Christmas Steele (9 page)

She shrugged, not knowing how to continue
once she had started. “Oh, you know, just wondering and stuff.”
Awesome answer, Lacy.

Jason’s smile was wry. “You’re acting weird,
even for you.” He leaned down to bestow a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll
see you.”

“See you,” she called lamely, staring at him
as he jogged to his truck. It wasn’t that she wanted to kiss him
every time she saw him. No, scratch that, she did want to kiss him
every time she saw him. But common sense told her it wasn’t healthy
for their friendship to dwell on their attraction to each other.
Still, the sisterly kisses on the cheek the last couple of times
they parted had left her feeling suspicious. Was his sudden lack of
interest in her due to his interest in the mystery blond?

“Get a grip, Lacy,” she told herself just as
her phone rang. By the tone, she knew it was Tosh. “Hello?”

“You left me a cryptic message about a
falling ladder,” he said. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I was stuck in the attic, but I’m
out now. Crisis averted.”

“How did you get out?” Was it her
imagination, or was his tone suspicious?

“Jason. He was the only one I could
reach.”

Tosh sighed. “I knew no good could come of my
counseling session today. Sorry I wasn’t there for you, and sorry
I’m seemingly never there for you. I miss you. After Christmas, can
we catch up? What are you doing for New Year’s Eve?”

“Not a thing,” Lacy said, staring wistfully
in the direction Jason had gone.

“Is it too early to claim you?”

“Claim away,” Lacy said. “What are we going
to do?”

“It’s a surprise,” Tosh replied.

“You haven’t thought of anything yet, huh?”
she asked.

“No, but I will,” he promised. “And it will
be epic. Prepare to be impressed.”

“I’ll begin preparing immediately,” she
promised. “Have fun tonight whatever you’re doing.”

“I will,” he said, then, after a pause, “Your
feelings aren’t hurt that I’m not taking you along on these
shindigs, are they? Because you said we’re not dating, and you know
the type of gossip it would cause if you suddenly started showing
up everywhere as my party date, especially because they’re mostly
old people, and you know how old people talk.”

“Tosh,” she said when she could get a word in
edgewise. “Of course my feelings are hurt. I hate you forever, and
our friendship is finished. That’s why I called you from the attic
today, to tell you how wounded I am that you’re not dragging me
along to all your senior citizen events.”

“Ha, ha,” he said, sounding relieved. “Point
taken. Fine, you’re not upset with me, and we’re spending New
Year’s together. This is turning out to be a productive
conversation. Maybe we should take a stab at ending world hunger
while I have you on the line.”

“Sorry, I’ve got to go give myself a
manicure,” she said.

“There’s that depth I love and admire. See
you soon, I hope.”

“See you, Tosh. Have fun with your old
people.”

“That sounds so wrong when you say it,” he
said. “Later, Lacy.” She hung up and tucked the phone back in her
pocket, smiling until she stepped inside and faced her mother.

Chapter 9

“I still can’t believe you failed to tell me
you had a boyfriend.”

Kill me now, Lord,
Lacy silently
prayed. Out loud, she said, “Mom, do we have to discuss this now?”
She gave a pointed glance to Gladys and her young grandson, Sean
who were joining them for dinner.

“All I’m saying, Lacy, is that you could have
let me know. Sometimes I think you purposely try to exclude me from
your life.”

“Mom, Jason is not my boyfriend. We’re just
friends, as I’ve told you several times now.”

“That’s not what it looked like when I walked
in with the lights off and you two snuggled up on the couch
together,” her mother said.

Lacy could practically feel Gladys squirm in
her eagerness to dart away and begin spreading the news that Lacy
and Jason were together and had been caught canoodling. “I thought
you were dating Pastor Underhill,” Gladys said, her eyes narrowing
shrewdly on Lacy’s face to watch her reaction to that
accusation.

“I’m not dating anyone, Gladys,” Lacy said.
“And Jason and I were not doing anything more than sitting on the
couch having a conversation. And we were not snuggled together,
Mom. We were on separate cushions.”
And I shouldn’t have to
explain myself to any of you,
she thought. Though maybe the
diversion was proving beneficial for her family’s other problem.
Her mother hadn’t once mentioned the fact that Mr. Middleton had
stayed for dinner without being expressly invited. He and her
grandmother were sitting sedately by, watching the conversation
bounce back and forth between mother and daughter.

