Colorado 01 The Gamble (56 page)

I found the coffee, took down the canister
and yanked out the pot from the coffeemaker.

“Not really,” I replied.

Max got close as I filled the pot. “Don’t
know ‘bout this shit but I’m guessin’ now’s a sensitive time.”

I pressed my lips together and turned off
the faucet.

Yesterday, according to Max, I had this.
Yesterday, he trusted everything I did with Mindy. Yesterday, he
let me take care of everything.

Today, or, I should say
now
, after
whatever happened, he wasn’t so sure.

“I figure what I have planned might not help
but it won’t hurt,” I told the coffeemaker as I poured the water
in.

“
Nina, look at –” Max started,
not
calling me “babe”, “honey”,
“darlin’”, “baby” or “Duchess” but “Nina”.

He didn’t finish because my Mom was
there.

“Max, sweetie, there’s a lady in a
wheelchair outside who needs your assistance.”

I was measuring coffee into the filter but I
felt Max’s hesitation like it was physical then I felt him leaving
the same way.

Mom got close. “Did you learn what’s going
on?”

I had told her my plan for Mindy over the
phone and I’d also filled her in a bit about the reading. I hadn’t
explained that Max couldn’t afford to keep the land he was given
just that he was given it. I had told her about the letters but, as
I didn’t know what was in them, I couldn’t give her that
knowledge.

“No,” I answered.

“He’s not himself,” Mom observed with what
had to be her keen mother’s sense since she’d been in his presence
approximately twenty seconds and she’d known him less than two
days.

Still, she could say that again.

“Hey,” we both heard as I flipped the switch
to the coffee and we both turned to see Mindy in the doorway.

She looked a little pale, she definitely
looked listless but other than that, she looked like Mindy.

“Hi there, my lovely,” I said to her, moved
across the room, took her in my arms, gave her tight hug and, I was
pleased to note, she hugged me back.

I pulled away slightly, gave her a smile and
told her, “It’s already afternoon and I’ve not witnessed any
brawls. Slow day.”

Her head tilted to the side and her lips
twitched before she said, “Well, I gotta be with you. I don’t see
any brawls either unless you’re there.”

My hands gave her upper arms a squeeze as my
heart was processing her lip twitch hopefully. “Yes, I forgot about
that.”

“Max had a showdown with Nina’s ex-fiancé in
the hotel restaurant this morning, though, alas, no punches were
thrown,” Mom informed Mindy, pushing into my space, giving her a
hug and kissing her cheek before pulling back.

Mindy looked from Mom to me and asked, “No
joke? You’re fiancé’s here?”

“Unfortunately, yes,” I answered.

“Ex,” Mom put in firmly, “ex-fiancé.”

Mindy gave Mom another lip twitch before
looking at me and asking, “Why’s he here?”

“Because he’s a jerk, like my Dad, who’s
also a jerk.”

“I thought you said he was –” Mindy
started.

“I was wrong,” I told her. “During the
showdown he exposed his true self and let’s just say I won’t be
tearing up over pizza the next time we go out,” I explained.

“Bitsy’s here,” Barb called from the doorway
before Mindy could reply and I looked at Mom then at Mindy.

“Bitsy?” Mindy asked, now looking
confused.

“Mindy, can you trust me for about fifteen
minutes?” I enquired and watched her body lock, panic filled her
face and I thought for a second she would flee.

Then, seeming to struggle to push it back,
she nodded and whispered, “I trust you all the time, Neens.”

I pressed my lips together and swallowed the
lump that formed in my throat as my eyes slid to my Mom who was
smiling a gentle smile at me. This smile from Mom, as it always did
my whole life, gave me strength. This was good. I needed it because
I was scared to death my plan was going to go south.

Then I took Mindy’s hand and gave it a
squeeze. “Let’s go into the living room.”

I led her by the hand into the living room,
Mom and Barb following. Bitsy was sitting in her chair by the couch
and she looked run through the mill but when her eyes hit Mindy,
her torso straightened and her gaze grew alert.

“What’s up?” she asked me but didn’t look
away from Mindy. “You said on the message you needed me here but
you didn’t say why. Is everything okay?”

“No,” I replied honestly, Bitsy’s eyes grew
wide and they instantly flew to Max who was standing just inside
the room by Steve, Brody and some other person, a man I didn’t
know.

