Claire (Hart University Book 2) (8 page)

I hoped she’d say something comforting. Something like,
Don’t worry, you won’t.
But being Jenna, of course she didn’t say that.

“You
should
want to fail.”

“What?”

“Failure is important. It means you’re taking risks. Isn’t that what you wanted when you decided to be single for a while?”

I’d told Jenna about my pledge.

“I guess so.” I was lying in bed, and now I closed my eyes. “If I’m being completely honest, I think I’ve been hoping there’s a safe way to take risks. Which I know is stupid.”

Jenna laughed. “Not stupid, just human. How’s this for advice? Instead of worrying about the labels, just follow the music and see where it leads you. It sounds to me like that’s what Milton was saying, too.”

“All right,” I said. “I think I can do that. Sometimes when I get an idea for a song, I—”

My phone vibrated. I opened my eyes and saw Will’s name on the screen, and a little shiver ran down my spine.

There’d been two games since the season opener, one at home and one a few hours away in New York. I’d gone to both. We’d won both, too, and Andre had declared me the new team mascot, explaining that the only reason they’d lost so many games last year was that I hadn’t been there.

Will and I had been hanging out a lot more, here at my dorm and over at his place. I felt like our friendship was on a really firm footing.

“I have to go,” I said to Jenna. “Talk to you later, okay?”

Then I switched calls. “Hey,” I said to Will, curling up on my side with the phone between me and the pillow.

“Hey. Still up?”

“No.”

“No?”

“Well, I’m awake, obviously. But I’m in bed.”

A beat went by. “Oh.”

After that
Oh
, there was silence.

And then a rush of heat went through me.

I’d gotten pretty good at restraining my lustful feelings for Will when we were together. But I didn’t have to restrain myself now, did I? I mean, he wasn’t actually here. We were on the phone. He had no way of knowing that my whole body was now a few degrees warmer, or that my nipples tightened at the sound of his voice, or that there was an itch between my legs that made me squeeze my thighs together.

I let myself imagine that his next question would be,
What are you wearing?

Nothing
, I’d tell him, even though I was wearing a pajama top and underwear. Then he’d say—

“Are you still interested in hearing about my prospective dates?”

I was so caught up in my silly fantasy I didn’t process what he’d said at first. “What?”

“You said you wanted to know about contenders. Girls I want to go out with?”

Well, that was one way to kill a girl-boner.

I sat straight up in bed. “There’s a girl? A girl you want to go out with?”

I prayed to God I didn’t sound as panicked to Will as I did to myself.

“Yeah. I met her yesterday at the gym.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about her yesterday?”

Now I hoped I didn’t sound as pissy to him as I did to myself.

“I didn’t know I wanted to date her yesterday. I mean, that only came up today.”

I took a deep breath and tried to dial myself down a notch. “Oh.” I cleared my throat. “So, tell me about her.”

“Well, she’s an athlete. A soccer player.”

An athlete.

Before, the panic had been sort of amorphous. But now it was settling. Hardening.

An athlete. Will was a jock, and now he’d met a girl jock. They could talk about jock things in a way I couldn’t.

I’d been thinking of the girls in Will’s orbit as cheerleader types like the Pantherettes I’d met. But there were lots of other girls in his orbit. Girls who might not be interested in Will for superficial reasons.

Of course I didn’t know this girl’s deal. The mere fact that she was an athlete didn’t mean she deserved an amazing guy like Will.

“Well.” My voice was a little rough, and I cleared my throat again. “I need to meet her, obviously. You can’t go out with her until I meet her. That’s what we said.”

“We did? I’m pretty sure you’re making that up.”

Of course I was.

“I want to meet her,” I said stubbornly.

“I don’t think there’s time. Not before the date, anyway. We made plans already. Just now. She called me, and we’re going out tomorrow night.”

“Tomorrow night?” I could feel my panic rising again, and I forced myself to calm down. “Okay, how about this. Have her come to your house before the date, and I’ll just happen to be there. You can be upstairs getting ready, and I’ll have a chance to—”

“I already told her I’d pick her up at her place.”

