Christy Barritt - Squeaky Clean 04 - Dirty Deeds (17 page)

I glanced back and saw that Lane had taken off his shirt as well. “I wish they wouldn’t.” Besides, I couldn’t relate. I’d dropped out of college to care for my ailing mom, so college was all about responsibility for me. There were times I dreamed about what it would be like to feel carefree, to not have to worry about paying my bills or if my dad would become homeless. I’d never had that luxury.

Riley nodded toward the door. “Do you want to leave?”

I shook my head. “No, I want to be a light in the darkness. I mean think about it. If you hadn’t decided to hang out with me, despite how messed up I was, then I wouldn’t have ever seen that you were different … in a good way.”

Riley grinned and kissed my forehead. “I love you, Gabby St. Claire.”

“I love you, too.”
I love you enough that I didn’t go watch the drop or see Clint get arrested.
I hadn’t totally stayed out of the investigation, but I hadn’t jumped in feet first, either. That was a good step for me.

All around us, Riley’s friends were stripping sheets from the beds and out of drawers. Veronica sashayed over to me and began wrapping some bedding around my midsection. I raised my hands in surprise, though the action afforded Veronica a better opportunity to toga-fy me. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to get you into the spirit.” She looked at Riley and playfully raised an eyebrow. “You’re next.”

I didn’t like the undertones of her statement. I’d like to say I wasn’t the jealous type, but I was. I knew she’d taken it hard when Riley broke up with her. She wasn’t still holding out for a chance with him, was she?

Veronica had already expertly draped a sheet over her lithe figure. Lillian grabbed some flowers from a vase and began wrapping them into wreaths to go around people’s heads.

Alcohol, already abundant, suddenly appeared from every direction. These people had just been waiting for the “burden” of Jackie’s kidnapping to be resolved, hadn’t they? I couldn’t judge. I’d been in bad places in my life before. I knew what it was like to seek temporary pleasures and relief from the demons in our lives.

But something about all of this seemed sad.

This scene around me was so foreign from how I’d pictured Riley. I couldn’t see him ever enjoying any of this. Had he been the good boy while everyone else partied? Had he been the designated driver to ensure no one got into accidents after a night of binging? Something just didn’t compute in my mind.

“Beer?” Derek held out a bottle to me.

I shook my head and yanked up the white sheet around me. “I don’t drink.”

He stared at me like I was the most un-American person he’d ever met.

“My father’s an alcoholic,” I explained. I hadn’t drank, even before Riley came into my life and I started going to church. Nope, I’d seen firsthand the negative impacts liquor could have on a person, and I didn’t want anything to do with it.

Derek shrugged. “Suit yourself. Riley?”

Riley shook his head and casually raised a hand. “I’m good.”

Derek raised his hands in the air as his mouth dropped open. “Oh, come on. What happened to the King of Guzzling?”

Riley grimaced. “I’m not that person anymore, Derek.”

Derek finally shrugged and took a step back. “Just means more for me, I guess!”

Riley and I really needed to talk. Like
really
needed to.

We settled on the couch to watch the spectacle around us. I couldn’t help but laugh when his friends, now fully inebriated, started dancing Gangnam Style. I couldn’t help but join them when they started into the Harlem Shake.

I was laughing so hard that my side hurt when I sat beside Riley again. “Maybe you guys can do a
Dead Poets Society
thing after this. Isn’t that what every rich college boy does?”

Riley chuckled. “I’ll let you think that.”

I licked my lips, realizing how thirsty I was, and then nodded toward the kitchen. “I’m going to grab a water, Oh Captain, My Captain. Do you want one?”

Riley ducked as a beach ball flew by his face. “Where did that come from?”

He didn’t look uncomfortable here. In fact, the way he lounged with his hand across the back of the couch and a smile on his face reminded me of all I loved about him. He had standards that he didn’t back down from, but he wasn’t afraid to be around people who weren’t like him.

“Some water sounds great.”

I walked into the kitchen and nearly stopped in my tracks when I saw Veronica there digging through the refrigerator. Her toga showed all of her curves and way too much of her legs. Suddenly, I wanted to grab one of those plush robes and throw it over her before Riley remembered what he was missing.

