City Lives (7 page)

But was it all too late now? All the men of her own age, should she ever find one, would be married. The separated ones would have lots of baggage . . . like she had. Her sell-by date was gone,
she thought mournfully as depression invaded every pore.

‘What’s
wrong
with you? Don’t be such a bloody drip. Stop whinging and feeling sorry for yourself.’ Caroline raged aloud at herself. She was such a wimp she
drove herself mad. Where was all the positive stuff? All the I-Can-Survive stuff. All the We-Need-To-Make-A-Clean-Break stuff. Why had all her optimism deserted her just when she needed it most?
She was a fine one to be lecturing Richard. Hadn’t she even said to him that she wasn’t looking for a man? And half believed it. She’d read so many self-help and spiritual books
recommended by counsellors and other alcoholics at her AA meetings. The message was always the same. Peace and happiness comes from within. Entering relationships for the ‘wrong’
reasons – out of neediness like she had – to end loneliness, to recover from a previous relationship, to have a sex life, would never bring fulfilment. There’d always be searching
and wanting, just like she was searching and wanting now.

But how did you find that longed-for ‘peace within’? Caroline mused. Would she ever not be needy? How did you change a lifetime pattern? When she read the self-help and spiritual
books she was always fired with good intentions and would find herself practising positive thinking for a while. But then, when times got tough, like now, she’d slip back into her old ways of
negativity and fear.

‘Come on, you’ve come a long way, stop being so hard on yourself,’ she murmured as she walked into the bathroom. It was only to be expected that the decision to divorce would
make her feel down. She still had to tell her father and brothers, although she knew that they wouldn’t take it half as badly as her mother-in-law. No doubt Richard had by now told his mother
about the divorce. Sarah Yates was one person she’d be glad to see the back of. She was a bitter old pill. She was probably freaking to think that the family name was going to be disgraced by
a divorce. Good enough for her, Caroline thought uncharitably. She hoped to God that Richard hadn’t lost his nerve. The woman had to be told one way or another. The sooner this was all over
the better.

He was going into town to get another suitcase and he’d told her that he’d have lunch in Temple Bar, so she was at a bit of a loose end. Maybe she’d go for a walk down on the
Bull Wall. She liked that walk. It always calmed her. She’d have a shower, get dressed, and clear her head with a walk. She had just slipped out of her towelling robe when the doorbell
chimed.

She wasn’t expecting callers. It could hardly be Devlin, who lived in the apartment block opposite. She’d just spoken to her on the phone. Caroline pulled on her robe again and
hurried out to the video intercom. Her eyes nearly popped out of her head when she saw her mother-in-law standing on the steps.

‘Oh shit!’ she muttered.

‘I know you’re there, Caroline, I can see your car. Open up and let me in,’ Sara snapped into the intercom.

Caroline, who hadn’t lifted the handset, couldn’t hear her, but could just see Sarah’s lips moving furiously. She dithered. It would be so easy not to answer the door. Not to
have to deal with the confrontation that was inevitable. But she’d have to face the woman sometime. Sarah would never let it go. She’d be like a dog with a bone until she’d had
her say. She might as well get it over and done with. Caroline took a deep breath.

‘Good morning, Mrs Yates. I’ll send the lift down to you,’ she said calmly into the handset.

‘Be quick about it. I’m not used to being left standing on doorsteps,’ her mother-in-law hissed.

‘Oh, Lord!’ Caroline groaned as she pressed the button that would send the penthouse lift gliding silently downwards. She wished she was dressed. A towelling dressing-gown was not
the thing to wear when one was going to have a confrontation with a perfectly groomed and turned-out mother-in-law.

Her mouth was dry so she rushed into the kitchen and took a big gulp of water before going to the front door. The gates of the lift were just swishing open as Caroline opened her door.

‘I want a word with you,’ Sarah stalked past her, wasting no time on social greetings.

Caroline closed the door quietly and turned to face her.

‘Do sit down, Mrs Yates. Can I get you some tea?’ she said politely, determined not to be ruffled.

