Chasing Justice (Gay Detective Romance Novella) (9 page)

“What do you mean?”

“You and I could date.”

Luke blinked. “Are you being serious?”

“Why not? I don’t have anyone tying me down. You can stand to be in the same room with me for more than five minutes—which, I have to be honest, is a record for me lately—and you’re sexy as hell. What’s to think about?”

Luke considered the ramifications on his own life. His separation was nearing the divorce stage. He was fairly certain of that at this point. He thought back to the comments he made to Elizabeth about how the work came first and nothing got in the way of that, and how he was now thinking about breaking his own rule. For a man. What a hypocrite. He had to admit it to himself, though: the thought about having sex with someone like Eddie made him curious.

“But you live in L.A.,” Luke said.

“Minor inconvenience.”

“What about our work schedules? Or fraternization rules if we work with the Marshals again? Or—”

“Luke,” Eddie said, interrupting him by placing a hand on his chest, “believe me, I’ve already gone over this in my head a thousand times. I’m not asking to get married or anything. I’d just like to
try
. God knows we both could use a little comfort in our lives. I feel like I can trust you enough to give that to me, even if it’s only for a little while.”

Luke sighed. “I haven’t been on a date since I was sixteen.”

“I haven’t given a New York City detective a blowjob in a back alley until tonight. There’s a first time for everything.”

“You make it sound simple.”

“Oh, it’s not, believe me. But I’d like to go out to dinner and for once not be worried about telling someone that I catch dangerous criminals for a living. You and I understand each other. We can have some drinks, talk, argue over baseball, maybe get to know each other better. Fuck once in a while. I’m not asking for exclusivity. I’m looking to have fun without someone I don’t hate.”

Luke thought about the lonely nights that were ahead of him once the divorce was final. Eating meals alone, decorating a new apartment with his meager possessions when they eventually sold the house and he had to move out, watching TV until he couldn’t keep his eyes open simply because he didn’t want to sleep in a bed by himself for the first time since he was eighteen. None of it sounded particularly good to him.

“I’d love to get to know you better, Eddie.”

Eddie put his hands against the wall on either side of Luke’s head and leaned in for a kiss. It was lingering and deep with lots of tongue, and it made Luke’s stomach quiver.

“I take it that means you’re looking forward to it,” Luke laughed.

“I am, Detective. I’m just glad you said yes. But even if you’d said no, well…that dance tonight would have been enough.”

Chapter 8

They’d been driving in cross-town traffic for about twenty minutes when Eddie finally said something.

“I’m no expert, but…I feel like we’re leaving Manhattan,” he said, staring out the passenger-side window.

A green sign for the Queens Midtown Tunnel came into view, and Eddie turned to Luke with a questioning look on his face.

“You’re right,” Luke said.

“They’re waiting on me to transport Thayer,” Eddie said.

“I know. They can wait a little longer.”

“Luke—”

“I thought we’d go for a drink to celebrate,” Luke said.

“Where? There are a thousand bars in Manhattan.”

“My place seemed more appropriate.”

“Your place. In Queens, I suppose, based on that road sign?”

“I don’t know when I’ll be able to see you again after tonight. So I’m trying not to think. I’m just going to enjoy the feeling.”

“The feeling? Of what?”

Luke turned to him and met his eyes.

“Oh
shit
.”

“You said life’s too short to worry about anything other than pleasure. A nice long fuck was part of that as I recall,” Luke said.

“I said I wasn’t expecting you to reciprocate, Luke. I meant that. You don’t owe me anything.”

“I know, Eddie. I simply want to be with you for a little while.”

Eddie leaned back in his seat, and put his hands behind his head. “I think we can manage that.”

+ + + + +

The drive out to Queens took almost an hour in traffic. Luke was quiet for most of the ride as he contemplated his decision to sleep with Eddie. Was he ready for something like this with a virtual stranger? His entire sexual history up until that point had been getting to second base with his freshman year girlfriend, and then getting married. But he couldn’t deny the physical attraction he and Eddie shared, nor could he adequately describe the way his entire body felt after getting that blowjob in the alley. It was liberating to give in to pleasure and not care about the consequences. He wasn’t thinking about Kathy, or the divorce, or anything that had been keeping him up at night for God knows how long. All he wanted in those moments were Eddie’s mouth on his cock and the sweet sensation of release.

His neighborhood in Queens was old—most houses were built in the 40’s and 50’s and then rehabbed as the original owners passed away. Luke’s house was a small two-story bungalow with a brick facade and vinyl siding. Scrolled wrought iron pillars on the porch supported an aluminum canopy awning that matched the tan color of the house. The small patch of front lawn was surrounded by a decorative brick walled fence. The driveway in similarly colored brick led to a detached garage behind the house.

