Coming Attractions (12 page)

An angry shadow fell across Rick’s face. “Katie, what are you doing?”

“I’m… I’m breaking us up.”

“No, you’re not,” he snapped.

“Yes, I am! I’m breaking up with you, Rick Doyle.”

“No, you’re not.” He shook his head and growled, “We aren’t breaking up, Katie. It’s not going to happen.”

“Yes, it is going to happen. It’s happening now. I’m breaking us up because I just figured it out. You and I have gone as
far as our hearts can carry us. This is it. We’re not knit together at the heart, and I don’t think we ever will be.”

Rick rose and stood over Katie with his hands on his hips. “This is insane. You’re insane. Do you know what you’re doing?
You’re ruining this weekend. Completely ruining everything. It’s the stress, isn’t it?”

“No, it’s not the stress.”

“I think it is. Why else would you do this? I think you’re letting the stress of school get to you. It’s just school. You’re
never even going to use the stuff you’re writing papers on now. All you have to do is make it through these last few weeks
without doing anything stupid, and then you’re going to graduate and — ”

“Yeah, and then what?”

“You’re going to come work for me.”

Katie pulled back, stunned. “What? Work for you?”

She had thought he was going to say, “After you graduate, we’re going to get engaged” or “We’re going to plan our life together.”
His answer confirmed everything Katie’s gut had told her upstairs in the darkened guestroom.

“I’m not going to work for you, Rick. I’m not going back to the café.”

“Why not?”

“That’s not what I want to do.”

He towered over her, scowling and blinking. “Since when did you decide that?”

“Since always. We never talked about my working for you. You made that up. I never said I wanted to do that.”

“But you did last summer.”

“That was then. This is now.”

“Okay, fine. Don’t come work at the café. But if you don’t work for me, what do you want to do?”

Katie set her jaw firmly. “I want to go to Africa.”

Rick stared at her as if he suddenly had no idea who this woman in front of him was.

“Actually, I wanted both of us to go to Africa.”

“What are you talking about? I would never go to Africa. Never. Not for any reason. You’ve heard Eli talk about Africa. Why
would you want to go there?”

Katie held out her hands palms up and said, “This is exactly what I’m talking about. It’s obvious. We’re not knit together
at the heart, Rick. Don’t you see?”

He folded his arms across his chest, keeping both hands in fists. “I… you… you know what? I think both of us should go back
to sleep and start fresh in the morning. This is a nightmare. You’re acting out a nightmare, Katie. That’s what this is. Some
sort of stress-induced, hormone-overloaded nightmare. It’s insane. You’re insane.”

“No, I’m not.”

Rick raised his voice and his height. “We are not breaking up, Katie.”

Katie kept her gaze fixed on him and stated firmly and evenly, “Yes, we are.”

“No, we’re not!”

She rose and stood with her shoulders back and her chin up as she gave him a look that expressed her determination. “I am
breaking up with you, right here, right now. This has nothing to do with my hormones. This is in my heart, and I will not
change my mind. Tomorrow morning we will still be broken up. And I know that once you get over being furious with me, you’ll
see this is right. This is true. This is as far as we go, Rick.”

Rick didn’t budge. He stared at her with vivid anger. Neutral Rick didn’t return as was usually the case when they argued.
Instead, Katie was looking at the true Rick. He was furious, and he should be. She liked him better this way, true to his
emotions. She knew that she was being a thousand percent true to her heart and her emotions. This was right.

Rick marched past Katie and exited the kitchen, leaving her alone at the counter with all the lights on. She lowered herself
onto the kitchen stool and sat for a long time, letting the reality of what had just happened roll over her. Her heart was
pounding, and her hands were shaking. Her bare feet felt tingly from the cold floor.

Katie stared at the clock on the microwave. The green digital numbers clicked to 1:11.

A painful wince caught in her throat. A parade of memories came to her of the times she had spent with Rick in kitchens. Doug
and Tracy’s kitchen was where they first had started their flirt-fest that led to this long relationship. The kitchen of the
Dove’s Nest Café had been the location of many moments for them — mostly good ones. And in Rick’s apartment kitchen Katie
had challenged him to express his feelings for her and demonstrate them outwardly by kissing her.