‘Indeed and I don’t want tea, thank you. My son arrived at my house not more than half an hour ago to inform me that you and he are to divorce and that he’s emigrating to
America. Well I’m here to inform you, madam, that the Yates name will not be sullied by divorce. And I will not allow my son to ruin his life and his career and give up everything he’s
worked for just because
you
want out. You are going to talk him out of this madness before it goes any further. I always knew you weren’t right for Richard. He married you against my
wishes. You got what you wanted. Marriage is for life. And I don’t care how you do it, but you had better talk Richard out of this reckless foolishness immediately. Do you hear me,
Caroline?’ Sarah demanded. Her voice shook with anger. Her cheeks were an ugly mottled red.

Caroline felt sick. She wasn’t good at confrontation. And Sarah Yates was a very intimidating woman. A master of manipulation, a controlling emotional blackmailer. The very worst sort of
bully. The only way to deal with bullies was to face up to them. She took a deep breath.

‘And if I don’t do as you say, Mrs Yates?’ Her voice was admirably calm, giving no clue to the tightly coiled knots in her stomach or the sweatiness of her palms.

‘I beg your pardon?’ Sarah was taken aback at the quietly issued challenge.

‘If I don’t do as you . . . order . . . what are you going to do?’

‘Now you listen to me, my girl. If you go ahead with this course of action, Richard will be ruined. He’ll end up penniless. I’ll cut him out of my will. Do you want that on
your conscience? Can you live with the knowledge that you, and you alone, are responsible for wrecking a man’s life?’ Sarah’s eyes were like flints.

She really was a cold, malicious bitch, Caroline thought, horrified. To think that she’d cut her only child out of her will. Anger ripped through her. She wasn’t taking all Sarah
Yates’s crap on board. She’d enough problems to deal with in her own life.

‘You listen to me, you horrible, selfish, despicable woman, don’t you
dare
speak to me about my conscience. You should look at your own . . . if you can . . . and get down
on your knees and apologize to Richard for what you’ve done to him. You’ve fucked up his head so badly he doesn’t know who he is. How
dare
you come to my home and speak
to me the way you just have? I’m entitled to respect. Any human being is and you’ve shown none to me or Richard. We’ll deal with our marriage and our lives as we see fit and not
because of anything you say or do. Now get out, Mrs Yates, and don’t you ever come near me again.’

‘Oh . . . Oh . . . I . . . I’ve never heard . . . Well . . . I . . . such language . . .’ Sarah stuttered.

‘There’s a lot more where that came from, believe me. Out . . . now!’ Caroline marched over to the door and flung it open.

Sarah couldn’t believe her ears or her eyes.

‘I wouldn’t stay here to be insulted by the likes of you,’ she managed to sputter, drawing her fur coat around her as she tried to regain her dignity. ‘You’re a
little slut. Look at you . . . not even
dressed
at this hour of the morning,’ was her quavering parting shot.

Caroline watched her mother-in-law step into the lift. ‘Goodbye and good riddance,’ she gritted as the doors closed and it began its descent. She felt utterly drained but at the same
time a sense of elation began to bubble within. She’d spoken her piece. She hadn’t submitted to bullying. She’d faced down her mother-in-law. She’d turned the situation
around and taken control of it and Sarah was the one who was left floundering. Best of all . . . she’d never have to see the old wagon again. Whatever doubts she had about the divorce, one
thing was certain. Sarah had just put the iron in Caroline’s soul. This was one battle that malignant, appalling woman was not going to win. With a determined jut to her jaw, Caroline went
back into the bathroom and stood under the steaming jets of water. She felt she was washing Sarah Yates’s dark vicious energy down the plug-hole and out of her life.

‘Drive me home,’ Sarah ordered as she got into the car. She was incandescent with rage. How dare that cheap, slutty, ill-mannered hussy speak to her like that? She
had never been spoken to like that in all her life. It was shocking.

Sarah trembled in the front seat of the car. Things had not gone at all to plan. A cold fear gripped her heart. What would she do if Richard left for America? And if they got divorced, it would
be in the papers. Richard was very high-profile. The family name would be disgraced. All the neighbours and relations would know. She’d never be able to hold her head up.

A sensation in her chest, like a vice getting tighter and tighter, made her gasp. Blackness enveloped her. Sarah gave a little moan and slumped forward.

‘Holy God! The old bat’s snuffed it!’ Hannah Gleeson squawked in terror as she came to a screeching halt amidst a cacophony of beeping horns.

