Clean Lines (Cedar Tree #4) (12 page)

She opens her mouth a few times to speak but can't seem to form words.

"That's it. I'm taking you to the hospital." I turn around, intending to turn the truck around to Cortez Memorial, when I feel her hand on my arm.

"No hospital... please." The plea in that little voice, so unlike the feisty Naomi I know, breaks my heart. The tears collecting in the big brown eyes she's turned to me don't make it any better.

"Dammit, honey." I press a quick kiss to her head and grab my radio off the dash.

"Dispatch. Carol?"

"Sheriff?"

"Yeah. I'll be home the rest of the day, in case of an emergency. If Dooley from the Cortez PD calls in, tell him to get me on my cell. Drew can contact me there too. He can run the patrols. Okay?"

"Ten-four, Sheriff."

I toss back the radio, unclip Naomi's seatbelt, reach over and slide her all the way next to me and clip her into the center belt. With my arm around her shivering body, I turn the truck toward my house.

CHAPTER NINE

"Where are we?" Naomi mumbles from my neck, where she hides her face the moment I lift her out of my truck.

"My place."

"Why?"

"Because you don't want to go the hospital, I can't have your boy see you like this and you are at the end of your tether. I'm drawing you a bath, feeding you something and then you're having a nap. In that order. Then maybe you’ll want to talk... or not. We'll play it by ear. Just let me take care of you for a bit. I have a feeling your load is getting a little heavy."

I manage to shift her weight to one arm so I can get the door open and slip us inside, closing up behind us. I walk straight through upstairs and into the bathroom, where I sit her on the counter; keeping hold of her with one hand while I turn on the taps and give the water a chance to warm up. Turning back to her, I see her eyes are clearer now, watching my every move.

"What?"

"I'm not used to this," she confesses.

"Used to what, honey?"

"Being taken care of. It feels... odd."

I chuckle. "I hear you. Feels odd to me too, wanting to take care of someone, but here we are. Lift up." I have the hem of her shirt almost across her waist when she lifts her arms obediently, seeming to not give much thought to what she's doing. Good thing too, because I'm doing enough thinking for the two of us. The sight of her creamy olive-tone skin makes me want to lick and taste her flavor, but my role here is to be her friend. If she got wind of where my thoughts were drifting, she'd rip a strip off me. I throw her shirt on the overflowing laundry basket in the corner and lift her up by the waist, putting her carefully on her feet.

"Hang on to the counter behind you."

One by one, I take off her sneakers, undo the buttons on her jeans and strip them down her legs, doing my best not to gawk at her. Giving myself a minute, I turn to the tub and put the plug in; the water now warm enough to draw her bath.

"Do you want bubbles or something? Don't know what I have but maybe my shower gel will work." I start rummaging through the bottles on the side of my tub.

"It's okay," her timid voice sounds behind me and I turn to face her.

Fuck, even in her plain white bra and panties, she's a compact wet dream. Round in all the right places and not a protruding bone in sight. Just lush creamy skin and white cotton. I close my eyes and swallow down the overwhelming urge to bury my face in her soft belly and breathe her in.

I have to get out of here before I manhandle her.

"Do you think you can manage from here, Doc?" I ask, lifting my eyes with determination to her face.

"I'll be alright. Thanks."

Still too compliant for her. Not natural and not to my liking.

"I'll be right downstairs, just checking in with Caleb and grabbing something to eat, okay? I'll leave the door on a crack, unless you want it closed all the way?"

"A crack is fine," she mumbles.

Yeah. Definitely not normal, I think as I slip backward out the door and leave it open a bit.

Downstairs, I quickly call Caleb and give him an update. He's still at the shooting range with Fox and says he'll take him to the diner to meet his brother Malachi and Katie there later. He even suggests taking Fox back to their place, saying Fox would get a kick out of Blue, their dog. I thank him before hanging up and checking my fridge for food. Thank God I have the makings for a sandwich and, if I'm not mistaken, I have some half-way decent canned soup I can warm up later too. For now, I just grab some crackers and cheese, plus a bottle of ginger ale. A quick look around my living room to see if it needs any straightening up, but other than some newspapers and a bit of dust, it's not so bad. I stop in my bedroom to change out of my uniform and am just about to pull on my sweats when I hear soft crying. Quickly tying the string at my waist, I slip into the bathroom and find Naomi sitting on one end of the tub, her knees pulled up all the way to her chest and her arms wrapped tightly around them. Her face is pressed into her legs and I can see her back heaving as she pulls in big gulps of air.

I slide down on the floor beside the tub and stroke her back. Her skin wet and silky under my coarse fingers. Damn. She surprises me when she turns and throws her arms around my neck, offering me a glimpse of her full breasts and large dark nipples, before pressing herself against my chest, the hard side of the tub wedged between us.

Not the way I expect our first skin-to-skin experience to be, but damn if those perfect lush tits pressed against my chest aren't the best thing I've felt in a long fucking time. My cock is instantly hard enough to nail boards, but the now gut wrenching sobs pulled from her trembling body are enough to keep my baser urges at bay. This woman is coming apart at the seams and holding her is all I can do to keep her together.

"Let it go, honey. Let it all out. I've got you."

I'm mumbling nonsense in her hair, sitting in a cold wet puddle, which is getting bigger by the second. When her gasps seem to grow a bit more controlled, I tell her to sit tight for a second, while I get up and quickly grab a stack of towels, putting them on the counter. Reaching around Naomi, I pull the plug on the tepid water and help her up and out of the tub. She seems uncaring, almost unaware as she stands gloriously naked before me. I'm trying hard not to notice the heavy globes of her breasts, the slight swell of her stomach, the distinct flare of her hips and the dark patch of curls hiding things I shouldn't be craving right now.
Right.
Like that's possible. Without wasting too much time to think about what I'm doing, I quickly dry her off the best I can, while she appears to withdraw into herself again. Pulling my bathrobe from the back of the door, I wrap it around her, lift her up and carry her to my bed, where she curls into a ball the moment I remove my hands.
Fuck.

