Chilled (A Bone Secrets Novel) (10 page)

Alex felt like an idiot as he found the sheriff’s stash of aspirin and Advil. He’d been carrying his own relief all morning while
he suffered. Shaking his head, he dug out what looked like a kid’s belt with an odd circular triple pattern on the buckle. His hands were trembling slightly again, but he ignored them. He slid the adjustment straps back and forth. What in the hell was it for?

“It’s a headlamp,” Ryan spoke.

Alex blinked and stared at the “buckle,” finally realizing he was looking at three tiny LED bulbs. His fingers found a switch and he turned it on only to blink again as he blinded himself.

“Shit. Sucker’s bright.”

“Those lights will last for hundreds of hours.” Ryan grinned at his surprise.

Alex glanced around in the dimming daylight, noticing Jim and Thomas had slipped on their headlamps but hadn’t turned them on yet. He did the same, tightening the strap that he’d loosened enough to fit over Goliath’s head. He also found dry clothing, two types of Leatherman tools, wire, pliers, needles, thread (which he hoped was for clothing repair, not skin), water purification tablets, duct tape, carabiners, and nylon rope. He stared at the heat sheets crammed into bags the size of his fist, remembering that in certain situations the millimeter-thin silver blankets could make the difference between life and death. He snorted at the sunscreen and was tickled to find a package of baby wipes. He ripped one out and washed his face in relief, then rubbed at the ground-in mud on his pants.

Now he smelled like a baby. But in a good way.

What he didn’t find was a tent.

Did they plan to sleep exposed to the elements? He examined the sleeping bag. It was down filled and appeared it would come up around his head like a mummy. He’d briefly scanned the sleeping bags that morning at the sporting goods store, but
knew there would be a bag waiting for him at the base camp. Alex had been in and out of the store in twenty minutes. He’d told the way-too-young salesclerk where he was going and what he’d be doing and the kid led him on a lightning-fast trek around the store, throwing clothing in a basket. Alex put on the stuff in the changing room, slapped down a credit card, and then paled at the total.

He’d been glad he didn’t need to buy a bag. He’d seen one for $600.

He hefted the sleeping bag from his pack. It couldn’t weigh more than five pounds. He rooted some more and found a pad to go under the sleeping bag. Was this the extent of his nighttime gear?

“Hey, Ryan.”

The other man had his mouth full but managed an inquiring mumble.

“Am I supposed to have a tent?”

Ryan swallowed and twisted up his lips. “I’ve got one. We usually only pack one for every two or three people. We worked it out before we left. Brynn sleeps with Jim and her dog. The rest of us will fit in my tent.”

Alex exhaled. Thank God. At least he’d have a roof over his head.

“Did ya think we’d sleep out in the snow?”

Alex snorted. “I didn’t know what to think. I was hoping not to get a lesson in snow caving.”

“Not enough snow at this level.” The other man’s eyes danced at Alex’s obvious discomfort. “Snow caving’s not that bad. Especially with these sleeping bags. You’re gonna be amazed at how toasty they are. If it weren’t snowing, I’d consider sleep
ing under the stars. Nothing better than being in a warm bag as you study the sky at night.”

“No thanks,” Alex said wryly. “When this trip is over I’m headed somewhere warm for a week. Hawaii, or maybe Mexico. I don’t care where as long as it’s warm. I’ll check out the stars when I get there.”

Alex pulled a compass out of a side pack pocket. It was set into a rectangle of clear plastic with ruler marks and an arrow.

“Ever use one before?” Ryan sounded politely curious. He had to have seen the completely blank look on Alex’s face as he studied the compass. The only navigation Alex had ever done was with a GPS system in a rental car. He doubted the compass would speak graciously to him and recalculate his route when he made a wrong turn.

“No.” He’d seen Ryan check their route several times with a compass and map. Every time the weather briefly cleared or they had a good view of their surroundings, Ryan double-checked their progress. He seemed to be the main navigator. Both Jim and Thomas deferred to the younger man and clearly trusted his guidance. The GPS units were still giving different readings and Alex had been surprised when the other men shrugged off this obstacle. They had confidence in Ryan’s skill with a compass.

