Cocked: A Stepbrother Romance (33 page)

It wasn’t exactly early, so I doubted it was my dad. Plus, from what I remembered, he didn’t really hang around the house very much. I walked down the cramped stairs and poked my head out into the kitchen. Sitting down at the island was Colin, sipping some coffee and looking at a newspaper.

I smirked. “Good morning.”

He looked up. “Morning, beautiful.”

“No, don’t even start already.”

He shrugged and put the paper down. “Coffee is on and I made breakfast.”

“You made breakfast? I didn’t think you cooked.”

“I don’t. I bought it from the deli on the corner, which is as good as making it.”

I laughed. “That’s not cooking, that’s buying.”

He gave an exaggerated shrug as I poured myself a cup of coffee. There was a little pile of bagels plus some cream cheese. I grabbed one, nibbling at a corner.

“What’s on the schedule, Princess?”

I ignored the nickname. “I’m not sure. Are you following me around all day?”

He shook his head. “Nope, I have my own shit to take care of. Just making conversation.”

I sat down across from him. “What do you do, anyway? Besides breaking knees and cracking skulls.”

He sipped his coffee, a weird smile on his perfect face. “Basically just that.”

I imagined him bringing a baseball bat down on some poor guy’s legs. Even though he looked amazing in my mind's eye, all sweaty and intense, it made me shiver.

“I don’t want to know the details, do I?”

“It’s probably a lot more boring than you think.”

“Yeah? You go into an office every morning too, I bet.”

“Fuck no, no office.” He grinned. “Not
that
boring.”

“Well, whatever. So long as you’re not in my hair all day.”

“Don’t pretend like you’re not going to be bored out of your mind without me.”

“Please. The day I’m bored because you’re not around is the day I’ll eat my own shoe.”

He looked down. “What size do you wear?”

I rolled my eyes and he laughed. I took a sip of coffee and felt a little bit better. The hangover was still nipping at the edges of my brain but between the caffeine and the brushed teeth I was beginning to feel a little more human.

“Since when do you read the newspaper, anyway?” I asked him.

“Got to stay current in our line of work.”

“Oh yeah? Seeing which friends got arrested in the crime blotter?”

He laughed. “Yeah, actually. Sometimes.”

I grinned. “Anybody today?”

“Let’s see.” He turned a few pages, then cleared his throat. “Ah, here’s Mickey the Nose, pinched for stealing candy from babies.”

I laughed. “Mickey the Nose?”

“Thought it sounded suitably 1930s gangster-like.”

“Oh yeah, that’s perfect.”

He put the paper down and grinned. “See, you’re already warming up to me.”

I looked away and realized he was right. I loved staring at his perfect jaw as he spoke, and couldn’t help but get fixated on his full lips. Plus, I hadn’t laughed much in a while, ever since Vince took over my life.

“Maybe you’re not as repulsive as I thought.”

“See, Princess? Progress. Soon you’ll be knocking on my door, begging for me to finish what I started the other night.”

I rolled my eyes. And there he was, back to his usual self. “That’s doubtful.”

“You don’t think I noticed your heavy breathing when I grabbed you up there?”

“I think that was from revulsion.”

“I don’t think so. I’ve seen the look you gave me plenty of times before.”

“Annoyance? Hatred?”

“Pure desire, Princess.”

I threw my bagel at him and he laughed. “And stop calling me Princess,” I said.

He stood up and shrugged his shoulders, still grinning his perfectly infuriating and incredibly charming smile.

“Sorry, can’t help myself sometimes.”

“Heading out?”

“Yeah, I am. Call me if you need anything.”

“What’s your number?”

“It’s in your phone.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Did you take my phone?”

He laughed. “No, you’ll have a missed call. That’s me.”

I relaxed. Taking my phone, scrolling through my texts, that was the sort of thing Vince used to do. He said that if I had nothing to hide, if he could really trust me, then I should be completely open and honest with him. But of course, because of his work, I couldn’t ever look at his phone. That was just one of the many ways he guilted me into letting him control everything.

“Yeah, okay. Sounds good.”

He gave me a funny look. “Everything okay?”

I nodded. “Have a good day cracking skulls.”

