Code Name: Luminous (6 page)

“Look at me.” Mace hammered him on the arm.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? You’re not? Get a grip.”

“When it comes to her, the truth is I won’t be
able to keep it in my pants, all right?” He stalked away, but Mace kept stride.

“So what?
She obviously likes you.”

“She’s a bloody virgin. I kissed her this
morning, and it was her first kiss for fuck’s sake.”

Mace stopped, and gripped him so he would too.
“Seriously?”

“Yeah.
Seriously.
I guess I assumed living in
Vegas she was like every other hot-blooded woman and had a past. She’s been
very sheltered up until a few years ago, and by the sound of it, her mother
breathed fire and brimstone about the debauchery of the male species.” He shook
his head. “And she’s right. I wouldn’t even know what to do with a virgin, and
staying with her is too much temptation. Besides that, she’s only twenty-four.
Almost seven years difference between us.”

“She’s twenty-four, big deal. What’s the real
reason?”

The question stunned him. “What do
ya
think?”

“How about you might have feelings for
her,
and that’s why you’re concerned about her innocence.
That doesn’t make you a prick. It means it’s time you take a look at
yourself
and see what everyone else sees.”

Tony shrugged.

“
Don’t
fucking shrug
it off. You fell for Nina. You went the distance for us, even though it might
have meant our friendship would have been severed. For some reason you’ve
always thought less of yourself, and the women we rolled around in the sheets
with who gave it up freely were the only type you deserved. You’re wrong.”

“Problems?”
Ghost’s throaty timbre broke the tense stare between him and
Mace.

“Yeah, he’s being a stupid shit,” Mace
spouted.

“I ordered you to watch over her, Petty
Officer Bale, not Ross. Why is he putting his gear in the ranch house?”

“Because I told him to.
I start deployment in five days.”

“You,” Ghost growled. “Do as ordered. The
President has viable information that the
bacteria was
not only
weaponized
in the U.S. as Miss Edenridge
confirmed, but it might have fingers extending into American cooperation. They
need to follow the trail until the lab is found, along with someone who will talk.
Alpha Squad is the only group of men I will trust with the information.”

“We can trust Ross.”

“Everyone remains outside of the circle until
proven otherwise. Get your gear and tell Ross he’s taking the drive back to San
Diego.
Now.”

“Admiral—”

“Now, Bale.”

“Yes, sir.”
Tony marched away from Ghost and Mace like a man on his last walk
to the gallows, trying to convince himself he could resist his desire for the
woman who watched him from the porch. No big deal. He would just keep his
distance. Treat her like a friend. He heaved his sea bag over his shoulder and
headed for the house.

“You’re staying?” Lumin asked, nervously
watching him approach.

“Apparently, I’ve been ordered to stay,” he
said, not looking at her as he strode up the steps.

“Tony, I didn’t ask—”

“I know you didn’t.”

Mace followed him in, carrying a box of
groceries and sat it on the kitchen counter. “I’ll let you put these away.”

“Tinman,” Ditz called from the kitchen table,
stepping away from a laptop he’d connected. “I’ve set you up. You’ve got
scrambled communications through a satellite link. If you select this icon, it
will send a message to all our cell phones on the squad, simultaneously.”

“For what?” he asked, and strode over to see
what the squad’s communications guru, Clay “Ditz” Sacks, had invented now.

“A distress signal,” Ditz said, running the
cursor over the alarm bell icon.

Smartass! “Thanks, Ditz, but I’m sure we’ll be
fine,” he said, staring out the back window to the deck and fire pit that sat
in the backyard.

Ditz surveyed him and said, “What the hell’s
the mood about? You’re shacked up with a beautiful woman with nothing around but
ducks and beavers. I’ve sure as shit never gotten a mission like that.”

Tony shot him a patronizing glare.

