Cocked: A Stepbrother Romance (39 page)

“Is that where Colin is right now?”

He gave me a shrug. “Who knows with that boy.”

“Come on, Dad. At least keep me informed.”

“Since when did you want to know about the business?”

“Since I was stupid enough to marry one of you.”

That made him laugh, and he nodded.

“A real mess you got yourself into.”

I looked away. “Yeah.”

“But don’t you worry. You’re the safest you could ever be here.”

“I’m sorry you have to do this.”

“You don’t have to apologize.”

“And for all that other stuff. You know, back then.”

There was a short pause and I looked back at him.

“Water under the bridge. You’re home now.”

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

“And you can stay as long as you like.”

I realized that it was the first time since I had come home that I was having a real conversation with my dad. We had talked at the little party he threw for me, but it was mostly meaningless chatter, the sort of stuff you did at gatherings like that. We hadn’t really talked about anything. In fact, over the years we had never really said much to each other, aside from empty pleasantries. I wanted to change that.

I wanted to change a lot of things.

“Dad, why Colin?”

He blinked at me. “What do you mean?”

“Why Colin? I mean, why are you adopting him, and why did you take him in back then?”

He nodded. “So, you know about that.”

“He told me a few days ago.”

“And what do you think about it?”

“I honestly don’t know. But why are you doing it?”

“That’s a good question.”

“I think I get what you see in him, and he tried to explain the whole adoption thing to me, but it didn’t make sense. So why now?”

“It’s a complicated answer, Bren.”

“Go ahead and try me.”

“Well, I wanted a son.” He paused when he saw how I reacted. “Not that I’m not grateful for you, Bren, because I am. But in my business, you need a son to pass down what you’ve earned. That’s all there is to it, and I wanted to be able to keep everything in the family.”

“But Colin isn’t your son.”

“No, not exactly, he isn’t. But I took him in and raised him and taught him everything he knows about the business. He did some things for me over the last few years you were away, some very difficult things, and I owe him a lot. That’s why he got the big promotion he did, even though there are other men who think they deserve it more.”

“Do they deserve it more?”

He shrugged. “Maybe, but Colin is one of the smartest, most capable men I have.”

“But that doesn’t explain why you’re adopting him.”

“I want to make it legal. I know it seems strange that I would care about what’s legal and what isn’t, but it will make things easier in the long run. The Mob respects family above all else, and making him official will help solidify him as my son.”

“Okay, I get that. But what gave you the idea to do it now?”

He nodded, comprehending. “That was Davin, actually. He suggested I adopt Colin the day after you called, actually.”

“So, it’s all just a political thing? I mean, he’s not really my brother.”

I stared at him and hoped he understood what I was trying to get at.

“What do you mean? You don’t think of him as a brother?”

“No, I mean, I guess. But he’s not really my brother.”

“No, he isn’t. Not biologically, at least.”

I let out a long sigh and relaxed back into the couch. That was a good first step, at least. I needed Dad to understand that Colin and I weren’t siblings, not really. I knew that he would freak if he knew what was happening between the two of us, if there really was anything happening, but at least he wasn’t under some crazy delusion that we really were brother and sister.

“But does that matter?” he asked, looking at me.

I shrugged and didn’t answer.

“The two of you were never close back then, but you did live in the same house for a year. He was like an older brother to you.” He paused and looked at me. “He still is.”

“Yeah, an older brother.”

“It would mean a lot to me, Bren, if you could treat him like a part of the family. I know it’s strange and a big adjustment, and I know you were away for a long time, but you’re back now. I want us to all be together.”

I nodded, though inwardly groaned. “Okay, I’ll try.”

“Good. It would mean a lot to me if we could all be a family.”

The last thing I wanted was to be Colin’s family. Family members didn’t do what I wanted to do with him, but I couldn’t disappoint my dad. Especially not when he was trying so hard to fix the mistake that I had made.

“I promise I’ll try.”

He stood up. “Okay, kiddo. I have to get going again. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Call if you need anything.”

“I will.”