Ryan was a smart kid behind all the cockiness and chatter. But he’d been quieter as evening approached, coughing and occasionally rubbing at his gut. Alex hoped Ryan wasn’t coming down with the flu. This wasn’t the environment to get sick. Alex frowned as he felt sweat trickle down his back. They’d been resting for ten minutes, so he shouldn’t be sweating. Was he catching something too?
Shit.

“You feeling OK?” Alex thought Ryan looked too pale.

The younger man shrugged. “Seem to be picking up a cough. Stomach’s not feeling so great. Almost feels like I need to—”

“Hey. What was the deal with Brynn freezing over that river? She doesn’t seem like the kind of person who’d do that.” Alex rapidly changed the subject, not wanting to hear details about Ryan’s digestive tract. He nervously rubbed at the sweat on his temples as he glanced around for Brynn. She was practicing hand commands with Kiana thirty yards away. Too far to overhear his questions.

And he’d been wondering since the incident. After the crossing, the rest of the crew had exchanged words and looks that spoke of a deeper understanding of what happened to her. Alex had felt left out and figured it was none of his business. He’d told himself he shouldn’t be interested, because what went on with these people had nothing to do with him and his goal. These people were simply a means to an end.

But now he felt a little more connected, sucked into their lives. He knew Ryan the best. He had helped Alex out of the mud, talked his ear off, and teasingly harassed him about the fake bone.

He felt comfortable asking Ryan about Brynn because he seemed like one of those guys who was impossible to offend. The guy would talk about anything. Unlike Thomas. Alex had yet to hear him get chatty, but that was all right. Ryan was chatty enough for the whole group. Alex usually didn’t say a word; Ryan carried both sides of a conversation just fine.

Surprisingly, Ryan bit his lip and hesitated at the question about Brynn.

“Hey, if it’s private…”

“Nah, it’s not like that. Everyone knows what happened. I was thinking it’s her story to tell, but I know it rips her gut every time she has to talk about it.”

“Oh.” A twinge of guilt made Alex sit back and reconsider. It was none of his business. But for some reason the thought of that confident woman having a painful past made his chest hurt. Maybe hearing about the state of Ryan’s digestive system would be better.

“I think she was eight or nine years old when it happened.” “It?”

Ryan rubbed at his reddened nose.

“Her best friend died after slipping off a makeshift log bridge. A lot like what we crossed today. Nothing to hang on to for balance though. And it was summertime.”

“Shit. Brynn was there?”

“Yeah. Right behind her friend on the bridge. Brynn fell too, but managed to hang on somehow.” He sniffed, casting a quick glance at Brynn, who was in deep conversation with Jim. “A search team found her clinging to the log, nearly unconscious. They figured she’d been in the water for hours. Luckily the water wasn’t cold that time of year. Her friend was found several miles down the river.”

Alex was silent.

“Brynn swears that’s when she knew she wanted to do search and rescue. She wanted to save people like she’d been saved. I guess that’s why she became a nurse too.” Ryan studied the compass in his hands, his mouth tight.

How does she stomach working with more death?

Alex’s heart was pounding, and he wiped at his forehead. Why’d he feel like he’d been running for ten minutes instead of resting? He took a series of deep breaths. Ryan noticed.

“Hey. You OK?” Ryan frowned. “You look kinda rattled.”

Alex
felt
rattled. His heart rate wouldn’t slow, and his shakes were getting more frequent. “Bad story.”

“Yeah. It is.” Ryan looked unconvinced. “You feeling all right? Want me to grab Brynn?”

“No!” Alex snapped and felt instant guilt. “I’m fine, just need to relax.”

Suddenly he knew what it was. Withdrawal. He’d been without his anxiety medication for twenty-four hours, and his body was protesting. He took the stuff only at night to help him sleep, but apparently, his body was really missing the habit. He’d had no idea those tiny pills could affect him this way. Hopefully, he’d be through the worst of it soon. And he was done taking the damn things. If he still had problems sleeping, he’d invest in some boring books. He floundered for a question to distract Ryan.