Caroline breathed deeply the salty tangy fresh air as she strode briskly down the woodenworks of the Bull Wall. It was cold and windy. She didn’t care. It was just what
she needed to clear her head of the lethargy and depression that had invaded her. She’d had a leisurely shower and a cup of coffee and croissants before she’d left, and that had perked
her up.

In front of her, a couple, their two young children and a frisky little cocker spaniel were having fun as they skimmed stones on top of the waves.

‘Mammy, Mammy look,’ the younger child cried as the dog barked encouragement when she threw a stone as far as she could. The man gave his wife a hug as she stood cheering.

Caroline walked past them and tried not to feel envious. That little tableau made her feel that her own life was very empty. When she’d married Richard she’d always imagined that
they’d have children. A happy family life had been her dream. Maybe hers was to be a life without children, and if that was the case she just had to put up with it. Perhaps it was a blessing
anyway that she’d never conceived a child with Richard. The poor child wouldn’t have grown up in a very happy environment. Perhaps when she and Richard finally went their separate ways
there’d be a relationship there for her. Who knew what would happen? Optimism surged. She could go to a fortune-teller. She hadn’t been to one in ages.

Caroline smiled to herself as she walked along past the golf club. At least she was rid of Mrs Yates. She was very proud of the way she’d stood up to her mother-in-law. The old Caroline
wouldn’t have done that. And she was proud of Richard for having the guts to tell her that he was going to live his own life.

She was definitely going to find somewhere new to live. A total break with the past was called for. It would be nice to have a place of her own. A place she could decorate as she pleased. It
wasn’t the best time to be buying property. Prices were horrendous but she had a good salary and some savings behind her, she wouldn’t have any trouble getting a mortgage. If Richard
wanted to sell the penthouse, that was his business. It was his, lock stock and barrel, and always had been. She wouldn’t be making any claims against him for it. If he wanted to keep it as a
place of his own, that was up to him. If America didn’t work out and he came home it would still be there for him, but she wouldn’t be living in it.

She knew that he wouldn’t like the idea of selling the penthouse. Caroline knew that in the back of his mind he’d like her to keep living there so that he could always come back. But
that wasn’t on the cards.

Closure! Wasn’t that what the Americans called it? Well, closure was what she wanted and today had been the start of it for her.

She watched a plane descending slowly out of the clouds, gliding low across the sea, and then over the suburbs on its final approach to Dublin airport. She felt energized looking at it. There
was nothing to stop her taking a trip to London or Paris some weekend if the fancy took her. She’d be a free agent. She could come and go as she pleased. In time she could even go and visit
Richard in Boston if she wished. The joy of it. If
she
wished. It was all going to be about her now. For the first time in her life. She smiled broadly. An elderly man coming in the
opposite direction smiled back at her. Caroline felt almost giddy. Today was the start of the rest of her life and it was going to be a good life, she promised herself. She felt ravenous. There was
a little café opposite the entrance to the Bull Wall, she’d buy herself the paper and have lunch and a relaxing read. That was a very laid-back, Single-Woman-About-Town kind of thing
to do, Caroline assured herself. After all, she’d spent this type of day before when she and Richard had separated the first time and it hadn’t been too lonely.

She got back home about an hour and a half later, well pleased with herself. The light on the answering machine flashed impatiently. Obviously Richard wasn’t home. Caroline pressed the
play button and shrugged herself out of her coat.

‘Mother’s had a heart attack, Caroline. It’s serious. She might not survive. What in the name of God did you say to her? And why don’t you carry your mobile with you?
What’s the point in having one if you don’t use it?’ Richard’s frantic voice punctuated the silence of the penthouse.

Caroline’s hand flew to her mouth in horror. This wasn’t happening. It was a nightmare. When Mrs Yates had stalked out in high dudgeon she’d looked perfectly healthy, if
somewhat flushed. How could Richard now be saying that she might be going to die? And worse, that it was
her
fault.

‘The bitch, the old bitch,’ she muttered as tears welled up in her eyes. What a typically spiteful thing for her to go and do. And how disloyal of Richard to blame it on her. It was
true what they said about blood being thicker than water, Caroline thought despairingly. His mother and her opinions and feelings had always meant far more to Richard than she ever had. He simply
couldn’t see how controlled he was by her. She could see it clearly, but then she’d had the benefit of counselling and therapy. She’d read many books about dependency and
co-dependency, but Richard never wanted to know when she tried to talk to him about it.