Child of the Phoenix (115 page)

Eleyne grabbed Rhonwen’s arm and pulled her aside. ‘You promised a shadow, a phantom, a creation of your own mind!’ she hissed, with a glance at the staring men and women around them. At her side Macduff listened in round-eyed terror, shocked at the outburst. ‘He does not exist! He never existed! Donald is real. A real man! And Malcolm is a real man. My husband, who might be dying at this moment …’

‘And if he is dying, you will be free at last! Free for the king! Free to be with him,’ Rhonwen gloated.

Eleyne stared at her in horror, then stepped back sharply, wrenching her cloak from Rhonwen’s grasp. ‘Do you realise what you are saying? Do you? For me to join the king I’d have to be dead!’

Rhonwen paled, and lifted her eyes to Eleyne’s without a word. The two women looked at each other long and hard then Eleyne swung round and ran after the men who were carrying her husband upstairs.

Malcolm was unconscious when Eleyne reached him. The friar at his bedside, a travelling physician who had stopped providentially at Falkland on his way to St Andrews, had his hand on Malcolm’s forehead. ‘It’s a seizure, my lady. There was too much choler in his body.’

Eleyne looked down at her husband. ‘Will he live?’

The friar shrugged. ‘If he lives the day and the night he may recover, but the moon wanes and the tides are low. That does not augur well.’

She bit her lip. ‘Poor Malcolm.’ She put her hand on his with a sigh and looked at Macduff. ‘Go and find your brother, he should be here. And Macduff –’ she smiled at her son sadly, ‘tell them to put away the horses. I won’t be riding today after all.’

As night fell, candles were lighted in the chamber. Colban and Anna stood beside the bed, with Macduff at its foot. There was antagonism in Anna’s gaze as she looked at Eleyne.

Eleyne was seated near her husband’s head when he opened his eyes and forced himself to smile.

‘So. Will you marry him when I am gone?’

Eleyne shook her head. ‘You will get better.’

‘No.’ He closed his eyes and held out his hand towards her. After a moment’s hesitation she took it. ‘There is something I should tell you,’ he said haltingly. ‘Something on my conscience.’

‘The priest is here.’ In the corner of the room the castle’s chaplain waited with the viaticum.

‘No, no, I’ll confess to him later.’ He had difficulty speaking. ‘No, there is something I have to confess to you if I am to die easy in my soul.’

‘What is it?’ It was strange that she felt so little. She had shared this man’s bed for nearly fourteen years and learned to accept him; sometimes she even almost liked him, but most of the time he had meant nothing to her at all. She had never loved him; she respected him, and obeyed him. That was all.

‘Robert de Quincy – your husband.’ Malcolm tried to catch his breath and there was a long silence. When she didn’t speak, he struggled on. ‘I really thought he was dead when I came for you, then I heard he was still alive. I … I had him killed.’

‘I see.’ Her voice was flat.

‘It was your nurse who did it,’ he went on. ‘She’s a killer by instinct.’ He gave a faint chuckle. ‘A dangerous woman.’

She did not appear to have heard him; her eyes were on Colban’s white face.

‘Eleyne –’ Malcolm went on faintly, ‘you do forgive me? I did it for you.’

His fingers slipped from her clasp and she made no effort to take them again. She stood up and looked down at his face for a long moment, then she turned away.

‘Eleyne.’ He struggled to raise his head. ‘Eleyne, please, come back.’ His voice broke into sobs.

She stood before the door until one of the weeping servants opened it for her, then she walked down the spiral stairs. She did not look back.

Colban found her in the stables two hours later. The boy’s eyes

were red with weeping.

‘Is it over?’

He nodded.

‘And was he shriven by the priest?’ Her voice was heavy with bitterness.

Again Colban nodded. ‘Mama. Is it true? Am I a bastard?’

Eleyne frowned. Slowly she rose to her feet and put her arms around her son’s narrow shoulders. ‘No, you are not a bastard. I married your father in good faith … twice. And your legitimacy was confirmed by the church, the king and the chancellor of Scotland. You are the Earl of Fife now, Colban, and no one can deny it, though I suppose you will have to wait until you come of age for the king to confirm you in the title.’ She gave a weary smile. ‘God rest your father’s soul. I hope he finds at God’s feet the forgiveness he seeks.’

‘Why did he marry you?’ Colban shuffled his feet uncomfortably.

‘Because he loved me.’

‘And did you ever love him?’ Colban’s eyes were full of pain. For a moment she was tempted to lie, but she shook her head.

‘No. I never loved him.’

‘And did you ever love us?’

‘Oh, Colban!’ She gave a miserable little laugh. ‘Of course I loved you! You made life worth living. You were everything to me. Everything.’ She paused. ‘When I lost little Joanna and Hawisa, I thought I would die of unhappiness. But then you came along, you and your brother. You mean everything to me, Colban, everything.’

‘And Donald of Mar?’ His voice had fallen to a whisper.

She sighed. So. Macduff had told him. ‘We can’t choose who we fall in love with, Colban, it just happens. One minute you’re your own person, free and in charge of your own destiny, the next you are enslaved. But it never affected my love for you and Macduff and it never will.’ She caught his hands. ‘You must believe that. You are married. You know the love of a man and woman for each other is different from the love one feels for one’s babies.’ She smiled.

‘I don’t think I love Anna in the way you describe.’ His voice was sad.

‘You will. You will grow to love her.’ Her voice did not betray her sudden misgivings. ‘Poor Malcolm. There’s such a lot to be done now. Come, let’s go in.’

‘Mama.’ Colban had not moved.

‘What is it?’

‘Will you go to him?’

