Chernevog (8 page)

His had a crack which Uulamets' casual wish probably still kept from breaking.

All these years.

Sasha murmured, getting up as Eveshka started taking the dishes away:
“
I'll help you clean up.
”

Pyetr caught his arm.
“
Too much thinking going on here. Forget the dishes. Let's see if there's a carrot left, see if the rascal got out last night. Both of you. —Veshka? Come on. It'll do everybody good.
”

“
I've notes to make,
”
Eveshka said, over a clatter of plates in the washing pan.
“
Too many changes yesterday. It's all right, go on, go on, off with you.
”
Pyetr looked at Sasha.

“
Later I will,
”
Sasha said, ducking his head, gathering up the teacups, sure that he had to pursue what he had started with Eveshka. Now. It was all getting too strange and felt too unreasonable.

“
Later. Later. God. —You spend too much time with that damn book, boy.
”
Pyetr was put out with him: he was put out with both of them, with reason, Sasha was sure. Pyetr said, again:
“
Come on. Clear the cobwebs out of your thinking. Get your hands on a horse again. It'll do you good.
”

Volkhi muddled his thinking even without his touching him.
“
I can't,
”
Sasha said unhappily, to which Pyetr flung up his hands and said to Eveshka:
“
You reason with him.
”

Eveshka only looked back over her shoulder with a sober, enigmatic:
“
Don't you know? You can't argue with him.
”

“
God,
”
Pyetr said,
“
I'm going to talk to my horse. Books make you crazy, you know.
”
A motion at his head.
“
Thinking all those little crooked marks mean real things, that's not sane, you know.
”
He waved the same hand toward the front door.
“
Out there is real. Don't lose track of that.
”
“
Don't forget your coat,
”
Eveshka said.
“
I don't need a coat. I plan to work. Like honest, ordinary folk. It's sit-abouts that need coats on a day like this.
”
Pyetr took the bucket they had put the honeyed grain in, opened the door on daylight, went back to take a remainder of last night's honey-cakes, and went back a third time to pick up the vodka jug from off the kitchen counter.
“
Bribes,
”
he explained.
“
The whole world works on sufficient bribes.
”
“
Don't trample the garden!
”
Eveshka called out to him. Pyetr made a face, swept his cap off the peg, gathered up his
bucket from beside the door, the vodka jug in the other hand, and pulled the door to behind him with his foot, Sasha started dipping water into the pan to wash the dishes. Eveshka said not a word to him, wished him nothing. - Sasha said, aloud,
“
I didn't sleep at all last night. Eveshka, I keep thinking something's wrong.
”

“
Let's not talk about it. Done's done. It's all right.
”

“
It's not about the horse. It's about us fighting.
”

“
We don't fight.
”

“
We're fighting now.
”

“
I 'm not fighting. I don't know what you're doing, but I certainly don't intend to fight.
”
Eveshka went back to the fireplace after the griddle, then took a cloth, got down on her hands and knees and started cleaning up the ash he had gotten on her floor.

“
Let me do that.
”

“
I 'm perfectly fine. Everything's perfectly fine. I 'm not mad, dammit!
”

“
Listen to me.
”
He got down on his knees and took the cloth away from her, but she would not look at him. She got up and wont away to the counter, so he scrubbed the boards and the stone where the ash had landed, and got up to hang the rag on an empty peg to dry.

Stop, she wished him, so violently he looked at her.
“
Not with the good ones,
”
she said.
“
Hang it by the fire. I'll get it later.
”

He hung the offending rag where she wanted it, on the spare pothook, anxious to keep the peace any way he could. Aunt
Ilenka
had been that way about her kitchen. One supposed it came with marriage.

He did not want to think that, either. Eveshka eavesdropped; he was doing it now, he felt it plain as plain. She knew he felt it and wished he would go outside with Pyetr and leave her be.

