Command Performance (20 page)

Relax? How was that possible? She watched as he slathered a good bit of lube over his rigid length.

“I’m using more than I usually would,” he said. “For now, you’ll need it. Maybe in a while you won’t need as much.”

In a while? How many times would they do this? He pressed closer between her thighs, lifting her legs in his arms and bracing them against his chest. He tilted her hips up and all the thoughts in her mind went blank, except for one blatant thought.
Oh God, oh fuck, please don’t hurt too much.
His lips were pressed into a line, his face taut with concentration. He pushed the head of his cock against her hole, and then he was parting her. Damn.
Ow...
It hurt terribly, but the head, at least, was fitting into her. Her breath came faster as she tried to accommodate him. He made a low sound and squeezed her waist.

“Okay, baby, I’m going to move into you slowly. Your job is to relax and let it happen.”

Relax. Relax.
His fingers were back, teasing and stroking her clit. At the same time, he moved forward, slowly forward. There was pain, but some kind of pleasure too. A fullness, a dirty-ness that aroused her above and beyond the nagging discomfort. She clenched around him and he groaned.

“Oh God, you feel like fucking heaven. Are you okay? Okay, baby?”

“Ohhh...” It was all she could say. He started fucking her, slowly, miraculously, in the ass. His gaze was beautiful in its intensity. His eyes held hers, searching for reactions as he pressed deeper. She understood now why he’d decided on this position for the first time—so he could watch her face and monitor that she was okay. He was gentle as he’d promised, but it still felt brutal because she was so deeply at his mercy. Her legs were parted, her hands trapped over her head, and his cock was inside that taboo place.

“Move now, baby,” he prompted. “Move until it feels good.”

She arched her hips tentatively, moving her clit against those maddening fingers. If she’d been facedown, she could have ground on his fingers and brought herself off within moments, even with his cock in her ass, but on her back there was no way to achieve that contact except to seek it herself. He picked up the pace now that she’d adjusted to him. His deep, steady thrusts felt scary and hot at the same time. She arched her pelvis as much as she could, all her focus on that small spot aching with need. He made her squirm against his hand with no thought to dignity, all the time plowing into her most private, most vulnerable place.

The hotter she got, the more abandoned her movements, the harder he fucked her. Soon it wasn’t only the clitoral stimulation thrilling her, but the feel of his hard length inside her. She gripped him with her ass, feeling dirty and wanton. It seemed like hours, but it was probably only four or five minutes before her whimpers rose to a whine.

“Come on, girl,” he groaned. “I want to see you come hard. I want to see you lose your mind while I shove my fat, hard cock in your ass.”

His gruff words were the last stimulus she could bear. Her whole pelvis contracted, her yearned-for completion finally gripping her. She gritted her teeth and clasped her hands into fists, bracing herself as he pounded into her spasming asshole. He came a moment later with a drawn out moan. Her legs trembled from the force of the orgasm, from the joy of release. All the pent-up stimulation unrolled into a blinding climax that left her weak. If Mason hadn’t grasped her hips, if her hands hadn’t been bound, she would have slithered right off the platform into a heap on the floor. As it was, she curled her body into a ball, letting him gather her close atop the bench, his cock still buried deep inside.

They remained that way for several minutes, Mason cradling her, slowly caressing her and stroking her hair. Why had she ever feared this? It had hurt, sure, but the intensity of the connection more than made up for that.

“My God,” she said softly.

“You okay?” He sounded worried. “I lost control there at the end.”

“So did I.” Or rather, he’d stripped her control away like he always did. “I’m fine,” she said, gazing into his eyes. “That was amazing. I mean, it’s not something I’d like to do three times a day or anything, but it was hot once we got going. Once you wedged yourself in there.”

“Two times a day then,” he teased. “I guess I can live with that.”

She squeezed around his cock. “Why aren’t you going soft again?”

He pressed farther inside, stroking her shoulders, dropping a kiss on her nose. “Because I like being inside you. I feel so close to you when we’re connected. Thanks for doing this for me. I know you were freaked out about the pain. I know you were scared, but I never would have hurt you.”

He meant the bad kind of hurt. No, he never went there with her, which is why she trusted him so much. She tugged at her bonds, smiling up at him. “I think I’ll always be a little scared. Which probably makes you happy.”

