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to: Sam Green

subject: your life just got better

So I got bored last night and taught myself how to make a GIF. So naturally, I made my first GIF to be of a cow. The result is pretttttty freaking awesome.

Then, she pastes a link. I click it immediately. A new window opens, and the next thing I know I’m staring at a GIF of a cow standing on top of a bike doing the disco with its hooves or whatever it is you call cow feet while also balancing a piece of pizza on its head.

Tumblr fame,
Harper writes after the link,
here I come.

I stifle a laugh. A girl from English spins around and shoots me a condescending, “WTF is wrong with you” stare, then continues fast-walking down the hallway. My face totally flushes. God, I must look like a total idiot, laughing in front of my computer on a Monday morning. I mean, seriously? Who does that? If only the girl knew I was talking to my internet girlfriend. Then she’d really think I was insane.

After a
nother minute of staring at Harper’s GIF (to soak it in, of course) I type my response.

from: Sam Green

to: Harper  Knight

subject: RE: your life just got better

That is either the most awesome or the most
horrifying thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I can’t decide which.

Harper replies right away.

from: Harper  Knight

to: Sam Green

subject: RE: RE: your life just got better

Both?

from: Sam Green

to: Harper  Knight

subject: DON’T YOU GO TO SCHOOL?!?!

How did you respond so fast?!

…is someone anxious to talk to a certain charming and entirely attractive guy? ;-)

from: Harper  Knight

to: Sam Green

subject:
RE: DON’T YOU GO TO SCHOOL?!?!

Three things:

1)
     
Yes, I go to school, and it is terrible, and that is okay.

2)
    
That is such a lie. Get over yourself, Green.

3)
     
There is something utterly terrifying about your use of the winky-face smiley.

from: Sam Green

to: Harper  Knight

subject: RE: RE: DON’T YOU GO TO SCHOOL?!?!

1)
            
Okay.

2)
           
Please. I’m gorgeous.

3)
           
;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)

from: Harper  Knight

to: Sam Green

subject: RE: RE: RE: DON’T YOU GO TO SCHOOL?!?!

Those winky-faces are making me shiver. I swear they’re
going to kill me in the middle of the night and make me into a delicious winky-face stew.

from: Sam Green

to: Harper  Knight

subject: They are.

In their defense, they make one
mean smiley face stew. Especially with added Harper contents.

from: Harper  Knight

to: Sam Green

subject: RE: They are.

You did NOT just imply that I’d make a good stew.

from: Sam Green

to: Harper  Knight

subject:
RE: RE: They are.

Oh, but
Harper Knight, I totally did.

from: Harper  Knight

to: Sam Green

subject: RE: RE: RE: They are.

Whatever.
I am still more awesome than you.

Also
, BTW, I wanted to talk to you about something. I’ll chat you through our chatroom…

I nod even though she can’t see me and glance at the time. My stomach drops.
Oh shit.
I’m a minute late to class already. I type my next email in a complete rush while grabbing my bag and rushing to my first class.

from: Sam Green

to: Harper  Knight

subject: Sry

Actually
i gotta go.. ttyl

As soon as I click send, I slam my computer shut, shove it into my backpack, and race down the hall to class, wondering all the way what Harper wanted to talk to me about it.

Chapter 4

from: Sam Green

to: Harper  Knight

subject: Getting wooed

Dear Harper,

Being that I am your gorgeous knight in shining armor, I’ve decided to woo you with a haiku. So here goes nothing. (Prepare to swoon.)

Chocolate is lovely

Ice cream so wonderful

But you are for me

from: Harper  Knight

to: Sam Green

subject:
RE: Getting wooed

Dear Sam,

First of all, the idea of you “wooing” me is laugh-worthy. You are not smooth in that way. Second, that haiku was seriously terrible. No swooning here.

He can’t write haikus

He is no good at wooing

But I still like him.

from: Sam Green

to: Harper  Knight

subject: RE: RE: Getting wooed

Dear Harper,

Um, you totally did swoon. I’m your knight in shining armor. I am wonderful. And your haiku was somehow even worse than mine.

