Chasing the Wild Sparks (26 page)

“Hadley, shhh. It’ll be okay,” Rod says as he helps me stand up with Morgan still clinging to me.

“I lost him!” I cry.

Morgan sniffs and states, “You’re better off.”

“No!” I shout through my sobs. I clutch onto Rod and hug him, while Morgan stands behind me with her arms around my neck.

Rod pats my back and says, “No, you didn’t. He’s just upset right now. Finn’s in love with you.”

But this time, I don’t know if our love is enough.

CHAPTER 16

FINN

“Finn!”

I can’t take any more of this shit. I frankly don’t know what to do. My girlfriend doesn’t want to live with me. She actually said the fucking words to me, like it doesn’t even matter. Why should it? I won’t put a ring on
that
finger, so why should
my
feelings matter? They never do. Becks is caught up in the same riptide all little girls grow up to be sucked into. She wants the Prince Charming on the white horse offering her promises of a perfect wedding and a happily ever-after.

Fuck that shit. It doesn’t happen.

Too bad most of them are made up of ugly dresses, fake smiles, temporary vows and a shitty ever-after.

“Finn, wait!”

Wait? For what?
You to change your fucking mind?
She’ll never concede to moving in with me. Shit. I’ll be waiting around until I’m dead in the ground, just like she won’t change her mind about wanting the white wedding with me being the fill-in groom.

Fuck that, too.

Any guy would probably do. Why is she hell-bent on dragging
me
to the altar? That’s all women want. They want the wedding, but not the marriage that follows. Becks would then soon crash from her wedding high and be left with what? Just me and a marriage she doesn’t want. I’ll be stuck with a fucking broken heart and empty pockets after she divorces my ass.

Maybe it’s the booze talking.

Do I think she’d really do that to me? I don’t know. I don’t want to find out, either.

Therefore, if she thinks I’m going to change my mind about marriage, she has another thing coming. She’ll be waiting a long time for me to ever do an about-face on that fucking subject. What is it that marriage does to couples? Why is it so wrong for me to not want to lose the only woman I’ve ever loved? Isn’t it rather honorable of me to want to hold onto her? It seems like she wants to throw it all away. I thought we were in love. I know I am.

Or am I fucking kidding myself with that, too?

Arms wrap around my stomach and try to stop me from walking. They don’t, but I stop anyway. “Becks, let go of me.”

“No. I want you to stay here!” She keeps her hands on my body—like she’s afraid of me bolting and as if she’d actually be able to stop me—while she travels to the front of me.

“Please, Finn. Don’t get in your car!” I may be drunk, but I’m not a fucking idiot.

Apathetic to the dismal situation that is my life, my hands automatically furrow into my hair in exasperation. “I’m not going to drive. I needed to get out of there.”
I needed to get away from you.

“Where are you going to go?”

“Don’t really care.” I hear a car approaching and I look to see a city cop pulling up in a white Charger alongside us. “Oh, fuck. Who called the cops? I didn’t do anything!” This won’t look good for me at work if I get my ass arrested! Shit!

The driver’s door opens and Ricky climbs out. Thank God. I sigh in relief, but then realize that he’ll perpetually ride my ass for a long time about this. I just want this fucking night to be over. I drop my head and rub my forehead in frustrated respite.

“Well, hello there, Miss Hadley.” Ricky Tesco, the only man I trust to look after Becks when I can’t, even though he’s a notorious player and ladies’ man. He’s put his whoring tendencies to bed, so to speak, since remarrying this time, but when he’s not married, he’s fucking any woman who gives him a second glance. He ruined his first marriage when Nina caught him cheating on her. What a dumbass. Ricky and I had a huge fight about him doing that. I’m not even sure why he got married again, yet he did fall for Shay, which was surprising.