“
I think,
”
he said aloud, standing his ground,
“
I think our not getting a bannik must have been my fault. I think with what happened yesterday—we need one, badly, and we ought to try. Hut I don't want to be wishing it on my own, I don't want to be wishing things about the house that you don't want.
”

“
What does a bannik have to do with anything? Or with the horse? That's
done,
that's all. We don't need anything else mudying the waters. Just stop worrying about it, Sasha!
”

“
It might stop things we haven't done yet. It might tell us—
”

“
It won't.
”

“
It might stop things from going wrong.
”

“
Who said they were going wrong?
”

“
They're not going exactly right, are they?
”

“
Banniks don't like wizards. They don't talk, any more than Babi, any more than the domovoi: they show you things, and they never make sense.
”

“
But if we had the least idea where what we're wishing might take us—
”

“
It never helps. We change things, we're constantly changing things and you can't tell, you can't tell anything by what they say and
they
don't like it. Papa used to say.
”
Every time Eveshka mentioned her father she would frown guardedly and look at him as if she were looking for echoes. ‘‘And we don't need it.
”

“
I still think-
”

“
Our bannik didn't help us. I didn't see what was going to happen to me. We didn't see anything about Kavi Chernevog.
”
She never talked about her dying. She scrubbed furiously at the last dish, bit her lip and said,
“
I'm sure I'll like the horse. If it makes Pyetr happy, I'm happy.
”

She hardly looked happy. Sasha said:
“
Is there some reason not?
”

“
What?
”

“
About the bannik. Is there some reason not to want one?
”

“
It doesn't help. It didn't help, I'm telling you! Why don't you go help Pyetr?
”

“
Eveshka. Why wouldn't you want it here?
”

“
For the god's sake why should I care? Why should I care if we do or if we don't? What's that to do with anything?
”

“
Things just aren't right,
”
he said, thinking of the
shelf
, thinking of—

—the stability of everything. Everything in balance. Chernevog, in the leshys' keeping; Uulamets; all the hundreds of wishes that might be loose about this place and all the dangers for as long as they lived and worked magic here.

“
Things have been perfectly right,
”
she said, drying the bowl. ‘‘Things have been perfectly right for years before this, and what you did is done, and there's not a thing we can do that doesn't
make
a bigger thing of it than it is, so just let it be, Sasha Vasilyevitch, for the god's sake, just forget about it, you're the one who's making an argument out of it.
”

“
I
want your help.
”

“
If you want a bannik, if you want a horse and a pig and a goat besides, god, I'm sure I don't care. It's your house.
”

“
It's not my house.
”

“
I
'm sure papa intended it.
”

“
Your
father gave me the book. Nothing else.
”

A spoon clattered onto the counter.
“
Papa gave you a lot else.
”

There was long silence.

“
Not as much as you imagine,
”
he said. He had been wanting
to say
it for years. He had tried to say it that way for years. But
it fell short, he saw the set of her chin.
“
You
don't know what I imagine.
”

“
Eveshka,
”
he said, treading further and further onto dangerous ground,
“
Eveshka, you don't want me here, do you? Not really.
”

“
I never said I didn't want you here. I don't want you here
now,
that's all, I don't want you in my kitchen and I don't want to talk about that damned horse. I'm sick of talking about the horse!
”

“
You’re
mad at me.
”

“
I
'm not mad at you!
”
She flung down the dishtowel.
’‘You're being stupid, Sasha Vasilyevitch, I don't know what put this idea of a bannik into your head, but you're acting the fool—you've been acting the fool for a month, and I wish you'd stop it! If you want a bannik, wish up a bannik, wish up whatever you like.
”

“
That's what I'm worried about,
”
he said. He wanted her to know he was confused, and scared, because he was not her father, he was not even sure he knew what her father would have wished except to keep them out from under the same roof, and he did not even know if it was his idea to leave the house and live elsewhere Or if it was Uulamets'.

That set Eveshka off her balance. She wanted him outside, wanted him to quit bothering her with his wishes and his worries, forbade him to talk about building another house, wanted him not to upset Pyetr with his ideas and never to talk to her about her father—wanted three things and four all at the same
time, and stopped wishing at all, folding her arms tightly and biting her lips before something else escaped her.

“
I'm inconvenient,
”
Sasha said carefully,
“
and even if none of us wants that to be true, it is, I know it is. It's very hard to get along just with Pyetr—
”

“
I
’v
e no trouble getting along with Pyetr!
”

“
But I do,
”
he said, wishing she would be honest.
“
At least enough, and I've lived in town with people
...”

“
I'm not a fool! Don't treat me like one!
”

“
I know you're not.
”

“
I'm tired of hearing about that damned horse! I don't want to want anything, I just want peace—
”

She stopped herself and bit her lip, and hoped that wish desperately to safety. He tried to help.

“
Please.
”

“
—peace with all of us,
”
she said firmly.
“
Leave it at that
”

“
Eveshka, I'm not sure about things, I'm not sure about
what
we're doing.
”

“
Leave it alone!
”
Eveshka said. She turned away from him and started straightening up the counter.