Authors: Todd Strasser
“Shush.”
Kai counted up to twenty-five. “There's gonna be a right turn coming up.”
“Yeah, I see it,” Bean said.
Kai opened his eyes just as Bean turned onto a dirt road that went into the woods.
“What next?” Bean asked.
“Quiet.” Kai closed his eyes and counted as they bounced down the dirt road. This time he counted to fifteen. “Left turn.”
“Yup, there it is,” said Bean.
They turned left. Kai closed his eyes and counted to twenty “Okay, stop.” He opened his eyes. The dirt road was hardly wide enough for the hearse.
“This it?” Bean asked.
“Not quite,” Kai said. “Where's the flashlight?”
“Behind you.”
Kai reached behind the seat and came up with a heavy-duty flashlightâthe kind that ran off a nine-volt battery. It was just what he'd hoped for. He rolled down the passengerside window and turned the flashlight on.
“Okay, let's go nice and slow.” Kai aimed the flashlight into the woods. Bean drove slowly. The dirt road was full of bumps and potholes and the hearse creaked and squeaked as it lumbered along.
“You can see why Goldilocks prefers a Jeep,” Bean said.
A small pair of emerald green eyes glittered at them from the dark. A possum. Bean practically came to a stop to give the sluggish creature time to get out of the way.
“You've heard of guard dogs?” he asked. “There's a guard possum.”
Kai kept scanning the woods with the flashlight. “No offense, Bean, but was that supposed to be funny?”
“Just nervous babbling,” Bean admitted.
“I'm telling you, dude, there's nothing to be nervous about,” said Kai.
They drove a little farther. Kai swept the beam through the woods, looking for the shed.
“You sure we re on the right road?” Bean asked.
“Pretty sure,” Kai answered.
“Seems like we should have found it by now.”
“Don't forget, last time we came down this road a lot faster,” Kai said. “So it may seem like we've been driving longer, but it's only because we're going slower. There it is.” Kai held the beam steady on the shed, just barely visible through the trees. “Get as close as you can and stop.”
A few seconds later Bean stopped the hearse. “You know, something just occurred to me. Up till now I've been worried that Goldilocks was gonna nail us while we were stealing his boards.”
“We're not stealing,” Kai said. “We're simply returning the boards to their rightful owner.”
“Yeah, okay, Robin Hood, whatever,” Bean said. “But here's what I just realized. It doesn't matter whether he catches us in the act or not, because as soon as he discovers the boards are gone, he's gonna know who took them.”
“Not necessarily,” Kai said. “We don't know who else he's shown the boards to. Now come on, let's do this fast and get out of here.
You have the hacksaw and the WD-Forty?”
“Of course,” Bean said. They got out of the hearse. Bean opened the back door and took out the hacksaw and spray can of oil. He and Kai walked through the dark trees toward the shed.
“I understand the hacksaw, but what's the oil for?” Bean asked.
“Cuts down on the noise the saw makes going through metal,” Kai said.
“Sometimes you scare me,” Bean said as they made their way around the tree trunks and through the brush.
“Why's that?” Kai asked.
“Because when most people use a hacksaw, they don't have to worry about how much noise it makes. The only people who have to worry about noise are the ones who are doing something where they don't want to get caught. Know what I mean? So tell me Kai, where'd you learn this little trick?”
Kai knew exactly where he'd learned to make a hacksaw work silently About a year before, a store his father had been using was suddenly bolted shut by the landlord for nonpayment of rent. It was one of those rare times when Pat had failed to leave town before the
landlord figured out that he was getting stiffed. Since the store was padlocked with all the shirts, transfers, heat press, and computer still inside, the Alien Frog Beast had had no choice but to break in during the night. The only other option would have been to pay the rent he owed. Which, of course, was out of the question.
“Just something I picked up along the way,” Kai said, taking the hacksaw from Bean and handing him the flashlight. “Shine it on the latch.”
