Come Alive (13 page)

“Relationships also take time.”

“So you just have . . . flings.”

“I generally don’t deny myself a beautiful woman
if she’s offering. If that makes me a player, then I guess that’s what I am.”

I was surprised when an arrow of jealousy shot right
through my heart. Jealousy was the ugly monster that lived in my mother –
up until recently, it was something that I rarely felt. “Does
Dani
know that?” I asked.

“Listen,” he started, “I like her. She’s a
sweetheart. But you don’t need to worry. Lucy has been very persistent in
trying to set us up. Nothing will come of it, though. I’ve told
Dani
so, but she’s stubborn. I think Lucy’s given her this
idea that I want to be tamed, and I just don’t know it.”

My jaw tingled as I clenched it. The thought of
them together crept back into my head. I wasn’t sure I believed him –
after all, it was far from the impression
Dani
had
given us. “Are there others?”

“What?”

“Are you seeing anyone else?”

“Maria.”

Oh, of
course. Maria.
Gorgeous, straight off the catwalk Maria.
Since
the first time I’d seen them together, her image had been seared into my
memory. Maria, mocha-skinned with ribbons of caramel hair, in her siren red
dress; Maria, his go-to girl, the one who was ever-present in his life – available
for events, work functions and
other
things
. .
. .

“Well, obviously there’s Maria,” I said snidely.
“
That
is a given.”

“As my friend, you should be happy that I have someone
who I can call when I’m lonely.”

“As your
friend
,
that isn’t a reason to sleep with someone random.”

“Maria and I have been close for years,” he
argued. “She’s far from random.”

I scowled.

He stopped short in the busy sidewalk, sending pedestrians
scattering around us. “What did you expect, Olivia?” he demanded. “You ran away
and literally left me empty-handed. I didn’t know if I’d ever see you again.”

The world whirred around us, but we stood like
statues, facing each other. “I don’t . . . expect anything. I
do
want you to be happy, but . . .”

I tried to read his expression. His eyes
remained hard until something flashed in them. “Maria,
Dani
– they don’t mean anything. You have to know that I would,” he stopped,
his face darkening. “But when I think about . . . about you and . . . you and
him
– ” He shook his head, and his
jaw hardened noticeably. “I can’t go there.”

I grasped his forearm and dipped my head toward
him, alarmed by the look on his face. “Me and Bill?”

“This isn’t how it’s supposed to be,” he said with
conviction.

It was my first indication that Bill and I
weren’t the only casualties in this unfolding mess. That maybe David was
hurting more than I realized. There was something sinister in his face
;
a tempest brewing inside him. I wanted to reassure him
that I was also scared, that I had a dark place, and I went there too often.

As I looked at him, everything around us fell
away. I had a powerful need to comfort him, to care for him like he was mine to
make happy. I
needed
to tell him what
I’d felt in the house; that my feelings for him might be morphing into
something else, something deeper.

“The house,” I started.

He glanced up and fastened anxious eyes on mine.

“The house – ” I stopped, swallowing
dryly. His entire presence narrowed in on me, intensifying the expression on
his face. “We didn’t get it,” I croaked finally.

He blinked his gaze up over my shoulder and
cleared his throat. His face closed again and after a moment, he pivoted
slightly to resume walking.

“Maybe I was being unrealistic,” I said, shuffling
to catch up with him.

His expression was tight when he looked down at
me. “That place would have been a lot of work,” he said with a hint of
irritation.

“I know, but there was just something about –
”

“I really don’t want to hear about the house,”
he snapped.

“Oh.
All right.” I cleared some hair from my shoulder and made a point to look
forward or at other people for the next few blocks.

It
was dark by the time we approached Michigan Avenue Bridge. I pulled my jacket
closer against the wind as we crossed the Chicago River. He asked if I was
cold, and I said no, because what good would it do to admit that I was? He
couldn’t hold me or give me his blazer, because it was all just too intimate
knowing the things we had done together.

He
stopped in the center of the bridge and motioned back toward the Loop. “Can you
imagine the Great Chicago Fire on your heels, driving you across the river?”

“I
don’t want to.”

“Your
only objective is to get to the other side – but so is everyone else’s.
All those people trying to cross at the same time.
Panic is
a phenomenal thing. You know that it went on for two days?”

“All
because of a stupid cow.”

He
smiled down at me. “Yes,
that stupid cow
.”

It
felt so natural for him to brush his knuckles over my cheek that it happened
before either of us had realized it. It was only a second, and he pulled back
immediately. But it left my skin singing.

“I’m
sorry,” he said.

“You
can’t
do
that,” I said. “You can’t
just do that.”

“I
know. It just happened. I’m sorry.” He left down the other side of the bridge.

