Cinder X (Death Collectors, #2) (30 page)

I push the blankets off me, fighting to keep my body upright against the protest of my wings that flutter uncontrollably and bump against the wall behind me. “What happened?”

He walks to the middle of the room cautiously as he skims over my wings, desire filling his eyes and making my skin tingle. “Cameron put you in a state of sleepiness.” He sighs, unfolding his arms. “It’s a stupid Reaper thing.”

I shake my head, trying to find the nerves that control my wings to stop them from fluttering. “No, not that…” I rub my eyes several times as red creeps into my vision again. “I mean, what the hell happened back there? With the shadows… and you were talking to Cameron like that… Why?”

He takes long strides to my bedside and he still seems nervous and tense as he shifts his weight uneasily. Then, with reluctance, he sinks down beside the bed as if he’s bowing before me. “I haven’t been completely honest with you.”

I bend one of my knees up and wrap my arms around it to hold up my body. “I figured as much.”

“And I’m sorry for that.” He pauses, studying me with a look that makes my skin heat and my temper flare, but the rage is directed more at myself. “Remember how I told you that I had to make a choice whether I wanted to be a Reaper or Angel of Death?” he asks and I nod. “Well, I left out an important part of the story.”

I frown as I slant forward, trying to get more room for my wings. “I’m guessing it has to do with Cameron.”

He nods, his gaze flicking to my wings, and for a fleeting moment, yearning flashes across his face. I half expect him to grab me and take me here on the bed… which doesn’t sound so bad, yet at the same time, it does.

“It does have to do with Cameron.” He fiddles with his eyebrow piercing as he chooses his words carefully. “Cameron was faced with a choice, too.” He pauses again and I feel the tension. “Because he’s my brother. My
twin
brother.”

It takes a second or two for what he’s saying to register. Between everything that’s happened, I think I’ve entered a state of shock and it makes it hard to process things that seem so unrealistic.

When I speak, my voice comes out strangely calm. “So, he chose his Reaper blood,” I say. The story sounds strangely like my own story; whether I choose evil or good, Reaper or Angel, I now have an example of each. Of what I could become depending on what I choose. And now I have to choose. The wings growing out of my back are proof, but why just wings? Where’s the sign of my Reaper blood?

“My mother had us both and we both faced the same decision,” Asher explains, pressing his lips together when my wings tremble for no given reason. I keep waiting for him to say something, however it’s like he’s afraid to. “I chose to accept my Angel blood and he chose to accept his Reaper blood.”

“So you were—are—brothers,” I say, still processing that all this time they’ve been brothers. All this time both of them have omitted the truth from me. I’m not sure how I feel about it—whether I should feel anything about it—because it seems like there’s so many more things to worry about; worse things.

He nods. “Sadly, we are.”

The past starts to make a little more sense. Why they were always fighting so much. Granted, they are Reaper and Angel, but being brothers makes things more complicated. “So does he know who your dad is?”

He shakes his head, his eyes fixed on mine. “It’s the downfall of having a Reaper as a dad—they don’t make the best fathers. Besides, ours… well, he didn’t want anything to do with us.”

His sadness begins to get to me and I tentatively put a hand on his unshaven cheek, trying to comfort him even though I want to be comforted as well. “I’m sorry. Not just for your father and not knowing exactly who he is, but for Cameron being your brother.”

His lips tip up into the most depressing smile I’ve ever seen. “You don’t need to feel bad for me; you have your own family problems, too, and I lied to you.”

It feels like I should be more furious with him, but at the same time, I’m not sure I’d want to admit Cameron was my brother, either. “Asher, my mom… I saw her back in the crowd…” I force back the impending tears. “She’s dead, isn’t she?” I ask it as a question, but I already know the answer. “Was she a Grim Angel too… she said something about my grandfather being one.”

“I’m not sure…” He hesitates, but then something flashes in his eyes—false hope maybe. Then he swiftly shakes his head and grabs my legs, pulling me to him. “We don’t know for sure that she’s dead,” he says, his hands sliding up across the fabric of my torn up jeans until they reach my hips. “It could easily be the Anamotti messing with your head.”

“But it might not be, especially since you thought I was pure blood.”
Deep breaths. Keep breathing.
My mom might have not been the greatest mom in the world, but the thought of losing another parent aches inside my heart, burns in my soul, makes me feel so alone.

“I’m not sure. I can try and find out though, but it’ll probably take some time.” He pauses, conflicted. “I just want to make sure you prepare yourself for what I find out.”

“You mean, prepare myself for if she’s dead.” My bluntness shocks him, however he quickly composes himself and nods. “Prepare myself for another loss of a family member.” An excruciating revelation clicks inside my head. If I ended up choosing the right side through all of this, I’ll still end up alone if my mom is dead.

