Choose Yourself! (22 page)

It genuinely saddens me when YouTube isn’t lumped in as one of the essential social metrics with Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr (I do have a Tumblr, too, but like the others I don’t really know how to use it)—I understand YouTube and it’s changed my whole life. The main thing is that I don’t always talk about music; in fact, I try to keep a 3:1 ratio of music videos to non-music videos. Other YouTube musicians spend all their time just doing covers or videos from tour, but it means what you can enjoy about that channel is reduced to whether or not you like that person’s music. I just released a new music video and loads of the comments say “I never got into your sound/liked your music before but I really love this song” and those are long-term subscribers of mine—they’ve stayed because I can offer them other stuff, but it also means they’ll give each new song a listen and sometimes they like it.

Lesson Number Eight: Pick your social media outlet, master it.
It’s not enough to master your art form. You have to personally master how you will distribute through some social medium, engage with fans, etc.

I admit I’m jealous of Alex. And I’m a big fan.

Lesson Number Nine, which is really hard for me: Talk to your big fans.

Congrats to Alex for continually choosing himself as far back as 2006, when he was seventeen, and not being shy about explaining the specifics, even the money, of how he did it. Alex is exceptional and, for now, the exception to the rule. But not for long. He can’t be. Because eventually everyone will have to follow a similar path in the new economy we live in. Alex proves you’re never too young to take the first step on that path.

THE CURIOUS CASE OF THE SEXY IMAGE

In a blog post I wrote once, I used the above image of a woman on a beach when I posted the link on Facebook. Someone accused me of always using images of half-naked women to promote a post.

He was correct. But I also pointed out that the picture was of a human being at the height of physical achievement. A state I will never be in, nor will any of the “half-naked” critics. And, by the way, technically she’s only about
90 percent
naked. So there.

What’s funny is that even in the comments to THAT post, someone asked, “Why do you always post pictures of half-naked women?”

First off, when is it so unusual to post pictures of half-naked women? Most men AND women’s magazines do it. It’s clearly an image that human beings like to look at.

Second, didn’t you read the posts you just commented on?

And finally, the woman in the picture actually wrote me herself with a response to my critics.

Her name is Dashama. You can find her at
www.dashama.com
, where she offers courses on yoga. I strongly encourage anyone who thinks they can do the position in that picture—it’s called Kapotasana, or “King Pigeon Pose”—to take her courses and try to better himself.

At first I guess I was relieved that she wasn’t suing me for using her image without her permission. But after I read her message, it was interesting to see that Dashama, just like many of the people discussed in this book, came at the issue not from the external barriers that society imposes, but from the foundation of internal health she had built up that not only cured her physical disorders but helped her create a business and life most of us can only dream about.

Dashama wrote:

Dear James,

A friend of mine forwarded me the link to your article featuring my yoga photo recently. I read the entire article and also about 8 others you have posted on various topics. I find your writing style both easy to read and conversational, with just enough humor and authenticity to keep the reader with you until the end. So in short, you’re a great writer :)

The controversy around nakedness is always an interesting topic and I thought about the response you got to my photo for a while.

For the past 10 years I have been strengthening my ‘It doesn’t affect me when people pass judgment’ muscles, since I know that what I do is from an authentic space of love and devotion to make a positive difference in the world. I came from a childhood of foster homes and poor health, so just to be alive now is a miracle every single day. The fact that I can put my leg behind my head and balance on my hands is even more miraculous than you may imagine, given that 10 years ago I was in a terrible car accident that cost me the curve in my cervical spine. After every doctor I saw told me there was nothing I could do to reverse that, I sought alternative options. Now, after almost a decade of self-sought healing, I am able to do some very miraculous things with my body that most people, as you commented, may only dream about.

Besides the physical miracle of my personal healing experience, the fact that I can be living my dreams and doing what I love as a career is even more inspiring to me. There was a time when I was the one sitting in a cubicle working an office job and hating my life. Judging myself and everyone around me and focusing on the negative. It took a tremendous leap of faith to decide what I loved to do and move toward making a career out of it. Then it took another 5 years of personal development inner work to get to the point that I could get past my limiting belief systems that held me back from my power and authentic self-expression. The rest of it was a steep learning curve of how to operate a business as a single woman in a male-dominated world; navigating these waters has not been an easy task.

Despite all of the challenges, it was the best decision of my life. The ROI has been paid to me with dividends of joy and not money, but I’ll take that to the bank and cash it any day over doing something that kills my spirit just to pay the bills.

And that is what inspires me even more. That I know, in my heart and soul, that EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

We rob ourselves of our joy and happiness when we stop and check in with what everyone else is thinking and saying about us.

This is a tragic recurrence that has to stop.

Years ago I read an interview with Gabrielle Reese where she was asked how she deals with the pressures of being a pro athlete,
SI
model, mother and wife of Surf God Laird Hamilton. She said, “In life, you will always have 30 percent of people who love you, 30 percent who hate you and 30 percent who couldn’t care less.” When I heard that, my entire worldview changed.

Suddenly, when someone didn’t like me or expressed negativity toward something I was doing, I just said, well, that’s from the 30 percent who won’t like me no matter what I do or say. Good! Now I can focus on the abundant wealth of support and love I get from my fans and friends who love me and I can love everyone equally. Case closed. Moving on. Thank you very much.

My simple message: You just may be astounded by the sparkly diamond you are hiding beneath the layers of limitational beliefs. You are beautiful. You are raw perfection already; maybe it’s time to polish you up, you crazy diamond! I hope to meet you in paradise one day.