I thought Bitsy looking at Max was telling.
I shoved that back, focused and guided Mindy to the couch where we
sat, me at her left side.

“Bitsy, can you get close, please, right up
here, in front of Mindy?” I called as Mom sat down on Mindy’s right
side.

Bitsy wheeled forward and got close to
Mindy’s front as Mindy looked between the lot of us.

I looked at Bitsy and stated softly, “I know
you’ve had a tough day, a tough week and I wish I had time to
explain what was happening here so you wouldn’t be blind-sighted by
this. But I didn’t and now, I need you. This is going to be hard,
but, will you trust me?”

Her eyes were moving between Mindy, Mom and
me and then she looked at me and nodded.

“Can you take just a little bit more?” I
prompted when Bitsy didn’t answer.

“I… I think so,” Bitsy answered.

“Neens, what’s this –” Mindy started but I
talked over her, keeping my gaze steady on Bitsy.

“Bitsy, yesterday, Mindy tried to commit
suicide,” I announced.

Bitsy gasped and jolted back in her chair.
Mindy tensed and then started to stand up but I grabbed her hand on
one side and Mom grabbed the other side, holding her down.

I turned to Mindy and put a hand to her
knee. “Yesterday, darling, yesterday you said you didn’t want
anyone to know. And, I promise you, in anything else,
anything
else, I would respect your
wishes.” I lifted my hand from her thigh, cupped her cheek and
whispered, “Not this. This is too important.”

“Neens, I can’t do this,” Mindy whispered
back, tears filling her eyes, fear stark on her face and my courage
took a direct hit but I forged onward.

“Oh yes you can, sweetheart, you can because
you’ve got strong women all around you and we’re going to help you
do this,” I told her and the tears slid down her cheeks. “You know
I was beaten by my boyfriend. You know that Bitsy’s legs were taken
away and all that happened to her recently. What you don’t know is
that my Dad cheated on my Mom while she was pregnant with me and
left her without looking back at either of us for seven years.
She’s now married to the love of her life and happy as a clam.”

“Neens –” Mindy whispered on a ragged
breath.

“What I’m saying is, life socks it to us and
we survive.”

“Neens –”

“We fight.”

She shook her head and the tears continued
to fall.

“And when we can’t fight, we learn to turn
to others who’ve learned life’s lessons, who’ve survived, who’ll
gather close and help us make it through.”

She kept shaking her head and tried to pull
away but I dropped her hand and grabbed her face with both of
mine.

My voice was fierce when I said, “Mins, we
don’t give up.”

I heard crying, Mindy’s and others, maybe
Barb, but I kept my eyes glued to Mindy.

“We never give up.”

“Neens –”

I interrupted again and said, “You’re
loved.”

“I know,” she whispered, her face blanching
at the same time it flinched, what she did to those who cared about
her the day before scored into her features.

“No one is angry at you,” I assured her. “We
all understand.”

She shook her head. “No you don’t.”

“
Oh yes, darling, we do. And we hurt
for
you and that’s a beautiful
thing.”

“It isn’t.”

“
It
is
. To
be that loved, Mindy, it’s beautiful.”

She closed her eyes tight and then opened
them.

“You’re strong.” It was an accusation.

“I’m not. What I am is someone who has a
great Mom, I had a wonderful brother and I have a lot of good
friends who helped me through. They taught me things along the way,
filled me up with something that I could keep with me and I didn’t
know what it was, not until now. I didn’t know they were filling me
with something I could give away when it was my time to give.
Something that I’m giving now, to you.”

She bit her lip and swallowed before
whispering, “I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“Of course not, you were violated,” I
whispered back. “What happened to you was hideous.”

“I’m weak.”

I pulled her face close to mine as I leaned
in and rested my forehead to hers. “Then promise to find help to
get strong.”

“I can’t get clean.”

“That’s because you’re polishing a diamond.
How much more brilliant do you want it to shine, my lovely?”

Her body jerked so violently, her head came
away from my hands.

“Mindy,” Bitsy called, I dropped my hands
and Mindy struggled but she looked at Bitsy who lifted her arms
toward the younger girl. “Come here, baby, I need you to listen to
me now.” Mindy shook her head, Bitsy leaned forward and urged,
“Please, give me your hands.”

“I can’t,” Mindy sobbed.

Bitsy leaned forward further and took
Mindy’s hands. Lifting them up between them, she shook them
hard.