He smiled at me again and walked out. I heard the front door open then shut, and briefly I wondered where he slept most nights, since he was so rarely at his own house.

Our conversation played over in my head as I lay there on the couch staring up at the ceiling.
I can’t think of him like a brother, even if I wanted to,
I realized. Worse, I knew that if I acted on what I wanted then I would be disappointing my father.

Which meant that I was stuck.

Annoyed at my situation, and angry at myself, I got up from the couch and went upstairs to take a shower.

––––––––

T
he music on my phone was loud, which probably explained why I didn’t hear the door open. I had just finished shaving my legs, and was about to shampoo my hair, when a voice made me nearly jump out of the tub.

“Cleaning up for me?”

“Colin?”

I heard him laugh. “Yeah, it’s me.”

“Fuck, you scared me. What are you doing in here?”

“Checking up on you. Is everything okay here?”

“Everything is fine. You can’t come into the shower whenever you want to.”

“I have to make sure you’re safe at all times, even when you’re naked and soaking wet.”

“Don’t make that sound dirty. It’s the opposite of dirty. I’m getting clean.”

I could practically hear him grinning. “You have those yoga pants prepared?”

“No deal. You cut that outing short.”

“Something important came up. And duration wasn’t part of it.”

“Did you catch him?” I held my breath.

He paused. “No, he’s still out there.”

I could hear the disappointment and anger thick in his voice.

“You will.”

“You’re fucking right I will.”

“Okay, why are you still in here?”

“You want me to go, say the word.”

I paused. “I talked to my dad earlier.”

I heard him lean against something, probably the sink.

“Yeah? What was O’Brian doing here?”

“Checking up on me, apparently.”

“Things still weird there?”

“Getting less weird. Where does he stay when he’s not here, by the way?”

“Sometimes he sleeps on the couch in his office at the pub. Sometimes he stays at his other apartment around the corner.”

“He’d rather sleep on a couch than in his enormous room here?”

“It’s a nice couch.”

“Seriously, Colin.”

“He’s a busy man. He doesn’t always have the time or the energy to come back home.”

“Yeah, must be hard running a mob of violent criminals.”

“You have no idea.”

“He said something else weird, actually.”

“What’s that?”

I paused, not sure I wanted to say it. But for some reason, the idea of sharing it with Colin made me feel a little better. He was the only other person in the whole world that would understand what it really meant to let my dad down.

“He said he wants us to be a family. You know, since I’m home.”

Colin snorted. “Yeah? Like the Brady Bunch?”

“I guess.”

“We both know it’s not real, Bren.”

“He doesn’t know that.”

“I don’t give a fuck what he thinks anymore.”

I pulled the curtain partially open and looked out at him. He gazed back at me, his arms crossed and his back leaning up against the sink, his face a mask of anger.

“That seems like a dangerous thing to say in your line of work.”

“Right now, I don’t care what’s dangerous and what isn’t.”

I stared at him. “What do you want, Colin?”

He pushed off the sink, moving with a languid grace, making intense eye contact.

“You know what I want.”

“You can’t do this.”

He stood right in front of me but didn’t move to do anything. I wanted him to tear open the curtain and take me right there in the shower, but I couldn’t act. My dad’s words were still ringing in my ears.

“I can do whatever I want. You weren’t complaining earlier.”

“That was a mistake,” I said, looking away.

“Didn’t feel like a mistake.” He got closer. “It felt like you were moaning in my mouth. It felt like you wanted my thick cock between your legs.”

“Colin,” I said, blushing again. I hated how easily he made me squirm. It wasn’t like I had never been with a man before, but there was something about him that made me flush.

“I can see it all over your face. You want me to taste you.”

“We can’t do this.”

He grinned. “You keep saying that. But your body says something different.”

“What’s it saying?”

“You know. I want to hear you say it.”

I looked back at him, at his intense stare, and couldn’t stop myself. Something inside of me snapped, and I couldn’t think about anything other than the incredibly gorgeous, cocky asshole staring at me.

