Coffee in Common (55 page)

They knew she loved to read, for that was all she seemed to do at home, but never imagined the breadth of her interests. The girl seemed to know a little bit about everything and quite a lot about such disparate subjects as horses, modern art, psychology, electricity, and the gourmet jelly beans she introduced them to when she moved in. Later that night, Shane had them laughing with stories about the nuns in elementary school, but the laughter died as she hinted at the loneliness she endured during high school and at Simmons.

There were layers to Shane's personality, a depth Carol found intriguing. She knew people like Shane in high school and college, but never got to know them. She was pretty and popular, and smart enough in her own right, but much too aware of her own social standing to spend time with the geeky kids. Now, she wondered what she might have missed. Perhaps if a real friendship with Shane developed, she would find out.

"I…uh…" Shane covered her face with her hand. She could feel the heat of her embarrassment burning her palm.

Damn! Will I ever learn to be more tactful?

"I'm sorry, Shane. I didn't mean to spring it on you like that. It's just, well, I saw a side of you Friday I didn't know was there. Maybe two sides. I don't know with all we were drinking. But I'd really like to get to know more about who you are. But this revelation about your inexperience is like an elephant in the room. I just can't ignore it and I'm never going to be able to concentrate on anything else until I know how and why it got there." She scrunched her face a bit.
"You know what I mean?"

"I guess so. It's just…I've never really been comfortable talking about…you know."

"Sex."

"Uh-huh."

"That's okay," Carol grinned. "I have no problem at all talking about it, so if you average us out, we'll both just be mildly uncomfortable."

That drew half a smile from Shane, whose color receded somewhat.

"Look, if you really don't want to talk about it, just tell me to mind my own business. I won't be offended. It's just that you really freaked for a minute there the other night, and…"

"It's okay. I've been thinking lately that maybe I've let my shyness define me for too long. It was one thing when I was in high school and even in college I could pretend it was the studying that kept me in my room all the time. But now…well…it was a huge deal for me to move in here with you guys. And I've been sort of watching you and Gail and feeling like I'm missing out on things, on life. Friday night just confirmed it for me.

"I read somewhere that the best way to overcome a fear is to do what you're afraid of until it becomes ordinary. I think last year, I might have run and hid in my room if someone asked the question you just asked." One corner of her mouth turned up as she shook her head. "To tell the truth, that was my first instinct a few minutes ago. But here I am, a little embarrassed maybe, but I'm still alive, I can still talk, and I'd like to ask you a question before I answer yours. Okay?"

Carol's eyebrows arched with curiosity before her lips curled with mischief. "Sure. Ask away. You want the details of
my
first time or something?"

Shane's blush deepened, but she returned the smile. "Maybe another time. I want to know why you and Gail let me move in here."

"Because you seemed quiet and responsible. And you had a good job."

"But I'm so different from the two of you. You must have had calls from other girls with good jobs who were more like you two. So why did you pick me?"

Carol looked away, but could feel Shane's stare.
Damn! She knows there's something else. Something I really don't want to tell her. Damn! It seemed so reasonable four months ago, when she was just a girl who'd be living in the other bedroom. But now…what do I do? I really want to be friends with her but telling her might hurt her. But not telling
would be like lying, and lying is no way to begin a friendship. But if I tell her, will she even want a friendship?

She met Shane's gaze again and knew she had to be honest. Prefaced by a resigned sigh, she said, "The truth is that it was between you and two other girls. And when we were talking it over trying to make a decision, well, all things being equal, and they were, we chose you…" She could feel her face begin to burn with embarrassment. "…because we figured you wouldn't be competition for the guys we might bring home."

Carol winced as she said the last part, anticipating almost every reaction except Shane's simple nod.

"I thought it had to be something like that."

"You thought… But how? Why?"

"I put myself in your place, looked at it from every angle I could think of, and that made the most sense."

"But it was a horrible way to make a decision."

