Coffee in Common (10 page)

"It's always been in the back of my mind haunting me, telling me that one day you'd wake up and realize what you were settling for and that would be the end. So I guess I tried to keep it all fun and games. I figured if you were having a great time, you might not notice who you were having it with, at least for a while longer. And when you'd try to talk about us, about the future and stuff, I panicked. I never really believed someone like you could want someone like me for the long term. I never let myself believe I was good enough for you because I knew how much better a person you are than me.

"There were times I ached to tell you how I felt, how much I love you, but I didn't. I couldn't. Despite everything, I was scared to death you'd leave me if I ever really tried to tie you down."

He grunted, disgusted with himself.

"What a fool I was. If you only knew how tired I am of all the clubs and the partying, of all the late nights, of having to drag myself to work the next day, of the whole scene. But it made you happy, or seemed to. So I kept going. It was all I knew to do to keep you near me. I didn't want to take a chance and rock the boat."

Rob squeezed her hand a bit tighter. "I could have told you six times a day how much I love you and it wouldn't have been enough for me, but I…well, now you know it all. And if you'll give me one more chance, if you let us start over, I promise,…"

They had reached the main entrance to the Gardens and he nodded toward the statue.

‘…as George Washington is my witness, you will never, ever regret it."

Lisa's eyes were glistening. Tears rolled down her cheeks. This was the first time he'd ever really opened up to her, the first time he'd ever let her see behind the armor he wore, the first time he'd ever made himself really vulnerable to her.

She threw her arms around him and hugged him, her head resting on his shoulder, her tears wetting his jacket. She felt his arms move around her.

"I love you, Lisa," she heard him say softly, his lips near her ear. "Lord how I love you."

They stood there, bodies pressed close, hearts beating as one for long, loving minutes. Then she broke the embrace and used her fingers to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

Then she smacked him hard on the chest with the palm of her hand.

"That was for being such an ass for so long."

She leaned in to kiss him, their lips touching softly at first, but with growing fervor as the seconds ticked on. After a minute, she broke away. "And that was for realizing it before it was too late."

6:50 PM

Paul and Priya walked back to their table after she embarrassed him in a best-of-three darts match. They'd played many times, but Paul had beaten her only twice – two single games. Both wins came when Priya had consumed more than a few drinks. Even still, she'd managed to take the best-of-three series both times, despite her inebriation. Paul was never sure if that said more about her skill at the game or about his lack thereof.

"I can't get over that you never played darts before coming to Boston."

"It's true."

The crew had taken her to DHL to celebrate the completion of her first week and someone thought they'd found an easy mark in the new girl. That was when they discovered her amazing hand-eye coordination. By the end of the second game, she'd figured out how to throw the darts and now few at the company would play her.

Paul never minded losing to her, though. He was fascinated by the way she could pop the darts pretty much anywhere she wanted them to go. Plus, she was fun to hang with. She could talk about movies, music, art, literature, even politics, and always seemed to be in good humor. Plus, she shared his appreciation for really bad puns and jokes, especially the risqué kind.

"By the way, what's the definition of moron?"

Paul grinned. "I'm afraid to ask."

"What a father tells his teenage daughter to put before she goes out on a date."

His groan elicited a fit of giggles.

"I wonder how things are going?" she asked once they were seated.

"With Rob and Lisa?"

"Uh-huh. It was so strange. I've never seen Rob like that before. He's usually so cool and cocky. But when he saw her standing there, he seemed to turn into someone else."

"I know. The threat of losing her really upset him. He's always been such a dog; never getting serious about anyone or anything. From day one though, it was different with Lisa. He knew it, too. I think it scared him and he let his fears cloud his judgment."

"Well I'm glad to see he's finally come to his senses."

"Me, too. Underneath all the bull, Rob's a great guy. And he and Lisa just seem to work together. You know?"

"I do. One of these days I'd like to find someone like that. I guess everyone would."

"Well, I hope he keeps it all together tonight. If he blows this chance…"

Priya nodded as Paul signaled for another round.

"More beer? We've already had two. Are you trying to get me drunk, sir? Or should I say, drunkerer?" Her grin turned into a soft giggle.

"Drunkerer? Is that another of your quickly-becoming-famous made-up words?"

"How about tipsier? Does that sound better? Are you trying to get me tipsier? I hope you're not planning to take advantage of me?"

If you only knew how many times I've dreamed about it.

He set his shoulders and tried to look hurt. "Madame, you wound me. I would never take ungentlemanly advantage of a lady. Unless, of course, she convinced me she's no lady." He tried to leer, but two beers on an empty stomach turned it into a wide-eyed, goofy grin.

Priya enjoyed flirting, but she could see the conversation heading in a dangerous direction.

"So why are you here killing time with me instead of out with Jillian?"

"She has a yoga class on Thursdays and then I guess she and a bunch of her friends go out afterward. And for your information, I am not killing time. I enjoy your company, even though I've never quite forgiven you for raising my hopes to previously unheard of heights on your first day of work, and then dashing them most cruelly and completely."

Priya giggled again. "Oh, if only you all could have seen your faces when I struck that pose. I'd give heavy odds none of you could have stood up without discomfort and embarrassment."

His abashed grin told her she was correct about at least one of them.

"Weren't you worried we might not have been so amused and accepting? I mean, with the whole sexual harassment thing and all…that was a heck of a chance you took."

She took a long drink from the just arrived mug.

"I was worried. But I had to find out if I could be part of the team, not just some eye candy for you guys. Once I came up with the idea, I debated it in my head all night. I even called my brother Raj to ask what he thought."

"You called your brother? And he liked the idea?"

"Hell no! He was ready to come and lock me in my apartment. And he might have if he'd been able to get a flight here in time.

