore from Shah as she raced to Jake. The boar lay dead near his boots. Falling to her knees, her mouth contorted in a silent cry, she touched his shoulder. At first she thought he must be dead, but then she saw Jake’s eyes flutter open.

Pain was beginning to replace the initial numbness Jake had felt during the savage boar’s attack. He forced himself to focus on speaking. “I’m okay,” he choked out, and made an effort to rise. Shah helped him sit up. He watched as she moved toward his legs. The boar had cut his pants to ribbons and Jake realized with a sinking feeling that the fabric was stained with blood. His blood.

“Jake, you’re hemorrhaging!” Shah barely touched the surface of his trousers with her shaking fingertips. The boar had opened some thirty wounds in Jake’s legs. If Jake hadn’t had the coolness to use his heavily protected feet to keep the boar from getting to other, less protected parts of his body, he might be dead.

“Take my knife,” he ordered Shah sternly, “and cut my trousers off at the knee.” Leaning to one side, Jake unsnapped the knife from his belt and handed it, butt first, to Shah. Her face was pale, and her eyes were dark with shock. Jake knew he was in shock himself, because he was acting too calmly. They had to act fast, before the initial shock wore off. “Cut off my trousers,” he repeated to Shah, and she took the knife with shaking hands.

“The wounds…they’re terrible, terrible…” Shah whispered as she surveyed the damage to Jake’s legs.

“I’m alive,” Jake said, supporting himself with his arms behind him. He tried to prepare himself for how badly damaged his legs were as Shah cut away the fabric to expose the extent of his wounds. His mouth turned downward as he realized that it looked as if someone had taken a razor blade and slashed indiscriminately at his flesh from his ankles to his knees. He saw Shah trying not to cry, trying to be brave.

“You’re doing fine,” Jake told her in an unsteady voice. He was starting to feel light-headed, the first effects of the adrenaline charge in his bloodstream beginning to wear off. “Shah,” he called as he lay down, “put something, anything, under my feet. Get the blood back to my head. I’m feeling faint….”

Those were the last words he spoke. Before Shah could get off her knees, Jake passed out. Alarmed, she made sure his head was tipped back enough to allow air to flow in and out of his lungs. Blood was soaking into the decomposed leaves all around his legs. Shah shoved her own unraveling feelings aside. She had to think swiftly and clearly now. She had to think for both of them, or Jake might bleed to death.

Getting to her feet, she found a small log and placed it beneath his ankles, elevating his legs by six inches so that the blood would begin to flow back toward his upper body and to his head. Then she ran to their knapsacks, wondering what, if any, first-aid kit she’d find in Jake’s pack. Because he had been a recon marine and a paramedic, she thought he might have packed medical items; she’d packed only aspirin and Band-Aids in her own pack.

She tore at the buckles and the leather straps, her breath coming out in sobs. Where had that boar come from? Why hadn’t she remembered how dangerous the wild boars of the Amazon Basin were? And, worse, why hadn’t she warned Jake about them? They were the only animals she’d failed to tell him about.

Tears blurred Shah’s eyes as she rummaged quickly through the pack, throwing things out in a desperate search for a first-aid kit. The wild pigs lived in small and large groups, always lorded over by a huge older boar, and they were feared by the Indians for their savagery and their willingness to attack anyone who entered their foraging territory. Oh, why hadn’t she told Jake about them?

Her fingers closed over a large metal container. Shah froze for an instant. She was down to the bottom of Jake’s pack, and there was nothing else left in it. If this wasn’t a first-aid kit, they were in trouble. Gulping, she yanked the rectangular box out of the knapsack. Her eyes widened when she saw that it was white, with a large red cross painted on its smooth surface.

Trying to talk herself out of her panic, Shah set the kit down on the ground and unlatched it. To her relief, she found huge rolls of gauze, ace bandages, scissors, iodine and adhesive tape. Shutting her eyes, she hung her head and sent a prayer of thanks to the Great Spirit.

Getting up on unsteady legs, Shah forced herself to calm down and try to think coherently. It was almost impossible, because in those horrifying moments when the boar had attacked Jake, she had realized something that she knew would change her world. Dropping to her knees, she quickly examined the wounds that crisscrossed Jake’s exposed extremities. The curved slashes scored his flesh, but as Shah looked closely at them, relief began to trickle back and give her hope.