She looked up when I walked in. A coy smile tugged at her lips as she stood, a canister of whip cream in hand. “Gabby. Nice moves out there.”

I shrugged, trying to picture what I’d probably looked like. It was better if I didn’t know. “Just having some fun.”

Using her foot, she shut the fridge door, a little too hard if you asked me. She leaned there, staring at me, her eyes assessing. “You know, Riley looks really happy. I wanted to say congratulations to you both.”

I was impressed. Veronica was being very mature about this whole thing. I couldn’t honestly say that I’d do the same thing in her shoes. “Thank you.” I grabbed two bottles of water from the counter and started to take a step away.

Veronica kept talking, though. “I was worried about Riley after I broke up with him, you know. I feared he’d be devastated for a long time.”

I shook my head, thoughts colliding inside. She’d said,
after I broke up with him.
That wasn’t the story I heard. I tilted my head and chose my words carefully. I set the water back on the counter. “He broke up with you.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Is that what he told you? That’s so sweet. He probably just didn’t want you to feel like his second choice.”

Anger ripped through me, but I pushed it down. I had to stay in control, but I clearly could see where she was going with this. “I realize that you’re mean and vindictive, Veronica, but why don’t you give it a rest? After this week is over, I’ll never see you again.”

The way she raised her eyebrows and glided from the room made me wonder what exactly she had up her sleeve.

I wasn’t smiling this time when I sat beside Riley. “Where’s the water?”

I looked down at my hands, half expecting the bottles to be there. Whether I liked it or not, Veronica had rattled me. “I must have forgotten.”

“Is everything okay?”

I was determined not to let Veronica get to me, but despite my best efforts, her proclamation that I was Riley’s second choice still replayed in my head. “We really should talk sometime.”

His eyes swam with emotions as he examined my face. Finally, he took my hand. “Let’s talk now.”

CHAPTER 22

He tugged me to my feet and led me from the room. As soon as the door closed, the loud music and raucous party noise instantly muted. We kept walking until Riley opened a door leading to a small porch overlooking the back of the resort. The pools glimmered under the moonlight, and the mountains seemed to guard the entire place.

No one else was on this porch, so I took one rocking chair and Riley took the other. He looked off into the distance, and I could tell something was weighing heavy on his mind. Finally, he leaned toward me.

“There are parts of my life that I’ve never told you about, Gabby.” His voice sounded scratchy.

My heart began pounding in my ears. I’d gotten a few insights into how he was at college, but what if there was more? What if I didn’t like something he told me? “Like what?”

“I’m not very proud of some of the things I’ve done.” He rubbed his hands together. He stayed quiet, swallowed, and then swallowed again. Finally, he looked at me. “You know I grew up in a Christian home.”

“Right. We’ve talked about that before.” I’d heard all about how his family had celebrated other people at Christmas by serving at homeless shelters. They’d done without so others could simply live. Apparently, every time the doors of the church were opened, Riley was there. His parents were still married and still happy, and his mom called him every week to make sure he was doing okay. They were basically a
Leave It to Beaver
family.

“Well, my junior year of college, I was roommates with this guy named Scoggins. He was a people magnet, if you know what I mean. Everyone just loved him. He had charisma. He was always riding me about my beliefs.”

“That’s hard.”

“I found myself slowly being worn down. I saw how happy Scoggins was, and he wasn’t a prude. I convinced myself that I could have it both ways. I could be a Christian and a partier. I could be a witness by infiltrating crowds of people who weren’t like me. They were going to see something different in me.”

“But … ”

“Instead of me influencing them, they influenced me. I joined a fraternity and gave in to the party scene. I’d thought I was stronger than that, but when it came down to it my faith was actually pretty brittle. I found myself feeding on the popularity and the fast times and the rush I got when I did crazy things.”

“That does not sound like the Riley I know, at all.”