Bean aimed the flashlight. Kai had no intention of trying to saw through the padlock itself. That was case-hardened steel. It was the latch he was interested in. Especially where it crossed the gap between the old wooden doors. Kai placed the blade of the hacksaw on the latch and started to saw.
“Give it a shot,” he said when the metal screeched. “Just a little.”
Bean sprayed the oil, and continued to apply it each time the saw began to make noise. Kai sawed steadily. The latch was old and the metal soft. In less than five minutes he'd cut through it. He and Bean pulled open the doors. Bean flashed the light on the boards
and Kai quickly counted. All twelve were still there. Kai felt himself smile. Except for the banana yellow Yater, Curtis was going to get his boards back.
They carefully pulled the boards out of the shed and piled them into the back of the hearse, using towels and wet suits and anything else soft to keep them from banging against each other. When they were finished they pushed the shed doors closed and propped some large rocks against them.
“Got any duct tape?” Kai asked.
Bean went back to the hearse and got the roll he always kept. He gave it to Kai, who carefully taped the back of the latch together so it wouldn't be immediately obvious that someone had broken in.
“Smart,” Bean said as they walked back to the hearse. “So if Goldilocks drives by just to check, it'll look like everything's okay.”
“If we're lucky,” Kai said.
They got into the hearse and headed back out the dirt road. A few minutes later they turned onto Seaside Drive, went over the railroad tracks, and drove toward Sun Haven. Bean let out a loud sigh. “Man, am I glad that's over.”
“Me too.” Kai peered into the side-view
mirror. Far in the distance behind them, a pair of headlights appeared.
“I assume we're going to the Driftwood to drop the boards off,” Bean said.
“Not exactly.” The headlights behind them were growing larger. Whoever was driving the car was in a rush. Kai decided he was just being paranoid. Seaside Drive was a pretty heavily traveled road, and it could have been anyone.
“Not exactly?” Bean repeated. “Where are we taking them if not to Curtis?”
“I'll let you know,” Kai said, trying not to sound distracted, but the headlights had now caught up to them. He resisted the urge to turn around and look through the back window. With the hearse curtain in place it would be impossible to see anyway. Seaside Drive was empty, and the dashed white line down the center of the road allowed the car behind them to pass if the driver wanted to.
Only the driver didn't want to. Instead he stayed behind the hearse. Kai reminded himself again that it could be anyone, and there were a thousand reasons why the driver might decide not to pass. They were coming to an intersection with a traffic light. The light was green.
“Do me a favor?” Kai said. “Put on your left blinker and slow down as if you're going to make a turn.”
Bean instantly looked into the rearview mirror. “Why? We're not turning, are we?”
“No.”
“Then?”
“Just do it.”
Bean flicked on the blinker and started to slow down. The car behind them put on its blinker. They were almost at the intersection.
“Want me to turn?” Bean asked.
“No. Speed up and go straight.”
Bean sped up, and looked in the rearview mirror. Instead of turning, the car behind them did the same thing.
“Shit,” Bean muttered. Now he understood.
“Next intersection act like you're driving through and then quickly make a right,” Kai said.
“As long as it's not a dead end,” Bean added.
“Correct.”
The next intersection had four-way stop signs. Bean stopped, looked around, then accelerated as if he were going straight, only to hang a last-minute screeching right. Kai winced at the sound of the boards in the back
clunking into one another. He hated the thought of dinging them. The car behind them suddenly hung a right too.
“Please be a cop,” Bean muttered, looking into the side-view mirror. “Please be a cop.”
“Don't think so,” said Kai.
“Red Jeep?”
“Not that either.”
“Then maybe it's someone we don't know,” Bean said hopefully.
“Or it's Goldilocks with a friend,” said Kai.
Bean groaned loudly and kept driving through the dark.
“Any idea where this road goes?” Kai asked.
“Not a clue,” Bean said. He started to chew on the side of his thumb again. “I'm not happy. I'm really not happy. I'm
extremely
not happy.”
Kai had an idea. “He once called you on your cell phone, right?”
“Yeah? So?”
“Don't cell phones usually save the return numbers?”
