Christmas With Her Ex (15 page)

Kelsie’s distraction evaporated. The most important person here was Winsome. ‘Of course.’ When she peered in past the folded doors her new friend’s eyes were huge with fear and she leant in and clasped her hand. ‘I’m here. I’ll be in the front and I’ll find Connor.’

‘Tell them to take me to St Douglas’s Private Hospital.’

Kelsie looked at the men. ‘Can you do that?’ It wouldn’t work like that in Australia.

The paramedic nodded. ‘The main hospitals are very busy and it would be quicker than through their emergency department anyway.’

A
T THE SAME
time, to Connor’s relief, Connie Wilson woke up in strong labour and as far as her pregnancy went, the waiting was almost over. Thanks to all the stop-start contractions her labour progressed rapidly through first stage, and if he didn’t get to meet the train he couldn’t complain because he would meet the new baby Wilson and be there for her parents.

The room was quiet, peaceful, and Connor stood, apparently relaxed, at the end of the bed, waiting. It was always the same and the tension never left him until the baby was safe in its mother’s arms but neither his patients nor staff ever guessed that.

‘I love you,’ Connor heard Harry Wilson whisper to his wife, raw emotion thick in his voice, and for one fractured second Connor felt a sudden surge of loss so great he actually flinched. Why didn’t he have the chance to share this moment with the woman he had always loved?

But he pulled his thoughts back to the moment. He’d tried and failed and unless he did something soon, she’d be gone from his life once again.

When he glanced back at Harry the man’s eyes were
suspiciously bright as they darted nervously to Connor and then back at his wife. But Connie was elsewhere, concentrating in her own world, as she strained to ease her baby down the birth canal.

There was a little while to go but the end was drawing closer and then everyone could relax.

A senior midwife appeared around the curtain and crossed to whisper in Connor’s ear. ‘You have a phone call at the desk.’

If it had been anyone less unflappable he would have glared a refusal but the midwife in charge was no fool. So what could be this important? ‘Can you tell them I’ll ring back?’

‘It’s about your grandmother. Apparently she’s been admitted downstairs with chest pain.’

He closed his eyes. Looked back at Harry and Connie. Estimated the amount of time he had before the birth. There was no sign of the baby yet, Connie had just started pushing, but would it upset them if he left, even for a few minutes? The last thing he wanted was to stress Connie. But what if his gran was critically ill?

His grandmother had always been there for him and it was his responsibility to ensure she had the best care. It was his responsibility that everyone had the best care.

Unexpectedly Connie leaned up on her elbow and panted at him. Waved him away with her hand. ‘For goodness’ sake. Go And see if your gran is okay. We’ll be here when you come back.’ Connie waved him away again. ‘Go. Hurry. I’m busy.’ And went back to pushing.

He stared at Connie in astonishment, shook his head with a smile and went. Swiftly. There was a junior midwife
standing at the lift, holding it for him, and he shot her a warm thank-you glance, then looked back over his shoulder at the senior midwife. She shooed him off, too. ‘I’ll page you when we get close.’

When the lift doors opened on the ground floor the first person he saw was Kelsie. His relief was enormous. He hadn’t lost her yet. And she’d been with his gran in her time of need.

He allowed himself one brief, soul-enriching look and then scanned ahead. ‘Where is she?’

‘She’s being assessed by the physician. She’s okay, Connor. She was in a lot of pain but I think it’s reflux, though they’re ruling out cardiac or a clot. She demanded they bring her here.’

‘She’s a fighter,’ he reassured himself more than Kelsie. Then glanced back at the lift. Kelsie had said hs grandmother was okay. Did he believe Kelsie? He should go back to the Wilsons. But he couldn’t. ‘I want to see her.’

‘Of course you do. She wants to see you too.’ Kelsie led the way. Knocked on a door and opened it on a room where a tall gangly man in a black suit stood beside the bed. Winsome looked pale, and very still, with her eyes closed.

‘Ah. Connor.’ The man put out his hand and Connor shook it briefly. ‘I’ve given her something for the pain and she’s a bit drowsy now. We’re about to run an ECG to check her heart, and then we’ll scan her, but I hear she’s been on that train, living the high life again.’

‘My fault. I went with her this time.’ He stepped closer to the bed. Picked up his grandmother’s hand
and squeezed it between both of his. Her eyelids fluttered and she smiled drowsily up at him.