Of course he had. Will was the kind of guy who’d pick a girl up at her place. He was a gentleman, damn it.

“Unacceptable.”

“But—”

“Nope. Unacceptable. Are you going to see her before tomorrow night? Is she in any of your classes? Will you run into her at the gym? I could be there working out or something and—”

I heard a snort of laughter. “You don’t work out, Claire. You’ve never been in a gym in your life.”

It was true. I’d told him that last year, and he’d offered to show me around the university fitness center and teach me to use the equipment.

Why, oh why hadn’t I taken him up on that offer?

“Are you seeing her before the date or not?”

Now I definitely sounded pissy.

“Well…”

“You are. Where?”

“We’re going jogging tomorrow morning before classes. But—”

“I’ll come with you.”

There was another silence, long enough for me to regret my impulsive and monumentally moronic offer.

“You want to come jogging with us? We’re going to do five miles.”

Was that a long way? I vaguely remembered running a mile and a half in junior high gym class, and it hadn’t been that bad.

“Sure. I mean, running doesn’t require any special skill. And it’ll give me a chance to meet this girl and—what’s her name, anyway?”

“Becky. But—”

“Becky. Okay. It’ll give me a chance to meet her.”

“Yeah, but I don’t—”

“Do you not want me to meet her for some reason? Are you afraid I won’t like her?”

“No, that’s not it. I’m just not sure jogging is the best—”

“Just give me the where and when.”

I heard him sigh. “Okay, but I’m going on record saying this is a bad idea. Do you promise you’ll stop running if it’s too much for you?”

The minute he said that, he pretty much guaranteed that I would run with the two lovebirds until I dropped.

“I promise,” I practically growled. “Where and when.”

“The lake on the north side of campus. We’re meeting in front of the science building at six.”

“Six a.m.?”

“Yeah. But if you don’t—”

“I’ll be there. Good night, Will.”

“Good night.”

I tossed my phone onto the nightstand and ran my hands through my hair.

Six o’clock in the morning. I was going on a five-mile run at six in the freaking a.m.

I flopped back down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling.

What had I gotten myself into?

Chapter Nine

I’d set my alarm for five a.m., but by the time I stopped hitting the snooze button it was five-thirty. I jumped in the shower for a quick rinse, mostly just to wake myself up, and then I put on a pair of black yoga pants (the closest thing I had to athletic gear), my sturdiest bra, and a gray Hart University T-shirt. I added a headband to hold back my hair and my black Chuck Taylors, which were the only sneakers I owned.

I was worried I’d be late if I walked, so I drove my car to the science building parking lot.

I was five minutes early, but Will and Becky were there before me. They were stretching together, using one of the iron benches scattered along the lake path for balance, and I saw them before they saw me.

Becky wasn’t gorgeous, but she was pretty. She had brown hair in a ponytail, thick dark eyebrows, and a long, lean, strong-looking body.

She and Will had their left legs up on the back of the wrought iron bench and they were stretched out over their thighs, their heads turned toward each other as they chatted. They both looked a lot more serious about the jogging thing than I did with actual running outfits (Becky’s was purple) and actual running sneakers (Becky’s were neon green).

I slowed down as I approached them. The sun was just beginning to come up, and the scene in front of me was spectacular.

The early-morning mist on the lake was touched with red and gold. There were geese on the water floating silently by. The sky was a clear, transparent blue and the trees lining the lake path were moving softly in the breeze.

Set against that background, Will and Becky looked sort of perfect together—happy and healthy and athletic, like they were about to film a Nike ad.

Standing there in my yoga pants and T-shirt, with my music geek sneakers and black socks—I didn’t own any white sports socks—I felt like an interloper.

They still hadn’t seen me. If I turned around now I could leave before they knew I was there. I could send Will a text to explain that I—

“Claire!”

Will straightened up and waved, and I forced a smile onto my face as I closed the remaining distance between us.

“Hi,” I said, looking at Becky. “I’m Claire.”

“Becky. It’s so great to meet you. I saw your band last spring at the student center. You guys were amazing.”