“I don’t know why you’re giving her false hope,” Cameron says, materializing in the doorway, looking as though he just showered and shaved; his skin is smooth, his blonde hair perfectly styled and his black shirt and jeans unwrinkled. “You know as well as I do that that wasn’t a joke. That her mother is probably dead…. That Ember has pure blood and that’s how she’s the last one standing…” He shuts his eyes and inhales deeply. “I can feel her mother’s soul in the air, along with a ton of other’s, waiting to be collected.” He reopens his eyes. “Lucky for her, the Reapers seem to be preoccupied with tracking you down at the moment, so her soul has some time left in her body, but still, she’s dead.”

“Well, maybe you can bring her back then,” I say, knowing I’m treading thin water here. “Like you did with that guy in the alley.”

He elevates his eyebrows at me with amusement dancing in his eyes. “You want to pay that price again?” He smirks, looking over my body from head to toe and it feels like he’s touching me, yet he’s not. “Only this time it’s much higher.”

I scowl at him, but part of me wants to run up and hug him—thank him for saving me by giving me the necklace. “What are you doing here?” I glance back at Asher “You said Reaper’s couldn’t come here?”

Cameron rolls his eyes, strutting through the doorway like he owns the place. “Full Reaper’s can’t, but half Reaper, half Angel’s can.”

“I don’t understand.” I look back and forth between the two of them. “Where are we?”

Asher and Cameron exchange a look and then Asher sighs. “Remember how I said that I spend most of my time in a place my mind creates, the one that I lived in. Sort of like an in between… well, we’re there.”

“In your mind?” I ask, flabbergasted.

Asher wavers. “Sort of, but not exactly.”

“Think of it as a place that belongs to only one person,” Cameron says. “And that one person can create whatever they want, build it however they want, and only let in whoever they want.”

“It sounds like a video game,” I remark with a frown.

“You could look at it that way,” Cameron says.

“Well who built this place?” I wonder.

Asher points at himself. “I did.”

“Then why is he here.” I aim a finger at Cameron. “When all he’s done is torture me.”

“You really believe that?” Cameron questions with speculation, eyeballing the necklace on my neck. “Plus, I helped you out back there, all because I care for you,” Cameron says as Asher cringes. “Despite what you think.”

“I don’t think anything,” I mutter, hating that I feel connected to both of them. That, at the moment, I feel a tug-o-war with my emotions; wanting to cave into Cameron, but also melt into Asher.

“Sure you don’t.” Cameron stops just short of the bed, right beside Asher. His face contorts with disgust. “Nice wings, by the way.” His face pinches as he stares at them. “It’s a disgusting look for you.” His head cocks to the side. “Although I do love the eyes.”

My fingers shoot up to my face and I gently touch the skin around them. “What’s wrong with my eyes?” Right on cue, red fills my vision again. For a moment, it looks like the walls are bleeding.

Cameron stares at the back of Asher’s head like he’s mentally compelling him to turn around and look at him. “Do you want to tell her or do you want me to?”

I look at Asher who’s looking at me gravely. “I don’t want to tell her at all,” he says with remorse.

“Well, she’s going to see eventually,” he steps aside and gestures to the mirror hanging on the wall, “so she might as well get it over with.”

I wait for Asher to say something, but he conclusively rises to his feet with a gut-wrenching look on his face as he backs away from me. At first, I think he’s trying to get away from me, but then he holds out his hand for me to take.

Nerves bubble inside my body as I take his offered hand. As he helps me to my feet, I start to tip back, but he pulls me forward, helping me balance.

“Keep your shoulders up,” he says, demonstrating by lifting his own. “It’ll help a little.”

I nod and then raise my shoulders higher, my chest sticking out and bearing more of the weight. Then, with his eyes fastened on mine, he backs up towards the mirror, guiding me along with him, taking small steps as I struggle to stay on my feet. When we reach it, he blocks my view for a moment, reluctant to let me see, but after a lot of mental deliberating, he irrevocably steps to the side and out of the way.

I inch forward, moving slowly until my reflection appears before me.

Wings of black and red.

Tall and strong.

Though shoulders curled in

Cursed with weight.

Eyes like ash.

Skin like snow.

Lips blood red.

Dark lines

Veined with death

Beneath black eyes.

Linked with the evil side

But below the surface

Good still thrives

Smoldering like cinders

Desperate to burn

Yet the chill inside

Won’t allow it

“Oh, my God,” I breathe, reaching for my face and running my fingers beneath my black eyes that don’t belong to me, yet somehow do. “I’m hideous.”

Asher moves up to the side of me and his reflection joins mine in the mirror, looking even more perfect beside my mutated self. “You’re not hideous. You’re beautiful.”

I shake my head, cringing at the lack of emotion my eyes portray. “Look at my eyes.”

“I think they are the best part,” Cameron remarks, stepping up to the other side of me, his reflection joining ours in the mirror.

We stand there together, taking in the sight of me. An Angel on one side and a Reaper on the other. My body feels drawn to both, my blood linked to both. Suddenly, I realize why everyone kept saying I’d have to make a choice between good or evil. At the time, I always thought that there was no way it could even be a choice. That good would win, no matter what.