"Not really. You just did what you thought would be best for you. I'd have done the same thing in your place, although my criteria would have been different." She smiled, but didn't look happy. "I don't know if it will make you feel any better, but if I really had been in your place, I probably wouldn't have offered you the room." She noticed Carol's eyes widen. "I'd have been looking for someone like me, you know? And it would have been a huge mistake because I'd have remained the shy bookworm who sits at home letting life pass her by. Living with you and Gail and going out with you two the other night has really opened my eyes."

Carol sat back in the chair and regarded her housemate.
This girl keeps surprising me. By all rights, she should be insulted and furious with us for what we did. But she isn't.
She wasn't sure how to react to her indifference so she said, "Shane, I really am sorry. I…"

"Please. Forget it. As I said, I'd have done worse." Shane indulged in a deep sigh before continuing. "What you said earlier, about why you want to know about me. Is that true?"

"Of course. Why?"

"It's just, well, nobody's ever been that interested in me before."

"I don't believe that. You're exaggerating."

"Not really. But it's my own fault. I've always been shy. Really shy. Mostly I've lived inside my head, you know? I kind of accepted early on that I was never going to shine physically, so I stopped trying. I concentrated on learning, on things that interest me. I know if I was willing to sleep with just anyone I'd probably find some guys who'd…you know…but that's not what I want. If I'm going to have…ahh…sex, it's going to be with someone I really care about and who cares about me. That's old fashioned, I know, but that's what I want. And if I can't have it, I'll stick with reading and learning."

"So you really are a virgin? Wow."

Carol watched Shane shift uneasily in her seat and knew something important would come next if she could find it in herself to say it.

"I guess, technically, I'm not really a virgin. I…" She closed her eyes and took a breath, letting it out slowly. "Remember, Friday, I told you about my only date? The night of my senior prom?"

She opened her eyes in time to see Carol nod.

"Well, after the prom, we rode around awhile, then he asked me if I wanted to go to his house and hang out, play some music, maybe dance some more. I was so happy just to be with a boy and it sounded like fun, so we went. His parents' house was huge and they had a really great family room in the basement. His father worked nights and his mother was asleep, so it was almost like we were alone at his place. We danced for a little while, then he said he was making himself a drink and asked if I wanted one. As you saw Friday, a couple of drinks loosens me right up, and I had way more than a couple. When his father came home and found us, we were both passed out. He wasn't wearing any pants and I wasn't wearing any underwear." She was blushing furiously again. "So you see, I'm not really a virgin, although I don't actually remember doing it."

"Oh, sweetie, that's sad, not remembering your first time. Did he…"

Shane was shaking her head. "No. He never called me again. I sort of hoped for a few days, but I never really expected he would." Her eyes clouded over as she remembered that painful time. "I don't think he ever told anyone about it, either." She sighed. "He was probably too embarrassed."

12:18 PM

Madeline O'Brien strolled into the living room looking for two-year-old Sean. She found him sitting on the sofa, staring at his aunt who appeared to be lost in a book and unaware of his attention.

"For the love'a Mike," Maddy said, "don't you ever do anything but read?"

At the sound of her voice, both Sean and Shane glanced up and she saw what could only be exasperation on both their faces. Then Shane turned to Sean, tilted her head and pouted for a second before she returned her attention to her sister.

"Thanks, Maddy. You ruined our game. Sean bet me he could sit silently and look at me longer than I could sit silently and read without looking up at him." Shifting her attention back to Sean, she smiled and reached over to ruffle his hair. "I say it's a tie. We can play again to see who'll be the champion the next time Mommy and Daddy go out and I come over to watch you. That way there won't be
anyone
to interrupt us."

Sean beamed.

"Well, how was I supposed to know you were playing a game. Every time I see you your nose is stuck in a book." There was the slightest tinge of jealousy in her voice as she wondered why Sean always seemed to save that particular smile for Shane.

"I like to read. Why does that bother you so much?"

"It doesn't bother me. I read, too, as you well know. But I don't waste my whole life in books. There's a real world out there, Shane. With real people. Guys, even."