Mason grinned back. “You know me so well. Okay, good girl. I’m going to pull out. Then we’ll head upstairs and shower.”

He withdrew as carefully as he’d pushed in. She felt so empty there now, after the plugs and the ardent assfucking. He undid the cuffs at her wrists and helped her stand. He took off her collar with gentle fingers while she leaned against him and drifted to his scent and the sound of his voice.

Upstairs in his bathroom they stood under the hot stream and embraced and kissed until she felt squeaky clean again. She was wide awake but he was clearly tired. He’d been working so hard lately. Unlike her. When they crawled into his bed he sighed and pulled her back against his chest.

“You know, it’s really nice coming home to you.”

Miri bit her lip. The reason she was always here for him to come home to was because she wasn’t working. Not the first whisper of a casting call, at least not anything she’d consider doing. She was running out of savings to make the payments for her grandma’s care and nursing home—and with her father unable to work, the bills were getting harder and harder to budget for. She didn’t want to burden Mason with any of this, because they were her problems, her issues.

“What’s the matter?” He stroked her face, his eyes dark with concern.

“Nothing,” Miri said. “Everything’s fine.”

He pulled her close and stroked a hand up her arm. “If I get too rough or do stuff to you that you don’t like, you have to say something. You remember the safeword, right?”

She turned away on her side. “Yes, I remember the safeword. You remind me all the time.”

“Hey.” He sat up on his arm and turned her back over. “Tell me what’s wrong. I’m not a good guesser. If you didn’t like having anal, it’s okay. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. If you don’t enjoy it, it’s not fun for me.”

“Do you really think I didn’t enjoy it? Are you blind?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I am some of the time, especially when it comes to women.”

“I like everything we do together. But there are things going on in my life besides…besides us.”

He nudged her cheek with his soft dark hair. “What things? Confide in me, please.”

Why? So I can sound pathetic and hopeless to you?
“Just work stress. That’s all.”

“Work stress? But you’re not working.” She gave him a look and understanding dawned. “Oh. Well, did you call John London’s agent? Follow up on that contact with Jenny Sigusa?”

Ugh. This was why there was ultimately no hope for them. He was a star and she wasn’t. And she hated him sometimes for his success, but she hated him more for the way he prodded her, like she could catch up to him if she only tried hard enough. Miri turned her back on him again. “I’m tired. I want to go to sleep.”

“Come on, hon. Don’t be mad. I’m trying to help.”

“I don’t need your help. Yes, I followed up on all those contacts. Of course I did. Don’t treat me like a child, like my father.”

“I am not—” Mason turned her over forcefully and pinned her beneath him. “I am not your father. Anyway, these things take time. You think I don’t remember what it was like, being a struggling actor? You think I don’t still struggle sometimes? When this current project is done, I’ll have more time to help you. Help you make more connections.”

Every word out of his mouth made her feel worse. “I’m not in the mood for career counseling, Mason. I want to go to sleep.”

“Then snuggle with me. We just had ass sex for the first time, for fuck’s sake. Don’t turn over and give me your back. Let me hold you while we fall asleep. Help you feel better.”

Help, help, help. He was helping her so much she was about to explode from it. But it wasn’t his fault she needed so much help. It wasn’t his fault self-doubt suffocated her a little more each day. She reached out for him as he pulled the blankets up over them. “I’m sorry,” she said. “You don’t deserve this crap. I had a wonderful time with you tonight. I always do.”

He hugged her back, his trademark warm, solid hug. “It’s okay, babe. Oh,” he said, his expression brightening. “I meant to tell you, my friends are throwing a party for my birthday next week. Just a small thing. Don’t get me anything. I already have...” His eyes roved over her. “I already have too much. Please don’t get me anything.”

That sounded so distancing, but she nodded. Okay, she’d return the gift she’d already bought. The pretty frame—not gold plated, she wasn’t rich enough. But inside she’d put a copy of that first picture of them, the one at the Golden Globes, when she’d been laughing like an idiot and he’d looked at her so sweetly. Yeah, it was probably a stupid gift to give him now. She’d take the picture out and return it if she could find the receipt.

