Colorado Connection (Colorado Heart Book 6) (12 page)

Chapter Fourteen

Matthew followed the instructions relayed to him. He drove to the small office building on the outskirts of Alexandria, Virginia, parking where they’d told him to leave his car. The office was quiet when he went in, with only a receptionist in the center of the lobby. He stepped up to the desk and waited to be acknowledged. The man hung up the phone and smiled at him.

“I’ll need the keys to your car.”

Matthew thought about saying no and walking out the door, but he nodded and handed over his keys. He said nothing and stayed still, waiting for his next order. The man behind the desk stood, and a door to his right opened. A guy stepped out and took the keys, while the receptionist indicated Matthew should follow him. Matthew didn’t look back to see what the guy who had his keys was doing. Instead, he followed the receptionist down a long hall to a back loading area where a white panel van sat waiting. The back of the van had no windows, and a thick curtain blocked his view out the front. He got in, not questioning anything. If this made it to where he could be with Jazz, then it was worth whatever they asked him to do.

They drove for a short while and he wasn’t sure how far they’d gone or if they’d just driven in circles. When the door opened, he stepped out without asking any questions.

He was led to a small room with a bed and an upright dresser. There were clothes, but no variety in the uniform. White T-shirts, dark-blue pants, boxers for underwear, white socks, grey sweats, and red pajamas for sleeping sat in the dresser. He opened the closet to find two pair of shoes in his size. He showered quickly in the attached bathroom and lay down on the mattress, drifting off to sleep eventually.

The next morning, he woke to an alarm he hadn’t set, but it was obvious what he wanted wasn’t important. Breakfast was served, followed by physical conditioning. There were thirty other men at the training facility, but he wasn’t positive all of them lived in the same housing as he was in. After more physical activity, they were given lunch. The physical training continued, focusing on hand-to-hand combat in the hours between lunch and dinner. After they'd had their evening meal, it was time for training videos. Sometime after the sun went down, he fell into bed exhausted. The next day was similar to the first but included harder physical tasks.

Matthew did as he was told those first few days, never questioning anything. The training was similar to what he’d endured with the Marines, so though it was challenging, it wasn’t impossible for him. On the fourth day they began the classroom experience, and he was expected to express himself. Questions about right and wrong were asked, and he had to state how he felt about certain situations.

If he were really trying to get a job with a certain branch of government, he would have overthought the questions, but he would get what he wanted at the end of this experience no matter how he answered. He decided being truthful was more important than giving them what they wanted to hear or what he thought they wanted to hear. At one point, he got into an argument with the instructor over how to handle a building raid scenario. For a brief moment, he feared getting in trouble, but he didn’t really care if they liked his answers or not.

At least in the classroom environment, he was learning things he’d not really known prior to coming to training. He seemed to have an aptitude for picking locks, which he’d never done before, and explosives, which were actually more interesting than he’d thought they would be. Then there were the classes where he was learning how to pilot a helicopter. Thoughts of Jazz were never far from his mind, and he wished he already had contact with his lover, but he would have to wait until the month was over.

Chapter Fifteen

Marshal felt like he was getting Zander back and then something would happen, causing Zander to close up on himself. Marshal would spend hours trying to repair the damage, and even then, he could hardly induce Zander to talk. The Friday after Zander came home, the guys planned a movie night. Excited about spending the evening with Zander and the guys, Marshal helped set up, hoping the fun stuff would make a difference in Zander’s recovery. Maybe it was bad planning, or gross stupidity, but two minutes into the action-adventure flick Zander was shaking so violently Marshal had to scoop him up and carry him out of the room.

Grant shut the movie off and offered an apology, but Zander barely acknowledged Grant and didn’t look at anyone else. The next morning, everyone seemed off, with Billy and Tucker getting into an argument almost seconds after waking. The entire ranch was turned upside down, and Marshal didn’t know how to fix it.

Marshal hated the way Zander flinched at every noise. How could he help his man if he had no clue what to do? He figured patience would make their lives better, but another seven days passed, and Zander was still the same. Tensions were riding high among the other men, and he felt like another fight would start at any moment.