She and Rick had shared a lot of life together. Had she done the right thing by breaking up with him? She thought so, but
at the same time she realized that the way she had handled the unveiling of her decision hadn’t been fair to him. He hadn’t
seen this coming. She could have waited. They could have done this differently. But if she had waited, she had a feeling she
would have talked herself out of it.

Katie’s sensitivity to how Rick was feeling right then came over her with heart-pounding intensity. She loved him. She knew
she did. She never wanted to hurt him.

“I’m sorry, Rick.” Her whisper was far too soft to reach his ears, but her small words were nonetheless sincere.

What have I done?

With urgency rising up inside her to try to smooth things out, Katie paced the floor.
What if I go into the living room and apologize? I’ll tell him I still think we should break up, but I realize I didn’t handle
it well, and I’m sorry I hurt him. And, by the way, Rick, I still love you, even though I know we’re not supposed to be together
anymore.

No, I can’t do that.

Katie chewed on the cuticle of her thumbnail, trying in vain to think of a way to take the sting out of all this. But the
only way she could think of to make things better was to go into the other room and retract everything. If she apologized
profusely, she knew Rick would forgive her and take her back. He would wrap his arms around her, and the calming sensation
of his closeness, his touch, his deep voice would make her feel happy.

But for how long?

A tear rolled down her cheek.

This really is the end. It’s over between us. It really is.

A chorus of soft tears rose from the depths of Katie’s heart and cascaded down her face in mournful unison. With them came
the painful, certain affirmation that this was right. Everything she had said to Rick was true. This was as far as they could
go. Her delivery of that truth may have been less than compassionate. But she knew she couldn’t do anything to change the
circumstances — short of an elaborate apology and passionate plea for reconciliation. And she knew she couldn’t do that.

Her relationship with Rick Doyle was over.

Turning off the kitchen light, Katie returned to the guestroom as quietly as possible and crawled back into bed. The tug of
war continued. She tried once more to work out a scenario in which she could go downstairs and wake Rick again. Could they
talk this through? Would he see that she was right? Would he agree to be good friends on the spot and stick around tomorrow
to help her shop for cars?

No, this wasn’t the time for that conversation.

A shiver ran up her legs as she rubbed her cold feet together, trying to warm them. Sleep seemed the only right answer to
anything at this point.

Katie could feel herself letting go. In time to Christy’s even breathing, Katie released everything — Rick, their relationship,
her future, all her strained emotions. She felt her weary spirit sinking into the rest that had eluded her for far too long.

Under the covering of blessed sleep, Katie let go.

When she awoke, she knew by the amount of sunlight streaming into the room that the morning was half spent. Christy’s side
of the bed was vacant, and the house was quiet. Katie lay in the stillness without moving.

Her mind systematically reviewed the drama she had initiated in the middle of the night.

I broke up with Rick.

A tightness constricted her throat, and a queasy feeling rolled around in her stomach. But her heart felt oddly settled.

Did I do the right thing, Father? I did, didn’t I? I shouldn’t change my mind, should I?

The strange, fixed sense of peace remained.

“This is weird. This is so way weird. I shouldn’t feel this calm, should I? Unless that’s you, God. Is it? Is this what I’m
supposed to feel right now?” Katie sat up and looked around the empty room. For some reason, God felt close.

She wondered if Rick felt any of these same feelings. Had he come to the same conclusions during the night? Had he told the
others yet? How would the rest of this day roll out? Would Rick still want to be involved in helping her to shop for a car,
or would he just want to be on his way back to the café?

Katie knew she had messed up the whole weekend, just as Rick had said. She also knew she couldn’t have gone through today
faking that everything was great in their relationship. No, not after the defining realization that had come in the middle
of the night. None of what she had done was smooth or particularly considerate of Rick, but she somehow knew it was right.

Pressing her feet to the floor, Katie went through a pace of quick steps to shower, dress, and head downstairs.

