Cheyenne (45 page)

Sighing, I looked down at my hands, twisting the rings on my fingers. How could I have been so blind? How did I not see that this was a game for the two of them? Colt being so understanding, saying I didn’t have to choose. I had been ashamed, thought I had done something wrong by falling for both of them. It wasn’t me; it was them! They had wooed me, and I fell victim to their trap—to their deception. Why was I so trusting? Why had I opened up? It took Colt two and a half years, but with Callon, I willingly caved within a couple of months. Was I that desperate to have love? To want love from someone I could call my own? Someone I thought loved me back?

This was not my destiny. This was something that was forced upon me, and I didn’t want anything to do with it. I didn’t even know who these people were; they didn’t even know I existed until recently. Marcus didn’t know who I was. I could just walk away. I could create my own destiny—so far all I’d had was sorrow and pain. Surely I could construct something better than this, a place where I wasn’t constantly deceived for my own so-called protection. What they called safeguarding only caused me more heartache.

My father always told me to be strong, and that strength is measured in character. It doesn’t come from others; it comes from within—it’s something no one could take away. I wasn’t feeling strong—I was suffering, weak, and broken once again. How many times did I need to endure this kind of pain? The cracks in my heart, the wounded pieces falling around me. I was trying to pick them up, put them back together again, only to have more break off.

Dex said the fate of the clans rested on me, only me. Only I was able to free them of this evil. I snorted. I was only nineteen. Why did I have to carry this burden? Shouldn’t I have been getting ready for college? Beginning my future with prosperity instead of despair? I didn’t have the slightest idea how to rid them of evil. I had a hard enough time trying to keep any sense of a relationship intact and stay alive for another year. And how in the heck did both the Kvech and Servak promise me out to marry someone that I hadn’t even met yet? It was like I was doubly doomed. Both clans were out to set my future before I even got the chance to make a decision on my own.

I sat in the field, drew my legs into my chest, and wrapped my arms around them. I did nothing but think about the last six months. Dusk was nearing; the cooler breeze sent a chill over me. I knew I would have to haul myself up and walk inside. I would have to face all of them. The anger was gone, what filled its place was emptiness—hollowness from any emotions.

I rose to my feet. I took those unwanted steps back to the cabin. I kept my gaze locked on the ground, not wanting to see who was waiting. I didn’t want to utter a word, but I knew I would have to say something. The distance was short, but the walk was long. I saw Lilly out of the corner of my eye. I attempted to pass her, and was about to pull the screen door open when Callon suddenly appeared. I immediately looked away; I had no choice but to stand on the porch. Lilly’s light footsteps neared, and she stopped alongside me.

“
Cheyenne,” she said tenderly. “I’m sorry you found out this way. I hate seeing you suffer like this. You know this isn’t easy on them. They both love you desperately—” I cut her off mid-sentence.

“
I don’t want to talk about this, Lilly,” I said flatly. “What’s done is done. I will not be the fool again.” I inhaled a shaky breath before continuing. “Do you know where my bag is? Colt has it, and I want it back. He seems to think I’m not capable…”

“
I can get it for you,” she replied quietly.

“
Do you know when we’re leaving? I overheard everyone talking the other day about needing to depart soon. I’d really like to know.” I released an exasperated breath. “But then again, what does it really matter? I don’t get a choice in anything. I’m being held against my will.”

She shifted uncomfortably. “Cheyenne, you have—” Once again, I cut her off and turned to face her, eye to eye.

“
The first opportunity I get, I will be leaving,” I said matter-of-factly. “You can tell them. I don’t care. I have no desire to stay; I’m tired of being the one who is constantly hurt. I’m not a possession, and I’m not some trophy to be won. I will not be told whom I shall marry.” Lilly saw my firm resolve, and I left her standing alone as I walked into the cabin.

I didn’t look up; I swiftly cleared the room and went straight for the bathroom. I washed up quickly, and hesitated at the door. I knew someone would be waiting. I slowly opened it, surprised at who lay in wait. Dex was holding my bag, his knuckles white from his grasp. His jaw was taut, his eyes severe.

“
Thank you,” I mumbled as I reached for the bag, but he didn’t release it.

“
Cheyenne,” he said firmly. “I need to talk with you, and you need to listen.” He gestured for me to head to the bedroom and followed close behind, shutting the door as we entered. “Sit,” he said in a fatherly, authoritative tone. I complied as he handed me the bag, I laid it across my lap. He towered over me.

“
Lilly just told me you informed her you would be leaving the first opportunity you get. Do you realize how dangerous that is right now?” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t agree on how they handled this situation; however, they are here to protect you.” His hazel eyes bored through me. “Only you can destroy Marcus. You have to go and talk to the other clans. You need to convince them to join us. They need to know you really exist, that the Kvech line didn’t die out. They need to see, touch, feel the passion you have.

“
I know this is not what you would have chosen. No one would have chosen this, but this is your destiny. Only you can embrace it. We are here to help with what we can, but you have to allow us to.”

