Chosen by Fate (22 page)

“As it should be,” Zeph interrupted yet again. He seemed to ponder the two options, then shrugged. “I’ll think about it.”

Isaac frowned. “Of course. But you’ll need to let me know soon whether you’ll accept the assignment or not. Because if you don’t . . .”

With a sigh, Zeph shook his head. “No. You misunderstand me, Isaac. Tell the Quorum I’ll do what they want. But I’ll think about who I want blamed for the murder. Because the individual blamed won’t last a night once Knox has a name. My brother will kill him in as painful a way as possible.” Zeph smirked. “Believe me, there are quite a few people I’d love to blame Felicia’s murder on. It’s only a matter of winnowing the names.”

C
aleb stared down at Wraith, awed by the way her unconscious state softened her features. Relaxed and tucked into her hotel bed, she looked vulnerable. Almost fragile. Her skin seemed less blue, and something about her hair looked different, although he couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was. No surprise, since images of her naked body kept flashing in his head, alternately making him hard or angry depending on whether he let himself remember the scars that had covered her.

He’d suspected it, but Wraith was as scarred on the outside as she was on the inside. If he made a wrong move now, he might as well take his knife and slash her skin into ribbons himself.

“Wraith,” he whispered. When she didn’t respond, he exhaled and swept a hand through his hair. Just walk away, he told himself. She’s not ready for this and neither are you.

But even as he had the thought, he knew he wasn’t walking away. This had been coming for a long time now, but especially since they’d returned from North Korea. Their mission had affected all of them, of course, but Wraith had come back different. Still prickly, but less mouthy. Less willing to react or to interact. Less . . . well, less Wraith. It was as if a part of her died on that mission. As if the regeneration of her body looked complete but really wasn’t.

He’d let her have her space. Worried alongside Lucy whenever she locked herself inside her room. Let her walk away from him at Knox and Felicia’s wedding, and then again when they first arrived at the hotel and after Lucy had dropped her bomb about touch therapy.

He knew how much the thought of him touching Lucy bothered Wraith. As much as the thought of Dex touching her had bothered him. But despite their mutual sense of possessiveness, it could never go anywhere. Never be anything that mattered.

Their bodies didn’t care about that. Their bodies demanded relief, and every day they denied themselves, they were distracted. Prone to do things they normally wouldn’t. That’s why Wraith had gone to Ramsey Monroe. As a substitute for something she wasn’t getting from Caleb or from anyone else, for that matter. When he’d seen her strapped to that table, surrounded by a collection of whips, masks, and toys, he’d finally gotten it through his head that Wraith needed to be touched, whether that touch came with a little pain or a whole hell of a lot. And although Caleb didn’t want to hurt her, he needed to give her what
she
needed.

The second he’d brought Wraith back to the hotel, he’d known it was time. He’d convinced himself he could do it. That he could fuck her and that she could handle the pain he would cause her, just like she’d handled the whipping Ramsey had given her. But now, looking down at her, he knew he was going to hold back.

He didn’t want her mind mixing him up with Ramsey or any other damn male she’d been with before. So although he was going to give her a little of what she needed, he wasn’t going to cause her more pain than absolutely necessary. He’d rather cut off one of his body parts first.

The thought made him smile. When he told her what he was thinking, Wraith would probably be happy to do the cutting for him. He also knew which body part was going to be at the top of her list. In fact, she’d be so pissed that he’d drugged her that she probably would try it the instant she woke up. And sick bastard that he was, even that thought made him hard.

 

Wraith came to consciousness in full-blown panic. She knew instantly she’d been drugged, and to her, that meant she was helpless. Controlled. Weighed down. Just like when that mage had experimented on her.

The fact that she was in a hotel room and unrestrained should have calmed her down. It didn’t.

The moment she saw Caleb, she went for his throat.

“You bastard! How dare you drug me!”

She kicked and punched at him, but he easily deflected her blows, proving to her he really was a badass. The whole time, he shushed her and asked her to stop.
Asked her
. She knew it was the gentle tone of his voice more than anything else that made her attempts to hurt him so feeble. Hearing his tone, the compassion and understanding there, made her picture how her body must have looked, spread out on that table, every inch riddled with scars.