"But his objection was not so much that it might backfire, but that his chaste little sister would be doing something so overtly sexual."

Paul's ears perked up.

"Chaste?"

Priya felt the blood rushing to her face.

"Did I say that?"

"Yes you did. Did you mean it?"

"Paul, you're a nice guy, but I really don't care to have my personal life become the subject of office gossip."

"Priya, I would never tell anyone something you told me in confidence. I swear. No, I swear on my soon-to-be relationship with Jillian. No sex? Really?"

"It's a long story."

"Pri, I have nowhere to go and nothing to do but listen."

None of the added color had faded.

I can't believe I let that slip. Damn beers. Can I trust him? He's never made me think I couldn't. And he is a pretty decent guy. Damn!

Deciding, she said, "If you ever…"

"Never, Priya. On my life."

She sighed, then nodded, wishing she'd had the good sense to eat something before drinking.

"I didn't start developing until I was fourteen, but when I did, it happened quickly. My mother never had
the talk
with me before she passed away, so it was left to my father to help me through my first period, and to tell me the facts of life."

Her face softened as her eyes lost focus for a few seconds. Paul could tell she was remembering the event.

"He was so gentle and kind about it. Even though it was only two months after my mother died, and even though he was devastated by it, he sort of sucked it up and focused on me.

"I was so embarrassed about the whole thing when I told him, but he came to the store with me and stood there helping me read the various packages of pads and tampons as we tried to figure out which would be best for me.

"When we got home, we sat down to talk. Both of us were hideously uncomfortable, but even so, he managed to make me feel like I was the most special girl in the world as he told me what was happening to my body.

"Then he started in about sex.

"Looking back on it now, I guess it was kind of funny and sweet at the same time. He was so clinical about it at first, as he described the mechanics of it. But then he started talking about feelings, and love, and making love, and how sharing my body with someone was the most sacred gift I could give.

"As fascinated as I was to finally hear the straight dope on sex, I was relieved when it was over. I think he was relieved, too, but he made it clear that despite our embarrassment, I should always come to him and ask whenever I had a question, or whenever something didn't sound or feel right to me. And I did a few times, in the beginning. But mostly I thought about what he'd said about me being special and about giving myself being sacred. So I started reading all I could about love and sex and the more I read, the more I realized how many people were messing up their lives because of sex. At least it seemed that way to me at the time. So I made a vow that I wouldn't give myself to anyone until my wedding night. There were other things to do school, sports, writing. You know."

Paul's eyes bugged out. "Wait a second! You mean you're a…"

"Shush!"

Priya glared as her hand smacked at his shoulder.

"What the hell do you think ‘chaste' means?" Her voice had sunk to a whisper.

"I thought you meant you'd sworn off it, you know, like you were taking a break. I never…wow.

"And you've never had any regrets? Never been tempted?"

"Oh, I've been tempted. Many times. But I've never really regretted my decision until recently."

An evil grim spread across his face, "Well, if you're regretting the decision, I'd be happy to…"

Glaring, she held up her hand to stop him. "
Do not
even go there."

"Sorry. Really, I'm sorry. Totally inappropriate, but I couldn't resist. But seriously, what's happened to make you regret it?"

"Sometimes I worry that I'll be a…" She glanced around. "…you know, forever. It wasn't a big deal when I was still in school. Guys would ask me out, and I'd go now and then, but there was always studying to do to fill the time, to keep me from thinking about what I might be missing. This last year, since I've started work, it's been different. I'm ready to get serious with someone, but in this day and age, it seems like if you don't put out you get shut out.

"Did you know I've gone out with three guys since I came to DPP?"

"No! I think we all figured you didn't date."

"I thought as much, which is what I wanted you all to think, I guess."

She looked sad, almost pained.

"All three dumped me when it became clear I was serious about my vow."

"Geez, what assholes. How come you never said anything to us? Hell, we'd have been happy to find them and beat some sense into them for you."

Priya laughed.

"Thank you. I think I believe you all would. But, you know, as much as I kid and joke with you guys, sometimes I really feel like an outsider being the only girl. Not that anyone has ever done or said anything to make me feel uncomfortable. On the contrary, you've all been great. You treat me like one of the guys, which is what I want. And we're all close, in a way, but I really wouldn't feel comfortable talking about guy problems with you all the way I would with another woman."

Almost as an aside, she mumbled, "Of course, I've never really had many close girlfriends. And none here, yet.

"Anyway, as I said, you guys are great and all, but you have the wrong hormones and plumbing to be able to really understand certain things."

Paul nodded.

"I guess that's true, but have you considered that we can provide a perspective you simply cannot get from someone without our particular plumbing."

She thought about that for a bit, then grinned.

"Perhaps you're right."

"Try me. Come on, the promise is still valid. In fact, I hereby make it valid for eternity, or until I croak, whichever comes first."

"Thanks, you're very sweet, but you don't really want to hear me chattering about my boyfriends and such."

"Priya, have you ever known me to lie? Please, just this once. If it doesn't work out, what have you lost but some time."

She paused for a few seconds, then sighed.

"What the hell. After…" Again she glanced around before whispering, "…
virginity
, how much more personal can you get? But I'm getting pretty hungry, and I really don't feel like eating bar food. You want to get some dinner?"

"Sure. What are you in the mood for?"

"Lobster. I really can't afford it, but I've been craving it for a week now."

"Lobster it is, then. My treat."

She started to protest, but he cut her off.

"I make more than you do and I can afford it and it would make me feel good to treat you as a way of saying thank you for placing your trust in me this evening."

She still was not convinced.

"And you can treat me next time, okay?"

She smiled and nodded. They stopped by the bar to pay their tabs then headed toward the door.

"You know," Paul said. "I still can't get over your…ummm…well, never having experienced sexual pleasure."