I narrowed my eyes, as determination set in. “Dex,” I said coolly. “What I told Lilly was true. I will leave the first opportunity I get. I’ve only needed protection since I’ve been around them.” I paused briefly. I could see his anger rising. “You were also right that I didn’t choose this destiny—it chose me. I don’t want to embrace it. You said yourself I needed to find out who I really am before I can accomplish anything. Let me find myself. No one has given me the chance to do anything on my own. Every decision has been made for me. How could anyone think that at some point in time I wouldn’t revolt?”

Dex’s teeth clenched and his annoyance rang clear. “I’ll tell them what you’re planning, and they’ll stop you. You’ll go and talk with the other clans and convince them to fight with us. You will fulfill your destiny.” His eyes narrowed, brow furrowed. “As for the promise of marriage, you only have two choices—Callon or Marcus—and you know who I would choose. I can make it happen sooner than later—I have the authority.”

Was that a threat? The room was darkening, but I saw his rage clearly. We both held strong, staring each other down. I was not backing off this time. He turned and walked out, closing the door behind. How did all these people have such control over my life?

I fiddled with the bag in my lap, calming my anger. Eventually, I dug through it, searching for something to sleep in. My fingers scraped across a jagged object. Stopping, I slowly pulled it out. It was a rock, the rock I had used earlier in the day in the cave with Colt. I stared at it for a few moments, tempted to throw it out the window. Instead I let it fall back in the bag and continued with my search finding the journal in the process as well. Little good it did me...

I found clothes, changed, and crawled into bed. I wanted this day to be over. It was strange. Just hours earlier, I was as happy and content as could be in the arms of the man I loved. Now I wanted nothing to do with any of them. Once again I was completely alone. I cried quietly and waited for sleep to find me and bring me some peace.

There was a soft knock at the door. Disoriented, I didn’t move immediately. I blinked a few times; it was morning. I must have slept the entire night.

“
Cheyenne, we’re leaving in an hour. Get ready,” Callon said in a heavy tone. I rolled over to look, but he was already exiting the room. I stared for a few minutes before moving again. I was determined not to cry. They didn’t need to see my tears; they didn’t need to see how deeply they hurt me. If this was just a game to them, they would never see my sorrow—I would hide my pain.

I was not going to accept this destiny. I would create my own. I crawled out of bed, grabbed some clothes, and headed for the bathroom. I showered quickly, threw on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and tied a long sleeved shirt around my waist for later. I returned to my room, and the pack was already gone. I turned and headed for the great room. Dex and Lilly were waiting. I paused at the entry, trying to determine the mood. Last night when Dex left he was angry—and so was I.

I took the first step. “Thank you for your hospitality. I wish I didn’t have to leave on a sour note, but I really didn’t have a choice.”

Lilly’s unease showed through as she stepped forward and hugged me. I returned the hug. “We’re going to miss you, Cheyenne,” her voice cracked. “I wish I had more time with you.” She was holding back tears.

“
I’ll miss you, too,” I replied sincerely. I would miss her, although it was probably easier this way. I could keep myself closed off—no hurt. I stepped back only to run into Dex. He drew his arm around me.

“
I’m sorry,” he said gently, his anger gone. “I’m sorry for so many things, Cheyenne. One day you’ll understand.” He turned back to see my face. “Lilly packed you some food, enough for about three days. You should be able to make it back by then.”

“
Thank you, Lilly. I appreciate it,” I said as I glanced her way again.

The screen door opened, and Callon walked through. I turned slightly and saw he was ready to go—they were waiting on me. I gave one last look to Dex and Lilly and headed for the door. I kept my eyes averted as we paused on the porch.

Callon grasped my arm as he pulled me back. “Dex told me your plans.” He whispered. “We will stop you.”

I didn’t reply.
He who must be obeyed
was not someone I felt the need to obey any longer. I knew Dex had told them, but I would bide my time, waiting until the right moment arrived. I would leave, and they would be helpless to stop me. I kept my head down, gaze locked to the ground as Callon led me to Mandi. Colt was holding her, waiting for me to look up—I wouldn’t. Callon’s hands locked around my waist as he helped me mount. I didn’t need his assistance, but he helped anyway. I took the reins in hand and stared at my fingers. I stared at the Kvech ring, the Servak ring—the rings that determined my future. Colt’s hand grazed my arm as he passed, but instead of warmth a chill passed over my skin.

With a kick to Mandi, I followed behind Daniel. I closed my eyes as we departed. I didn’t want to look back. I didn’t want to look forward, and I didn’t want to shed any more tears. As hard as I tried, the tears streamed down my cheeks.

Tears for what had been, for what was lost and for what would never be. I had opened my heart, allowed them in, and found it broken and torn because of it. I was strong, even stronger than my circumstances—I would prevail. I pushed down the tears as I opened my eyes. Opened them to what lie ahead, what my destiny would be—what I would make it. I squinted from the sunlight. My future would be just as bright. No one was going to tell me which way to go. Destiny had no hold on me—I would overcome.

Lisa Wiedmeier is a self-employed bookkeeper who lives in Idaho with her loving husband, two sons and crazy dog Mandi. She has tamed the wilderness of her imagination and she has recently completed 8 novels in her Timeless Series, with a ninth book upcoming and a new novel The Gate also in the works.