She hadn’t had much medical training—all she knew was what Pai Jose had taught her over the past three months, when she’d helped him at the mission hospital—but she knew that Jake’s loss of blood wasn’t life-threatening. He would need a great many stitches—perhaps a hundred or more on each leg—and she couldn’t do that. Taking the iodine, she poured it liberally into the wounds on both legs and hoped that Jake remained unconscious during her efforts to bandage them.

Shah’s head spun with options. She had no idea how badly the boar had cut into Jake’s legs, or if his muscles had been damaged. If they had, he wouldn’t be able to walk, and she’d have to leave him here to rush back to the mission for help. But the mission was still maybe half a day away. Unrolling the thick gauze, Shah reassured herself that Jake’s wounds, while serious, wouldn’t be fatal. What was potentially life-threatening was the fact that she had no antibiotics to stop any infection that would occur as a result of the attack.

She glanced down at Jake’s booted feet, then studied the boar’s bloodied tusks. Dirt and stains marred their curved length, and she was convinced that bacteria must have been transferred to Jake’s many wounds. Urgency thrummed through her as she quickly wrapped his legs in swaths of gauze. The pristine whiteness of the dressing stood out starkly against the dark, damp leaves on the floor of the jungle.

Rubbing her brow with the back of her hand, Shah stood up. She went to the river and quickly washed her hands. As she hurried back to Jake’s side, she heard him groan and watched him weakly raise his hand. Kneeling and placing her fingers against his shoulder to orient him, Shah realized with a clarity that frightened her that she loved Jake Randolph. The boar’s attack had ripped away all her defenses against her feelings. Now, as she watched him slowly become conscious, Shah felt her heart contract beneath the weight of the discovery. Jake could die before she could get him to the mission. If she left him here and went alone, a jaguar or jacare could find Jake, because of the powerful smell of blood. Infection would set in quickly, due to the humid climate, and could make him feverish and delirious within the next twelve hours. Worst of all, Jake could have blood poisoning, which would mean a race against time before the lethal bacteria reached his heart and caused it to stop beating forever.

Her fingers tightened on Jake’s shoulder as his lashes lifted to expose his bewildered gray eyes.

“Jake, you’re all right,” Shah told him, her voice shaking. “You’re safe, and the boar’s dead.”

Fighting the faintness rimming his blurred vision, Jake homed in on Shah’s husky voice. He felt her strong, slender hand on his shoulder. Weakly he captured her hand and held it. Flashes of the boar coming out of the jungle and attacking him forced him to recall why he was lying on the ground feeling light-headed. As the minutes crawled by, the pain drifting up from his legs forced him into full consciousness. The smarting, jabbing pains were like thousands of hot needles being poked into his flesh.

Jake looked up into Shah’s anguished face. Her eyes were huge and dark with suffering, and her lips were compressed as if she were about to burst into tears. His mouth stretched, but the smile twisted into a grimace. Squeezing her fingers, he rasped, “I’m alive.”

“Y-yes.”

He frowned and lifted his head. “How bad?”

“Maybe thirty or so cuts on each leg, Jake. The boar’s tusks were like razors.”

“How much blood did I lose?” he asked, craning to look at his bandaged legs. The effort was too much for him, and he sank back to the ground.

Shah glanced anxiously down at him. For Jake’s sake, she wanted to sound calm. She didn’t want to alarm him. “I don’t know. Maybe half a pint, a full pint. I’m not a nurse. I don’t know.”

With a nod, Jake clung to her hand. “If I’d lost a lot, I’d be feeling a hell of a lot more light-headed than I do,” he muttered. “I’m in shock right now.”

“I know….”

“Just let me lie here for another half hour, Shah, and I’ll start coming out of it.”

“Are—are you cold?”

He was, but he knew there were no blankets to put over him. “A little, but I’ll be okay.” He heard the terror in Shah’s voice, although it was obvious she was trying to hide her panic. He loved her fiercely for her courage.

“That was one hell of a pig,” he joked wearily. “I think I’d rather see my pork all nicely wrapped in a package in a grocery store. What do you think?”