“Clear out, men,” Ghost called from the
doorway. He checked over his shoulder to make sure the place was empty. Lumin
had retreated upstairs. The Admiral advanced on him with a look he didn’t
understand. “Until I give you the word, you protect her. It will be you and you
alone that
keeps
her alive, Petty Officer Bale. Your
deployment has begun, and this is your mission.”

Tony bit down on a retort and breathed heavily
through his nose to square himself off. “It doesn’t have to be me.”

Ghost gripped his shoulder and burned him with
a gaze. “I know my men. I know you, Petty Officer Bale. On these same
floorboards I found heaven and faced hell. I hope you don’t have to go through
what I did, but it’s time you dig deep. There are things that have held you
back. Things in this,” he said, pinning a finger to the side of Tony’s head.
“We all have a past to reconcile.” Ghost searched his eyes. “You are one hell
of a SEAL, but you are also a leader who hasn’t stepped forward yet. We don’t
conquer if we don’t challenge. It’s one of the first things you learn as a
SEAL. Every man who wears a trident wears his past and everything he does in
warfare.”

Tony dropped his gaze to the floor concerned
what Ghost could see, but he saw everything; that’s why he was still alive
while too many other men were feeding worms.

“Lumin called you for help. She sees, even if
she doesn’t understand, that you are a man who will protect her and lead her
through the fire. I can guarantee you, you’ll face fire, and I expect to see
you both on the other side without a
singe
. Whether
you know it or not, that woman upstairs will teach you something about yourself
that you need to learn.”

Ghost turned his mountainous presence away and
walked out of the house without a backward look.

Why the hell did his guts feel like they’d
been twisted so tight he’d never be able to process a pea? He let out a
stuttering breath, assimilating what Ghost had just rammed down his throat.

“He’s pretty scary when he wants to be.” Her
voice drifted down shaky and meek.

Tony’s gaze darted to the landing above, where
Lumin gripped the railing. He didn’t move.
Didn’t feel like
he could.
Lumin glided down the stairs and approached him carefully,
stopping only inches away from him.

“Are you all right?” she asked, looking scared
as a rabbit, as if Ghost had ripped her skin off and exposed her underbelly
instead of him.

He cleared his throat and nodded.
“Yeah.”

“Why do they call him Ghost?”

Not really something he wanted to share with
her. Their worlds were too far apart, and with her sheltered existence it was
like dipping angel wings in blood. “We all have team names.”

“I noticed. You’re Tinman because,” she
paused, thinking.
“Because you work with heavy equipment and
explosives?”

“That would be a great explanation, but,” he
chuckled and scratched his cheek. “That’s not the case.” She waited for him to
explain. “Ah, truth is on basic I had a bad habit of always
screwin
’
around with my knife. I’d open everything with
it,
including tin cans...I slit my thumb open three times.
Needed
stitches every time.
After the third time, I got tagged with the name
Tinman.”

She broke into a hearty laugh.

He couldn’t help himself. When she laughed her
light encompassed him, and he laughed right along with her.

Gaining control, she asked, “And Ghost?”

“I don’t want to tell you, Lumin.” He swayed
his head.

“I’m not made of fine china, Tinman.” She
chuckled using his name.

She was to him, but he wasn’t going to tell
her that. “Captain Redding gave it to him. He was Ghost’s lieutenant for many
years. He called him Ghost because he said the Admiral could kill a man before
he even knew his life was over.”

Lumin nodded. “You, I suppose, have done that
as well?”

Tony drew in his bottom lip. She’d see him in
a totally different light and he didn’t want that for some reason, but he
nodded anyway. “We’re trained to lead in an
environment of constant
stress and chaos. Sometimes,” he glanced at her, seeing her rapt attention,
“sometimes that means taking a life.” He swallowed heavily.

“So…you don’t let doubt stop you.” She squared her
shoulders. “You finish the mission. You don’t let anything stand in your way,”
she said, her voice hitched to enthusiasm.

He cranked a brow at her, not really sure what she was getting
at. “Yes,” he drawled carefully.

“That’s good to know,” she said brightly.

“It is?” Now he was confused. Women were strange creatures.

“I have a mission.”

“You do?”

“Yes.”

“Should I ask?”

“Yes, you should.”

He scratched his chin and the days’ stubble reminded him he
needed to find his razor. “Are you going to tell me?”

“You’re going to take my virginity.” She did a dramatic
about-face, marched across the vast great room, up the stairs into her room,
and shut the door with a
thunk
.

His mouth smacked shut after gaping for a few seconds.
Blinked.
Blinked again.
“What?”

Chapter Four

Tony hammered on the door she’d disappeared
behind. “We talked about this, Lumin. I’m not the one.”

Lumin grinned to herself. He thought he was so
darn smart. She didn’t survive Vegas without having some brain cells,
nor
two years toward a law degree. She quickly removed her
clothes, brushed her fingers through her hair, squeezed her cheeks, and then
waited next to the door.

“Lumin, I mean it,” he yelled from the other
side. “We’re on the same side here. We’ll, we’ll…hang out, play cards,
go
for walks…”

Swiping the grin from her lips, she yanked the
door open. “We can do all of that when my mission is complete.”

“Oh! Oh, shit,” he shouted, and slapped a hand
over his eyes, taking a step back. “For the love of God, woman, give me a
break.”

“Remove your hand, Petty Officer Bale.”

“No,” he barked. “Please, put your clothes
back on.”

“Are you trying to tell me I’m ugly?”

“No, damn it.” He spun around. “I’m going
downstairs.”

She grabbed the back of his pants and he
jerked to a stop. “Turn around, SEAL.”

“No. No. Fuck no.” His jaw cinched tight.
“Sorry.”

“What is the matter with you? Tell me exactly.
I might not live to see tomorrow and I don’t want to die a virgin,” she chirped
at him. “Why is it so wrong that I want to know what sex feels like?”

Tony shook his head vigorously.

“You’re the one acting like a virgin. Did you
send the message about dripping pussies to yourself?”

Tony grabbed his head with both hands before
whipping around, snapping his eyes closed. “Please, just do what I say, and
stop using that language. It’s not you.”

A hefty grin popped onto her lips and she
smothered it. Gripping his wrist, she tried to pry his hand from her arm, but
although he held on, he didn’t hurt her. “Let go.”

“Why?”

“Let go.”

Slowly he released her and she guided his
hand, but as soon as he realized where it was headed, he pulled it back.
“Lumin, stop,” he ordered with a firm voice, and opened his eyes to glare at
her. “I’m not saying you’re not beautiful. You are,” he stuttered. “I’m not
saying I don’t want you. I’m not. I’m telling you I can’t. I won’t.
All right.
Now stop fucking around, and put your clothes
back on.” He flinched. “Shit, sorry. Aw, damn it.”

Her heart sank with the heavy-handed words and
the stern look he poured all over her.
Deflated.
Definitely embarrassed, she stepped away.

“Lumin.”

She closed the door, cutting him off from her.
Maybe she didn’t know people as well as she thought. She’d seen desire in
Tony’s eyes, but it wasn’t covered in a cheap plastic coating like it always
was in the men drifting through Vegas. She quickly dressed and swept up her
backpack, adjusted it, and secured the belt around her waist. Pushing open the
window, she checked her surroundings. A large tree grew next to the house, and
she stepped onto the ledge and grabbed hold. Carefully, she clambered down and
jumped the remaining four feet to the ground. Giving her pack a quick wiggle,
she headed for the highway. It wasn’t more than a mile or so. Maybe she could
hitch a ride. She didn’t want to go back to Vegas. Maybe she’d head north to
her brother’s place.

It didn’t matter. Staying with Tony after he
made it clear he didn’t want her, not to mention embarrassing herself, was
impossible.