Hope faded each day, and Marshal felt like he was losing his mind. A storm rolled in around midnight, and he woke to find the spot where Zander normally slept cold. Marshal jumped up, racing to the bathroom, finding it empty. He ran out to the hall, his heart hammering as he searched for his lover. Darkness blanketed the house as he raced to the den and then to the movie room. He couldn’t find Zander anywhere.

After searching in the control room, Marshal headed into the kitchen, wondering where the hell his man was. Lightning flashed and he saw a figure on the porch. Zander was outside in the rain.

Marshal opened the door, ready to yell at his lover for scaring him, but he paused, deciding not to say anything. Instead, he walked over to where Zander sat and knelt in front of him. The wind drove the rain sideways, blowing it on both he and Zander, soaking them. Zander was shivering but otherwise he wasn’t moving.

Marshal reached up and placed his hand on Zander’s knee, squeezing gently. Zander looked down, sadness filling his eyes. Marshal half-thought his guy was crying but he wasn’t positive.

“Hey, want to come in?” Marshal asked.

Zander shook his head and pointed to the mountain. “I just need to see it to believe I’m here.”

“Babe, I was in bed with you, didn’t you know I was there?”

Zander blew out a breath, and Marshal moved to sit beside him, pulling Zander onto his lap.

“I can’t tell. When I was in that nasty place, my mind filled with pain, I swore you were with me then. Figuring out truth from dreams is hard. I need to see the mountain.”

“Zander, I’m real. I swear I am and I’m not leaving you.”

“I don’t think I could survive if we moved from here. I need to see the mountain to know what is real.”

“Okay, we won’t leave, but right now I need you to come inside with me. It’s too cold and wet out here.”

Zander stood but nearly collapsed as he took his first step. Marshal bent and picked him up, ignoring the pain in his arm from his old injuries that had flared up from the change in weather. He carried Zander to their bedroom, his body responding to Zander being so close. They’d not had sex since Zander had returned, though he’d wanted to. But it was unrealistic to think Zander could pick up where they’d left off, even if Marshal needed to feel his man. He’d held Zander, kissed him, but nothing more.

As he placed Zander on the mattress, things were different. Marshal didn’t pull away, and Zander didn’t turn over. He knelt beside Zander and lowered, slowly brushing his lips over Zander’s. Desire shot straight through him to his dick. He moaned and settled on the mattress beside Zander, brushing his hand down Zander’s chest to his waist. Zander no longer flinched from every touch. The bruises were fading, the pain lessening. His man’s body was healing, but Marshal knew his mind was still fractured.

The groan from Zander made him harder and he deepened the kiss. For the first time since he’d come home, Zander responded and tugged Marshal closer. He lifted up, smiling at Zander’s complaints.

“I need to get us out of these cold, wet clothes. Then I’ll get back to you.”

Zander helped by tugging his shirt over his head. Marshal stopped what he was doing to lower and lick Zander’s nipples. That earned him a quick tug to his hair followed by a lip smashing kiss.

“Pants,” Marshal said. He tugged off his own sweats then pulled off the shorts Zander wore, running his hands over Zander’s legs up to his hips. “Are you really okay with this?”

Zander nodded then reached for Marshal. “Yeah, I need to feel you.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“My ribs are still a little sore, but I think we can manage.”

Marshal’s lips curved up in a smile and he nodded. “Oh yes, we can manage.” He bent low, trailing gentle kisses over Zander’s chest up to his neck. “I missed you so much.”

Zander’s fingers twisted in Marshal’s hair as he pulled him closer. Their bodies touched, and Zander shivered. Marshal rocked his hips, brushing up against Zander again, causing him to moan.

“Keep kissing me,” Zander whispered.

Marshal brushed his lips over Zander’s collarbone to his shoulders then back to his neck. He kissed Zander’s cheeks and his forehead before Marshal’s lips met Zander’s in an amazing kiss, leaving them both breathless. Zander rocked against him, and Marshal reached down, running his fingers over Zander’s cock before he wrapped his hand around the shaft.