Forget all the ice cream

Forget the wonderful sweets

You are mine

from: Harper  Knight

to: Sam Green

subject: RE: RE: RE: Getting wooed

(I’m going to speak to you in just haikus from now on…)

That haiku was worse

Somehow you so suck at them

Oh my god please stop

from: Sam Green

to: Harper  Knight

subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: Getting wooed

(Continuing the haiku convo theme…)

My haikus bring all

the girls to the yard damn right

they’re better than yours

from: Harper  Knight

to: Sam Green

subject:
Hopeless

You are so hopeless

I pity your real friends

You fail at
wooing

from: Sam Green

to: Harper  Knight

subject: RE:
Hopeless

I am wooing you

But you don’t even know it

I am that awesome

from: Harper  Knight

to: Sam Green

subject: Hopeless

Okay… this is getting weird, oh knight in shining armor. Can’t you just carry me away to safety? (I can barely say that without laughing. You? Carrying ME to safety? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.)

(Wait for it…)

(HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

(There. I’m done.)

from: Sam Green

to: Harper  Knight

subject: HAHAHAHA

You laugh now, Harper. But soon you’ll be fanning yourself from my utter gorgeousness.

Now, I leave you with o
ne final haiku. (This one is serious.)

Met you through my vlog

I don’t
even know who you are

But I need you here.

It takes a few minutes for Harper to respond. I sit there, refreshing the page every five seconds, my hands clenching. Was saying that mistake? Was I too serious? Too forthcoming? Oh god, what if I screwed this up? Oh shit oh shit oh shit. I bury my face in my hands until finally, an email from her pops up. I read it with a pit in my stomach.

from: Harper  Knight

to: Sam Green

subject: (no subject)

Then I will come here.

For you.

(I’m serious.)

When I finish reading, I f
eel energy coursing throughout my body. My head pounds and a smile breaks across my lips. She will come here? Does that mean—?

Before I can finish
the thought, a chat box pops up.

Hey
, it reads.

I’m sitting
in my room, doing nothing but homework, so I push aside my textbooks and respond. Harper is waaaay more important than math.

Hey
, I write.

Can I ask something? Like… something kinda serious?

Of course!

It’s kind of a response to that
last email you sent, and well…

There’s a pause, and I just keep staring at the screen, my curiosity growing with every second.

I know this is going to sound weird, but I was thinking… we’ve known each for a few months now and I really like you. Like, a lot. And since you only live like twenty minutes away from me, would you… maybe want to meet-up sometime?

Okay.

So.

My heart seriously skips a beat.
I feel so suddenly full of energy, like I could run around my house, screaming and dancing and muppetflailing like a boss. Instead I just sit there, on the edge of my bed, grinning like an idiot at my computer. I feel the need to scream “YESSSSSS!!!!!!” at the screen because
of course
I want to meet Harper,
of course
I want to tell her how I really feel. In fact, I’ve been wanting this since we first met.

Dream. Come. Freaking. True.

Ummmm yes please?
I say instead.
When?

I was thinking soon!

Like… next week?

Would that be cool?

Yeah. Of course. You pick the meeting spot.

This is going to rule. FYI.

Yeah, the poor meeting spot. It’s going to blow up from our combined awesomeness/awkwardness.

It totally is. BUT, you must promise to bring us each a Chewbacca glass so we can drink out of it like awkward badasses. Deal?

DEAL.

Guuuuh this will rule. I seriously cannot wait.

Yes!!! Okay, I gotta go, Sam. Bye!

Peace out, Pizza Cow Ninja.

*disappears with dramatic sweep of cape*

***

The rest of the day goes by pretty fast.
I head to school a few minutes later and whiz through my first few classes. After the day is over, Cat and I meet to do homework and eat dinner at a local Chili’s. We don’t talk much during it, aside from making fun of our Physics teacher’s Albert Einstein-esque hair, and I slip in a few more emails with Harper while she’s in the bathroom. Harper and I talk a little more about the meeting place when I come home, and we agree to meet on Friday at a nearby coffee shop.