He pretended to frown at her. ‘You said you’d managed for eighty years without me.’

‘I’ll be fine. Soon.’ Her eyes closed again.

She looked so pale, he thought. ‘What about her bloods?’

‘We’re waiting for results. But she’s tough. Given herself a scare, though.’

His heart squeezed with the dilemma of staying or leaving to go back upstairs. ‘She’s given me one as well.’

‘She’ll be fine with rest. I’ll keep her in overnight.’ The doctor’s pager bleeped and he excused himself. Connor took a step to pick up the clinical notes when his own name was paged over the loudspeaker.

‘Would Dr Black please go to Maternity immediately.’

He glanced up at the speaker. Torn. ‘It’s Connie’s baby.’

Kelsie watched his indecision with a surge of empathy. Poor Connor. The struggle. He wanted to do everything. This was the Connor she knew. Bless him. All of it was good. ‘You can’t do everyone’s jobs. Or save everyone. You go and do yours. I’ll stay here until you get back.’

‘She’s the closest thing I’ve had to a mother for so many years. I love her. I don’t want to let her down.’

Kelsie understood that. She understood a lot of things now. ‘You couldn’t let her down. Your grandmother is in good hands. The doctor is great. Go. I’ll be here.’

He nodded. He trusted Kelsie to stay with her until he could return.

‘You’re right.’ Unexpectedly, he paused and searched her face, said, ‘I would have been there for you, you know,’ before he dropped a swift kiss on her lips and spun away.

She heard his voice again as he disappeared. ‘Hold that lift.’

Kelsie touched her lips with her fingers. He would have been where for her? She could still feel the imprint of Connor’s mouth on hers.

She didn’t understand his comment but wished she’d kissed him back, one last time, then hugged the feeling that he had trusted her with the most important person in his life. Anything else was too complicated to think about.

An hour later Connor was back. ‘Baby Wilson has arrived!’ There was immense satisfaction as well as quiet relief in his voice and Kelsie smiled.

‘A bouncing baby girl who’s taken to the outside world with a calm acceptance that’s left her besotted parents very happy.’

She loved it that he glowed with relief. He was a very good man. ‘I’m so glad you were there for them.’

He grinned at her. Almost buckled her knees with the power of it. ‘Me too. Thank you for staying here so I didn’t have to worry about Gran.’

‘My pleasure.’ She’d been glad she could help him but it was over now. Everything was over and she should go. They didn’t need her any more. ‘Dr Miles has been
back. Your grandmother’s tests have all come back negative, as well as the positive result from the medication treating her reflux. So it all points to that being the cause.’

She pinned a bright smile on her face, even though she was suddenly feeling very flat for no reason at all. Which should have been bizarre with this handsome man smiling at her like she was the embodiment of Christmas. ‘So everything has turned out well.’

Except now she needed to leave. ‘And I have to get to my hotel. Now that you’re back. Check my bag made it.’

His smile dimmed. ‘I’ll take you.’

She smiled, realising she couldn’t help the swift lift in her spirits and that in itself frightened her. Very much. No. It was better to make the break now. Stop dragging out this painful feeling of loss. Leave Connor with his gran in private.

Though the reasoning was hard to pin down right at this second as she looked at Connor. She wanted to hug him and share his relief that his gran would be fine. All she knew was that this goodbye hurt. ‘Don’t worry about it. I can catch a cab.’

The humour had faded from his face. ‘I said I’ll take you.’

He couldn’t leave the hospital and they both knew it. ‘What about your grandmother?’

‘Max will be here in a minute. We’ll go as soon as he arrives. She’ll sleep for a couple of hours yet and Max will stay with her.’

She shook her head. ‘I’ll catch a cab.’

‘Not on Christmas Eve you can’t.’ Connor could feel
his frustration building. Why couldn’t she at least let him do this for her?

Would this roller-coaster day never end? So much had happened and he didn’t want her to leave until they’d had a chance to talk.

She was backing away towards the door and he followed her. Glanced once over his shoulder at his sleeping grandmother and decided this was better dealt with outside in the corridor than in a sick room.

‘Goodbye, Connor. Give my love to your grandmother when she wakes up.’

What was she doing? Had he got it so badly wrong? Didn’t the way they’d made love mean anything to her?

He suspected it had and they needed to talk about it. It shouldn’t be rushed but she’d be out of here in seconds. Like she was afraid of him.