“And I don’t understand why you insist on not
dating anyone. You’re a beautiful young woman, even more so when
you dress up and do something with your hair. Why waste what you’ve
been given? Enjoy life and dating while you’re young,” her mother
added as if Lacy hadn’t spoken.

“Don’t listen to her, Lacy. You’re too young
to get serious with anyone,” Lacy’s father said with a patronizing
you’ll-always-be-my-little-girl smile.

“For heaven’s sake, Clint. When we were her
age she was already born. She’s twenty six and not getting any
younger.”

“A person doesn’t have to be young to find
love,” Mr. Middleton added calmly.

Lacy could see her mother gearing up for
another tirade, so she cut her off at the pass. “I think we’re
boring poor Sean to death, everyone. It looks like he and I are
both finished with our food. Why don’t we go play video games in
the living room, Sean?”

Sean’s face lit at the proffered lifeline,
but she was as glad for the escape as he was, maybe even more so
because she had been the center of the discussion for so long
now.

“I’m glad you brought your game system,” she
whispered as she left the room. “You have no idea how glad.”

Sean laughed. “Yeah, I remember you said you
like video games. It’s nice to have someone to play with. I don’t
know anyone else here, and Gran isn’t one much for games.”

Lacy thought of Gladys’s plastic-covered
living room and felt a wave of pity for Sean. She could only
imagine how uncomfortable he was in the old woman’s home. He
couldn’t even lie down and relax on the couch without making a
squeaking noise like he was lying on a pool raft. “I’ll be glad to
play with you any time.” She almost told him she had been lonely,
too, and then remembered she was talking to a kid. It probably
wasn’t prudent to pour out her heart to someone who couldn’t even
shave yet.

Lacy tried to connect the system to her
grandmother’s television—thinking that she should handle the
electronics since she was the adult. Then she quickly realized she
had no idea what she was doing. Sean tried to tell her what went
where, and in the end she simply moved aside so he could do it.

“I should tell you that I liked video games
ten years ago. I have no idea what to do with this system,” Lacy
said, staring at the foreign-looking remote in her hand.

“You’re going to love it, Lacy,” Sean assured
her. After a rudimentary lesson, he started with a simple racing
game. True to his prediction, Lacy loved it. After the racing game,
they progressed to a more interactive game that required more
buttons, and after that they played a gory war game that, under
normal circumstances, Lacy would have eschewed for its violence.
But tonight she simply wanted to shoot things, amazed by how well
the game worked to relieve her anxiety. By the time Gladys entered
the room in search of her grandson, Lacy was feeling downright
mellow.

She hugged Sean goodbye, promising him a
rematch. In many ways, he reminded her of the male version of
herself when she was a preteen. Gawky and insecure, he hadn’t quite
grown out of his baby fat or into his looks. As if all that wasn’t
bad enough, he had been pawned off on Gladys, a woman who seemingly
had no idea how to relate to him. Lacy was glad they were coming to
the holiday party. She made a mental note to introduce Sean to
Tosh, sure they would hit it off well. And Jason, too, for that
matter. Younger kids had always worshiped Jason, first for being a
football star and then for being a cop. He was the teenage male
epitome of awesome.

Who was she kidding? Jason was the adult
female epitome of awesome, too, practically perfect in every way
except the one that mattered most—his paralyzing fear of commitment
was well known by all. Even if Lacy felt ready for commitment
herself, she would suffer no illusions about Jason. Unlike some
women, she believed a man if he said he didn’t want to settle down.
Why waste time trying to reform someone who didn’t want to be
reformed? There were plenty of other men who were happy to commit
to a relationship. Tosh, for instance. He wasn’t pathetic or needy,
but Lacy knew he was ready to settle down. She felt a constant and
gnawing sense of guilt that she couldn’t be what he needed, at
least not right now.