Bean glanced at Kai. “Are you crazy?”
Kai pointed at the car behind them. “You
know a better way to find out if that's him?”
“You really are crazy,” Bean said.
“What's the problem?”
It was Bean's turn to gesture to the car following them. “What if it
is
him?”
“Then he already knows where we are, so what do we have to lose?”
“I hope you know what you're doing.” Bean dug his cell phone out of his pocket, and handed it to Kai, who went through the numbers, reading the names out loud until he got to Albert Hines.
“Never heard of that one,” Bean said. “Could be him.”
Kai pressed “send.” The phone rang, then someone answered. “Yeah?”
“Albert, that you?” Kai said.
“Yeah, who's this?”
“Where are you right now?” Kai asked.
There was silence for a moment, then Kai heard Goldilocks mutter to himself, “No fricken way.”
“You're at No Fricken Way?” Kai asked.
“This the shrooms kid?” Goldilocks asked.
“That's me.”
“You got my boards in that hearse?” Goldilocks asked.
“Guess that's you behind us,” Kai said.
“Fuck you.” Goldilocks hung up.
“It's him?” Bean gestured at the rearview mirror.
“Appears that way,” said Kai.
“I don't believe this,” Bean moaned.
They were headed down a narrow, winding, tree-lined road. No street lights. Just the thick trunks of trees on both sides. Here and there something streaked in the headlights as a toad hopped away and vanished into the weeds along the sides of the road.
“Don't try to talk me into losing them, okay?” Bean pleaded. “This ain't the movies. I'm not into high-speed chases.”
“My guess is, neither are they,” Kai said.
In the headlights a sign came into view:
PRIVATE ROAD BELLE HARBOR GOLF AND TENNIS CLUB NO TRESPASSING
“Crap,” Bean muttered. “Now what do we do?”
“Keep going,” said Kai.
T
he road was still lined with trees, but instead of weeds and brush, the shoulders were marked with large painted white stones and neatly mowed grass. It was clear they'd entered the grounds of a private country club. The headlights of the second car lit up the hearse's side-view mirrors.
“Do we have any idea what we're doing?” Bean asked.
“Nope,” answered Kai.
They bounced over a speed bump, then passed a small, empty guard's station on the right. It was hard to see in the dark, but there appeared to be an empty parking lot on the left. The road ahead led to a large
clubhouse. On the right were tennis courts.
The second car stayed behind them. Bean's cell phone rang. Kai looked at the incoming number. “It's him.” He pressed the phone to his ear. “Hey, Albert, enjoying the ride?”
“You're trapped,” Goldilocks said.
“How's that?”
“The only way out is the way you came in.”
“Thanks for telling me,” Kai said.
“You ready to get the shit kicked out of you?”
“By anyone I know?” Kai asked.
“It ain't gonna be so funny when you're spitting teeth.”
“Hey, that's a good line, Albert,” Kai said. “You're getting better.”
“I'm gonna enjoy this.” Once again Goldilocks hung up.
“What'd he say?” Bean asked nervously.
“He said he's gonna enjoy this.”
“Enjoy what?”
“Nothing important.”
“We have to do something, Kai,” Bean said.
“I know.” Kai peered through the windshield. Ahead was the clubhouse.
“Come on, dude,” Bean said anxiously, “we're running out of room.”
In front of the clubhouse was a round plot of lawn with a tall white statue fountain. The driveway circled the statue then rejoined the drive they were now on.
“Keep going,” Kai said.
“I gotcha,” Bean said. “If they follow us, we'll both go around and then head back out the way we came.”
“Exactly” Kai said.
Bean entered the circular part of the driveway and naturally headed to the right. The car behind them also entered the circular part. Only they headed left. Which meant both cars would meet head on in front of the clubhouse.
“Great idea, Kai,” Bean muttered.
“There.” Kai pointed through the windshield. “See that road?”
Bean squinted. Barely visible in the dark was a slight turnoff to the right. “No. I don't see any road. I see a path, like for a golf cart or something..”
“Take it,” Kai said.