He laughed. “Have a good day being bored as hell without me.”

Before I could think of a good retort, he walked out of the kitchen. I heard the front door open then shut, and I was alone in the house for the first time since I had come home.

I looked around. The place had been my home for most of my life, but it felt foreign and empty and strange. When I was young, it was almost never quiet. But suddenly, it felt oppressive, like I didn’t belong there or something.

With a sigh I got up, taking my coffee with me, and decided to try and be a productive human being.

––––––––

I
leaned back in my chair, enjoying the morning sun drying my hair. After another cup of coffee, and a long, hot shower, I felt back to my normal self. I looked down at my phone, and frowned at the missed call. Not trying to read too much into it, I added Colin into my contacts, and then kept scrolling down until I stopped at a familiar name. I smiled to myself as I tapped it and the phone started to ring.

“Hello?”

“Nick? It’s Bren, how are you?”

“Oh shit, hey! It’s been forever.”

I laughed. Nick and I had been friends back in high school and had kept in touch through the years. He had visited once or twice, but we had drifted apart in the last few months, mostly because Vince hadn't wanted me to be friends with too many guys. Nick was gay, but that didn’t seem to matter to Vince. Actually, if anything, it was probably worse. Nick lived in Philly and was a “working artist,” which meant that he was a barista at Starbucks and tried to sell his paintings on the sidewalk.

“I know, way too long.”

“What are you up to?”

“Well, I’m actually in Philly.”

There was a pause. “No shit? You haven’t been back here in forever.”

“I know, it’s insane. Anyway, I wanted to see if you wanted to get lunch.”

“I absolutely do.”

I smiled to myself as we set a time and place, and I hung up. It was really good getting back in touch with Nick; he had been one of the few people that I really trusted back when all the shit first happened. I couldn’t tell him all the details, but he probably figured it all out on his own anyway. As far as I knew, though, he thought that my dad and I had fought about me going away to school, and that was what had caused our falling out. He had tried to get me to come back home a bunch of times over the years, but I always made excuses.

And then suddenly, I was home. It wasn’t exactly planned, but it happened. I had grown up in Philly; I knew its streets better than anywhere, even New York. But for some reason, it all felt so strange to me. As I looked out across the skyline at the tall buildings glinting in the sunlight, I had the strange sensation that I didn’t belong there. I wanted it to feel like home again, but I knew it would take time. And it was strange, trying to find my place in the city that was supposed to be my home, especially with Colin around all the time.

I shook my head, refusing to let my mind wander over him. My phone vibrated in my hand, giving me an excuse to ignore the strange desire that flooded through me every time Colin appeared in my mind.

I looked at the screen and my heart almost stopped.

Vince: Philly is such a piece of shit city. It smells awful.

I stared at the message for what felt like an hour.
He’s in the fucking city
, I kept thinking over and over. He had actually followed me. I never thought in a million years that he would follow me. Sure, there were threats, but this text was different. I stood up and had the absurd desire to throw my phone off the roof, but decided to close the text instead.

What was I supposed to do? My first instinct was to call Colin and tell him about the message, but I stopped myself. Was I going to go running to Colin every time there was a problem? I couldn’t let myself get involved with that. I sat back down, heart thumping, confused and angry and upset. Vince knew the kind of people that I came from. He knew that it meant following me back to my dad’s city.

He must have been insane.

And he was insane. The blonde sucking his cock, the sting of his palm, it all came rushing back all over again. I clenched my fists as fear filled me. The piece of shit was an abusive asshole, and I had let him rule my life long enough.

Philadelphia was a big place. There was no way he knew where I lived, let alone would randomly find me out on the street somewhere. I wasn’t going to cancel on Nick just because my psycho ex sent me some crazy text.

I went back inside and resolved myself to getting dressed. Going out with Nick, although a tiny act, was going to prove that I had control of my own life.

Even if it didn’t feel like I did.

––––––––

“S
o, what are you doing home?” Nick said as we opened our menus.

It was one o’clock in the afternoon, and Sabrina’s was packed. It was one of my favorite places to eat, though, and just had to go there for my first meal back in the city. It was absolutely adorable, with a classic diner counter running down the right side, and home-style booths set up all over the place.