* * * *

Tony stood at the door two hours later, hoping
she’d cooled off. He knew he’d hurt her, but it was the only option to put
things into perspective. She didn’t know what she was asking. Lumin was the
kind of woman who needed to offer her innocence to the guy who would love her
till death do they part. He was most definitely not that guy.

“Lumin, come on out. We’ll talk.” He rolled
his eyes with the silent treatment. “Lumin, I’m coming in there if you don’t
come out. If it’s so damn important, I’ll explain myself. Open up.”

He ran a hand through his hair, and then
reached for the knob. It turned and he grinned to himself. So she wanted him to
come to her. Fair enough. He might have to
grovel
a
little…but…
“Lumin?
Where are you?” A quick scan of
the bedroom made him sprint for the bathroom. The curtains fluttered across the
open window next to the bed. “Shit. No.
Lumin!”
He
practically threw himself out the window. She’d escaped using nature’s
fireman’s pole.

God damn it. He vaulted down the stairs,
snagged his keys off the coffee table, and ran for the front door.

Sitting in a hick town, three hours later, he
absentmindedly spun his cell in circles on the restaurant tabletop.

“Refill?” the waitress asked.

“Can I get it to go?” Tony asked.

“Sure, be right back.”

He picked up his cell, and then put it down
again. He’d done it several times already. How the hell was he going to explain
he’d lost his mission in
under
thirty minutes?
Fuck
. He fisted the table. He’d texted
her, and received one back, it said
Forget
I called
. He’d sent fifty so far and it went from ordering to begging to
enticing and back to begging. His cell buzzed and he snapped it up. Shit!

T-man, how’s it going?

Was he going to admit to Mace he’d lost her?
No. He would find her. He was a friggin’ SEAL. He could find a lizard in the
damn desert. He sure as hell could find a beautiful woman in his own backyard.
He texted back.

Great.

A thumbs up was Mace’s response. While holding
his phone another text came in.

I’m safe. Your mission is over. Stand down.

He chuckled with the terms she used. She paid
attention.

He texted back.
Unless you’re with me, my
mission is not over.

He bit his lip waiting.
Talk to me
.

Over.

Not. I care about you. Not over.

The seconds ticked by as if covered in sap.

You’re lying.

He let out a breath.
Will you please answer my call?

He dialed her number. She answered but didn’t
say anything.

“Please, Lumin. Where are you?”

“I’m safe, Tony. You can go back to San
Diego.”

“No, you’re safe when you’re with me, but
you’re not.”

“I’ve lived on my own for years. I’m quite
capable.”

He sighed and tried to hold onto some
patience, but it was getting harder to do with this woman.
In
a lot of ways.
“I know you are, but there are people looking for you,
and I know how to protect someone. I’m the
SEAL,
you’re the beautiful, delicate…” His fingers drummed on the table.
“Why me?”
It came out of left field, and it was a stupid
question.

Her breath hitched.
“Because
you never looked at me like a thing.
Because I thought you saw me, not
just—the cover.” She paused and then said, “Because you make my heart race and
that’s never happened before. I’m not totally ignorant. I read books. I just
never experienced it until I saw you for the first time.”

The waitress placed a large to-go cup in front
of him.
“Your coffee, sweetheart.”

He nodded his thanks. What could he say?
Truth—for a change.
“Lumin, I’m exactly the opposite of what
you think I am. I’m a guy who plays the field and never revisits where he’s
been, if you know what I mean. I’m the biblical textbook asshole your mother
warned you to stay away from. It wasn’t that long ago I was sitting on a beach
thinking that I didn’t want to end up like those old retired single SEALs
sitting in front of a TV with a
wifebeater
on and a
fridge full of beer. It lasted all of a week before I was deep inside another
woman, and the next night a different one. That’s who I am. That’s—who my
father was. We’re the same. That’s just the way it is. You make my pulse beat
hard too, but it won’t last, and I’ll hurt you, and I don’t want to hurt you.”

Ball was in her court. The line remained open,
but silent. He drummed his fingers, waiting.

“No, it’s not. I can read people, Tony. That’s
how I’ve stayed out of trouble in a town that’s nothing but trouble. My mother
taught me to listen. She told me I could learn things, even things that aren’t
spoken out loud.”

A small smile crossed his lips.

“You’re smiling now, aren’t you?”

He blinked with surprise. “Yeah, I am.”

“When I look in your eyes, I don’t see a
sailor or a SEAL. I see a man with a heart who’s trying to hide it from
everyone.”

Tony sat back with a plunk against the bench
seat. “Why do you think that?”

“Because of the way you took the admiral’s
words to heart, and they scared you. I saw your expression, and how deeply his
words affected you. The way you are with Mace and the other members of your
squad. They have your loyalty until the end of your days. That tells me you’re
a man with a huge heart, not a cold one.”

A billowing silence filled him, and it stilled
years of clattering doubt that never seemed to shut down. “My father left us
when I was five. I found him again in my twenties and asked him why he’d left.
‘I was having too much fun, kid. I like the ladies. What can I say?
Didn’t want the party to end.’
He was a cold, heartless
bastard.”

“Maybe he was, but you’re not. My parents are
performers through and through. They’ll walk the wire until they can’t anymore,
but that doesn’t mean I will. I want to help people.
People
who don’t have the money to hire an expensive lawyer, but need justice. I am a
performer, but I choose not to remain one.”

A wave of acceptance settled in his chest.
Like lying in a pool of warm water, the thin walls he’d erected to keep her away
dissolved.

“Are you hungry?” he whispered.

“Yes.”

“Can I take you out for dinner?” He barely
breathed the words while his nerves jumped inside him.

“I’d like that.”

He chuckled with relief. “Why don’t I pick you
up and we can grab something? I know this great ranch. It’s got a lake.
A perfect place to have a picnic under the stars.
I’m not
saying I’ve changed my mind about—things, but…”

“I’m in Lakeside.”

Shit, so was he.
“Where?
Lumin?”

“Look to your left behind that big trucker
with the funny hat.”

He vaulted out of his seat. She smiled at him
from a booth on the other side of the restaurant. God, she was beautiful. He
wove his way through the tables and slid in across from her. “I didn’t want to
hurt your feelings.”

He looked to the ceiling as if there might be
some help up there. A soft, small hand covered his and he looked down at them
and then into her eyes. The sea had nothing on her. He could drown in them and
love every minute of it. With a gentle brush, he stroked her hair across her
shoulder, and leaned over the table to steal the breath from her soul, because
Lumin had turned the light on in his.

* * * *

The creatures of the night created a symphony
for them as they lay on a blanket staring up at the stars beside the lake.
Lumin’s eyes followed the green laser beam of light that Tony rolled across the
heavens, pointing out the different constellations in the sky. It pierced the
heavens and seemed like it actually touched each star.

“The Navy certainly teaches you a lot of
stuff,” she said, and rolled her head to smile at him.

“I used to wonder why they filled our heads
with stuff, too, but eventually I used it in some way.” He rolled onto his side
and propped his head in his hand, letting his other hand trace her chin, her
cheek, and eventually her lips. Since they’d returned to the ranch three hours
ago, he’d given her many first kisses, and he was a lifetime away from
stopping. He could sense her impatience, but he wasn’t going to rush a damn
thing. Mainly because he hadn’t figured out how he could make the experience
pleasurable for her. She was waiting for him to lead the way. “Why do you want
to lose your virginity now? I want you to wait.” The next words out of his
mouth shocked the shit out of him. “I can wait.”

She clutched his finger and brought it to her
lips and kissed the tip. “I told you why.”

He chuckled. “You’re not going to die
tomorrow.
Or the next day.”

“You don’t know that.” She rolled onto her
side to mirror him.

“Yes, I do.” With a slow brush, his finger
traced her collarbone and caressed her sleek arm. She was lean, but her muscles
were developed from the strap act she performed.