Club Scars (18 page)

“At least it’s your old man,” Ginny said, ducking away from the half-hearted swat Kat swung at her. She shrugged, glancing around. “If you aren’t sure take a toy for a trial run.”

Kat winced. “I feel guilty doing that.”

Ginny’s mouth dropped open in disbelief and she gave a humorless bark of laughter. “Like he’s not jerking off in the shower? Jesus, Kat. Besides, the test drive would be for a good cause. You’re trying to see if you’re ready to get back in the saddle. I think he’d forgive that.”

Kat looked back at Crux, fighting the blush Ginny’s incredulous response had spawned.

“If he catches you, just tell him you thought it best to start out on the kiddy rides before jumping straight to the Tower of Terror.”

Kat clamped a hand over her mouth in a desperate attempt to stay the spray of Pepsi. Cola dribbled down her chin onto Cam’s sleeper as she struggled to smother her laughter. Ginny gave her amusement full rein but was sweet enough to rescue her nephew before hurrying over to grab a handful of napkins. She tossed them down in Kat’s lap and then stole one back to wipe the front of Cam’s outfit.

“Sweet Jesus, Tower of Terror?” Kat choked out, tears rolling down her cheeks as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

“What?” Gin asked innocently. “It was the best amusement park ride phallic innuendo I could come up with.”

“You’re bad.”

“Nah, just blunt.”

Kat shook her head at the queen’s smirk but had to give it to her, that had been a good one. “Shameless,” she muttered.

“You needed a good laugh,” Ginny said fawning over the baby. “If you want a romantic night without interruptions I would be happy to keep the little man.”

“What’s your big man going to think of that?”

“He’s cool with it,” Ginny said, looking up through the shroud of her hair as she kissed on Cam. “I told him about the will. He said the same thing I did. Nothing’s going to happen to you, but we would be honored. Zeke knows that I would be out of my mind if something ever happened to you and he isn’t ready to deal with that.”

“Right back at you, sister,” Kat said with a little shudder. The thought of losing Gin was second only to Crux or Cam. “How did the topic go from merry to morbid?”

“I just wanted you to know that I
did
talk it over with Zeke. You said Crux was concerned.”

“I’ll call the lawyer Monday and see when I can get an evening appointment for after Crux gets out of work. I don’t want to put this off,” she said, reaching over to stroke her forefinger over her son’s tiny hand. “He changes everything.”

The brush continued to glide through Kat’s long hair, but her beautiful eyes seemed miles away. A soft sigh lifted her shoulders but she still didn’t turn his way. What was she thinking? She’d been quiet since they’d left the club house. He frowned; trying to go over the evening in his head looking for what might have ruined what should have been a good time. Though he hadn’t spent every second at her side, it wasn’t often that he didn’t have an eye or ear trained on his wife. The corner of his lips curled in amusement. Some called it overly possessive or protective. He called it love.

“What’s bothering you?” he asked.

She jumped, a startled curse exploding from her lips as the heavy brush thudded audibly against the side of her head. He winced and pushed off the door frame.

“You’re awfully quiet.”

Kat’s shoulder lifted in a slight shrug. “Just a long day I guess. Cam and I spent most of it at the club house getting things ready.”

“Just because the kid is here doesn’t mean you don’t need to take care of yourself,” he said, frowning again. He searched her face, looking for signs of exhaustion or stress.  

Tossing the brush on her nightstand, Kat shifted on the bed and patted the mattress in invitation. Not bothering to hide a yawn, Crux flopped down beside her. She ran her fingers through his hair and leaned down for a kiss.

“I’m fine.”

He pulled her back down for another kiss, savoring the soft moan that vibrated between them as his tongue swept into her mouth to duel with hers.

“I’ve been missing this,” she mumbled against his lips when he paused for breath.

“Three more weeks,” he groaned, cupping the back of her skull to tip her forehead against his.

“What if I said we don’t have to wait?”

His hands shifted to her shoulders to push her up. His eyes narrowed as they slid over the hopeful expression on his wife’s face.

“You have my attention,” he said, trying to keep his face and tone neutral. 

She shook her head with a self-conscious little laugh. “I’ve been horny as hell and I asked Gin tonight if she and Zeke waited six weeks after their boys and she laughed at me. She said that they waited four after Rhys, but barely made it two after Garrett.”

Crux frowned, mulling over her words. The last damn thing he wanted to do was rush things and hurt her. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

She pulled back, anger and hurt flashing in her eyes before a mask he hadn’t seen in years dropped into place. She nodded and slid to her side of the bed.

“You’re probably right. I’m going to grab some left-over peach cobbler and ice-cream. Do you want some?”

“Maybe that didn’t come out right.”

“It’s fine. I understand,” she said, moving to the door. She paused, her hand dangling inside the basinet. Her voice hummed with a tension her body didn’t show. “Did you want some cobbler?”

“Don’t do this, Kat,” he said flatly. “Don’t close yourself off.”

She looked up, her face emotionless in the dim light. His fists clenched.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

She wet her lips. “I know.”

His eyes narrowed. There was something in her voice, something he didn’t like. It hit him like a mule kick to the gut. She was staring at his fists.

“No!” he said, his disgust at himself making the word come out with more force than he’d intended. He extended his hands, spread wide in entreaty. “You know that isn’t what I meant. I’m not going to hit you. Don’t twist my words. As much as I want you right now, and you know I do, I was saying that I don’t want to rush things and risk hurting you just to get my rocks off.”