“So Brynn shares Jim’s tent, huh?” The words tumbled out of Alex’s mouth, and he mentally kicked himself in the head. Not the way to find out more about Brynn. Without thinking, he’d rudely stuck his foot in his mouth. Real smooth.

Ryan’s eyes narrowed a bit. “It’s not like that. Jim’s wife and Brynn are really close. And she’s as good as married.”

“As
good
as married?”
What’d that mean?

“She and Liam have been together for nearly two years.”

“Then why aren’t they married?”

Ryan paused, and Alex watched a flash of confusion cross his face. “Brynn’s not really the marrying kind,” he said slowly.

Alex raised a brow and waited.
It’s none of my business.

But he wanted to know more.

The other man coughed and frowned. “That didn’t come out right. Her parents…well, her dad anyway…”

He was putting Ryan on the spot. Alex cut him off with a sharp hand gesture. “You don’t need to give some big explana
tion. That kind of complex commitment isn’t the right path for some people.”

Relief relaxed Ryan’s face. “That’s kinda what I meant. How about you? Are you married?” His eagerness to change the subject was obvious.

Alex shook his head and wryly twisted his lips. “Divorced. Commitment wasn’t the right path for her either.” “Sorry, man. That sucks.”

Alex nodded, deliberately dropping his gaze, and Ryan turned back to his own pack.

Their conversation over, Alex took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and concentrated on slowing his pounding heart. How long was he going to have withdrawal symptoms? They weren’t going to get worse, were they?

“I’ve got to get out there.” Liam’s honest face contorted as he ran a hand through his tightly cropped hair and paced in circles.

“You’re not flying in this weather.” Patrick placed a restraining hand on the pilot’s shoulder.

“You don’t even know where they are. They haven’t been able to check in. He might have done something…”

Patrick grabbed both Liam’s shoulders and turned him to stare eye to eye. “Done what? If Whittenhall is right and Kinton wants to get his hands on Besand, his best bet is going to be sticking with an experienced crew. He doesn’t know squat about getting around out there. He needs those guys to survive.”

“What about Brynn? Maybe he sees her as expendable?”

Patrick mentally rolled his eyes.

“Kinton’s not stupid.” Patrick thought back to their first meeting. He hadn’t met an unbalanced man. He’d met a determined one. A man with his wits about him. He was having a hard time reconciling the unstable image Whittenhall painted of Kinton with the resolute soldier he’d met that morning. Something in Patrick’s gut didn’t like Whittenhall. The marshal was shifty, pompous, and condescending. Maybe that was optimistically skewing Patrick’s view of Kinton.

But his gut was usually right. Usually.

“They need air support. They’re not going to stumble across a wreck in that forest. It’s the old needle in a haystack comparison,” Liam said.

“There might be a good window of weather tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Liam kicked at a rock, sending a splatter of mud over Patrick’s boots. Patrick bit his lip and ignored it because Liam was a good pilot who’d frequently helped Madison County with SAR, and he belonged to Brynn. But that didn’t mean Patrick had to hold Liam’s hand because he was rattled about his girlfriend’s safety.

“You need to stop stressing over Brynn and give her a little more credit. She’s tough and smart.”

Liam scowled, looking away.

“When she broke her collarbone in that rockslide last year she toughed it out. Finished the search even though she couldn’t move her arm. She’s pretty good at taking care of herself.”

Patrick decided not to mention the obnoxious fit of temper Liam had thrown when he’d found her in the hospital with her arm in a sling. Judging by Liam’s tight lips, he remembered clearly.

“No one’s going to let your unit fly today. You know that. Don’t try to make me out to be the bad guy. Your own CO won’t let you up today. Besides, it’s almost dark.”

Liam was silent, his head pointed in the direction of the trailhead as if he expected to see the team come traipsing back out. He muttered under his breath.