“I want you,” I said softly. I don’t know why I did or where it came from, but I couldn’t stop myself.

“Say it all. Tell me what you want.”

I stared at his chiseled jaw and his muscled body. I could feel myself blushing, but I had come this far. “I want you to taste me.”

Without another word, he pushed the shower curtain open, stepped into the water, and kissed me. His clothes were soaking through but he didn’t seem to care as his hands roamed over my skin, pausing only to fit my breasts into his palms. Despite the steam and the warm water I felt myself shaking for him, needing exactly what only he could give me.

Suddenly, he dropped down to his knees and hooked his arms under my legs. He lifted my right foot up and placed it on the rim of the tub as he began to kiss my inner thighs.

“Colin,” I gasped, and he looked up at me.

Water dripped from his perfect face and soaked through his clothes, causing them to cling to his body. I gasped as he bit me softly.

“I’ve been thinking about this for years,” he said.

“Your clothes.”

“Fuck the clothes. Fuck everything else. Fuck, Bren, I want you.”

I intertwined my fingers through his hair as his mouth began to kiss and lick at my soaked-through spot. I gasped again as his tongue found my clit, licking and sucking hungrily. He was like an animal, working me with skill and precision, but also hunger and passion. His hands squeezed my ass while he licked my clit, alternating between soft pressure and a warm sucking sensation.

“Shit, Colin,” I moaned.

I felt his tongue roll down the length of me, and press its warm softness into my clit. He licked like that, rolling up and down, lapping up every inch of my skin. I couldn’t help but throw my head back and let out soft moans, confident that he’d hold me in place. My knees were shaking as pleasure rolled through me.

His strong arms kept me stable, though, as his mouth and tongue continued to lick and suck at my soaked clit. I wasn’t sure if I was hot from the shower’s steam or hot from the incredibly sexy man’s mouth working my pussy. Probably the latter. I had never felt so deeply free and pleasured and controlled all at once, and I knew that he wouldn’t let me fall, not until I came on his tongue.

“God, you’re delicious,” he mumbled as he reached up and felt my breast.

“Keep going,” I moaned, beginning to roll my hips.

I gyrated, working my clit against his soft and hard tongue and teeth, and he grabbed my ass again, pressing me up against his face. I practically rode his mouth as his tongue fucked me and I moaned with abandon, my hands pulling at his hair. He didn’t grunt or budge an inch, only squeezed my ass and licked my clit with alternating soft and hard deft strokes, not letting up.

I felt it beginning to build through me as I worked my hips faster. He matched my pace, working his tongue along my length and clit, sucking and moving in fast swirls. His muscles stood out in his arms as he supported more and more of my weight. As the orgasm got closer, I knew my knees were practically useless.

I stared down at his face, my mouth hanging open, my entire world shrunk down to nothing but his perfect mouth working my soaked-through clit. I couldn’t think of anything else. He held me up against the wall as my back began to arch and my skin began to vibrate.

The orgasm rolled through me like a hammer, taking away everything with it.

“Oh fuck, Colin, fuck, Colin, keep going,” I moaned loudly, my fingers digging into his head. My voice echoed in the otherwise empty bathroom, the steam fogging up the mirror. He squeezed my ass in response, licking every inch of my clit, as I came on his tongue and his face.

His strong arms had to support my weight as I lost myself for a second. As the orgasm crested and began to subside, I tried to stand, and he reacted by lessening his grip on my body. Slowly, so painfully and incredibly and amazingly and excruciatingly slowly the orgasm passed and he moved away from my pussy with one last kiss.

I leaned back against the shower wall, panting and gaping at him. I had never been taken like that before, like I was his thing to play with. He licked and ate me like my pussy was his prize.

“I loved hearing my name,” he said, grinning.

“Holy shit,” was all I could say.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous.” He kissed my stomach and my breasts, standing up.

I couldn’t believe I had given in to that, couldn’t believe what I said. I couldn’t believe I let my future stepbrother lick me in my dad’s shower. It all came spiraling down on me, but instead of panicking I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest.