Cloak of Deceit: An Alex Moore Novel (29 page)

He pulled away, inciting a mindless whimper from me. Then his hands found me again, tugging at the front tie of my fluffy hotel robe. Wetness pooled between my legs, filling the air with the scent of my arousal, mingled with rose soap.

Julian groaned. “I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you. If only you knew how much.” He tore my robe open. His touch on my bare skin felt so good it almost burned.

“Tell me how much.” I pulled his shirt up and over his head. Enough that he would never leave me again? I ran my hands over his naked chest, like I’d been dying to do since the first time I’d seen all that beautifully marred skin. My fingers traced a jagged scar that striped one pectoral. My nails scratched lightly over his nipple.

He sucked in a breath, stomach muscles bunching. I looked at his face and found his gaze latched onto my exposed breasts. My nipples tightened under his hungry attention.

I didn’t ever want to ever leave him again.

He dipped his head to run his tongue in a tantalizing circle around one nipple and scraped his teeth over it gently. I fell back, and Julian caught me in his arms and lifted me and slid us both further onto the bed. “You taste so good.”

“Julian.” He was all I could think about.
Julian
. He was all around me, his scent and taste wafting over me in a heady mist, his mouth and hands on my skin, the insistent pulse of his desire between us. I wanted him so much that nothing else existed in my mind, despite knowing there were things we needed to talk about, things he needed to know.

“I’d give up everything to taste all of you.” He breathed the hot promise across my stomach, and I quivered.

Everything?
He was already everything to me…

He lowered himself down my body, his hands tenderly kneading my breasts, making my skin feel like it melted at his touch. He nudged my robe aside, and I could feel his eyes on me as he revealed each inch of flushed, aching skin. I rubbed my legs together, mimicking the throbbing within as he slid all the way down.

A gasp escaped me when his warm tongue glided first over the top of one, and then the other foot. He held my ankles in his strong hands, pressing them to the bed as he ran his tongue up my shin and then kissed each knee.

I moaned and arched my back, eager for him to move on.

He hushed me with light kisses to my thighs as he grasped my knees and slowly spread them. He knelt between my legs and kissed a languorous trail towards the part of me that needed his touch the most.

“Please,” I sighed out.
Please, I need you.

“I’ll show you how much.” He lowered his mouth to my warm wetness. I cried out as he lapped at me in long, sure strokes. His tongue glanced over my clit again and again, and I lost all sense of anything but Julian’s ravishing of my sensitized flesh, a tingling torture. I moaned, coming so hard and sudden that I jolted on the bed, fisting the covers, shaking. He held me steady and pressed his mouth harder into me, suckling. I relaxed back to the mattress, my muscles still quaking, my whole body languid.

This is what heaven feels like
.

Julian slid off the bed, and I was too lost in the euphoria of what he’d done with a few simple touches to hold onto him.

At the rasp of a zipper and forced one eye open to watch as he slid his jeans down his lean hips, revealing his darkly flushed erection, glistening at the tip with his excitement.

I licked my lips, riveted to the sight.

Julian climbed across the mattress towards me, a hunter stalking prey. Prey that would go willingly into the jaws of death.
I wanted to tell him that the hunt was over — he already had me. But I was too mesmerized as he came to claim me. I trembled at the sight of his powerful, naked body, the grace and intensity in his movements, like he was trying hard not to lunge at me.

My spine tingled with aftershocks at the thought of sharing blood with him, of becoming
his
.

“Oh God.” There was no hope of me saying no, no matter how much it would hurt later. I would sell my soul for him to keep pinning me with that feral, devouring look.

Julian smiled and knelt between my legs, his eyes raking over my body with a possessive heat that made my blood surge to the surface, flushing my skin.

“Alex.” His voice had gone husky. He swallowed hard. “I want you to be mine. I’ve never been so sick with worry. I’ve never felt the need to protect anyone so much. I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you.”

The weight of his words settled in the pit of my stomach. Old fears and worries stirred in the depths of my thoughts. How I wanted to believe him, to trust him, to love him. But the flip side of the wild desire to give him
everything
was the chilling knowledge of what usually happened when I followed my heart, or my body — both of which wanted to surrender to Julian utterly.

I sat up, momentarily jarred from his seductive spell. He pressed me back down, laying his bare chest against mine. The hair tickled against my breasts. His gaze bore into me from inches away.

“And when I say make you
mine
, I mean it.” He ground himself against my hip. “Mine. Forever.”

Forever.

He won’t leave me
.

I was both enraptured and terrified of the thought. I stared at him, unable to make sense of what I felt as emotions zinged through me in all directions. I might have always chosen men who had made it impossible, but I had always wanted a relationship that was real and
deep
. I wanted it more than I ever let myself realize. I wanted it with Julian.

But what if I didn’t turn out to be everything he wanted? What if forever turned out to be too long? I couldn’t even consider that possibility with him so close, my hunger for him threatening to combust me from the inside out. I knew I could burn for Julian forever. If I truly let myself love him, it would never go away, never ease or fade.

But it would hurt so much to lose him.

“Tell me you want it too.” He poised his hard body over mine and explored me with deft fingers.

Is this what I want? To feel like this forever?

The vision of his engorged flesh so close to the part of me longing to be filled made me moan and writhe my hips in answer. I brushed my wetness over the tip of him. He hissed, gripping my thigh hard enough to leave bruises.

“Say yes,” he commanded, his voice rough.

I stared back at his determined face. He held perfectly still, waiting, refusing to take the final step until I agreed to his terms. He wanted all or nothing. Julian would give me all of him, but it would cost all of me. No halfway, no bailing out when things got rough, no running away when he got too close, or when I cared too much.

Too late
.

A fine tremble went through my body, partly because I needed him inside me so badly, and partly out of fear.

What if you’re wrong again?

He must have read the hesitation in my eyes. He started to pull away.

I gripped the hard muscles of his arm and searched his face.

“Alex?” His voice was strained, almost to the point of breaking, vulnerable for the first time since I’d known him.

Admitting how much I needed him, even to myself, was frightening. There was no turning back after this. Forging the blood bond between us, accepting him into my body, into my heart, would take me past the point of no return: a boundary I wanted to cross, despite how much it terrified me.

“Yes, Julian.” I held my arms out to him. “
Yes.”

He let out a rattling sigh as his lips melted into mine and our mouths began their sensuous dance again. He reached between us and pressed into my slick entrance. I hummed in pleasure, my body pulsing, urging more of him, deeper. He groaned, then took my outstretched hands and pressed them to the bed beside my head as he angled himself over me and slid home.

“Only mine.” He glided out slowly, and I felt every inch of his sensuous torture.

“Yes.” I welcomed his next thrust with my entire body. I wrapped my legs around him. Each stroke brought a lush fullness that started down low and poured into every internal cavern, like heated oil spilling over. The idea of Julian taking me, holding me, wanting me forever, filled up places I hadn’t known were empty. I hadn’t even known they existed.

A tingle started at the base of my skull and steadily pulsed outwards, making my muscles quiver. Julian quickened his pace, driving deep into me at a hard angle as his tongue plundered the inside of my mouth. He shoved the breath out of me with each plunge, and swallowed my answering moans.

I tried to lift up to meet him, but he kept me anchored to the bed with his powerful arms, his insistent lips. The wicked thrusting of his hips exacted every ounce of pleasure my body could muster. He was everything in a lover I’d ever wanted — passionate, fierce. My core started to pulse and throb in a delicious rhythm and I cried out, spurring him on.

I will never get enough of this.

“Say it, Alex. Say you’re mine.” He suckled my neck, the tips of his fangs skimming over my tingling flesh.

“I’m yours! Julian!” Another orgasm rocked through my body.

I cried out when he bit me. A tiny twinge of pain, and then a wave of pleasure threw me back onto the bed and made my internal muscles coil up even tighter.

The scent of blood hit the air, mingled with the smells of Julian, and me, and our sex. My fangs prickled in my mouth. With his next stroke, I sank them into Julian’s shoulder.

His spicy-sweet blood hit my tongue, and I moaned. It wasn’t enough to really drink, but just enough to fill my senses and touch me in the deepest place yet — a bond of the blood, of the soul. It flowed between us like lava, everywhere we touched, everywhere our auras overlapped. Julian thrust into me more forcefully, and I swelled where our bodies connected, tender and sensitive. I gripped his sweat-slicked muscles and cried out his name again and again.

He strained and conquered my body over and over — riding me to the edge of that peak, then easing back and beginning again. Until I begged him to finish it. His hot seed erupted inside of me as he let out a loud, triumphant roar. I squeezed his hands and held on to him with my legs, gently licking his fresh bite until he collapsed on top of me. The two of us lay there in a trembling heap, and I blinked back tears, momentarily overwhelmed by the surge of pure completion.

Don’t go overboard, Alex. Don’t get too carried away.
I warned myself off just as I sank further into the feeling, knowing it was already too late. It was done.

Julian lifted himself enough to roll over. I started to close my robe, but he reached over and pulled me towards him, leaving it behind. I scooted close, pressing the lengths of our bodies together and resting my head on his shoulder.

“Is it always like that?” I finally asked.
Or was it just because I’m in love with you?

“No.” He rolled to his side and wrapped me in his arms. I saw a hint of a teasing smile on his lips, though his eyes stayed closed. “It’s never been like that before.”

“Did you really mean—”

“Yes.” He didn’t even let me finish the question. Did he already know me that well? He squeezed me tighter against him, then slid his hand down my spine and caressed my lower back.

“Was that all we had to straighten out?” I asked, my fingers tracing some of the scars that curved from his chest over his shoulder.

Julian peeled his eyes open and blinked at me, his gaze still glassy with afterglow. “No, but that was the most important.” He licked his lips. His voice became deeper and quieter, more intimate. “I know I’ve made mistakes, with what I have and haven’t told you. It’s just…hard for me to trust people.”

My throat closed up. Of course it would be. He was an outcast, like me. There was that understanding between us, which I had mistaken as pity or some misplaced sense of duty. I doubted he knew it was hard for me to trust people too. How could he? When it came to Julian, all my barriers seemed to crumble of their own accord. But I seldom even trusted myself. Especially myself.

“I wanted it to be clear what my intentions were.”

“It was clear enough.” I ran my fingers through his silky black hair. Clear enough he wanted me, wanted to keep me, even if he didn’t love me.

I will never regret it
, I decided. No matter what happened, no matter how badly I screwed things up, I would always have this moment. It was worth a thousand heartbreaks.

Julian smiled and pressed a kiss to my nose, then fixed me with a serious look. “You’re special, you know. I don’t mean because you’re a psychic and an Undead. You’re special to me because of who you are, because of how you make me feel. At first, I didn’t understand it, didn’t trust it.”

“And now?”

“Now, you’re
mine
. I’ll do whatever I must to keep you and protect you.” He kissed me on the lips, and fixed me with an alarmingly revealing smile, his fingers dancing circles on my hip.

“Jules,” I whispered, my eyes pleading. It was too much — everything he made me feel, everything he wanted from me — just too much. Sooner or later, I would fall short. My lip quivered. I bit it to make it stop. The blood only made me tremble all over. “I…I don’t think I can live up to the woman you’ve built me up as.”

“What are you talking about?” He frowned and tucked some hair behind my ear, giving me a puzzled look.

“I’m not this ‘tough as nails’ babe ready to kick ass and take names. I just fumble my way through situations that — if I had an ounce more sense — I wouldn’t even get into.” I sighed, exasperated.

Still mixed up
.

“I know.” He cast me a thinly disguised smile. “But you get through them.”

“Only because I have to.” I was serious — how could he be laughing at me?

His smile spread. “That’s called courage. I have never seen an accidental turn come out the other side sane. You survived it, all on your own. When I told you the truth, I thought it would drive you mad, but you found your footing. After your awakening, with Derek, when the other Force Agents attacked us, when I left you at Monique’s, when Derek took you — every time I expected you to fall apart, you kept going. You never backed down and you never gave up. You’re a survivor. Like me.”