Clockwork Twist : Dreamer (5 page)

Jonas gave Twist a weighted look.  Despite the goggles, Twist felt the blame for whatever was to come fall squarely on his shoulders for being curious.  Around them, the others seemed to be excited and eager to begin.

“Ellen, Jonas, please pick up your chairs and gather over here by Tom,” Daniel said. “Clarice and Teddy, why don't you go to sit with Tasha.  And Tasha, please focus on your heightened hearing for now, during your discussion.  Having all five senses affected is almost like cheating, you know.”

Tasha laughed cordially. “I'll do my best,” she said pleasantly.

“All right,” Daniel said, looking over the rest. “Now, Yumi, why don't you join Twist?  And Malik, would you mind joining them also?  I know your sight is conceptual, but...”

“Not a problem,” Malik said, already getting up from his seat.

“Wonderful,” Daniel said. “I'll move around among you.  Now, let's get started.”

After the first five minutes, Twist began to realize that neither Malik nor Yumi had any fear whatsoever of their own Sights.  As he listened to them speak together about the occasional annoyance of earthquakes or never finding a good chess partner, or the difficulties of relating to un-Sighted people who simply couldn't understand, Twist began to wonder if either of them could ever understand him.  He considered asking directly if either of them were ever afraid to use their Sights, or had to do things to lessen the effects of them, but for the moment neither of them paid him any attention.  The prospect of drawing undue sympathy kept him quiet.  Still, curiosity beckoned him to speak...

Malik looked to Twist suddenly and gave a sigh. “May I suggest that you go ahead and say it?”

“What?” Twist asked, jerking in surprise.

“Whatever it is you're trying to decide whether or not to mention,” Malik said patiently. “Your current indecision is buzzing like a gnat around my ears.”

“Sorry,” Twist said stiffly.

“It's all right,” Yumi said gently to Twist. “You don't have to be afraid to say anything to us.  We understand.  That's why we're all here tonight.”

From the lightness of her tone, Twist suspected that she most likely had no concept of what he wanted to say.  At the moment, they were speaking happily together.  When he thought of the topics that were prowling around his attention like a hungry predator, his heart began to beat quickly again.

“Oh, out with it, man,” Malik said, smiling at Twist as if he were being quite silly.  “You can't say anything that would shock us.”  Yumi smiled to him encouragingly.  Twist took a breath and tried to pick the lightest words.

“I'm sorry if this sounds strange,” he began, “but I've never really talked about this before.  Do you find that your Sights ever...” he paused, thinking that he might not have picked the best question to start on.  Malik gave him a tight smile that suggested impatience. “Do they ever stop you from doing anything?” he finally asked.

“Thank you,” Malik said with a relieved sigh. “But, what do you mean?”  Judging by her expression, Yumi didn't seem to follow him either.

“Well, you can feel the ground move,” Twist said to Yumi. “Do you ever want to get away from it?  Does your Sight ever make you afraid to go to earthquake-prone regions?”

“Oh, not at all,” she replied. “I was born in Japan, I live here in California, and those are both two of the very most active places.  Actually, I hate leaving the ground,” she went on wistfully. ''If anything, my Sight makes me not want to take airships anywhere because I like the feeling of being connected to the Earth.  I've never wanted to stop using it.”

“I see,” Twist toned, hoping he could slip back into silence now.

“I have a similar opinion,” Malik said to Twist. “Even if I do envy the chance to be surprised on occasion, my Sight has never stopped me from doing anything.  Why do you ask?”

Twist stared back at him.  He suddenly wished he'd listened to Jonas and stayed home.

“It's all right,” Yumi said.  They both stared at him expectantly.  Twist had a sudden, wild thought to make a break for the door.

“I get visions of damage from anything I touch,” he said, instead. “Clocks don't feel pain, or loneliness, or fear.  I don't mind touching them.  But my Sight works on everything, whether I want it to or not.”  Yumi glanced to Malik, who was watching Twist as if trying to unravel his words. “It works on people,” Twist muttered softly.