"You gotta talk to me, honey. I'm worried about you and if you don't talk to me, I'm taking you to the ER, whether you like it or not," I warn her while I strip out of my now soaking wet sweats and pull on some dry boxers before turning back to the bed to find her looking at me.

"No hospital."

I'm scared. Scared of myself right now. Scared of this out of control feeling I’m having that the world is closing in on me. It's so familiar. I've been here before and I don't want to be here again. I don't want to deal. I want to disappear where nothing can touch me. This overwhelming panic paralyzes me. I haven't experienced anything close to it in many years. I just want to feel the safety of those arms again.

When Joe threatens to take me to the hospital, I have to speak up. I watch him as he takes off his wet pants and am apparently not too out of it to notice his fine ass. But his boxers are in place before he turns around when I speak and he walks over and crawls into bed beside me pulling me to his chest. A chest I felt earlier but didn't get to admire. Now I can and I can't help but trace my fingers through the soft light chest hair that covers a large tattoo that runs the width of his pectorals. I'm not about to lift my head and examine it closer, because the steady beat of his heart under my cheek is comforting as is the soothing hand he’s drawing through my hair. When he starts talking I can feel the deep rumble of his voice come from his chest.

"Please talk to me, honey. Whatever is eating you up in silence right now, is much better dealt with out in the open. Try and put it to words so I can help you."

I try a few times, eager to get myself out of this endless spin, but it's so hard finding words.

"I'm afraid..." finally bursts from my mouth, but that's all I can get out.

"Okay. I get that," Joe murmurs calmly. "I'm thinking there's a lot of shit going down all at the same time, and although I have no kids, I imagine there’s nothing like fearing for your child. Am I right?"

I simply nod against his chest, my heart rate settling with every beat of his steady one.

"I haven't had one in a long time."

"A what? A panic attack?"

I'm only mildly surprised he pegs my breakdown correctly, considering he's dealt with an unstable ex before. Pretty sure he'll be backing away soon enough now, so I might as well come all out.

"There was a time I had them frequently, but I haven't had one in a long time; not since I left Phoenix."

"What triggers them? Do you know?"

"Can be different things, but usually something that overwhelms me... a feeling or a situation. When I feel trapped by circumstances or emotions or even by lack of control. I don't really know. It's so hard to put my finger on it. I guess trying to manage what is happening around me right now, and trying to ignore the desire to run and hide. It's just so much..." I start crying again, pissed at myself for doing it but not able to stop all the same.

"Shhhh, let's deal with logistics first, alright? Always easier to work with concrete stuff and maybe the edge will come off. I can see a few concerns, but let me know if I miss any."

Listening to Joe helps me sort my thoughts into better focus as he lists safety, housing, work for me, and school for Fox, as main areas that need to be addressed.

"Since we don't know who exactly is behind this or why, although we could hazard a guess or two, I think we should talk to Gus and see if we can't find a way to keep you and Fox looked after. Although you're safe enough at the guesthouse for now, , your house will be inaccessible for a while, until I can be sure that whoever was behind the break-in wasn't from out-of-state. Because if that’s the case, that might involve the FBI. So I'd like to leave everything as is should they need to come on board."

The mention of the FBI has me sitting up in bed. "Are you serious? What are you thinking? Is this about the trouble James mentioned?"

Pulling me back down, Joe explains his suspicions about the outcome of the last case James was involved which indeed sounds very fishy. Combined with Fox's impromptu return to Cortez and James' disappearance, it’s been more than enough to send up alarm bells for him.

"We need to talk to Fox, Doc. We need to let him in on what happened so he realizes how important it is we know everything. We've got to know in order to protect both of you properly."

I have to agree with him. Ever since Fox has been back, it's been eating at me that he won't talk to me about that.

I suddenly realize that I left Fox earlier and he must be worried out of his mind that he hasn't heard from me. I scoot out of bed, looking around me for my purse, so I can call him.

"Hey. Where are you going?"

"My phone. I need to call Fox. What time is it? He must be wondering where I am."

I'm pulled back against a solid chest and two arms slide around my waist, holding me tight.

"He's fine, Naomi. I called just a little while ago and they’re probably only just leaving the shooting range now. Caleb is taking him to the diner to meet up with Katie and Malachi and was gonna take him to meet Blue at the barn after. Settle."

"Don't tell me to settle. I have every right to be worried about my son."

Who the hell does he think he is, telling me to settle?
Ass
. Bristling with indignation I worm out of his arms and turn around to face him, finding him smiling from ear to ear.

"What?"

"There you are. The you I recognize. It's good to have you back," he says, taking my face in his hands and sweetly kissing my lips. At first. I can't help my tongue sliding through my lips to take a taste, but as soon as I do, the mood of Joe's mouth changes from tender to hungry. Tilting my head, he plunges his tongue between my lips and claims ownership of my mouth.
Yowza
. Good thing I'm not wearing any panties, ‘cause they'd have spontaneously combusted. Somehow my hands know their way to his hair and tangle there, while Joe's seem to have slipped inside the robe that is wrapped around me. With firm fingers he kneads the flesh on my ass and my hips, before hoisting me up. I wrap my legs around his waist, shuddering when my bare slit slides down over the coarse hairs of his treasure trail and encounters his unmistakable erection. Holy crap.

"Fuck, Naomi. I'm starving for you," Joe pants as he peppers kisses along my jaw and down my cleavage, sucking a mouthful of breast so hard into his mouth, I almost come on the spot.