She liked my music? Damn.

“Thanks. I, um, hear you play soccer.”

She nodded. “We’re having a great season this year, but you’d never know it.” She sent a mock glare Will’s way. “Considering that all the money and attention go to football.”

Will grinned. “Hey, I’m with you on this. I know it’s not fair. But that article you wrote was great, and if people keep speaking up maybe things will change.”

“Article?” I asked.

Will nodded. “Becky covers sports for the Hart Star. She wrote a pretty tough piece on college athletics, showing the disparity of resources between men’s and women’s sports.”

She was a feminist? Damn.

Once again, I considered bagging out. I could tell them I had a headache or a stomach ache or a leg cramp or—

Becky moved closer to Will and bumped his hip with hers. “Are you ready to go?”

It wasn’t a big deal. One little hip bump. But something flared up inside me, and when Will said he was ready I said, “Me, too.”

“Great. It’s two and half miles around the lake, so we’ll do two laps.”

I nodded. “Two laps. Great.”

Will spoke up. “You can stop after one, you know. And let us know if you need to slow down the pace or—”

“I’ll be fine,” I said quickly.

Will looked like he wanted to say something else, but then he just shrugged. “Okay.”

The first section of the path was wide enough for the three of us to run side-by-side. We started off at what seemed like a pretty reasonable speed, and I felt confident that I could keep it up for two laps.

I continued to feel that way for about a minute and half.

After ninety seconds, I was panting and wheezing. My leg muscles were burning and there was a stitch in my side.

Will and Becky were having some kind of fitness geek-out about aerobic and anaerobic exercise and target heart rates. Becky had a Fitbit and she was telling Will how much she loved it. I was trying to shore up my determination to keep going when Will asked me a question.

“What?” I gasped out.

“I said, can you talk? That’s a good test to make sure you’re not exercising too hard.”

If that was the case, then Will was doing fine. He wasn’t having any trouble talking. He might as well have been sitting down.

I took a few deep breaths and made a mighty effort.

“Yes, I can talk. Don’t worry about me.”

Two sentences without a huff or a puff. Yay Claire.

Will took me at my word and he and Becky went back to their conversation. I didn’t even try to listen to what they were saying, focusing all my energy on moving my arms and legs. When the path narrowed, I gratefully dropped behind the other two.

“How are you doing?” Becky asked me over her shoulder, her voice as unstressed as Will’s and her smile sweet and friendly.

I hated her.

I marshaled another massive effort. “I’m great.”

After that things were a little easier. The two athletes were ahead of me, so at least I didn’t have to worry about them seeing my red face and the ever-increasing pain and agony in my expression. And they couldn’t hear my heavy breathing, either.

As we kept going on the path to hell, I focused on Will. He was like a machine, his legs pumping like pistons, up and down, up and down, as measured and tireless as pile drivers.

My eyes shifted over to Becky. She matched him stride for stride, her legs as piston-like as his were. And it was obvious from the way she was talking that this wasn’t even a stretch for her.

She was probably taking it easy because of me.

They probably both were.

The insanity of what I was doing swept over me. What had I been thinking? How could I have thought, even for a second, that going on a five-mile run with two jocks was a good idea?

They were both so healthy and strong, so vibrant and glowing. A sudden image of the two of them in bed together filled my mind.

They’d make love with all the gusto and vitality they were currently displaying. And then, after all the wild, gymnastic sex, they could head to the kitchen to make postcoital spinach smoothies.

Was that a thing? Spinach smoothies?

What the hell did I care. It was the sex part that bothered me.

Because I was jealous. Obviously.

Jealousy had dragged my aerobically-challenged ass out of bed at five-thirty in the morning. Jealousy had started me on this hellish journey around a lake I now loathed. Jealousy might actually end up killing me, since there was a good chance I would drop dead any second now.

On and on it went. Out of some misguided sense of something or other I refused to stop, pushing myself further and further until—

“Claire?”

Will had turned his head a few times to check on me, and I’d managed to smile and offer a few words as proof of life. This time, though, he figured out I wasn’t doing so hot.