“I got sick of New York, I guess.”

“Well shit, I’m happy to hear that. New York is the worst.”

Nick made a face. He was handsome, my age, and skinny. His hair was long and pulled back into a ponytail and he was wearing a fashionable cardigan over a thin T-shirt and cut-off jeans. His Converse shoes were old and dirt-spotted, but were probably dirty on purpose. Nick had an energy about him that I had always liked, and it made me want to have fun when we spent time together.

“New York is okay, I guess.”

He made a face. “Whatever. You were brain washed up there.”

I laughed. If only he knew.

“Anyway, where are you staying?” he asked.

“At my dad’s place.”

“That old mansion? I thought you two didn’t talk?”

“We talked, but we hadn’t seen each other since I left. We spent time together for the first time in a while last night, actually.”

“Whoa, what happened?”

I shrugged. “It was pretty good. He had a little welcome home party. I guess things are okay between us now.”

He nodded. “I’m glad to hear that. I never really understood what happened.”

I shrugged. “Teenage drama, mostly.”

“Well, here’s to being home.”

We clinked water glasses and I laughed.

“So, is that other guy still living with you? What’s-his-name?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh, Colin. Yeah, he lived with you, right?”

I laughed. “I can’t believe you remember him.”

“I don’t forget a guy like him.”

“What’s that mean?”

He gave me a look like I was an idiot. “I guess he moved out by now.”

“Actually, he’s living there right now.”

His whole face lit up like I had offered him a million dollars.

“Really? Is he home right now?”

“No, and he’s straight, so relax.”

“Straight or not, I would love to see him again. He’s hot as hell.”

“Okay, that’s enough. He’s supposed to be like my adopted brother or something, remember?”

“I remember, but I also remember you didn’t think of him as a sibling at all.”

I cringed. I had forgotten that I told Nick about what had happened between us.

“That was a long time ago.”

“Not
that
long ago. What’s he look like now?”

“The same, I guess.”

He laughed. “That means he’s even hotter.”

I was definitely not going to admit it to Nick, but he was absolutely right. The feeling of my body crushed up against Colin’s sculpted chest, all the dirty and flirtatious things he kept saying to me, it all came back in a rush and I had to sip my drink. Nick didn’t seem to notice how flustered I was because the waitress came over and took our orders.

“So, what’s it like sharing a house with your hunky step?” Nick asked as the waitress walked away to put our orders in.

“He’s not my step, and he’s not hunky.”

“Oh, come on. Can we cut the act?”

I laughed and shook my head. “Never going to happen.”

“Fine. Still, it must be a little weird after ....” He trailed off, giving me a look.

“We’re not talking about that.”

“You and him?”

I laughed. “Everyone, anyone. That was a long time ago.”

“You’re going to tell me that this sexy as hell guy that lives in your house is no big deal? This guy you have an unfinished past with?”

“It’s not like that.”

He grinned and leaned forward. “Come on, Bren. It’s me. We both know it’s exactly like that.”

For half a second I wanted to tell him everything. I wanted to tell him how I had practically drooled all over Colin’s post-shower body wrapped in a towel, and how he had pulled me against him in my bedroom.

But for whatever reason, I decided to keep that to myself.

“Nope, not at all.” I sat back and crossed my arms.

He sighed, mirroring my pose. “Fine, whatever. Be like that if you want.”

“I will.” I smirked at him.

He laughed and shook his head as the waitress came back with a plate of nachos we decided to share. I grabbed a huge, multi-chip portion and took a big bite. Nick laughed at me as he deftly swallowed three chips whole.

“Anyway, hey, speaking of guys, whatever happened to that dude you were dating the last time we talked?” he asked suddenly.

I blinked. I had totally forgotten that I told him about Vince. That must have been pretty early on in the relationship, before Vince had turned full-on psycho asshole and I wasn’t allowed to talk to Nick, or really anyone for that matter. I tried to think back to what Nick knew about Vince, but genuinely couldn’t remember. I decided to keep some things to myself, even though I was beginning to feel a little guilty over withholding so much information from him.