Gladys and Sean took their leave, and Lacy’s
mother, father, and grandmother entered the family room. Mr.
Middleton was nowhere in sight, and Lucinda was looking strained.
Lacy’s mellow mood faded away, to be replaced by anxiety again.
“Where’s Gr—Mr. Middleton?” she amended herself in the nick of
time, guessing correctly it wouldn’t go well with her mother if
Lacy called him “Grandpa.”

“Getting some air,” Lacy’s father said
tightly.

Lacy zeroed in on her mother. “What did you
say to him, Mom?”

“I simply reminded him once again that he’s
not my father,” Frannie said, striking a petulant pose with her
arms crossed over her chest.

Lacy looked helplessly at her grandmother who
returned her expression with a slight shrug. With a growl of
frustration, Lacy stormed from the room and slammed out of the
house. She was so angry that it took her a moment to find her
grandfather, though he was sitting sedately on the porch swing,
slowly drifting back and forth. Lacy looked at him, trying to read
his expression, but it was too dark outside.

“Times like these I’m almost sad I gave up
smoking my pipe so many years ago,” he said serenely.

“I’m sorry things aren’t going well,” Lacy
said, shuffling over to sit next to him. He moved aside, making
room and then used his feet to slowly swing them again.

“I don’t know that I expected them to be any
different,” he said.

Lacy frowned, feeling tears tickle the back
of her throat. Why should he have expected things to go well when
most of his life had been spent watching his family through a
stranger’s lens? “Mom is, well, you know…She has her good
points.”

He chuckled. “You don’t have to try and sell
me on her, Lacy. She’s my daughter, warts and all. Sometimes in
life you make choices, good or bad, and you can spend a long time
paying for those choices. I hope you make wise ones.”

“I’m trying,” Lacy said. “Sometimes it’s hard
to know what to do.”

“Twenty-six is an odd age,” he agreed.
“Everyone says you’re an adult, but most days you don’t feel like
it.”

“Exactly,” she said, relieved that someone
had hit the nail on the head so succinctly. “Living with Grandma is
nice, but it doesn’t exactly make me feel like a grownup.”

“You’re living with her because you choose
to, not because you need to. There’s a big distinction.”

“
Now
I’m living with her because I
choose to, but when I first came home it was definitely out of
necessity. It was either here or Florida with Mom and Dad, and you
see what that would have been like.” She shuddered.

“You did what you had to do at the time,” he
said.

Lacy laughed, realizing he would defend her
even to herself. “There’s really no way for me to say what a loser
I am is there, Grandpa?”

“No way I’ll believe,” he said tenderly.

She linked her arm through his. “Did you buy
me a locket for Christmas?”

“No. In fact, I didn’t buy you anything. I
made you something instead. I’ve been waiting for the best time to
give it to you, out of view of your mother. Now seems like as good
a time as any, I guess.” He reached to the ground beside him,
lifted something heavy, and set it in her lap.

“It’s a scrapbook with all my family history,
as well as a few pictures of Barbara. Some are even of us together
when she was carrying Frannie.” He paused, nervously clearing his
throat. “I, ah, hope you like it.”

She catapulted herself into his arms,
belatedly grabbing the book when it started to slide off her lap.
“I love it. You can’t imagine how much it means to me to have this,
to know some of our family history. This is something that I’ll
always treasure and be able to tell my kids about. Thank you.” She
kissed his weathered cheek, wetting it with her tears; she was
simply so touched that she couldn’t keep them in. Imagining him
laboring over the scrapbook was enough to make her rush into the
house and demand her mother make amends with him.

He gave her a tight, one-armed hug in return,
awkwardly patting her back. “Would you rather have had a locket?”
he asked.

She laughed, easing away from him to hug the
book to her chest. “No, I already have one. Someone sent it to me
anonymously. It wasn’t Tosh, and it wasn’t you.”

“I suppose that just leaves Jason,” he said
sagely, swinging them with his feet again. “Not sure how I feel
about a young man giving my granddaughter jewelry.”

“Do you approve of Jason?” she asked.

“Well that’s an impossible question to answer
correctly,” he said. “If you’re asking if I think anyone is good
enough for you, then the answer is no. No one is good enough for
you. But, realizing that you’re eventually going to have to settle
for someone, do I believe Jason can foot the bill as well as
anyone? The answer is maybe.”