But
oh, I wanted it to just happen again. My reprimand was not because I didn’t
want that too, but because I was always on the verge of making a mistake with
him. His touch was intoxicating, burning like wildfire through my body and straight
to my core.

Helplessly,
I followed, unsure of whether or not he wanted me to. When I caught up to him,
I gestured to the right. “I’m going this way.”

“I
didn’t know we had a destination,” he said, turning with me.

“I
promised Lucy I would check on things while they’re away.”

He
slowed to a stop. “And here we are.”

“Here
we are,” I echoed, watching him closely.

He
pulled a hand from his pocket and rubbed his chin, as though debating. He went
to stick his hand back in his pocket but pulled the lobby door open instead. I
looked from him to the door and back.

“I’ll
walk you up.”

There
was no question in his voice, and I didn’t protest. I hid my face from the
doorman as I waved in his direction, and we rode the eight floors up in
silence. I located the keys and turned to him, leaning my back against Lucy and
Andrew’s apartment door. “Thank you. I don’t know why, but I enjoy walking with
you a lot.”

“I know why,” he said.

“Okay,” I prompted, fighting back a smile.

“I’m not telling.”

I arched an eyebrow at him. “Really?”

“I’m omniscient when it comes to these things. A
good guy to have around.”

“It doesn’t do me any good if you withhold your
great knowledge.”

“True,” he said, placing an outstretched hand
against the doorframe. “But I’m withholding it for your own good.”

“Well now you have to tell me.”

“Sorry, honeybee,” he said throatily. “It’s privileged
information.”

“Friends don’t call friends ‘honeybee,’” I
pointed out.

“Sure they do.”

“It’s flirtatious.”

“You can’t possibly think that I don’t flirt
with my female friends.”

“You shouldn’t,” I breathed. “You might give
them the wrong idea.”

“And what idea is that?”

I flushed at the many wrong ideas that occurred
to me.

“It’s okay,” he said when I didn’t respond. “You
don’t have to tell me. I can guess based on your pretty pink cheeks.”

I narrowed my eyes at him, angry that my fair
complexion was giving me away. “Now you’re intentionally misbehaving.”

He laughed wolfishly. “This is not misbehaving.
There’s a whole world of misbehaving that we’re not doing.”

Goddamn if I couldn’t help the way my body
shuddered. “You didn’t answer my earlier question. Why is it like this when
we’re doing something as simple as just walking together?”

His face turned serious. “Are you really prepared
to have this talk?”

I hadn’t realized, but my heart was pounding. I
shifted the keys in my sweaty palm. I knew I should look away, but my eyes
wouldn’t obey. “What talk?”

“You know what talk, Olivia.”

The talk, I guessed, was about us.
About what we were doing.
And about why just taking a walk was
so nice, but also so wrong. He was leaning closer now. His gaze lingered at the
base of my neck, and his tongue flickered over his lips. Just on the other side
of the door was an empty apartment, our own private escape. On the other side
of the door was the potential to make mistakes – over and over again . .
. .
I touched my fingers to the base of my
neck,
sure that he could see my pulse racing.

“Answer me. Are you prepared for what I have to
say?”

“No,” I blurted. “I’m not ready.”

He
pushed off the doorjamb with aplomb. “Well when you are, let me know.”

He
turned and walked back down the hall. I fumbled with the keys, cursing when I
dropped them at my feet. I wanted to call after him, invite him in and drown in
the fantasy of us, just for one night.

Instead,
I entered the apartment before I made an enormous mistake. I slammed the door
shut with both hands, bracing myself against the barrier between us.

CHAPTER 12

LATE SUNDAY MORNING, I slid behind our breakfast bar and grinned
at Bill.

“You’re in a good mood,” he said cautiously.

“I’m going to the shelter.”

“Great, babe, you haven’t been in forever.”

“Come with me.”

“Nah, you go have fun. I should catch up on some
stuff.”

“Come on,” I prodded. “It will be fun. We can
get lunch after.”

“I don’t think so. Sounds nice, but I really
can’t blow this off,” he said, waving an overstuffed folder in my direction.

“But you’ve never even been.”

“Well, that’s because I’m swamped,” he said
angrily. “There are no breaks when it comes to this job. And because of the
fishing trip, I have to get as much done as possible this week.”

“All right.” I held up my palms in defeat and
bent over to lace up my tennis shoes. “I just think you’d enjoy it. You work so
much.”

“So do you.”

“I know,” I called from below. “But I’m going to
try and cut back, now that I’m more settled in this promotion.”

“You know I don’t have that option. The partners
expect us to bust our
asses
.”

I sat back up. “Okay. I get it. I’m going to go
then. Don’t work too hard.”

He kissed my forehead and tossed the folder on
the kitchen table. “I’ll try not to.”