He was still going on about the party. They were invited, blah blah. Kai Chandler’s house. Jeremy and Nell would be there. Maybe Jeremy could make some connections for her, blah blah. Was this what she was reduced to? Trying to finagle career favors from his friends at his birthday party? She’d rather die first.

“That sounds fun,” she said when he finally paused. “Yes, I would love to come.”

“Oh, and...” He looked away, then back at her again. “There might be some extracurricular activities. You know. After dark.”

He was trying to be offhand but she could see the hope in his gaze. “These extracurricular activities,” she asked. “Do they happen to be the swinging, kinky-sex-pervert type?”

“Perhaps.” He smiled back. “No pressure. We don’t have to stay for that part if you don’t want. But they, you know—”

“I remember. I read the tabloid articles.”

“Yeah. And you’re pretty into the kink stuff now. I’m just throwing it out there, in case you think it might be fun.”

Miri wasn’t sure how she felt about it. “Do you think it’s fun to do that?” she asked. “Swap and have group sex and stuff?”

He shrugged. “I’ve done it before. It can be sexy if you’re into it.”

In other words, yes. Well, what the hell. She’d come this far and enjoyed everything he did to her. She might as well give this a whirl too. She’d probably never have another chance.

He dropped a kiss on her forehead, then cupped her face and ran a thumb across her cheek. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to, seriously. It’s up to you.”

“It’s your party. I want it to be as fun for you as possible. I’ll try anything once.”

“How about we wait until we’re there and see how we feel?”

She nodded. “Okay.”

“Okay,” he repeated, kissing her on the nose and smiling down at her. Oh wow. That smile. She would never forget it, no matter what happened, no matter how things panned out at the end of it. Just...God. What a smile.

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you,

Happy Birthday, dear Mason...

Miri sang quietly, studying Mason’s group of friends. Presents surrounded the double layer cake, gifts from everyone but her. Jeremy and Nell had brought a present, Kai and Constance, even Jeremy and Nell’s daughter, who came for the G-rated portion of the party and climbed in Mason’s lap while he opened hers—a framed, hand drawn picture of him. Miri was glad now she hadn’t brought her framed photo. It probably would have seemed equally childlike and immature.

“He told me not to get him anything,” she complained to the others. Awkward. Other than that, it was a fun party. Casual and intimate, just the five friends, her, and little Rhiannon, who would have to leave with her nanny after she had some cake.

Miri had a feeling Rhiannon’s exit would signal the start of the X-rated portion of the party.

Mason had explained everything to her before they came, about their kinky clique, about LoveSlave, the private club where the rich and famous played. He explained that he and Jessamine and Jeremy and Nell used to hook up together, in the same way that Kai and Constance played around with Jeremy and Nell now. He admitted he’d also partied with Constance before she and Kai got married. “It was all for fun, a chance to do something a little wild and different,” he said. “But you know, all it ever was with us was playing. Hedonism.”

“So I shouldn’t feel jealous?” she asked, trying to keep her voice light.

“No, don’t feel jealous. I don’t have designs on Nell or Constance, and I’m sure they don’t have designs on me. Maybe it sounds weirdly casual but...” He shrugged. “It is what it is.”

“Lifestyles of the kinky and famous.”

“Hey, it could be worse. I could be dragging some hapless innocent to my remote island lair for sexual enslavement.”

“That would be awful.”

“Yep.”

Miri was really okay with the swapping-and-playing-around thing. The more she thought about it, the sexier it sounded to her. Jeremy Gray was a huge movie star, blond haired and blue eyed, ripped and domly as hell, even playing vanilla roles. Kai Chandler was tall and dark, half-Indian, with a relaxed presence that oozed sensuality whenever he moved or smiled. Yum.

If only Nell and Constance weren’t so damn beautiful. Nell was as sparky and gorgeous as her head of fire-red hair, and Constance was eroticism defined. Silent—well, she was deaf—and so fluid and graceful in her movements that she might have been a ballet dancer. Constance was wearing clothes now only because they had company, Mason told her. She spent the rest of her time at home naked. How the hell was Miri supposed to compete with that? It bothered her that the two women seemed almost more comfortable with Mason than she was herself.