Shah wiped the tears off her face. “This isn’t funny, Jake. He must weigh close to sixty pounds,” Shah told him. “Old and big. Oh, Jake, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the wild pigs. If I had—”

Forcing his eyes open, Jake met and held her tearful gaze. “Honey, even if you had, it couldn’t have prepared me for his charge. I didn’t know he was there, and neither did you.”

“But you hesitated!” Shah cried. “Why? You could have jumped up in the tree and been safe! Why didn’t you?”

A loose, pained smile crossed Jake’s mouth. He squeezed her fingers. “Because he’d have gone after you with me out of the way. There was no place for you to go, Shah. I didn’t have my pistol on me, or I could’ve shot the bastard. I didn’t want to jump into the tree and leave you the target.”

Shah digested his logic. It was true: she’d had absolutely nowhere to go to escape the boar’s charge. The animal could have outrun her easily—and boars were strong swimmers, too, so it wouldn’t have helped to jump in the river. Jake had made a conscious decision to be the boar’s target to save her from his attack. Kneeling next to him, she held his warm gaze. It was marred by pain.

“You should have saved yourself,” she whispered.

“I’m your bodyguard, remember? It’s my job to keep you safe,” he joked wearily. Then he sighed heavily. “You’ve been a target all your life, Shah. I was damned if I was going to be like every other man in your life and leave you open for attack. No way.”

Shaken, Shah hung her head and forced back the tears that threatened to fall. Her love for him welled up fiercely within her, and she fought the urge to tell him exactly that. Several minutes passed before she was able to control the feelings rampaging through her.

Jake watched Shah’s reaction to his reasoning, seeing disbelief then confusion in her eyes. Didn’t she realize she was worth saving? There had been such damage done to Shah by her father and her ex-husband. Little men with brittle egos who had used her as a scapegoat for their own shortcomings. He lifted her hand toward his mouth and kissed her fingers.

“We need to plan what we’re going to do,” he said with an effort. Night was beginning to fall, turning the Amazon a misty gray and making the rain forest a dark silhouette against the sky.

With a jerky nod of her head, Shah agreed. Jake’s lips upon her fingers sent a ribbon of warmth through her pounding heart. Despite the pain he must be in, he was trying to soothe her! Shah knew she had to be strong for both of them if she was going to get Jake back to the mission alive. Time was the enemy now.

“We’ve got to get you up on that tree platform,” Shah said, her low voice off-key. She wondered if the pistol shots she’d fired had been heard by Hernandez’s men. The rain forest was thick and absorbed sounds quickly, so it was unlikely. Still, there was always a possibility of further threat from the land baron.

Jake agreed. “Take the limb out from under my feet and help me get up,” he said.

Shah removed the limb and gently placed his booted feet on the ground. She watched Jake’s face carefully, realizing that he had an extraordinary ability to master pain. Perhaps it was because he’d been a recon marine.

“I’ll help you sit up,” she whispered, placing her arm beneath his neck and pulling him up.

Biting back a groan, Jake sat up. Dizziness assailed him, and he leaned forward, resting his brow on his knees to draw the blood back to his head. He felt Shah’s hands on his shoulders, steadying him.

“Put your arm around my shoulders,” she told him as she crouched next to him. “You can lean on me as we get you to your feet.”

Jake didn’t know the extent of his injuries. If that old boar had slashed deeply enough into his legs, his Achilles tendon might be cut, leaving him unable to walk. Bothered, but keeping that knowledge to himself, Jake did as she instructed. He knew she wasn’t strong enough to support his full bulk and weight. No, he had to use his own inner fortitude to stand up.

But as Shah straightened, Jake realized that he’d underestimated her strength. Despite her slenderness, she was like a steel cable supporting him as he rose to a standing position. Dizziness might have felled him if not for Shah holding him steady.

“You’re stronger than I thought,” he rasped, his head resting against her hair.

Shah nearly blurted out,
My love for you has made me strong.
The discovery that she loved Jake was so new, so overwhelming, that she hadn’t had time to react to the knowledge. Too many more important things had to be addressed before she could sit quietly and examine her feelings. “How do your legs feel?” she asked.

Jake slowly raised his head and leaned heavily against Shah until he got his bearings. “They smart like hell, but I need to see if I can walk.”

Her fear magnified, as she silently agreed with his judgment. She knew he was aware of the ramifications if he couldn’t walk. “Take just a small step,” she pleaded hoarsely, praying that he wouldn’t fall.