Colorado 01 The Gamble (42 page)

“
They’re hanging them today. My husband
is
helping,
” Mom
shared, sounding embarrassingly like a sycophant and Cotton’s brows
knit together.

“What’s takin’ so long?” Cotton asked
me.

“We’ve been, um… kind of busy,” I explained
and he grinned.

“Neckin’?” Cotton enquired cheekily.

I shook my head and hoped it didn’t look
like an “I wish” shake.

“
Taking Bitsy to the Police Station and
dealing with surprise visits from my Dad, yesterday, and Mom,
today.” I gestured to Mom. “Then my car got vandalized, we think by
Damon.” I pointed to the car and Cotton slowly turned to look at it
then back to me as I continued. “And Brody’s in town so we had
dinner with him and Mindy last night. Dinner included our table
being visited by an unhappy Kami, a not-so-nice Shauna and then
Harry wrestled around on the floor of The Rooster with Shauna’s
date, turning over some tables and getting doused with ketchup and
horseradish sauce.” Cotton stared at me speechless so I finished.
“In between that we slept and, yes, there was some
necking.”

“Nina gave me the lowdown a minute go,” Mom
told him. “It would seem that Gnaw Bone is the Rocky Mountain
Peyton Place.”

“Got that right,” Cotton replied and then
turned to look over his shoulder.

I looked too and saw the Cherokee heading up
the road. Then I felt my heart skip and I didn’t think this was
because I was worried about the outcome of the confrontation with
Dad. It was more likely because I was happy Max was home.

“Seein’ as I’m here,” Cotton said as he
turned back to me, “I’ll supervise the hangin’ and bum a cup o’
joe.”

I smiled and replied, “You’re in luck; we
just made a fresh pot.”

“I’m a lucky guy,” Cotton said back on a
smile and we all watched Max turn up the lane and park.

My eyes stayed on him as he got out of the
Cherokee and one look at his face, my body tensed.

“Oh my,” Mom mumbled.

She could say that again. Max
looked
angry.

Max hit the top of the steps at the same
time an equally unhappy looking Steve made it to the foot.

Then Max’s eyes came to me and without
greeting Cotton he told me the outcome of the confrontation.

“Babe, your Dad’s a dick.”

“Oh dear,” Mom was still mumbling.

“What happened?” I asked.

“Your Dad?” Max asked back. “Definitely
jetlagged yesterday. You’re right. He’d wipe the floor with Kami at
the same time takin’ on Shauna.”

“That doesn’t sound good,” I noted.

“It wasn’t,” Steve, who had arrived at our
group, put in.

“What happened?” Mom asked.

“Bottom line, he ain’t leavin’ mainly
because Niles arrives tonight and they want Nina to ‘appear’,
Lawrence’s word, at breakfast at the hotel tomorrow morning,” Steve
explained and my eyes locked on Max as my heart skipped a beat and
this one wasn’t happy.

“What?” I whispered.

Max got close and his hands came to either
side of my neck. “You ain’t goin’.”

“But –”

“Fuck ‘em, playin’ these games with your
head.”

“Max.”

“Nina, they can want whatever the fuck they
want, that doesn’t mean you have to do it.”

I shook my head, short, dazed shakes and
then it hit me.

So I said, “I’ll go.”

Max’s brows drew together dangerously and he
asked, “What?”

“I’ll go.”

His hands tightened on my neck and I felt
his body tighten with them. “Why?”

“Because, it’s the right thing to do.”

“Nina –”

“
No, Max,” I cut him off, hooking my thumbs
in his belt loops at the sides of his jeans and I explained, “You
don’t break up with someone over e-mail or over the phone. You do
it face to face. No matter what you may think, Niles isn’t a jerk,
he never hurt me, lied to me, cheated on me,
hit me
. He deserves me breaking up with him face to
face.”

“Your father’s pretty convinced he and Niles
can talk you into changing your mind,” Max informed me.

“Well, they’re wrong.”

“Duchess –”

I interrupted him, this time by leaning into
him and I said softly, “Max, they won’t because you’ll be there
with me.” His body jerked with surprise as his head tilted to the
side. “And Mom,” I went on. “And Steve. You’ll all take care of
me.” I leaned in closer and promised, “It’ll be okay.”