Twenty minutes and five M83 songs later, I had
arrived at my destination. The manager, George, greeted me with a warm smile
and told me they’d missed me the past few months. He set me up with an older
golden Labrador mix, who lovingly nudged me with her snout when I asked if she
was ready for her walk.

Out front, I threw my hair into a quick ponytail
and led her toward the park. I pulled my phone out twice on the way, only to
put it away again. Finally, I took it out a last time and opened the text
message David had sent me the day before.

Sep
15, 2012 3:30 PM

Meet us in the
park tomorrow.

I hadn’t responded, and now I bit my nail
nervously as I stared at it.

Sep
16, 2012 12:22 PM

How was the zoo?

As soon as I had sent it, I cringed. My nerves
flared, knotting my stomach and causing me to pull hard on my earlobe. What was
I thinking? And what if he had brought
Dani
after
all? What if he didn’t want to see me? Why should I care if he did or didn’t?

Sep
16, 2012 12:25 PM

Chaotic. Are you
in LP?

Sep
16, 2012 12:26 PM

Yes.

Sep
16, 2012 12:28 PM

Come to the Lily
Pool, Fullerton entrance.
On my way.

I looked down at the dog. “Don’t judge me,” I
told her.

At the gates to Alfred Caldwell Lily Pool, we
waited. My heart rate accelerated when I saw David in the distance. As soon as
he spotted me, his long legs moved in considerably quicker strides. His muscles
stretched a short-sleeved black t-shirt. I stole a glance at his brawny,
bronzed legs, wondering how he was able to maintain such a stellar tan.

“Hey,” he said, a smile spreading across his
handsome face.

I squinted up and returned his smile. “Hey.”

“Who’s this?”

“
Sofie
from the
shelter.”

“Hello,
Sofie
from the
shelter.” He crouched down and took the dog’s head in his hands, scratching
behind her ears. “Canyon’s with us, they can play.”

“She’s sort of old.”

“Canyon too. Have you been inside?” he asked,
motioning to the Lily Pool.

“No.” I looked at him sheepishly. “I’ve walked
by but never noticed it. I had to look it up on my phone,” I admitted.

He took the leash from me and looped it around
the nearest tree. “Come inside with me.
Sofie’ll
be fine
here for a minute.” With a hand on my shoulder, he guided me through the gates
and into a peaceful, rustic oasis. A sprawling pond was dotted with floating
lily pads and bordered by large stone slabs.

“Wow,” I muttered. “Are we still in Chicago?”

He grinned. “I come here to cool off when I get
pissed.”

The leaves rustled with a breeze, carrying the
soothing water lily scent under our noses. I inhaled a fresh breath of air, and
the wind danced in my hair. I could feel the city fading in the background as
we stood together, soaking in the serenity.

“This reminds me of the house,” I mused aloud.
“The Oak Park house,” I clarified.

“This park was designed in the prairie style,
just like the house – notice the same horizontal lines. Alfred Caldwell was
an architectural landscaper who was influenced by Frank Lloyd Wright. They both
loved nature and knew how to incorporate it to make the space come alive.”

As I had been in the house, I was arrested by
the way he spoke. His love for architecture was inspiring, and I listened
avidly as he recited a quick history of the Lily Pond’s recent restoration.

“A lush, green sanctuary modeled after this
would be perfect in the backyard,” he said as we exited.

“I told you we didn’t get it, though.”

“I meant that it would have been perfect.”

“Oh.” I untied
Sofie
and took off along the path, rapt as David dropped facts here and there about
the park.

“
Liv
!” I heard from
ahead of us.

“I forgot to mention,” David muttered, “your
friend Brian Ayers is here.”

“Why?”

“Sometimes we run Lakefront on the weekends. I
knew he’d be around, so I invited him to eat with us.”

Brian waved at me as he ran over in basketball
shorts and a sleeveless tank. A lock of long blond hair fell into his eyes, and
his toothy grin stretched from ear to ear. “We must stop meeting like this,” he
teased, referring to the first time we’d met. He was dressed exactly the same
as that day, when the shelter dog I’d been walking had knocked me off my feet.
Brian had rushed over to help me up, giving me an adorable smile that only
deepened my embarrassing blush.

“Ah, sure,” I stammered, not ready to admit I’d
been invited.

Brian laid a heavy arm over my shoulders. “Come
on, the grill’s already fired up.”

“Mom, look! A Lab!” A young boy came running
over, and David leaped forward.

“Hang on, buddy,” he said. “What did I tell you
about big dogs? Nice and easy, let her smell you first.”

The boy slowed and held out his hand to
Sofie
. He beamed when she sniffed and licked it.