“Oh,” Yumi said, her eyes widening. “You mean, you can sense disease or injury?  That must be handy.  You should go into medicine.”

“I don't think that's quite it,” Malik said, still staring at Twist as if he were a trapped insect. “He mentioned loneliness and fear.”  Twist winced slightly.  Malik leaned closer to him. “You are talking about emotional damage, aren't you?”

Twist nodded.  It took a moment, but then Yumi caught up and gasped, looking at Twist in sudden sympathy.  He looked away from her, wishing desperately that he'd kept his mouth shut and run for the door when he'd had the chance.  For reasons he couldn't grasp, their concern for him only made him feel more and more nervous.  Myra's concern never felt this uncomfortable.  Jonas never stared at him like that when he was worried about him.

“So, you stop yourself from touching people, because you are afraid you might feel their more negative emotions?” Malik asked softly.

“I don't feel other peoples' emotions, exactly,” Twist muttered, shaking his head.  He couldn't get his eyes up to meet theirs at all now.  Each thought felt like a heavier burden than the last, and each word felt sharp on his tongue, but he knew it was too late now.  “I get a vision of the past every time.  From every person.  Even a light touch.  I haven't willingly touched another human being, except for Jonas, for as long as I can remember.”  He didn't have to look at their faces to sense their sudden pity.  Twist's mind retreated to comfortable ground, focusing on the gentle buzzing sensation in his neck until it grew in his awareness and pushed his discomfort gently away.

“It's always...” Yumi said after a pause, her voice drifting away for a moment. “I mean, don't you get nice visions sometimes?”

Twist looked up at her reluctantly and found exactly what he expected on her face. “Everyone is broken, somehow.  I've never found anyone who isn't.”

“But you said something about your friend,” Malik said, glancing across the room.

“Jonas is different,” Twist said quickly. “Our Sights don't work on each other.”

“What?” Malik asked, frowning.

“Is that weird, too?” Twist asked, watching Malik.

“So, you never get a vision from touching him?” Yumi asked, looking as if the thought was slippery. “But you do from everyone else?”

“Well, not a normal vision,” Twist said. “When we first met it was kind of … explosive.  But now, I just get a taste of his stronger emotions and ... and this empty white fog.  I've never seen whatever is broken in him.”

“What sort of fog?” Malik asked, sounding far more interested than Twist thought he should.  Twist felt oddly naked under his avid attention.  The wish that they would just stop asking questions and leave him in silence again was growing into a ravenous need.

“Just a fog,” Twist said, giving a sigh. “It's like a haze of his feelings.  Why are you asking me all of this?”  Somehow, asking the question directly only sharpened his discomfort.

“I've never heard of anything like it,” Malik said.

“Neither have I,” Yumi added, looking at Twist with thoughtful eyes.

“And you're certain that he's the only person your Sight reacts to like this?” Malik continued, sounding quite eager now.

“Completely.”

“Maybe you just haven't found the others,” Yumi suggested.

Twist stared at her for a moment as the implications ran about in his mind, setting fire to things.  He then shook his head, rejecting the idea. “No, there can't be anyone else.  I'd feel them, too.  I've only ever felt him.”

“What do you mean, feel?” Malik asked.

“Can't we talk about something else?” Twist asked. “I'm not very good at this.”

“At what, sharing?” Yumi asked with a slight smile.

Twist could only look back at her helplessly.

As Malik and Yumi shared a glance, Twist felt the buzz in his neck grow on its own.  It rose to a warmth in a moment, before two hands fell on Twist's shoulders.  He didn't have to look to know that it was Jonas, and he let his gaze fall to the floor a moment before the contact washed bright, cool, and numb, over his Sight.  A deep breath flowed out of him, taking away all of his tension as the white fog filled his mind with calm.

“Much better,” Jonas said softly beside his ear, standing behind his chair. “My neck was really starting to ache.  What's going on over here?”