Jerkily, she tried moving past him, gasping when he crowded her body with his, backed her against the wall, and caged her in by planting a palm on either side of her head. Immediately, she tried shoving him away, but froze when he shushed her.

“Shhhh. Don’t. Relax, Wraith. Just relax.”

Her body was shaking, but it settled well before she expected it to. With her face so close to his, his breath a light puff of air against her skin, Wraith stared into Caleb’s eyes. The ones Lucy had said were green. She knew what Lucy had left out. That they were the most beautiful shade of green on earth. They had to be. But why in hell was she thinking that now? Her brow wrinkled with confusion, and she forced herself to stop from reaching out for him.

Perhaps sensing the fact that she was gathering her defenses, Caleb smiled somewhat wistfully. “Aren’t you tired of fighting this thing between us, Wraith? Aren’t you tired of fighting yourself? Don’t you—for just fucking once—want to forget about what we should do and just do what we want?”

Before she could respond, he bent his head slightly, touching his nose to her ear.

She froze like a small animal caught in the shadow of a bird of prey. Without her brain’s permission, the soft flesh between her thighs clenched. Her head was spinning. His touch and his closeness was an intimacy she could barely endure, his body so hot that, despite the inches that separated them, the heat managed to penetrate her through her clothes.

She closed her eyes to block him out and prepared to knee him in the nuts. Instead, the instant she closed her eyes, chaos exploded within her body. From a great distance, she heard herself whimper. Something thrummed to life in her chest, a slow, steady beat, a flutter of sensation like the gentlest ripple in a lake. Something inside her loosened in preparation for the next ripple. For the next beat to come. And then the next. And then the next.

A broken laugh escaped her and she shook her head.

It was a heartbeat. Slight and barely there, but it
was
there.

She had a heart. And this man was breaking it.

“Let me go. You can’t give me what I need, Caleb. Not with your past. Not with who I am. You know that.”

“And you think Ramsey can?”

She shrugged. “He did. Once. Why not again?”

“Because you’re not the same. You’ve changed. That’s why you left him in the first place, isn’t it?”

She turned her head away, too aware of how persuasive he could be. “You don’t know me.”

“I know this—pain isn’t what you need, Wraith. It’s only what you think you need. What you’ve convinced yourself is the only thing you can have.”

She smiled sadly. “It’s who I am. I have to accept that. I live with pain every day of my life. It’s the price I have to pay for pleasure.”

“That’s what you tell yourself to keep us apart. To keep yourself protected from me. Which is ridiculous, Wraith, because I’ll die to keep anyone from hurting you. Don’t you know that? The only way you were going to stay in that club with Ramsey was if he killed me first.”

His quiet words, said so confidently, rang with truth, and Wraith bit her lip, wanting to believe him but also knowing it couldn’t possibly be true.

“I—”

Before she could guess his intent, he swept her up so he cradled her in his arms. The world spun as he lowered her to the floor. He wasn’t particularly gentle about it, either. She lunged and tried to slither away, but before she could, he covered her with the entire weight of his body. In seconds, he had her immobilized, with her wrists pinned to the ground on either side of her face. His fingers were on her bare wrists, lightly but still causing her pain. Far less pain than usual, however, and that made her frown and struggle against him again.

She didn’t budge him.

And he didn’t let her go.

“Now,” he said. “Tell me you believe me. That you know I would protect you.”

She bucked beneath him, trying to throw him off but barely moving him. “This is ridiculous, Caleb. You’re showing me how much you want to protect me by using force? I don’t know what you want but . . .”

He continued to stare at her as she swallowed her words.

He nodded, but his expression hardened. “That’s right. You know exactly what I want, Wraith. And exactly how deep I want to be.”

The innuendo in his voice made her freeze. The iron hard poker pressed against her thigh made her skin heat. Feeling her resolve slipping away completely, she made one last frantic grab for it. She renewed her struggles, pulling her head up and going for his throat with her teeth.

