Christmas With the Alexanders (2 page)

Not tonight.

“I’ll be back tomorrow,” she muttered, not sure who she was trying to reassure. It was her daughter’s first Christmas. She had every right to want it to be filled with happy memories.

She grinned at Hope in the rearview mirror before backing out carefully. “Time to go home, baby girl.”
 

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“WHO ARE YOU texting? I’m starting to get a little jealous.” Penny poked Matt in the ribs, though it was obvious she was just joking by the way she snuggled up against Matt’s back and wrapped her arms around his waist.
 

“I’m not texting.” Matt covered the hand she’d rested against his belly with one of his.
 

Elliott believed in love; it was hard to be a part of his family and not believe in fate, but he’d been a little skeptical that it could happen to guys like him. Rough, blunt guys who didn’t have a Hollywood-perfect face and a lot of smooth lines.
 

But Matt was a rugged, ex-military man. Eli had a lot more in common with him than he did his brothers. If love could happen for him, then maybe there really was hope for the rest of them.
 

“Kaylee missed her check-in. She was supposed to e-mail when she arrived at her parents’ house. The GPS on her car places her there but I didn’t get a confirmation from her.”

Eli snapped to attention. “Is she okay? Does she need anything?”

“She’s on her way home now. It’s just not like her to miss a check-in. She knows if she doesn’t keep us updated, she’ll go back to having a constant shadow. As much as we’ve enjoyed hanging with her these past months, I think she was glad to get back to normal.”

More than anything, she was probably happy to get some time away from Eli. He sighed. There were a lot of thing he regretted about his summer and the way he’d treated Kay was at the top of the list. It wasn’t her fault she rubbed him the wrong way, but there was just
something
about her.
 

He gritted his teeth. There was something about her all right. She was the epitome of his “type” except for one small detail.
 

The fact that she was frickin’ jailbait.
 

When he’d been protecting her, fate had taken every opportunity to test his control, from her never-ending collection of snug sweaters to his sister-in-law Ridley
accidentally
booking them into the same hotel room on a trip. He’d offered her the bed that night and camped out on a small cot the harried concierge had brought them. But it had been a special brand of torture lying there all night, listening to the rustle of sheets as she moved. Imagining the fabric sliding over her skin.

Torture.

And enough to make him want to give his libido a scalding-hot bath. She wasn’t actually underage, but from his perspective, she might as well be. He was disgusted with himself for even thinking about her that way. She was just a kid and he was now officially a dirty old man. There was easily a decade between their ages. And even if they could get past the age difference, how could she accept his past? He sighed and pushed the idea out of his head.

“I’m just glad we caught the bastard sending those threatening letters,” Eli grumbled.
 

Over the past summer, they’d been working around the clock trying to uncover the identity of the person sending Kaylee threatening letters. She’d had a near-constant security detail, which had been a challenge for her and for him. Elliott had finally traced the paper used in one of the envelopes to a local store and had been able to find the guy who’d bought it, an old classmate of Kay’s.
 

His motive appeared to have been simple jealousy. When he’d seen how well she was doing as part of the new pop group, Divine, he’d asked her for a loan and she’d turned him down. So he’d decided to send her the letters as payback.
 

At least that was the story they assumed was true. The guy had claimed that he had no idea what was in the letters he was mailing. That someone had left him money in exchange for sending them.
 

Which was ridiculous.
 

Either way, Eli had spent quite a bit of time guarding Kaylee over the summer. Time when he’d had to constantly remind himself that he was thirty years old and she was barely out of her teens. That she was sweet and softhearted and he was more like a surly bear.
 

Most importantly that, despite having a baby, she was sheltered and innocent when it came to male-female interactions. He was…
not
.
 

He almost choked on his drink as he imagined her reaction to the things in his room at home. He kept a fully kitted closet with everything from blindfolds and bindings to clamps and floggers. He would never bring her there, of course. As soon as she walked in and saw the mirrors over the bed she’d probably faint.

They’d spent most of their time at Kaylee’s apartment. Her
tiny
apartment. Then when Matt had come to work for him, he’d assigned Matt to her security detail because he trusted him.

Also because you can’t deal with being that close to her all the time.

Eli realized that Matt and Penny were both watching him closely so purposely made his voice casual when he asked, “Is she coming over later?”

His attempt at nonchalance didn’t appear to have worked because Matt gave him a knowing look. “No, she’s not coming. Yes, I invited her. I even offered to pick her up. I think she was planning to spend the evening with her family.”

“Good. That’s good.” Eli ignored Penny’s smile and turned gratefully when he heard someone calling his name. He didn’t even mind when he saw his mother waving him over. He’d rather deal with more of her pointed questions about his love life than think about all the reasons he needed to stay away from Kaylee Wilhelm.

IT ONLY TOOK Kay a few minutes to drive to the new apartment complex she’d moved into six months ago. It was always a thrill to drive up and realize she lived here. It wasn’t the flashiest or most expensive place, but it was
her
s.
 

One of the only things she’d accomplished completely on her own.

The temperature felt like it had dropped another ten degrees in the time it had taken her to drive home. Kay shivered and pulled the zipper of her coat all the way up to the top of her throat. She covered Hope with another baby blanket to keep her warm and out of the wind and hustled into the building, walking up the two flights of stairs as fast as she could. Her fingers struggled to turn the key in the lock, they were so cold.

“What I wouldn’t give for a hot bath right now.” She finally got the door open and then dropped the diaper bag as soon as she made it inside. Hope jumped at the loud sound.
 

“I’m sorry. Mommy’s not doing such a good job today, huh?”
 

She uncovered her daughter and tickled her chubby little belly as she unfastened the buckles holding her into the car seat. Once she was free, Hope kicked and squirmed happily. She cooed nonsense words as they walked down the hall to her bedroom. Kay grabbed the bright blue bouncy chair sitting next to her bed and pulled it into the bathroom.
 