Ricky is 32 years-old, an inch taller than me and of Mexican descent, though he can’t speak a word of Spanish. I doubt he even knows what language Mexicans speak, bless his heart. His father’s parents were from Mexico, but his parents are both American. Ricky hates being alone, yet he seems happier when he’s a swinging single; although, I prefer him married, ironically, because he’s not on my jock trying to get me to go barhopping with him like he does when he’s single. Ricky and I used to go when we were both single; however, he always had to pick the bars where the women recognized me, which he then complained about because they were only interested in me. We attempted to go far away enough where he wouldn’t be recognized as a cop, but his jurisdiction isn’t as big as my viewing area. He had also wanted to stay away from dive bars because the women were of debatable quality there. What the hell? He was looking for a fast fuck, not a ripe melon. I usually functioned as his DD and wingman, since none of the women we encountered turned my head or piqued my interest. When Becks and I first started dating, Ricky used to tell me that I could help myself to the friends and that he wouldn’t breathe a word to her. No thanks. His taste in women is vastly different than mine. Plus, I would never cheat on my Becks. I couldn’t do that to her, even if she’d never find out. I’d know. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.

“I see my buddy, Finn, found you.” I look up when he mentions my name and he smirks at me. Thanks, Captain Obvious.

“Yes. Thanks ever so much for your help in doing that,” Becks says sarcastically. Gee, sorry I ruined your night, sweetheart!

He replies, “Not a problem.” Looking from Becks to me, he asks, “Hey, man. What happened? You look like you were run over by a bottle of Jack.”

“Repeatedly.”

Ricky shakes his head. “Hadley, what the hell did you do to him? Didn’t you let him give you a Slow Comfortable Screw Up Against the Wall?” No, but I tried to give her a Fast Hot Fuck in a Corner Booth. She declined that, too.

“Hysterical,” she ridicules.

“Did you break his heart? Is that why he was drinking?”

She answers, “No.”

I contend, “Yes.” Ricky apprehensively sends his gaze to Becks before looking at me again. Believe me. It is confusing, my friend.

“Interesting,” he says. I glance over at Becks and she has her head down, her shoulders subtly shaking. Oh, fuck. She’s crying.

She mumbles, “It’s really not. It’s rather sad.”

“It shouldn’t be like this,” I reply.

“Why can’t you drive my boy home?” Ricky asks.

“I don’t have my car and I can’t drive a stick.” Ricky beams at the opportunity to turn something into a sex joke. “What are you going to do with your car since Hadley can’t drive your stick?” He laughs. Not the time, jerkwad.

I sigh. “Don’t know.”

From the corner of my eye, I see Becks quickly shift her body to me and hold out her hand, so I turn my head and look down at her. Even with smeared makeup under her eyes, she’s still so utterly beautiful. “Give me your key.”

“You’re not driving my car. You’ll fuck it up since you don’t know how to drive it.”

Ricky interjects, “I can pick it up later. I don’t get off until six. I’ll need someone to pick me up from the precinct. I don’t know if you want to leave it here that long, though. If you talk to the manager, they might not have it towed.” Yeah. Towed. Exactly what I want to happen to my car.

“Ivan will take it for you, okay? Just give me your key.”

Persistent, isn’t she? I’ll make it worth her while then. I grin at her. “You’ll have to come and get it.” I raise my arms so she can get into my pockets. This should be fun.

She looks questionably at my crotch. “Which pocket?”

“I guess you’ll just have to frisk me.” She sighs as she moves over behind me and puts her arms around my waist. She carefully begins to pat my pockets, deliberately avoiding my dick.

“Don’t grope him too much. I don’t want to have to arrest him for indecent exposure.” I look over at Ricky and smirk. He rolls his eyes and looks away.

From under my arm, Becks asks Ricky, “Isn’t this your job?” She slides her hand into my right pocket. I try to get her to graze my balls, but she yanks her hand out before I’m able to execute my plan. Fuck. She never wants to touch me. I have to either guide her to do it or beg her to. Don’t I turn her on? Why doesn’t she ever want to touch me? To turn me on without me steering her in that direction? I want so much for her hands to have a mind of their own, not to mention that mouth of hers. What she can do with that tongue would be fucking out of this world if she ever sucks me off. Just once. That’s all I’m asking of her. She wouldn’t have to swallow. Hell, she wouldn’t even have to finish me off in her mouth. She could move and let me come on her tits, or she could bring me to the brink and then climb on and ride me out.

