Chicken Soup for the Kid’s Soul (30 page)

Mother Says . . .

Throughout the centuries, mothers have given their children plenty of good advice and notable quotes. Here’s just a small sampling:

PAUL REVERE’S MOTHER: “I don’t care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!”

MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY’S MOTHER: “I don’t mind your having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?”

MONA LISA’S MOTHER: “After all the money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that’s the biggest smile you can give us?”

HUMPTY DUMPTY’S MOTHER: “Humpty, if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!”

COLUMBUS’S MOTHER: “I don’t care what you discovered, Christopher. You still could have written!”

BABE RUTH’S MOTHER: “Babe, how many times have I told you—quit playing ball in the house! That’s the third broken window this week!”

MICHELANGELO’S MOTHER: “Mike, can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?”

NAPOLEON’S MOTHER: “All right, Napoleon. If you aren’t hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!”

CUSTER’S MOTHER: “Now, George, remember what I told you—don’t go biting off more than you can chew!”

ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S MOTHER: “Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can’t you just wear a baseball cap like all the other kids?”

BARNEY’S MOTHER: “I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you’re starting to look a little purple.”

MARY’S MOTHER: “I’m not upset that your lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you.”

BATMAN’S MOTHER: “It’s a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance is going to be?”

GOLDILOCKS’S MOTHER: “I’ve got a bill here for a busted chair from the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?”

LITTLE MISS MUFFET’S MOTHER: “Well, all I’ve got to say is if you don’t get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there’ll be a lot more spiders around here!”

ALBERT EINSTEIN’S MOTHER: “But Albert, it’s your senior picture. Can’t you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something . . . ?”

GEORGE WASHINGTON’S MOTHER: “George, the next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!”

JONAH’ SMOTHER: “That’s a nice story, Jonah, but now tell me where you’ve
really
been for the last three days.”

SUPERMAN’S MOTHER: “Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we’ve decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?”

And finally . . . THOMAS EDISON’S MOTHER: “Of course, I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!”

Martha Bolton

What I’ve Learned So Far

When you’re confused, sit down and think it through.
Ignore people who put you down.
Never, ever, ever give up on yourself.

Andrea Gwyn, age 12

If nothing is in the refrigerator, don’t eat dog food.
Never cheat because it’s not worth it.

Samantha Jean Fritz, age 9

When your dad or mom slams the door when they come home from work, it is best to stay out of their way.

If you don’t care what grades you get and do badly in school, the main words in your vocabulary will be, “Do you want fries with that?”

Michelle Nicole Rodgers, age 10

Never ask your dad to help you with a math problem. It will turn out to be a three-hour lesson.

If you have a problem or secret, share it with your mom.

Katie Adnoff, age 13

Check if there is toilet paper
before
you sit down.

Don’t make a bad impression on your neighbors when you first move in.

Laugh at your parents’ jokes.

Natalie Citro, age 12

When my parents are talking, not to interrupt but wait until later. Unless someone is bleeding or something.

Alle Vitrano, age 8

Read the book before you have to go in front of the class to give a report.

Never leave your little sister alone with your stuff.

Amanda Smith, age 12

If you wear a child’s extra large in clothes, an adult small is too big.

If someone dies, think about the good, not the bad. The bad will make you feel worse.

Don’t judge people by their looks. Someone could be the ugliest person in the world and still be nice.

Ashlee Gray, age 9

When your mom is mad, hide the stuff that you don’t want thrown away.

Katie Fata, age 10

When you tell a lie, you have to keep telling a lie.

When your parents get divorced, you have to move on.

Ronnie Evans, age 10

When you take off your sweatshirt, your shirt comes up.

Ben Hall, age 10

You only have one life. So be careful.

When your friends do something stupid, you don’t have to follow.

If you think something will taste bad, it will. If you think something will taste good, it might.

Maria McLane, age 9

If you write somebody’s name wrong, it makes them feel bad.