“I need you to be a good girl so I can shower. Hmm? Can you do that for Mama?”
 

Hope gurgled and gnawed on the end of her fist while watching Kay with her big bright eyes. With her perfectly smooth brown skin and curly pigtails, she looked like a little doll. Kay blew gently on the baby’s face until she let out a belly laugh. Her heart flipped over the way it did every time. The sound of her daughter’s laughter still had the power to stun her. It was the most beautiful sound in the world.

After carefully strapping Hope into the bouncy seat and giving her the plastic unicorn to bite on, Kay stripped quickly and stepped into the shower. Experience had taught her that she had about three minutes before Hope got antsy.
 

She soaped her body quickly and then scrubbed her hands over her face. At the sound of the first soft whimper, Kay stuck her head around the shower curtain and blew a loud kiss. Hope grinned and swung her legs vigorously, bouncing herself up and down in the seat.
 

After rinsing off, Kay grabbed her towel and wrapped it around her body, shivering slightly as the cool air hit her skin.
 

“Oh, my sweet baby girl. I remember the days when I could take a bubble bath for an hour and had time to do my hair and makeup. Now I consider it a good day if I remember to brush my teeth and put on matching shoes.”

Kay smiled down at the baby as she corralled her long black hair and twisted it into a low ponytail. Hope smiled back, then grimaced. A few seconds later, Kay knew it was time for a diaper change.
 

“You just had to wait until after I showered, huh?” She laughed softly as Hope just continued to regard her with a sour look.
 

Kay changed into a soft, nubby pink sweater and jeans and pulled on thick socks. Then she went back up front to retrieve the diaper bag.

“Okay, let’s get you clean and then you can play with your blocks.” Kay strapped Hope on the changing table in her room and then reached underneath for the wipes and a clean diaper. When her hand hit empty space, she remembered that she’d put the last of everything in the diaper bag. She’d been planning to go to the store before the snow started. But she had enough to last them through the night.
 

She grabbed the diaper bag and pulled out the box of wipes. Then a change of clothes. A board book. She started pulling things out frantically. Hope’s favorite blankie. A pacifier.
 

“I
couldn’t
have left all the diapers at Mom’s house.” She let out a soft groan when she got to the bottom of the diaper bag.
 

Kay sat on the floor right where she stood and let her head fall forward into her hands. Her heart raced as the stress of the last few weeks finally caught up with her.
 

She’d never claimed to be a superwoman. Doing it all wasn’t a statement of girl power but of necessity. She could take care of Hope, record another album, and work full time because she hadn’t seen any other choices. Sure, she could have given up on recording and it would make her life a lot easier in the short run. No more late-night sessions or appearances. She could spend more time with her family and actually get some sleep for once.
 

Even though it would make her life easier right now, she couldn’t do it. It would mean turning her back on an amazing opportunity. It would mean giving up on her dreams. If she didn’t reach for her dreams, what kind of role model would she be for her child? Her own mother had given up on her career as a singer when she got pregnant with Kaylee. She was determined not to make that same mistake.
 

There were times when her mom looked like she was a million miles away that Kay knew she was thinking about the old days. Her mom thought she was selfish not to give it all up for Hope, but she couldn’t. Did that make her a bad mom?

Maybe Hope is better off with them.
 

After a long, wretched moment, Kay shook her head. There had been many days she’d wondered what her mother would be like if she’d kept her career. If she’d be kinder. Happier. If she’d have a little more love in her heart for her daughter instead of criticism. Kay was determined that Hope would never have to think about that.

“Hope has the most important thing. A mother who loves her. She’s happy.” It was the only thing Kay cared about, giving her baby girl a happy childhood. Hope would never have a reason to question if she was loved or if she was a disappointment to her mom.
 

Kay brushed her hair back from her face and stood. She had a decision to make. Go back to her parents’ house and pick up the diapers or go to the store and buy more. Her parents were closer and she wouldn’t have to stand in line.
 

But at the store you won’t get a lecture
, she thought.
 

Quickly, Kay retrieved the spare diaper she always kept tucked in the inner pocket of her handbag. It had seemed like overkill to place an extra one there, but she was glad she’d done it now. A few minutes later, she had the baby cleaned up and redressed.

Hope squirmed under her hand, desperate to escape the changing table and get down to the floor to play.

“Okay, little miss. I guess we need to run to the store. Let’s go!”

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ELI PUT HIS beer down on the table next to the window. His mom stood next to him, looking out at the worsening storm. Every so often, she’d glance down at the watch on her wrist and then go back to frowning at the glass.

“What’s wrong, Mom? Are we expecting someone else?” Eli looked out the window, but he couldn’t see much beyond the flurry of snowflakes and the crystalline patterns the ice formed on the pane.

“I overheard Matt talking about Kaylee. He said she had to go back out, but then she never called to let him know she got back home safely.”

Eli waved Matt over. When Matt joined them he asked “Did Kay call yet?”

Matt shook his head slowly. “Not yet. She’s still not at home according to this, but she’s not answering her phone.” He showed Eli the blip moving on his cell phone screen. “She shouldn’t be out in this storm. I don’t know what the hell she’s doing. It shouldn’t have taken her this long to run to the store.” He spoke lightly, but there was a thread of worry underneath.
 

Matt had been guarding Kay for months, and they’d become friends. He knew her usual habits, where she went and when. If he was worried, then there was reason to be.

Eli pulled up the GPS application on his own phone. It was useful at times to keep tabs on lower-risk clients, although technically he should have taken Kay’s tracking ID out of his system since he wasn’t guarding her anymore. He pulled up her identification number. A second later, there was a small red blip on his screen. She was definitely not home.