Love, Blessings and Namaste,

Dashama

Dashama is exactly right. I’ve seen it in action repeatedly: no matter who you are, no matter what you do, no matter who your audience is: 30 percent will love it, 30 percent will hate it, and 30 percent won’t care. Stick with the people who love you and don’t spend a single second on the rest. Life will be better that way.

Which brings me to…

WHAT I LEARNED FROM SUPERMAN

I jumped off the bed, flew into the air, and landed the wrong way on my foot, breaking it. I was six and there was every indication I was from the planet Krypton, whose sun exploded when I was a baby, leaving me an orphan on a planet filled with people who would never fully understand me

I had a cape on (my Superman blanket). The weak gravity of Earth would not hold me down. Nothing could hold me down. My mother claims she heard the crack of bone from the other side of our suburban house.
Crack!
I landed. It could’ve happened. She might’ve heard it.

I had to wear a cast. On the first day of first grade, in a brand-new school, I was “that kid.” The one who limped. The one who had a cast. You know, the one you probably would’ve hung out with because clearly I was destined to be the coolest kid in first grade. At the end of the day I had an itch inside my cast. It was excruciating. And it was raining. The teacher, Mrs. Klecor, wouldn’t let us leave to catch our bus at the end of the day unless we could spell our names. I have a bad name for such a task: Altucher. I was sure I was going to miss my bus. I was the last one left. I started to cry. Because I was getting the cast off after school. But not if I couldn’t spell my name and I missed my bus.

Almost thirty years later, I’m still Superman.

Or rather, I’m clumsy like Clark Kent. I have glasses. Black hair. I’m often shy in public. People often laugh at me. And, like many people, I have a secret identity that I’m hiding. One that I reveal bit by bit to the Lois Lane closest to me. But nevertheless, if I were to reveal everything I’d end up in jail or a hospital or an institution or more people would hate me than normally do or Claudia would leave me or other people would be badly hurt by those who would take advantage of the real truth. It’s my secret identity.

From the age of four to the age of forty-four, I’ve been reading
Superman
. If I weren’t writing this book, I could sit down today and write fifty sample scripts to submit to DC Comics.

Why is the story of Superman so appealing? It’s of course the idea that we are all Superman. We are all shy and awkward and IF ONLY PEOPLE KNEW the real us. The one underneath the suit, the glasses—the one who spreads the plain, white shirt apart to reveal the bright colors, the superpowers, the unbelievable intelligence, kindness, the moral and physical strength.

It doesn’t have to end. We’re taught when we transition from childhood to adulthood to leave behind the stories of our youth. Don’t listen to that advice. The stories of our youth, if we all hold onto the hidden gems inside, can help us navigate the world like a superhero. The ChooseYourself-ers are the new superheroes. The ones who never lost their Kryptonian heritage.

Start off by realizing you still have a secret identity. Acknowledge it. Wake up every day and say to yourself, “I’m a superhero—what can I do today to save the world?” And there will be answers. And you’ll see opportunities. And you’ll figure out next steps. You’ll figure out how to fly where you are needed. How to lift the car, how to use your X-ray vision to see solutions that nobody thought possible.

If you think about it, Superman actually had no useful powers. We all have the same powers, but we’re afraid to admit it. People always say Batman had no powers and Superman did. But it’s actually the reverse. Think about it: When would you ever need super strength? Are you really picking up a car anytime soon? No, of course not. Heat vision? What for? I have a microwave. X-ray vision? I can see the most beautiful woman in the world naked anytime I want. All of my neighbors are hideous even with clothes on. And we all know that women in general are sexier with skimpy clothes on than totally naked. And super hearing? I already know what everyone thinks about me. I think I would be horrified to hear them say what I already know they think.

What else? Oh yeah, flying. Where would you fly? And people would see you. And you’d eat flies and run into birds. Ew. Forget it. I’m not flying. I don’t even have a driver’s license. I’ll walk. Or take a train and watch a movie on my iPad. Oh, and bullets don’t affect Superman. To be honest, nobody has ever shot at me so this doesn’t seem like a useful power to me.

But just knowing I’m Superman, with secret powers, is enough to make me happy. I AM Superman. I’m above the worries of Earthlings. And I believe that with everything inside of me. That’s my secret. The secret has power.

The only superpower you really need is the one to constantly cultivate the attitude that forces you to ask, from the minute you wake up, to the minute you fall asleep, “What life can I save today?” It’s a practice. Often we forget it. We resist it. Instead of saving lives, we worry about saving ourselves too much. “How will I pay the bills?” “What do I do about my boss saying bad things about me?” And so on.

Instead, superpowers are given to you if all day you try to save at least one life. Try it. Wake up tomorrow and say, “I’m going to save at least one life today.” Even helping an old woman across the street counts. Even responding to an e-mail and helping someone make an important decision saves a life. Even reaching out to a distant friend and asking, “How are you doing?” can save their life. You can save a life today. Don’t let the sun set without doing that. You are Superman.

Superman is the ultimate yogi. Not because of any flexibility. He’s probably not very flexible, actually, because his joints and muscles are super tough. But he follows very well the basic precepts of yoga. He doesn’t harm anyone despite his capacity for doing so. He doesn’t lie (other than his secret identity, which he holds onto so others aren’t harmed). He’s never possessive (why be possessive of anything if—like me—he can have anything he wants anytime he wants). He practices “brahmacharya”—a form of self-control—outside of his relationship with the beautiful Lois Lane. Even Napoleon Hill in his classic,
Think and Grow Rich
has an entire chapter on this. Superman also seems to have “santosha” (contentment). He never seems obsessed with grudges from his past. I’ve never seen him worry about his future. I haven’t always been Superman in this respect. But today, NOW is all I care about.