Benjamin Mitchell, age 10

A promise is a promise.
Ask before you touch something that isn’t yours.
If you make someone cry, say that you’re sorry.
You’re never too big to ask for help.
Being nice can get you somewhere.
People who do mean things to you are not your friends.
Cats are not water-resistant.
Don’t ride your bike on ice.
Never tell stuff to other friends that another friend said.
Never, ever say “I hate you.”
Take turns using stuff.
Don’t use the front brake on your bike first.
If you slow down and take your time, your work is better.
Don’t smart off to the teacher.
You will get there just as fast if you don’t push and shove, and no one will be mad at you.
Don’t tease a girl if she is wearing boots.
Wear comfortable shoes on field days.
Don’t bother Chad.

Mrs. Pat Wheeler’s fourth-grade class

Don’t get hit in the stomach right after you eat.
Don’t ever unplug the computer.
You do have a dream. . . .
Never run with your shoelaces untied.
Never throw overhand when playing egg toss.

Miss Tracey Alvey’s fourth-grade class

Never sleep with gum in your mouth.

Ashley Parole, age 12

Don’t go in somebody’s backyard that you don’t know, especially if it says “Beware of Dog.”

Nedim Pajevic, age 13

You don’t have to win a race to feel good about yourself; all you have to do is finish. Never, ever give up.

Becky Rymer, age 12

Don’t cough or sneeze in other people’s faces, especially if you don’t know them.

Karen Perdue, age 12

Pain is not good.
Girls are more important than you think.

Philip Maupin, age 13

Don’t bug your mom when she’s going to have a baby.

Elvis Hernandez, age 12

Life is like a “choose your own ending” book—you can take whatever adventures you want.

Erika Towles, age 12

Keep your room dirty so your mom will be afraid to come in, and then she won’t take your stuff.

Geoff Rill, age 12

When your mom’s on a diet, don’t eat chocolate in front of her.

Corey Schiller, age 12

Don’t mess with a kid bigger than you are.

David Neira, age 12

When my teacher gets mad, she
really
gets mad.
The funnier you are, the better life is.

Lauren Aitch, age 10

Moving was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.

I can’t hide my lima beans in my sister’s milk cup.

Evan de Armond, age 12

Attitudes are contagious.
Don’t make fun of someone doing their best.

Mikie Montmorency, age 12

Don’t tell a teacher your dog ate your homework, especially if you don’t have a dog.

Raelyn Ritchie, age 12

Afterword

It is our hope that these stories have brought you hope, joy, courage and inspiration, and that they will live on through you. You are now the storyteller. May they continue to touch you and empower you.

Reading Stories: An Act of Co-Creation

A story is a magical, mysterious
Instrument.
Told
————through words, not pictures ————
A written story
allows readers or listeners,
in creative collaboration with the author,
to be co-creators of the story
and thus fully and uniquely
to live
the story’s
rhythms, lessons and meanings.

James Elwood Conner

More Chicken Soup?

Many of the stories and poems you have read in this book were submitted by readers like you who had read earlier
Chicken Soup for the Soul
books. We publish at least five or six
Chicken Soup for the Soul
books every year. We invite you to contribute a story to one of these future volumes.

Stories may be up to 1,200 words and must uplift or inspire. You may submit an original piece or something you clip out of the local newspaper, a magazine, a church bulletin or a company newsletter. It could also be your favorite quotation you’ve put on your refrigerator door or a personal experience that has touched you deeply.

To obtain a copy of our submission guidelines and a listing of upcoming
Chicken Soup
books, please write, fax or check one of our Websites.

Chicken Soup for the Soul
P.O. Box 30880 • Santa Barbara, CA 93130
fax: 805-563-2945
To e-mail us or to visit our Websites:
www.chickensoup.com
www.clubchickensoup.com

Just send a copy of your stories and other pieces to any of the above addresses.

We will be sure that both you and the author are credited for your submission.

For information about speaking engagements, other books, audiotapes, workshops and training programs, contact any of the authors directly.