I identified David’s family immediately from my
brief moment of Internet stalking. David’s sister introduced herself with a
bright smile and a sturdy handshake. I liked her instantly. She looked about my
age, younger than David, but warm brown eyes gave her sharpness away. “Is this
your pup?” she asked.

“No, she’s from a shelter nearby. I volunteer
there some weekends.”

Her smile widened. “I like you already. We’re a
family of animal lovers. Mom,” she called behind her, “come meet a friend of
David’s.”

I looked nervously at David’s retreating figure
as he took
Sofie
over to Canyon. A petite
black-haired woman glided toward us, wiping her hands on the seat of her jeans.
She looked mildly confused, but wrapped me in a tight hug and said, “I’m Judy.”

“Olivia Germaine,” I replied when she’d released
me.

“Gerard, come meet a friend of David’s,” she
called over her shoulder, never taking her eyes off me. I had to stifle a
laugh. I was beginning to feel like I’d just landed in a spaceship.

David’s dad had the same rigid bearing as him,
and he commanded that I sit down at the picnic table in the same tone that
David would have.
Jessa
had a plate of fruit in front
of me in moments, and I didn’t know who I should look at as they all stared at
me.

David appeared suddenly and fell onto the bench
next to me. He handed me a bottle of water. “You should always carry water when
you’re exercising. It’s important to stay hydrated,” he said, his tone edged
with a scolding.

I opened my mouth to thank him when
Jessa
cut in. “So how do you two know each other?” she
asked, looking between us.

“Mutual friend.”

“Work.”

I laughed nervously as David and I exchanged
glances.

“Olivia here was the one who put us in the
Most Eligible
issue,” Brian offered.

“Oh!”
Jessa
exclaimed,
clasping her hands together. “I’m so glad David finally agreed to do it. He
looked so handsome,” she gushed. “You did a wonderful job.”

“I actually didn’t work with David, my colleague
did, but I agree. She did a great job,” I said, clearing my throat
self-consciously.

“I see.”
Jessa
smiled
mischievously.

“David, sweetie, you never said – has
anything come of it?” Judy asked. Her eyes darted conspicuously between him and
me.

“Uh, no, not really.”

“Come on, Fish, we both had a ton of responses,”
Brian volunteered. “Didn’t you take any of them out?”

“No,” David snapped. “I don’t need a magazine
article to find dates.”

“No one said you did,”
Jessa
pointed out. “You’re being rude.”

By now, I was sure that I was beet red. “It’s
okay. David was candid about what he expected from the article. My boss was
more than pleased to feature him anyway.”

David gave me an apologetic look as his parents
excused themselves to check on the grill. I watched Judy loop her arm around Gerard’s
lower back, and he gave her an adoring smile. It had been some time since I’d
seen any of my friends’ parents looking so smitten; even at Lucy’s wedding, her
normally affectionate parents had seemed frazzled.

“So was it intentional that the issue came out
on David’s birthday?”
Jessa
teased.

“Come on,” he said, rolling his eyes.

“No.” I broke into a smile. “I had no idea.”

Jessa
nodded her
head emphatically. “June twenty-second. What’s your sign, Olivia?”

“
Jessa
,” David warned.

“I’m a Taurus. May twentieth.”

“Oh.” She was quiet for a moment. “That’s interesting.”

“How come?”

“Don’t ask,” David said. “She’s into this
astrology bullshit.”

“David is a Cancer.”

“Like my friend Gretchen,” I said.

Brian laughed to himself. “That explains a lot,”
he muttered with his chin in his hand.

“Brian, did something happen between you and
Gretchen?” I asked.

“Oh.” He looked up. “No, nothing at all.”

“Are you sure?”

“Are you asking me to kiss and tell, missy?”

“So there was a kiss?” I exclaimed.

He looked embarrassed. “It was very brief. I
stopped it.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Why? Don’t you find her
attractive?”

“Exceptionally. We aren’t
well-suited
though. She seems to have something to prove. And that’s not me.”

I shrugged at his cryptic answer and turned my
attention back to
Jessa
. “So why is it interesting
that I’m a Taurus?”

“It’s not that,” she mused, touching a finger to
her lips. “Both you and David are on the cusp of your signs. In fact, you’re
both on the cusp of Gemini.”

“Is being on the cusp bad?” I asked.

“No, no. But two Gemini together can be, well,
explosive. Volatile. Not usually a good combination. On the other hand, Cancer
and Taurus is a great match.”

“Oh.” I smiled at her before glancing over at
David. “Well, we’re not . . .”

She raised her eyebrows at me. “You’re
not
?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head in confusion. I
looked to David for backup, but he was stoic as he stared at his sister. “I’m
married,” I said, holding up my hand. All four pairs of eyes dropped to my ring,
and her face fell instantly.

“Oh,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry, I just
assumed . . . Crap, I’m really sorry.”