“After this happened to me, I thought about
suicide,” Bitsy shared and Mindy hiccoughed a loud sob and tried to
pull away but Bitsy held on tight. “I did, so many times, God, so
many.”

“I can’t do this,” Mindy moaned.

“I wish someone like Nina knew,” Bitsy
talked over her. “I wish I had this kind of support around me. I
had to fight back the urge on my own,” Bitsy said. “I never told
anyone, until I told Nina the other day. I don’t know how I made
it.”

“You… you…” Mindy stuttered.

“I fought it back. Sometimes I didn’t know
why, what was the point? But I did it and I’m glad I did.”

“Wh… why?” Mindy asked.

“Because I have nieces now and they’re the
loves of my lives. Because, no matter what people think, I had more
time with Curt and he was good to me, he made me laugh. Because I
got to watch you grow up and grow beautiful.” Mindy shook her head
and tried to pull her hands away again but Bitsy held tight. “This
kind of thing happens to you, one thing I learned is that you have
to give away some of the pain. You can’t carry it all with
you.”

“I… I’ve tried, with Becca, I don’t know how
to let it go,” Mindy told Bitsy.

“It’s easy, you just give it away,” Bitsy
explained.

“I –”

“Give me your pain, Mins,” Bitsy ordered
gently.

Mindy shook her head and pulled at her hands
again.

“Give it,” Bitsy urged and the tears kept
falling but Mindy just stared at Bitsy until Bitsy leaned in even
closer and whispered, “Give it to me, honey.”

Bitsy and Mindy looked into each other’s
eyes for long moments while I held my breath. Then suddenly Mindy
fell to her knees in front of Bitsy’s chair, shoved her cheek to
Bitsy’s belly, wrapped her arms around Bitsy’s waist and burst into
loud body-rocking tears.

Bitsy stroked Mindy’s hair with one hand,
her back with the other and she curled around Mindy protectively
while she did this.

I felt Mom’s fingers take mine.

“That’s it, beautiful, let it out,” Bitsy
cooed and Mindy cried louder.

“Coffee now,” Mom murmured, getting up and
pulling me with her.

“Mom, we can’t –”

Mom’s hand tightened in mine and I looked at
her. “Coffee.”

I nodded, she let my hand go and rounded
Bitsy’s chair to me, her arm coming around my waist as she led me
toward the kitchen. I saw Brody holding his weeping Mom, Steve was
moving toward us, the other person had disappeared but Max was
watching Bitsy and Mindy.

“They need some time,” Mom stated to the
gathering and kept moving me toward the kitchen.

Steve followed closely, Barb and Brody after
Steve and Steve had pulled me into one of his hugs when Max
arrived.

Mom searched through the cupboards to find
cups. I pressed my cheek into Steve’s chest and avoided Max’s
eyes.

“Steve and I did some searching,” Mom said
softly to Barb and Brody. “There’s a rape crisis center a couple of
towns over. We contacted them, they said they do callouts and
they’re waiting for you to phone.” When Barb nor Brody said
anything, Mom went on, “Now’s the time to call, to get her some
help. I know it goes against the grain to push her after yesterday
but it’s the right thing to do.”

“She didn’t call when we asked her to call
them before,” Barb whispered.

Mom set the last cup on the counter, got
close to Barb and took her hand.

“
Then
make
her,” Mom whispered, “or, better yet, do it for
her.”

Barb looked in Mom’s eyes, anxiety,
uncertainty and fear in her own then slowly she nodded.

Mom looked to Steve. “Darling, will you give
me that number we wrote down?” Steve pulled it out of his pocket,
gave it to Mom and Mom asked Steve as she led Barb away, “Can you
finish the coffees?”

Steve nodded, let me go and moved to the
coffeepot.

I stood swaying, hoping that my gamble would
pay off and also hoping that Max would take over for Steve.

He didn’t. Instead, to my surprise, Brody
came close, grabbed my hand and walked me to the kitchen table. He
sat in a chair and I stood uncertain in front of him with my hand
in his. Then he tugged my hand so hard my arm jerked in its socket
and with a soft gasp I went down into his lap where both his arms
came around me in an embrace so tight it forced the breath right
out of me. His face went into my neck, my body stiffened in his
arms and my eyes flew to Max who was staring at us with a muscle
jerking in his jaw.