Some of the tension left her body and her shoulders slumped. “Why didn’t you just say that?”

Her voice sounded small and lost. She didn’t look at him. Closing his eyes for a moment to rein in his temper, Crux rolled from the bed. She tensed and he forced himself to slow his step.

“You’re being defensive and reading shit into things. You know that there isn’t a woman alive that lights my fire like you do, baby,” he said softly.

“I miss you so much,” she whispered. She looked up and there was raw longing in her eyes.

He cupped the side of her face, wiping a runaway tear off her cheekbone with a swipe of his thumb. “I’m ri--” His voice came out strangled with the emotions coursing through him and he had to clear his throat awkwardly. “I’m right here. We’re more than fucking and you know that.”

She shook her head. “Say what you want, but it’s a part of our relationship, of us. Shit, we didn’t know one another twelve hours before we jumped in the sack. Before these last three weeks or so we’ve rarely went forty-eight hours without jumping one another if we were in the same zip code. Only twice in fifteen years have we gone longer than that. Once when I had the flu so damn bad I thought I was going to die, and the other time was when you fucked up your back. Even then I blew you despite muscle spasms. Lately I just don’t feel…” Her hands opened and closed in the front of his shirt and she visibly fought to find the words to express herself. “Connected! I don’t feel connected. I feel vulnerable, alone, and scared.”

Crux cupped her face on both sides and leaned his forehead down to press against hers. “You’re never alone. I promise you that. Since that first fucked up night when we spilled shit to each other that we’d never shared with anyone, we’ve had a crazy bond. I know Cam changes things, but not that.”

She searched his eyes and finally her body slumped, all the tension fleeing her. “You know that feeling that everything is going too well?” she whispered. “You and Cam are more than I ever dreamed of. I thought you and I had it all and then you gave me him. Sometimes I stare at you both and wonder what I ever did to deserve you both.  Then in the same thought, I’m so afraid that it’s all going to be ripped away.”

“I warned you when we got together that I was never going to let you go. Cam just doubly sealed the deal, baby. You two belong to me and I protect what’s mine. That abusive prick is playing a dangerous game. Look at me.” He waited until their eyes locked. “I will see that son-of-a-bitch dead before I allow him to hurt you or Cam.”

“I don’t want to lose you either.”

“I need you to believe me.”

“I believe you.”

Crux enfolded her in his arms, hugging her tight. “Remember, brotherhood is better than a legal piece of paper. If anything happens to me the club will take care of you and Cam. You know that.”

She nodded into his chest and hugged him tighter. “I know. But they won’t keep me warm at night or make my toes curl like you do.”

“They better hope I’m dead if they decide to try,” he growled. “And you don’t get a free fucking pass if I’m locked up either.”

“It’s too late now. I had a little fantasy about making Mox my boy toy and now he’s engaged. Do you think Gin would’ve objected?”

Pushing her out away from him, Crux looked at her incredulously. The innocent shrug she gave him was adorable.

“You’re so damn lucky I love you.”

Genuine amusement and mischief sparkled in her eyes, lifting the last of the sadness. He breathed a little easier. Jokes and hilarity were Kat’s way of dealing with fear. The crushing fist around his heart let up a little. He needed his strong old lady.   

“Do you think we should move the basinet out of the bedroom if we’re going to do it? He’s little. He can’t see over the edge. The lights will be out,” she mused, playing with Cam’s tiny sock.

“If we were going to traumatize the kid I think we’ve already done it. As often as we did it while you were prego I’m surprised he didn’t come out with a blowhole.”

Kat snorted and then started to laugh, burying her face into his shirt again.

“You’re awful,” she muttered and laughed harder.

Crux smiled into her hair and rocked her slightly, her laughter soothing his tattered nerves. He took a deep breath and tightened his hold. They were going to get through this if it was the last damn thing he did.

Thirteen

“The restaurant owner had a sawed-off shotgun. Your daughter and grandson were standing right behind her. As I explained the other day, sir, I thought it best to leave and defuse the situation.”

“So in answer to my question, you never actually saw Katrina pick up the envelope?” John asked again, leaning back in his chair and steepling his fingers.

“I placed her keys on top of the letter. While I didn’t see her retrieve either, she was quite adamant in her desire for her keys.”

“And yet it has been a week and not only have I not heard from my daughter, but the check remains uncashed.”  

“Unfounded or not, your daughter was also quite resolute in her disdain and distrust for you, sir. She made it clear she wanted nothing from you. It would be reasonable to surmise that she stuck to her convictions and destroyed the check despite your generosity,” the private investigator said dryly.

“Surmise,” John repeated, tapping his upper lip with his tented fingers. “Interesting choice of words, Mr. Carson. Do you make it a habit to suggest that your employers infer, assume, or
guess
the outcome and success of your assignments?”

The retired Army Ranger’s lips pressed into a thin line at the derision in his voice, but when he spoke, his tone was even.

“No, sir.”

“Then I believe a return trip to Trinity Falls is in order, and this time, it would be in your best interest to see the mission through to the end. I’ve tried to be nice. I want you to visit with Katrina and make her understand that we can do this the easy way or the hard way and that decision is completely in her hands.”