Twist looked up to see Malik and Yumi watching him and Jonas.  Twist finally realized why the cold, curious, unsympathetic look in their eyes was so familiar.  He'd seen it before when he was very young: when the other boys at the orphanage began to realize that Twist wasn't normal.  Once someone looked at him like that, the chill never left their eyes again.  In the silence and calm of the fog in his mind, Twist realized that he had made a horrible mistake in coming here.

“You're wise beyond your years,” Twist said, turning just slightly to Jonas. “I'll never doubt you again.”  It felt refreshing to know that he didn't have to explain his meaning to Jonas, even with such vague terms.

“Took you long enough to figure that out,” Jonas said back, a smile in his voice.

“How's it going over here?” Daniel asked, stepping closer. “Jonas?”

“I'm just proving a point,” Jonas said, his hands falling away from Twist.

The fog receded, letting Twist's nervous and awkward tensions begin to build back up.  The dim, cold, and uncomfortable energy of the world around Twist was so different from the bright calm that he had to stop himself from reaching out for Jonas immediately.  Instead, he focused on the buzz in his neck, pulling what solace he could out of the familiar vibration.

“Relax, Twist.  Try to get
something
out of it,” Jonas said, before he moved away.

Twist didn't respond.  He instead stretched his neck and took a breath.  Daniel was smiling at him, Malik, and Yumi in turn, expectantly.

“So, how is it going?” he asked. “Are we finding similarities in our world views?”

“Daniel,” Malik said, still watching Twist, “have you ever heard of a pair of Sights, from two different people, that cancel each other out?”  Twist looked at Malik sharply, feeling somehow betrayed.

While Daniel put on a thoughtful expression, Yumi leaned closer to Twist to whisper, “Daniel is writing a book about people with Sights.”

“No, I've never heard of anything like that,” Daniel said after a pause. “Why do you ask?”

“Because it seems Twist and Jonas are in exactly that position,” Malik said.

“Wait, what's your Sight again?” Daniel asked Twist.  Twist took his glare off of Malik to glance up at Daniel.

“I sense damage.”

“In people too?”

Twist gave a sigh and crossed his arms. “Yes.”

“Like, injuries..?” Daniel asked, but Yumi caught his eye and shook her head with a meaningful expression.  Daniel picked up a nearby empty chair and put it down beside Twist. “You're talking about emotions, right?” he asked, his voice low but his tone eager.  A jolt of bitterness shot through Twist's heart.  He was no better than the other two. “Do you know how rare that is?  Sensing emotion is almost as rare as sensing the future.”

“Let me guess, I'm a freak among freaks.”  Twist's voice came out sharper than he'd wanted it to, and he saw the result in Daniel's eyes. “Sorry,” he muttered.

“Just, try not to use that word here,” Daniel said stiffly. “But are you telling me that besides having the ability to sense emotions in other people, your Sight doesn't work when you use it on Jonas?”

“It works, I just don't see anything that caused damage in him.”

“But you do with others?”

“With everyone else, it seems,” Malik said, sounding excited now. “He said something about being able to 'feel' Jonas too, maybe without a physical touch.”  Twist shot him another glare.

“You didn't even flinch when he touched you a second ago,” Yumi said, pointing at Twist. “You started to relax even before he did.  Could you feel him coming?”

“What does it feel like?” Daniel asked, his dark eyes alight with curiosity. “Is it like a gut feeling, or a vibrational thing?”

They were all staring at him now, expectantly, as if it was all right to talk about these things with people who couldn't even begin to understand.  Twist suddenly realized that he would rather they simply cut him open to have a look inside, than be made to continue to answer their invading and painful questions.  Something deep inside of Twist snapped, unleashing an unrelenting wave of need.

He had to get away from them all.  Now. “Excuse me,” he said, already on his feet.

They spoke as he moved past them, but he heard none of it.  Twist was down the hallway and out the door so quickly that he didn't even realize where he was until the chilly, salty, moist night air hit his skin.  He closed the door behind him and kept moving.  He wanted to look back, to see if he was being followed, but he was too terrified to find out if he was.  He knew, somewhere in the raging chaos, that he had done entirely the wrong thing.  But even now, he couldn't get his body to stop trying to run.