Placing both her wrists in one of his hands, he grabbed her jaw with the other, his fingers touching her bare flesh and forcing her jaw to remain open. The way he handled her, rough and without his normal concern, shocked her and made her moan with desire. “You know, I like the idea of you using your mouth,” he said. “But how about we use it a little differently?”

Eyes sparking with intent, Caleb lowered his face to hers.

Wraith’s eyes widened, and despite the pressure on her jaw, she managed to choke out, “Caleb, no. Don’t.” She made sure she sounded like he was hurting her, and he was—not her flesh, but her now-beating heart.

He paused, eyes narrowed, and released her jaw. “That’s good. The little hitch there at the end was particularly inspired. Well, I promised you’d never have to fear me, Wraith, and I wasn’t lying.”

Releasing her completely, he stood and backed several feet away from her.

Slowly, she stood, as well. Swiftly, she moved toward the door, then stopped with her hand just over the door handle. Go! her mind screamed. But her body was shaking again, wanting to ignore what her brain was telling her and to go to him instead. To let him finish the kiss he’d been about to deliver.

“Caleb,” she sighed. She turned toward him. “Caleb, I—”

He was right behind her and instantly took her in his arms. Lowering his head once more, he took her kiss. He was neither quick nor gentle. He ate at her mouth with a heated sucking motion, using his tongue to thoroughly penetrate her. He was a warrior determined to obtain her surrender, but one that fought with pleasure rather than pain. Despite her prior resolve to remain unmoved, unresponsive, she moaned when his tongue rubbed sinuously against hers, beckoning it to play. At the involuntary sound, his cock grew harder and pushed against the cradle of her legs.

Wrenching her mouth from his, she turned her face to the side and closed her eyes. “The others . . . We have to check in,” she said, her voice harsh and raspy. It was a feeble excuse and she knew it.

“I’ve checked in with Dex. They don’t need us back until tomorrow afternoon, when we’ll get our final orders from Mahone. And you’re not going anywhere, Wraith. Not until I show you that pleasure is inside you just as much as pain.”

Wraith gaped at him. Masculine aggression emanated from him in waves, threatening to topple her over like a rag doll. He’d changed. Why? Because he’d seen her at Ramsey’s? Had the idea of hurting her excited him? Given that he was touching her far more easily, and that he couldn’t do so without hurting her, even though the pain was barely even there now, the idea wasn’t wholly unpleasant. “So you’re willing to hurt me? Because a lot of what you’ve done in this room has hurt me, Caleb.” Deliberately, she raised her fingers to her jaw and saw him wince. “Caused me pain. You ready to give me more?”

Uncertainty flashed across his face, but only for a second. “I didn’t say that.”

She shook her head in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

“It just needs to be done, Wraith. We need to get it out of our systems. If not the normal way, then the abnormal way.”

What the hell did that mean? For her, this was all abnormal. “Again, I’m not getting it, Caleb.”

“You will. Let me show you. You’re going to like what we do every bit as much as I will. I promise, I won’t hurt you. There won’t be any pain at all.”

She saw the sincerity of his words in his expression and knew he’d worn her down. He couldn’t possibly deliver on what he was promising, but she wanted it so badly, it hurt almost more than anything she’d ever experienced. She didn’t just want what he was offering. She
craved
it. Blowing out a breath of defeat, she said, “Okay, fine. You win. No pain, huh? Go for it, Caleb. Show me how you can give me what no other man before you has.”

Not cowered by her words, he stepped up to her. She expected him to kiss her. Instead, he reached down and slowly unfastened her pants and pushed them down until they stopped on her thighs. Just like that, the most vulnerable part of her body was exposed, but his gaze remained locked on hers. “Sit on the bed.”

She did. Half of her was in shock. The other half was almost dizzy with anticipation.

“You’re being so compliant.” He ran his hand lightly up and down her arm, his fingers separated from her flesh by the cloth of her shirt. “Why?”

She struggled for a response and the right sarcastic tone. “Just waiting for you to spit out the punch line and leave.”