Claudius the God (11 page)

Sentius spoke. ‘My Lords,’ he said, ‘this is well-nigh incredible! Do you realize that we are free at last, no longer slaves to the madness of a tyrant? Oh, I trust that your hearts are all beating as strongly and proudly as mine, though how long this blessed condition will last, who will dare to prophesy? At all events let us enjoy it while we can, and let us be happy. It is nearly a hundred years now since it was possible to announce in this ancient and glorious city, “We are free; so of course neither you nor. I can recall what it felt like in the old days to utter those splendid words, but certainly at the present moment my soul is as buoyant as a cork. How happy are the decrepit old men who at the end of a long life of slavery can breathe their last breath to-day with that sweet phrase on their lips “We are free”! How instructive, too, for the young men, to whom freedom is but a name, to know what it means when they hear the glad universal cry go up: “We are free”’ But, my Lords and gentlemen, we must remember that virtue alone can preserve liberty. The mischief of tyranny is that it discourages virtue. Tyranny teaches flattery and base fear. Under a tyranny we are straws upon the wind of caprice. The first of our tyrants was Julius Caesar. Since his reign there has been no sort of misery which we have not experienced. For there has been a steady decline since Julius in the quality of the Emperors who have been chosen to rule over us. Each, has named as successor a man a little worse than himself. These Emperors have hated virtue with a malignant hatred. The worst of them all was this Gaius Caligula - may his ghost suffer torment! - the enemy of both men and Gods. Once a tyrant does an injury to a man, that man is suspected of harbouring resentment even if he gives no sign of it. A criminal charge is trumped up against him and he is condemned without hope of reprieve. That happened to my own brother-inlaw, a very worthy, honest knight. But now, I repeat, we are free. Now we are only accountable each to the other. Once more this is a House of frank speech and frank discussion. Let us confess it, we have been cowards, we have lived like slaves, we, have heard of intolerable calamities striking at our neighbours, but so long as they have not struck us we. have kept mute. My Lords, let us decree the greatest honours in our power to the tyrannicides, especially to Cassius Chaerea, who has been prime mover in the whole heroic affair. His name should be made more glorious even than that of Brutus, who killed Julius Caesar, or Cassius’s namesake, who stood by this Brutus and also struck a blow; for Brutus and Cassius by their action began a civil war which plunged the country into deepest degradation and misery. Whereas Cassius Chaerea’s action can lead to no such calamity. He has placed himself like a true Roman at the disposal of the Senate and has made us a gift of the precious freedom that has been so long, ah, so long, denied us.’

This puerile speech was applauded vociferously. Somehow nobody considered that Sentius had been one of Caligula’s most notorious flatterers and had even earned the nickname of ‘The Lap-dog’. But the senator sitting next to him suddenly noticed that he was wearing on his finger a gold ring with an enormous cameo, portrait of Caligula in coloured glass on it. This senator was another former lap-dog of Caligula’s, but, anxious to excel in republican virtuousness, he snatched the ring off Sentius’s finger and dashed it to the floor. Everyone joined in stamping it to bits. This energetic scene was interrupted by the entry of Cassius Chaerea. He was accompanied by Aquila, ‘The Tiger’, two other Guards officers who had been among the assassins, and Lupus: On entering the Senate Cassius did not waste a single glance on the crowded benches of cheering senators and knights, but marched straight up to the two Consuls and saluted. ‘What is the watchword to-day?’ he asked. The jubilant Senate felt this as the greatest moment of their lives. Under the Republic the Consuls, had been joint commanders-in-chief of the forces, unless there happened to be a dictator appointed who took precedence over them; but it had now been over eighty years since they had given out the watchword of the day. The Senior Consul, another of the lap-dog breed, puffed himself up and replied: ‘The watchword, Colonel, is Liberty.’