“I missed this. I missed you. I missed all of you, your smile, your laugh. I missed the way you talk to me. Fuck, Zander, I really thought you were dead, and now you’re in my arms, and I’ll never forgive myself for not being there. How could I not be there when you were hurting?” Tears filled Marshal’s eyes and he sucked in a breath, trying to not totally lose all control.

Zander shook his head. “I was so scared.”

“I swear, I’ll never let you out of my sight again.”

“That’s not realistic. I just… I need time.”

“I love you. God, Zander, I fucking love you so much.”

“I need you.”

“Lay down and let me ride you.” Marshal bent low and kissed Zander, sucking on his lower lip before sitting back and reaching for a condom and lube. He spread lube over his ass and rolled the condom onto Zander. Their gazes met, and he felt like his heart ripped in two. He leaned up on his elbows, his face close to Zander’s. There were tears turning Zander’s eyes bright and Marshal’s tears weren’t going away.

“Marshal…” Zander cupped Marshal’s cheeks and shook his head. “I can’t believe I’m really here in your arms.”

Marshal knew his nose was going to start running. This wasn’t going to be pretty sex. He wasn’t going to come out the other side looking great but he had to say something so Zander would understand how deep his feelings were.

“From the moment we met, Zander, I started falling in love with you. Second by second, minute by minute, bit-by-bit, until I couldn’t tell where I ended and you began. This is it for me. You’re it. I can’t live without you.” A sob ripped through him as he brushed a kiss over Zander’s lips. “Don’t leave me. Please, babe, don’t ever leave me.”

“I could never leave you,” Zander sobbed.

Zander grabbed his hair and pulled him down for a possessive kiss. Their tongues twined together, stroking, licking, teeth gnashing, passion riding high. He reached back, Zander clinging to him as he lined up and lowered, Zander’s cock slipping in. They both moaned, pleasure spiking through him.

He gentled Zander to the mattress and sat up, propping himself up on his hands, rocking slowly as he fucked himself on Zander’s cock. The physical sensation was amazing, but the emotional connection took him so much deeper. He stared into Zander’s blue eyes, getting lost in their depths. Understanding, love, emotions—call it what you will—flowed between them.

Zander reached up and tugged him down for a kiss. It was awkward, but being with Zander, loving him, was worth any discomfort. The kiss ended, and he lifted up on his elbows, still staring down into Zander’s eyes.

“I will always love you, Marsh.” Zander arched up fast, slamming his cock in.

Marshal gasped, arching back and getting the full effect of Zander’s cock massaging his gland. Zander’s fingers on his dick, touching, stroking, teasing was enough to push him over the edge.

His fists were on the mattress, his face over Zander’s, when he finally opened his eyes. Zander had come, and he’d missed it. Later, he’d need to see Zander coming, his face twisted in passion.

They stared at each other for a long moment before Zander slipped out and he rolled to his side, settling on the mattress, brushing a gentle kiss over Zander’s lips. He hopped up, removing the condom from his lover and tossing it in the bathroom trash. He came back to the bed and found Zander snoring. He smiled to himself, wiped his cum off Zander’s belly, and slid into bed beside his man.

Zander snuggled close after he pulled the covers up over them. Marshal sighed, happy that they were back together. Love was a funny thing. His heart squeezed, and he couldn’t help but hold his man closer. Zander grunted in his sleep, and Marshal loosened his hold. They were back together, and he knew it was real, but he couldn’t really comprehend how he’d gone from so desperate to so happy. There were still touches of fear and loss that swirled around him, muddying his mind, but they were less now.

The times he forgot Zander was home and he wasn’t alone, his soul ached. Then he’d wake up, see his lover, and something so amazing would rip through him he didn’t know if he could contain his excitement. He figured that was pure love.

The moon was full and he could see Zander fairly well from the light streaming in. He would have ended it all if Zander hadn’t come back. It scared him how close he’d been to taking his own life. Zander had meant the world to him, and he’d almost lost everything. Marshal drew in a quick breath, catching Zander’s scent. Tears filled his eyes, and he cried quietly, knowing if he’d walked off into the wilderness, he never would have known Zander was still alive and had come home to him.