She did not pretend not to know what he meant. ‘I don’t know what will happen,’ she said quietly, ‘I don’t know at all.’

XVII

She let the lid of the coffer drop. It wasn’t there; the phoenix had gone. She turned back towards her bedchamber, then stopped. Rhonwen was standing in the doorway. ‘Are you looking for something,
cariad
?’

‘My embroidered girdle. It isn’t in my clothes chest.’

‘It’s on the bracket where Meg left it. Your eyes must be going, if you couldn’t see it.’ Rhonwen stepped forward into the light. ‘You’re not going to wear that, surely, for my lord’s funeral?’

The phoenix was already there, beneath the feather bed. Tonight, and every night from now on, Eleyne would have the king to console her.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

I
FALKLAND CASTLE

D
onald arrived at Falkland two weeks after the funeral. Eleyne received him alone in the small solar in the Great Tower. He kissed her hand and looked up at her tired face. ‘You know why I’m here.’

Her heart was beating very fast. She found she couldn’t speak. She wanted him to touch her so badly, she thought she would throw herself at him. But he had been the one to make it clear that they had no future together, whatever Adam said. Besides, Alexander was there. He was everywhere in the castle, at her side, in her bed; he had been there when Donald had not, stronger all the time. And he was near her. Now.

Donald held out his arms and pulled her to him. His mouth on hers was demanding, as hungry as hers, but after a moment he pushed her away. ‘I’ve come here to ask you to be my wife.’

‘Donald.’ It was a whisper.

She could feel the anguish in the shadows around her.

‘You will, won’t you?’

‘I thought you would want to marry someone else; I thought you would want to marry someone younger –’ Brutally she forced herself to say the word which had tormented her for so long.

‘You don’t want to –?’ Anger and disappointment vied for predominance in his face.

‘No, no! I want to, you know I want to, but –’ She waved her hand to encompass the walls of the room and through them the rest of the world. ‘It would never be allowed.’

‘Why not?’ He took her hand again and lifted it to his lips. ‘I have already spoken to the king; our king; his son.’ His voice was harsh.

‘You have?’ She looked at him in astonishment.

‘I went straight to court when I heard of Malcolm’s death. Only that would have kept me from you so long.’ He smiled. ‘The king likes me and he has always loved you. And the queen mother wasn’t there to interfere.’ His voice was suddenly bitter. ‘He said he would do anything to make us happy.’

‘And your father?’

‘We won’t tell my father until it’s done. I’m of age. So are you. We are both free. Oh yes, we are. Your ghost won’t follow us to Mar and we have the king’s approval. What more do we need?’ He pulled her once more into his arms.

Rhonwen was waiting for her in her bedchamber, holding something in her hand. Eleyne’s eyes went to the open jewel casket on the table. ‘I thought I told you not to come to my room!’ she said sharply. ‘I didn’t summon you.’

Rhonwen smiled. ‘No, someone else summoned me.’ She lifted her hand slightly and Eleyne saw the gleam of gold as the jewelled pendant swung between her fingers. ‘Someone else, who doesn’t want you to receive Donald of Mar.’

Eleyne spun around. ‘Hylde, Meg, leave us alone,’ she ordered. They did not wait. They scuttled away, closing the door behind them.

Eleyne turned back to Rhonwen. ‘Put that pendant down.’

‘Why?’ Rhonwen smiled again.

‘Because I say so. Put it back in the casket.’

‘It brings him to you, doesn’t it?’ Rhonwen held the jewel up to the light. Her eyes narrowed. ‘Why don’t we try it now? Why don’t we call him and ask him what he thinks about Donald of Mar coming here to Falkland? Why don’t we call him – ’

‘
No!
’ Eleyne cried. ‘I forbid it.’

‘You forbid me to call him? But you said he was nothing but a dream. If he was only a dream, how can I call him?’ Rhonwen moved swiftly behind the table, still holding the phoenix aloft. ‘Come!’ she cried out loud. ‘Come, your grace, come to her now. If you don’t, it will be too late. Donald of Mar will take her …’

‘It’s already too late,’ Eleyne said softly. ‘I have promised to marry Donald.’

Rhonwen stopped in mid-sentence and her mouth fell open. ‘You have done what?’

‘I have promised to marry Donald of Mar.’ Eleyne leaned across the table and snatched the pendant from Rhonwen’s slack fingers. For a moment she stood looking at it, then she threw it down into the casket and slammed the lid on top of it. ‘Alexander is dead, Rhonwen! I am alive! We can be nothing to each other any more. I shall always treasure his memory. I shall always love him in my heart, but he is dead and gone. Donald is alive. I love
him
, I want to marry
him
. For the first time in my life I have the chance to live with someone I love and trust. Would you deny me that?’ She took Rhonwen’s cold fingers between her own. ‘Please, give me your blessing.’ Desperately she willed Rhonwen to understand.

There was a long silence. Slowly Rhonwen extricated her hands from Eleyne’s. ‘I can’t,’ she whispered.

‘Why?’

‘You belong to King Alexander. Einion Gweledydd foretold it – ’

‘Einion’s prophecies were false.’

‘No!’

‘They were. Listen, you have seen Adam and you remember Michael, his master. They foretold the future for me too. They both said my future lay in Mar. If I am to found a royal dynasty, it is through Colban and Anna. She is King Alexander’s granddaughter – ’

‘Her mother was a bastard –’ Rhonwen spat the words out furiously.

‘Sir Alan Durward has great ambitions for his daughter, nevertheless. Please, Rhonwen, forget Einion Gweledydd. Think of me.’

‘I am thinking of you,
cariad
.’ Rhonwen folded her arms grimly into the sleeves of her mantle and drew herself up to her full height. ‘You should have been a queen.’