Connor fought to hang onto his feeling of impending doom. He wanted to ask her to stay. Give what they had a chance. But she was going. Leaning towards the exit as she waited for him to return her goodbye.

Tomorrow she’d be gone from the country. And he hadn’t had enough time to know if they were right together or still so very, very wrong.

Though even in the brief time since they’d parted he had more faith in his own feelings for her than he had in Kelsie’s for him—and damn right he was scared that she’d leave him at the last minute if he opened himself up to loving her again. What if he never recovered?

He ran his hands through his hair. She was the only woman, apart from his mother, whom he should have
told to come back, who’d torn his heart. Should he risk it all yet again, and ask her to stay?

He glanced up and down the deserted corridor but nobody was in sight.

For a moment he wished he’d never got on that damn train and met her again. ‘Stop, Kelsie.’

She paused, turned back to him.

It was now or never and he couldn’t bear the thought of never. ‘I gave you my heart once before and you walked away from me. Unlike my mother, you didn’t give me the chance to say come back, so I’m doing it now. I want you to stay.’ But he was terrified he was going to lose at the last minute again.

It hadn’t been the most romantic declaration. He couldn’t believe what this woman did to him. How insane this entire crazy day had been. How desperate he suddenly felt. He couldn’t believe he’d mentioned his mother. His loss. That he’d admitted he would be the one hurt if it didn’t work out—so much for not putting himself out there again.

She shook her head. ‘I can’t. We’re the same as we always were. On different sides of the world. But it was wonderful seeing you, Connor. Goodbye.’

So she’d missed the whole point. Though he had to admit it wasn’t surprising seeing as his declaration had been so garbled. But he didn’t believe distance would keep them apart.

Kelsie had no idea what she was saying. She was desperate to get away before she burst into tears. Her brain was all fogged again with the emotion this guy could stir up in her. Not all of it was good emotion because
if she admitted she was wrong now then maybe she’d been wrong fifteen years ago and she’d been responsible for all that wasted time. It didn’t bear thinking about. Not at this moment anyway.

She watched him run his hand through his hair. He did that a lot when he was stressed. And she had caused him this stress and she was sorry for that.

He was saying, ‘Please. Let me take you to your hotel and we can talk. You said you’re not leaving until tomorrow. And you don’t even have to go then. Stay and have a drink with me.’

Almost with relief she seized on the argument her brain would listen to. Nothing had changed with him. This was why she’d run away from him before. He didn’t listen when she said she needed her own space.

She took a couple of deep breaths. His face was serious. Determined, yet there was a vulnerability about him she hadn’t seen before. It was that that made her pause. They began to walk towards the lifts together, even though she hadn’t agreed.

Then he spoiled it. ‘Do you really have to fly back to Australia tomorrow?’

Her voice quieted as a nurse approached. ‘I have to. I have a ticket. And I start work in seven days. My patients need me.’

He frowned. Shook his head. ‘Can’t you delay your flights?’ He pushed the lift call button with unnecessary force. ‘Put them off!’

‘Why?’

‘I’m asking you to stay.’

‘I
can’t.’
Couldn’t he understand she’d organised her life too?

‘We need more time.’

And there it was again.
Give in, Kelsie. Do what I want
. She’d fought damn hard for her independence. Paid a huge price for it too, including the loss of the man in front of her. Had worked hard for respect in her profession. For the trust of the women she cared for. She’d like to see him fly away from his patients for her. He obviously didn’t care about the women she’d looked after during their whole pregnancies. ‘No, Connor. I won’t do that.’

‘I see.’ No expression. How did he do that?
She wanted to stamp her feet and scream at him.

He stopped and in that same expressionless voice, ‘Then I’m sorry I pushed you to stay.’

‘Have a good Christmas, Connor. Give my love to your grandmother. I’ll get my own cab.’

He sighed heavily and turned away and she couldn’t help but wonder if her damned independence was worth the loss of this man—again.

Connor woke on Christmas morning and he’d never felt so alone. With sudden clarity he knew he didn’t want to wake and feel like this ever again.

It wasn’t too late. She hadn’t flown home yet. He just needed a chance to tell her he would come to her in Australia as soon as he could.

He hadn’t really expected her to cancel her flights. They’d discussed that, he thought with a wry smile. When he’d panicked and pressured her to suspend all
her flights and plans just because he’d said they should spend more time together. He couldn’t say he blamed her for storming off.