“Damn, Finn! That’s not a good sign when your woman can’t wait to not touch you!” Tell me about it.

“I’m used to it.” I don’t see Becks’ face, but she moves away from me rather fast.

Ricky observes, nodding, “I now see why you were drinking.”

Becks interrupts, “Can you just get him home? Ivan will bring his car over shortly after.”

“Sure thing.” Ricky walks over and opens the back door of his car. As I step over to it, Becks grabs my hand, but I can’t look at her. I know that I said some things to hurt her. I’m hurt, too. She ungraciously dumps my hand and I duck my head to sit down. Feeling her eyes etching into me even though it’s fucking cramped back here, I prop my arms on my thighs and put my head in my hands to try and shield myself. Nevertheless, I can still feel her. Ricky gives me some relief by shutting the door. The driver’s side front door is open, so I can hear some of what is being said.

“What happened in there? Did you two really break up?”
It sure in the hell feels like something happened between us in there. Whatever it was, it’s dire.

I hear Becks’ sobs. I want to hold her, but who’s going to comfort
me
? She wasn’t the only one whose fucking heart was ripped out in there. Even if I wanted to, I can’t get out of the car with the steel and bulletproof cage between the front and backseats and the inability to open the back doors from here. I’ve never been arrested before, but now I have a consensus of what kind of hell it would be like. I’ll pass. I’m a prisoner in every fucking sense of the word.

“I don’t know. He said some really horrible things to me.”
I wasn’t the only one! She tore my heart out and stomped on it!

“He was so worried about you, Hadley. When he called me from work, he was so flustered. He’s never been that upset about you before. You two are always happy.”

“We used to be.”
That’s like a bullet straight to my heart. I wish Ricky would put me out of my misery right now.

Ricky sighs.
“What happened?”

“He started doing shots. A lot of them.”
I drank more on Friday night when she didn’t want to stay with me.

“Just out of the blue? Did he tell you he was going to be drinking?”

“No. I don’t think he was planning on drinking since he drove.”
No, I wasn’t going to get drunk again this weekend. Once was too much.
“He went ballistic when he saw me dancing.”

“Dancing? With another man? Dressed like this?”
Ricky better not be checking her out more than necessary or I’ll gauge his fucking eyes out. Becks looks so hot that I almost fucked her on the dance floor, which is not even an exaggeration. I thought about it when I put my hand in her skirt, feeling her through her underwear. I would have if she had let me unbutton that skirt another button.

“I don’t usually dress like this, Ricky. You know that.”
True, but she can dress like that just for me anytime she wants. Though, I’d rather her only at home where she can straddle me over the bed without anything on underneath her skirt.
Fuck.
Thinking about her body is driving me insane.

“I do, but I’m sure that drove Finn crazy to see you looking so… And hanging on someone else.”
I wanted to lick more than her delicious mouth. My Becks is the best thing I’ve ever tasted.

“I wasn’t hanging on strangers.”
No. Just Rod—the one that wants in her underwear. Not a chance in hell. What do I have to do to show him that she’s mine? Fuck her in front of him to prove my point?

“Who might you be?”

“Greg Rodwell. I’m friends with Hadley.”
Friends. Like I said, he’d better not be fucking her. I’ll kill him before my broken heart kills me.

“Is he the reason why Finn is so upset?”

“Part of it.”
A big part.

“Are you two seeing each other? Are you cheating on Finn, Hadley?”

The moment of truth… Maybe.

“No!”
she screeches. Wow. She sounds pained and heartfelt, wrenching my soul through the alcohol haze. I’ve never heard her like that before. I actually believe her.
“Greg and I are coworkers and friends. That’s all!”

“Then, why is he so…broken?”
Because Becks rejected me…yet again.

“He thought we did break up earlier today.”

“Thought?”

“We had an argument about him not wanting to introduce me to people.”

“That’s how he wants it with you. It’s not to hurt you.”
Even Ricky understands!