Shane sighed. At least once a month Maddy felt compelled to tell her what was wrong with her life. "Will you stop, please." Sometimes, that simple request actually worked. Today wasn't one of those times.

"All I'm trying to say is…"

From the recliner next to the fireplace, she heard her husband say, "Maddy, if you don't stop now, I'll have to call Ma in here." She could see he was serious, even though he was grinning. It wasn't often Sean, senior or junior, actually got the last word with her.

She and her husband argued many times over the concept of letting grownups live their own lives and Maddy would not have minded another go-around with her sister present, but the threat of "calling Ma in here" was serious. Very serious. Especially when she was in the middle of cooking dinner. Nobody wanted to hear her go off on one of her lectures. Ma's lectures were more like rants and could go on indefinitely, and she was hoping to be home before bedtime.

"Madeline."

Bloody hell. She's standing right behind me. Thank the good Lord I didn't say something.
"Yes, Ma."

"Please get everyone ready. Dinner will be ready in five minutes."

Huh?

"Yes, Ma."
Did Ma just choose to not treat me like a child?
"Sean, please help Junior get his hands washed." She turned to Shane, smiling.
If Ma can do it…
"Would you mind calling Daddy?"

"Daaadyyy!" Shane half-yelled.

"Geez. I could have…"

"I was just kidding, Maddy. As if Daddy would hear that even if he had his hearing aid turned on." She jumped up and headed toward the door to the basement.

Maddy's lips curled into a smile as she turned, nodded toward the kitchen, and said quietly, "Come on, Ma. Let me help you."

Rose Marie Devlin looked around the room and thought how wonderful her life was.
I'm healthy and comfortable and have my family around me. And what in this world could be better than that?

Monday, May 9

11:38 AM

Shane was getting desperate. Monday mornings were usually busy, with moms coming in to return the books and DVDs their kids enjoyed over the weekend. But today, there were less than a dozen in the nearly three hours since the library opened. She hated standing around doing nothing so, in-between the infrequent patrons, she kept herself busy with other things. The only task left was the returns—three carts full of books from late Saturday and today that needed to go back on the shelves. She knew Mrs. Renya, one of the volunteers, would take care of them when she came in at one o'clock. Still, she pouted. Doing the returns would kill the hour until lunch, but she was stuck at the desk. Unless…

She picked up the phone and dialed reference. "Hi, Anna. It's Shane. Are you busy?"

"Busy? I wish. I'm doing the crossword puzzle in the newspaper. What's up?"

"I'm so bored up here. I've done everything except the returns and I was wondering if you wanted to switch until lunch so I can shelve them."

"Why not. I can do the crossword up front as well as I can back here."

Annakiya Manu loved crossword puzzles. She discovered them at the age of eleven, when her family emigrated from Nigeria. By the time she graduated high school, she could complete most daily newspaper puzzles in about an hour. Now, twenty-one years later, the daily puzzles were simply time-wasters for her.

Most of the staff disliked the tedium of shelving returns and books that had been left around the library, but Shane enjoyed seeing what people were reading.

Three years ago, when she began working part-time at the library, she was amazed at how so many people would suddenly be interested in a particular subject. She puzzled over it until one Monday afternoon, when it seemed like every third person who came in wanted information about the Civil War. She mentioned it to Anna, who looked at her curiously and asked, "You don't watch much TV, do you?" The mystery was solved.

Except for occasional big news stories where visuals were important, Shane had not watched any commercial television since entering high school. Now and then, she did enjoy a movie on DVD, but most of her free time was spent reading.

12:07 PM

Shane was bent over at the waist, replacing a book from the second cart on the bottom shelf of the rack when a faintly familiar voice behind her said, "Excuse me?"

"Yes, can I help y…" She almost choked as she straightened up and turned her head.
Ohmygod, it's him! And he saw me all bent over like that with my butt in the air and…
She coughed and cleared her throat to provide a few seconds to compose herself.