The house was quiet. No one was in the living room. The air mattress Rick had slept on was put away. The Sunday morning paper
and two coffee mugs rested on the coffee table.

Katie made her way to the kitchen and found Marti at the kitchen sink, rinsing off a cluster of red grapes.

“Hi.”

Marti spun around. In one swift motion she turned off the water, put the grapes on the counter, and dried her hands with a
towel.

“Well, at last! You certainly had an extravagant sleep.”

Katie brushed off the twinge of guilt that seemed to ride Marti’s comment and asked, “Where is everyone?”

Marti looked at Katie as if the answer should be obvious to her. “Rick left sometime in the middle of the night. I found a
note from him on the coffee table, apologizing for the inconvenience. We assumed it must have been an emergency with the café.
What a disappointment that he had to leave and ruin this time for the two of you. He really needed to be here to help you
to decide on your new car.”

Katie felt her jaw clench and a wave of sadness tighten her stomach.

“Of course, Bob, Todd, and Christy went to church.” Her tone gave away how much she disapproved of that particular choice.
“Christy said she tried to wake you, but you wouldn’t budge.”

Katie nodded.

“I believe our guestroom is the quietest room in the house. Now that we’ve redecorated it, it is quite an oasis, isn’t it?
Did I show you what we did with our bedroom? I don’t think you were in the house last night when I took Christy and Todd upstairs
to show them. Come with me. I’ll show it to you now.”

In a crazy little way, Katie was glad she was with Aunt Marti. She hadn’t considered the possibility of Rick’s leaving in
the middle of the night, but she didn’t blame him. She knew she would have done the same thing if she were in his position.
Katie also was relieved that no one knew the real reason for Rick’s departure. It was better that way.

Typical Rick Doyle. Manners over mayhem every time. His mother trained him well. I feel like I should call him. What would
I say? No, don’t call yet. It’s better to wait. I shouldn’t call him. We both need space and time so that this can sink in.

Katie followed Marti upstairs to view the redecorated master suite. Marti chattered the whole way, but Katie tuned her out
in favor of giving space for all her morning-after thoughts and feelings.

If no one knows that I broke up with Rick in the middle of the night, I wonder if I can keep a poker face the rest of the
day. I have a car to buy, a paper to write, and a long drive back to school. It would be fantastic if I could press forward
on all this without getting tangled up in my emotions. I did the right thing by breaking up with Rick. I know I did.

Didn’t I?

Oh, this is going to be more difficult than I realized. I didn’t think this through, did I?

I should call him. No. Well, maybe later. On the way home.

Katie entered the master bedroom, which was decorated in an elaborate Mediterranean style with sheer, flowing curtains billowing
in the late-morning breeze. “It’s beautiful, Marti.”

Marti continued the tour, going on in great detail while Katie made appropriate ooh and ahh sounds. Inwardly, Katie was in
another place. A place of wiggly lines. And in that place, she was trying to put together a plan for how the next few days
needed to line up.

She knew Rick and she would end up having a long conversation before the week was over. He was a master of exit interviews
for people who had worked at the Dove’s Nest. He was good about closure and liked checking off unfinished tasks from his continual
lists. While Katie certainly wasn’t a task, she was a big part of his life and had been for a long time. They would need time
for an extensive conversation. Katie wanted a few more days to organize her wiggly lines before that conversation.

Marti invited Katie to join her on the newly expanded deck that extended from the master suite through French doors. Two elaborate
lounge chairs with extra-thick, padded blue cushions awaited them.

“This is one of my favorite spots in the house.” Marti stretched out on one of the loungers. A canvas umbrella in a fixed
stand between the loungers provided shade. Just over the railing of the deck was an expansive view of Newport Beach. The caramel-colored
sand stretched wide and far in both directions, dotted only by strategically placed lifeguard stations and weekend beachgoers.
Beyond the sand, the gray blue ocean spread out like a wrinkled blanket all the way to the horizon. Overhead, the late morning
sun tossed out its golden rays up and down the beach for free.