It was ten minutes before the cheers had died down sufficiently for the voice of the Consul to be heard again. He then rose, in some agitation, to announce that the messengers had returned that had been sent to me in the Senate’s name: they reported that I had expressed myself unable, to obey their summons, and had explained that I was being forcibly taken away to the Guards’ Camp, This news caused consternation and confusion among the benches, and a ragged debate followed, the conclusion of which’ was that my friend Vitellius suggested sending for King Herod Agrippa: Herod, being an outsider, but in close touch with political currents in Rome, and a man of great reputation both in the West and the East, might be able to give them seasonable advice: Someone seconded Vitellius, pointing out that Herod was known to have a strong influence over me, that he was respected by the Imperial Guards, and that at the same time he had always been well-disposed towards the Senate, among whom he had numerous personal friends. So a messenger was sent to beg Herod to attend as soon as possible. I believe that Herod had arranged for this invitation, but I cannot be sure. At all events he did not show himself either too ready to go or too slack in going. He sent a servant downstairs from his bedroom to tell the messenger that he would be ready in a few minutes, but that at the moment he must be excused, as he was in a state of dishabille. Presently he came down smelling very strongly of a peculiar Oriental scent called patchouli, which was a standing joke at the Palace: it was supposed to have an irresistible effect on Cypros. Caligula, whenever he smelt it on Herod, used to sniff loudly and say: ‘Herod,- you uxorious old man! How well you advertise your marital secrets!’ Herod, you understand, did not wish it to be known that he had spent so long on the Palatine Hill, or they might suspect that he had been taking sides. He had, in fact, left the Palace disguised as a servant, mixed with the crowd in the Market Place, and only just reached home when the message came for him. He used the scent as an alibi, and it seems to have been accepted. When he arrived at the Temple the Consuls explained the position to him and he pretended to be surprised to hear that I had been acclaimed Emperor, and made a lengthy protestation as to his absolute neutrality in City politics. He was merely an allied king and the trusted friend of Rome, and so he would remain, by their leave, whatever her government. ‘Nevertheless,’ he said, ‘since you appear to be in need of my advice I am prepared to speak frankly. The republican form of government appears to me in certain circumstances a most estimable thing. I would say the same of a benignant monarchy. Nobody can, in my opinion, make a hard-and-fast pronouncement that one form of government is essentially better than another. The suitability of each form depends on, the temper of the people, the capacity of the ruler or rulers, the geographical extent of the State, and so on. Only one general rule, can be made, and it is this: No sensible man would give that ‘(here he gave a contemptuous snap of his fingers) ‘for, any government,. whether democratic, plutocratic, aristocratic, or autocratic, that cannot count on the loyal support of the armed forces of the State over which it pretends to rule. And so, my lords, before I begin to offer you any practical advice I must ask you a question. My question is: Have you the Army behind you?’

It was Vinicius who jumped up to answer him. ‘King Herod,’ he cried, ‘the City Battalions are loyal to a man. You see their three colonels here among us to-night. We have great stores of weapons too and vast supplies of money with which to pay any further forces that, we may require to raise. There are many of us here who could, enlist a double company of troops from our own household slaves, and would gladly give them their liberty on their undertaking to fight for the Republic.’

Herod ostentatiously covered his mouth so that they should see that he was trying not to laugh. ‘My friend Lord Vinicius,’ he said, ‘my advice is don’t you try it! What sort of a show do you think that your porters, and bakers and bath-attendants would make, against the Guards, the best troops in the Empire? I, mention the Guards because if they had been on your side you would certainly have told me about it. If you think that you can make a slave into a soldier by tying a breastplate on him, putting a spear in his hand, hanging a sword round his middle and saying:. ‘Now, fight, my boy!” - well, I repeat, don’t you try it!’ Then he addressed the Senate again as a whole. ‘My Lords,’ he said, ‘you tell me that the Guards have acclaimed as Emperor my friend Tiberius Claudius Drusus Nero Germanicus, the ex-Consul, but without first asking your consent. And I gather that the Guards have shown some hesitation in allowing him to obey your summons to attend this House. But I also gather that the message that was sent him did not emanate from you as a body but from an unofficial caucus of some two or three senators; and that only a small party of excited soldiers - no officers among them - were in attendance on Tiberius Claudius when it was delivered. Perhaps if another delegation were now sent to. him, with proper authority, the officers at the Guards’ Camp would advise him to treat it with the respect that it deserves and would check the holiday spirit of the men under their command. I suggest that the same two Protectors of the People should be sent again, and I am ready, if you desire, to go with them and add my voice to theirs - in a quite disinterested way, of course. I believe that I have sufficient influence with my friend Tiberius Claudius, whom I have known from boyhood - we studied under the same venerable tutor - and sufficient interest with the officers at the Camp I am a frequent guest at their mess-table - and certainly, let me assure you, my Lords, I have sufficient eagerness for your good opinion, to be able to settle matters to the satisfaction of all parties concerned.’