His fingers at my neck tightened again and
he whispered, “Baby.”

“You’ve done a lot for me but can I ask you
to do this too?”

Max’s eyes held mine for a long moment
before he replied softly, “Wouldn’t want it any other way.”

This was what he said, what he
meant
was he wouldn’t
allow
it to happen any other way. I
knew that, he knew it too but it was nice the way he said
it.

And there it was again. Now
I
was inviting Max’s deeper
involvement in my life. What was wrong with me?

“What’s all this?” Cotton asked and Mom
moved toward him, deciding she would stop fawning and start
flirting (innocently, which was Mom’s way and Steve thought it was
annoyingly hilarious or hilariously annoying, I couldn’t ever tell
which) and hooked her arm through his.

“
Coffee first, you need
at least
coffee before any conversation commences
about Lawrence Sheridan,” Mom told him.

They started walking to the front door,
everyone moving in that direction, when Max’s head turned toward
the road then everyone’s heads turned to the road. This was because
three cars were speeding up it.

I stared at the racing convoy. Brody’s
Subaru, followed by Becca’s sporty, red, mini-SUV and trailing was
a police SUV.

“What now?” Max muttered as he slung an arm
around my shoulders and headed us both down the steps. For my part,
without much choice, I wrapped my arm around his waist and hooked
my thumb in his side belt loop.

Brody stopped his Subaru on a spray of
gravel and was out of it practically before it came completely
halted.

“You ain’t answerin’ your cell and your
line’s fuckin’ engaged,” he accused Max the instant he cleared the
door.

“What –?” Max started but Brody interrupted
him.

“You seen Mindy?” he asked, his eyes were
locked on Max but I felt something grip my insides, something
vicious.

“No, why?” Max answered, I heard his tone
had an edge and watched Becca pull in behind Brody’s Subaru.

“She call?” Brody went on. He’d walked
swiftly and come to a stop in front of Max and me. His face was a
stony mask of worry.

“No, Brody, what’s happening?” Max replied.
His body had gone tight and alert at my side.

“You?” Brody turned to me. “See or hear from
her?”

I shook my head and said, “No.”

“Jesus, Brody, what the fuck’s happening?”
Max asked, his voice getting hard, not with anger, with what I saw
in Brody’s face.

Brody reached behind him and pulled a folded
piece of paper out of the back pocket of his jeans as Becca made it
to us and Jeff was jogging up.

“Slipped that under the door to her
apartment while I was out this mornin’,” Brody told Max as he
handed him the paper.

But I was staring at Becca’s face and Becca
was staring at the paper like it was going to grow claws and strike
out at her and that grip on my insides not only tightened, it
twisted.

I forced my eyes away from Becca, looked
down at the paper in Max’s hand and read.

Brody,

I know what you’re going to think but you
don’t know.

I can’t get clean.

And I need to get clean.

Every time I think I can go back to who I
was before, I think I can forget, I think I can go forward, it
fills my head and I remember how dirty I am.

I need to get clean.

And I know how.

After last night, I know I can do it. I’ve
been thinking about it and no time seemed to be the right time but
I know I can do it now.

You told me you were happy in your job, you
love Seattle and Mom and Dad are moving to Arizona and they’ve
wanted to do that for so long. And Max found Nina and she’s sweet
and they’re happy together. So I can do it now, everyone I love is
happy. I know now it’s all good.

We had such a great night last night, the
perfect ending, now I can go.

Tell Becca not to be mad at me and tell her
I listened all those times we talked but she doesn’t get it either.
She doesn’t understand what it feels like to wash and wash and wash
and never feel clean.

So I’m going to the only place that can make
me clean, crystal clear, fresh and clean.

You don’t be mad at me either, Brody. Please
try to understand.

Tell Mom and Dad, Max and Becca I love them,
okay?

And I love you too.

xoxo Mins

“
It’s a suicide note,” Becca whispered but
I knew that. I knew it. I knew it reading it and I knew it because
I’d stopped breathing and I knew it because I’d read one before and
I
knew it because that
grip on my insides felt like a vice and I felt that before too.
“She talked about it to me, I asked her to go see someone.” Becca’s
voice dropped to nearly nothing. “She promised she
would.”