Supporting Kids

In the spirit of supporting kids everywhere, the celebrities who have contributed to this book have chosen the following non-profit organizations, to receive a portion of the profits from the sale of this book:

Chosen by Shannon Miller

Children’s Miracle Network
(CMN) is an international non-profit organization dedicated to raising funds for and awareness of children’s hospitals. The hospitals associated with CMN care for all children with any affliction and ensure that care will be provided, regardless of the family’s ability to pay.

Children’s Miracle Network
4525 South 2300 East, Ste. 202
Salt Lake City, UT 84117
801-278-9800
www.cmn.org

837 Princess St., Ste. 302
Kingston, Ontario, Canada K7L 1G8
613-542-7240
HYPERLINK
http://www.cmn.org

Chosen by Chuck Norris

KICK DRUGS OUT OF AMERICA FOUNDATION
is an organization whose purpose is to help fight the war on drugs and youth violence in America through the disciplines and philosophies of martial arts. Through this school site-based program, kids have a chance to potentially earn a place on Chuck Norris’ martial arts T.E.A.M. (T for truth, E for esteem, A for attitude, M for motivation).

KICK DRUGS OUT OF AMERICA FOUNDATION
427 West 20th St., Ste. 620
Houston, TX 77008
713-868-6003

Chosen by Shaquille O’Neal

Little Miss African American, Incorporated,
is a nonprofit, positive education and scholarship program for African American girls ages six to ten years of age. The program teaches and reinforces life skills such as decision making and problem solving, as well as language skills, through the use of literature and computers. The yearlong program concludes with a pageant in which each girl participates.

Little Miss African American, Incorporated
15030 Ventura Blvd., Ste. 578
Sherman Oaks, CA 91403
213-969-1730

Chosen by Kathy Ireland

The Homeless Education/Liaison Project of Santa Barbara County
(HE/LP) serves homeless children, assisting in areas such as education, health care, school supplies, social services, clothing, after-school programs and other areas of need. HE/LP also assists parents by linking them to community services.

For more information, contact:
The Homeless Education/Liaison Project
of Santa Barbara County
Center for Community Education
1235-B Veronica Springs Rd.
Santa Barbara, CA 93105
805-569-3873

Chosen by Kenan Thompson

Kids Konnected
offers friendship, understanding, education and support for kids who have a loved one with cancer or other life-threatening illnesses, or have already lost a loved one to illness. Kids Konnected is uniquely headed by kids under the direction of adult volunteers who provide a twenty-four-hour hotline, online communication, a teddy bear outreach program for younger kids, age-appropriate group meetings and summer camps and social events.

Kids Konnected
P.O. Box 603
Trabuco Canyon, CA 92678
800-899-2866
www.kidskonnected.org

Chosen by Kel Mitchell

Boys & Girls Clubs of America
has, for the past 138 years, offered America’s kids a place to go within their community, as well as guidance from committed professional staff and dedicated volunteers. Each Boys & Girls Club has a wide range of educational and recreational programs with a common goal of helping young people possess a positive self-identity and set and attain goals.

Boys & Girls Clubs of America
1230 West Peachtree St.
Atlanta, GA 30309-3447
800-854-CLUB
www.bgca.org

Chosen by Danielle Fishel

Childhelp
is a national nonprofit organization and one of the nation’s largest agencies dedicated to the treatment, prevention, and research of child abuse and neglect. Services include: residential treatment villages for abused, neglected, molested and abandoned children; advocacy centers for sexually abused children; foster family agencies; child safety programs for elementary schools; and the twenty-four hour Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline, 1-800-4-A-CHILD.

Childhelp
^®
15757 N. 78th St.
Scottsdale, AZ 85260
800-4-A-CHILD
www.childhelp.org

Chosen by Rider Strong

Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids
is an organization working to protect kids from tobacco. A few of their goals are to change public policies to limit the marketing and sales of tobacco to children, to alter the environment in which tobacco use and policy decisions are made, and actively counter the tobacco industry and its special interests.

Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids
1707 L St. NW, Ste. 800
Washington D.C. 20036
202-296-5469
www.tobaccofreekids.org