He nodded. “Tell me about it. The person I was disappeared before my eyes, yet, in truth, it was a slow process. One choice at a time. One decision at a time. One party. One beer. Before I knew it, I was this person I never thought I’d be. I thought I was happy, but I always had to feed myself more, you know?

“I think you’re the one who told me that worldly pleasures won’t fulfill you. I just had no idea you knew that firsthand.”

“There’s more.” He looked up, and the pain in his eyes nearly sent me toppling out of my chair. I wanted to reach for him, but I sensed that he needed some space to get through this.

“Scoggins and I went to a party one night. It was close to graduation, and we were just ready to be done. I’d told myself that this was it for me. After I graduated and had my degree, I was turning my life around. No more partying or drinking. That night, Scoggins and I had probably both been drinking too much, truth be told. Actually, we
were
drinking too much; we just didn’t think we were. He drove.” Riley paused, swallowing again and closing his eyes. “Scoggins hit a car. Killed the driver. Scoggins died, too.”

I sucked in a soft gasp. “And you?”

“I was unscathed.” He shook his head. “That really woke me up, and I realized what an idiot I’d been.”

“I had no idea.” I half expected to blink and discovered I’d daydreamed this conversation. I’d never imagined Riley to be that kind of guy. In my mind, he was the opposite of me and, since I was a screw up, that meant that he was near perfect.

Riley continued. “I went through some really dark days, Gabby.”

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?”

He let out a long breath and stared out into the distance. “Honestly, I just try to put that part of my life behind me. I know God has forgiven me. Sometimes, I haven’t forgiven myself. I should have known Scoggins was too drunk to drive. I should have stopped him. But I didn’t. Two lives were taken from this earth as a result.”

I put my hand on his arm. “Oh, Riley … ”

“I’d hoped it would be a wake-up call and set me back on the right path. I got in deeper, though, trying to numb my pain. At the end of my internship, Ed Laskin invited me to his home. That’s where I met Veronica. We started dating. Then I went out to California to work as a prosecutor. Veronica came with me. I won a huge case and really let everything go to my head. I started drinking more, partying more.”

Ah, he must be speaking of his days out in L.A. That was right before he moved to Norfolk.

“But, the good news,” he looked up at me and a soft smile tugged at his features, “is that all of it eventually led me back to my faith. I realized how empty living for myself was.”

“If not the death of Scoggins, what caused the change?”

“One of my friends at the district attorney’s office actually. He was a Christian. He saw what a mess I’d become and really helped to point me in the right direction. He was patient and always there when I needed him. He gave me chances when I didn’t deserve them. I vowed that was the kind of person I wanted to be, someone who simply showed people love and who reflected Christ.”

I squeezed his arm again. “You have been.”

He just stared ahead. “So, when I made all of these life changes, Veronica was kind of caught in the crossfire, so to speak. She’d gotten engaged to one man, but I’d turned my life around and become someone else.”

I tried to picture all of that playing out. It couldn’t have been pretty. “What happened?”

Riley shrugged. “We broke up. That’s when I decided I had to get away from everything. I moved to Norfolk. I met you.”

I shook my head. “But then Veronica showed up again. I clearly remember, because I was there that night.”

He nodded. “Right. Veronica said she wanted to give my new lifestyle a shot. She insisted that we could still be a couple, that we both just had to compromise some. It just wasn’t going to work, Gabby. We were two totally different people. I wanted to run away from that materialistic lifestyle. She wanted to run toward it.”

“So she broke up with you,” I muttered. My heart thudded. What Veronica had told me was true.

Riley’s eyebrows squeezed together. “No, I broke up with her. I’d known from the beginning that things weren’t going to work out the second time around. I should have told her that from the start. She’s very good at getting her way. She was not happy with me, though, and I can’t blame her.”

Relief filled me, feeling like a balm to my heart. I hadn’t been his second choice. “You broke up with her? Really?”

He grabbed my hand and stroked his thumb over my knuckles. “Yeah, really. Why do you ask it like that? You don’t believe me?”

“No, it’s not that. It’s not that at all. It’s just because Veronica told me … ” I stopped myself and shook my head. I didn’t really want to go there. “Never mind. It’s not important.”