“We got boys high and low lookin’ for her,”
Jeff put in and his voice sounded tight.

I felt Mom, Steve and Cotton had gotten
close but they stayed quiet, correctly reading the atmosphere.

I didn’t look at anyone. I was simply
staring at the note still held up in Max’s hand.

“Fuck!” Brody hissed. “She was okay last
night, laughin’, eatin’, drinkin’ –”

“Crystal clear and fresh,” I whispered,
cutting Brody off.

“What?” Max asked and I watched the note
disappear as his hand dropped away and his body turned to me as his
arm curled me to his front.

I looked up into Max’s handsome face wearing
a replica of Brody’s stony concern. “Crystal clear and fresh,” I
repeated. “She said that to me when I was giving her a facial. She
used those words to describe someplace she really likes, someplace
on the river. She said the water was always clear there, you could
always see right down to the bottom. Crystal clear and –”

“Holling’s Bend,” Max said, his neck
twisting to look at Brody and then he suddenly let me go and he was
running.

Not thinking, I ran with him, Brody did too,
around the house and up the incline toward the barn.

Brody was yelling as he ran. “Jeff, take the
road, scan the river as you go!”

They pulled ahead and I watched Max yank
open the barn door on a mighty heave and disappear inside. I ran
into the cold darkness to see him squatting in front of an open
cupboard door. He twisted a knob on a safe, pulled it open and I
saw some keys hanging inside. He grabbed a set, turned and tossed
them to Brody. Brody caught them and ran to an ATV. Max grabbed
another set and ran to the other ATV.

He got on and, as he was slipping the key
into the ignition, I climbed on behind him.

He twisted and clipped, “Nina.”

“
Go!” I yelled. “Go, go,
go!
”

He delayed no further, twisted back, started
the ATV, turned sharply in the barn and shot out behind Brody.

Max either was more experienced on the ATV
or knew the terrain better, maybe both, but even with me holding
tight to his waist, we passed Brody. The wind, chill on the ATV and
me not wearing a jacket, whipped our bodies and hair and we were
going fast, too fast, scary fast and I didn’t notice.

The wheels left earth as we flew over a rise
then landed with a bone-jarring thud which made me glad I was
holding onto Max for dear life. We barreled down it, heading toward
the narrow, now muddy track running the side of the river that Max
and I took on the snowmobile.

My heart in my throat hammering
uncontrollably, I scanned the river as it flew by at our sides.

My eyes were on the river but my mind was
on Mindy putting her hand to my window and giving me that funny,
little smile. That funny, little smile I was too stupid,
stupid,
stupidly
drunk
to read. Max had asked me to take it easy on the drink, he’d told
me she had bad moments, I’d even bloody
seen
them. But did I listen, did I read the signs,
signs I’d seen but didn’t read before with Charlie?

No. No, I didn’t.

Then we neared the bend and I saw her. Max
did too.

“
God fucking
dammit,
” he clipped and even with the wind, I heard the alarm and
anger clear in his gravelly voice.

He hadn’t stopped the ATV when I jumped off
and started running straight to the steep incline that fell down to
the river.

“Nina!” Max shouted but I didn’t pause and
went over the side, running hell bent for my darling girl floating
face down, her body caught in some reeds and butting against some
rocks, her long hair a darkened, strawberry blonde web drifting
eerily all around her.

I lost my footing and fell to a knee,
sliding down the incline on my lower side to the bottom. I felt the
rocks and gravel scoring at my thigh, hip and calf but the pain
didn’t register. The minute my feet touched earth I ran again,
straight to Mindy, straight into the water and I heard Max shout my
name again.

I ignored it and slid along the slippery
stones under my feet, the snow melt water rushing all around me and
the river floor fell away faster than I expected. The water was
shocking in its bitter chill but I kept going. I was up to my
breasts when I got to her.

Flipping her around, I slipped my arms under
her armpits and started backwards, pulling her along with me which
was difficult to do fighting against the mighty tug of the rushing
river. I hit something and knew it was Max when I felt his arms
hook under mine, anchoring me to him as I was anchoring Mindy to
me.