So at about four o’clock that afternoon, as I was eating my long-delayed luncheon in the Colonels’ Mess at the Guards’ Camp, with every movement that I made silently, closely, though respectfully watched by my companions, a captain came in with the news that a delegation had arrived from the Senate and that King Herod Agrippa, who was here too, wished to speak to me privately beforehand.

‘Bring King Herod in here,’ said the Senior Colonel. ‘He’s our friend.’

Presently Herod entered. He greeted each, of the Colonels by name and slapped one or two of them on the back and then came over to me and made me a most formal obeisance.

‘May I speak to you in private, Caesar?’ he asked, grinning.

I was disconcerted at being addressed as Caesar and asked him to call me by my proper name.

‘Well, if you’re not Caesar, I don’t know who else is,’ Herod answered, and the whole room laughed with him. He turned round. ‘My gallant friends,’ he said, ‘I thank you. But if you had been present at the meeting of the Senate this afternoon you really would have had something worth laughing at. I have never seen such a mob of infatuated enthusiasts in my life. Do you know what they think? They actually think that they are going to start a civil war and challenge you Guards to a pitched battle, with no one to help them but the City Battalions, and perhaps a Watchman or two, and their own household slaves masquerading as soldiers, under the command of swordfighters from the amphitheatre! That’s rich, eh? As a matter of fact, what I have come to tell the Emperor I can say in front of you all. They have now sent him a delegation of Protectors of the People, because, you see, there is not a single one of their own number who dares come himself: the Emperor is going to be asked to submit himself to the Senate’s authority, and if he doesn’t, why then they’ll make him. What do you think of that? I came along with them after promising the Senate that I’d give the Emperor a few words of disinterested advice. I am now going to keep my promise.’ He turned sharply round again and addressed me. ‘Caesar, my advice is, be rough with them! Stamp on the worms and watch them wriggle.’

I said stiffly: ‘My friend King Herod, you seem to forget that I Am a Roman and that the powers even of an Emperor depend constitutionally on the will of the Senate. If the Senate’ sends me a message which I am able to answer politely and submissively I shall not fail to do so.’

‘Have it your own way,’ Herod answered with a shrug, ‘but they won’t treat you any the better for it. Constitutionally, eh? I must bow of course to your superior authority as an antiquarian, but has the word “constitution” any practical meaning to-day?’

Then the two Protectors were admitted. They repeated what the, Senate had asked them to say, in a mechanical and unpersuasive duet. I was desired to do nothing by violence, but to yield without further hesitation to the power of the Senate. I was reminded of the dangers that they and I had escaped under the late Emperor and begged to commit no act that could be a cause of fresh public disasters.

The sentence about the dangers that they and I had escaped under Caligula was repeated three times in all, because first one of them made a mistake, and then the other went to his rescue, and then the first one said it all over again. I said, rather testily: ‘Yes, that verse occurred once before, I think,’ and quoted the Homeric tag that is found so often in the Odyssey: Glad from death’s peril to have won scot-free - Our comrades not so fortunate as we.

Herod was delighted with this. He recited comically: ‘Our comrades not so fortunate as we,’ and then whispered to the Colonels: ‘That’s the point. All that they really care about is their own dirty hides.’

The Protectors of the People grew flustered and went on gabbling their message like a brace of ducks. If I resigned the supreme power that had been unconstitutionally awarded me, they said, the Senate promised to vote me the greatest honours that a free people could bestow. But I must place myself unreservedly in their hands. If, on the contrary, I acted foolishly and persisted in my refusal to attend the House, I would have. the armed forces of the City sent against me, and once I was captured I need expect no mercy.

The Colonels crowded round the two Protectors with such threatening looks and mutterings that they hastily explained that they were only repeating what had been put into their mouths by the Senate, and that personally they wished to assure me that I was the only proper person, in their opinion, to rule the Empire. They begged us to remember that in their quality both as ambassadors of the Senate and as Protectors of the People their persons were inviolate, and not to do them any indignity. Then they said: ‘And the Consuls privately gave us a second message that we were to give you in case our first doesn’t please you.’