“Cute,” Eddie said as they got out of the car.

“Took us forever to save up the down payment.”

“You’ve been living here alone?”

“Kathy already found a nice apartment close to the school with the kids. I think she let me stay here out of pity. Once the divorce is final we’ve agreed to split the proceeds of the sale.”

“Seems like a shame,” Eddie said as they walked up the brick steps to the porch. “Looks like you put in a lot of work.”

“Guess I’ll have to get over it.”

While Luke wasn’t the best housekeeper now that he was living in the house alone, it was still relatively tidy inside. The living room was neat and the kitchen clean, and after entering Eddie took off his leather jacket, tossed it over an armchair, and settled in on the couch.

“Your wife has an eye for design. I wasn’t expecting the open concept.”

“Before we remodeled, every room had a door, even the kitchen,” Luke said, grabbing two beers from the fridge and walking over to sit down next to Eddie. “I picked out the hardwood.”

“Nice,” Eddie said, tapping his boot against the floor. “Tastefully decorated.”

“It was all Kathy.”

“What about that?” Eddie asked, pointing to the fist-shaped hole in the wall.

“That? Oh, it’s nothing.”

Eddie propped his head up with his hand. “Luke. C’mon.”

“What do you want me to say? It’s exactly what it looks like.”

“Does that happen a lot?”

Luke shrugged. “Only over the past few weeks.”

“Since the separation, I take it?”

“Yeah,” Luke admitted.

“All this anger isn’t healthy, man, and you know it. Between Thayer and that incident in the bathroom, to punching that paper towel dispenser, and now this? It’s worrying.”

“I know,” he admitted.

“Have you thought about talking to someone about it?”

Luke chuckled darkly. “That’s what Elizabeth said.”

“You should listen to your partner. The more you talk, the more the pain will fade,” Eddie said, leaning his head back on the couch. “Soon it’ll be nothing but a scar and you can move on with your life.”

“You’re speaking from experience.”

“Hell yeah. I’m not afraid to admit that I needed someone to talk to on occasion, either because of shit I’ve seen on the job, or because a guy left me—or I left him.”

“Your life is almost the complete opposite of mine,” Luke said. “I’ve been with one woman since I was a eighteen.”

“Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I’d met a girl when I was that age and had a bunch of kids.”

“You’ve been with women?”

“When I was a teenager, because that’s what was expected of me in a little town in California. You know—dating, the prom, Homecoming. I eventually came to the realization that I couldn’t lie to myself. I tried to, but by the time I was nineteen I knew. I
always
went back to men.”

“Why? I mean, if you don’t mind me asking.”

Eddie sighed, taking a moment to formulate his thought. “I love men, Luke. How they smell, their muscles, their strength, how they taste, how they fuck. I can’t explain it. It’s rough and primal when I’m with another guy, like the feel of a motorcycle between my legs. I want to lose control. I want someone to make me beg for more. It’s desperate and it’s passionate and it’s plain fucking
lust
, you know what I mean? I
have
to have it.”

Luke wondered if he was feeling the same thing. Something about Eddie ignited a dormant spark somewhere deep inside him. He wanted to experience that fire again—the wild, untamed sense of losing himself with another person—something he hadn’t felt in years. He never expected it would be with another man, though.

“Have you had many boyfriends?”

“Checking up on me?”

“Not at all. It’s just a little surreal that I find myself sitting on a couch with another man discussing the intimate details of my life.”

“Blowjobs bring people together,” Eddie smirked.

“It’s also because I’ve never done anything like this.”

“Luke,” Eddie said, touching him on the cheek, “you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I told you that.”

But in that moment Luke already knew he wanted every little bit Eddie was willing to give him. He wanted to feel the raw intensity of having sex with a man, tasting his cum, teasing his throbbing cock. He needed to touch Eddie, and feel him, and run his hands over his muscled, masculine body, and forget the soft curves of women.

“I know. I
want
this. I want you.”

“Oh, do you?” Eddie asked, smiling at him. “How much?”

“I feel like I’m sixteen again. I’m nervous, and excited,” Luke admitted. “I’m also getting hard just thinking about it.”

Eddie slid his hand down onto the front of Luke’s trousers. “Huh. You’re right.”

Luke began to kiss Eddie’s neck, and moved over his jaw, and then found his mouth. Luke kissed him gently at first, but then Eddie opened his mouth to give him better access, and within moments they were kissing deeply, tongues clashing.

“I can still taste myself on you,” Luke said, his voice low and husky.

“Does your little Queens castle feature a shower large enough for two people?”

“Just barely.”

“That’s exactly the size I was hoping for,” Eddie said, getting up. He took Luke’s hand and pulled him to his feet. “Lead the way, Detective.”

+ + + + +

Upstairs a short hall led to three bedrooms, with a bathroom across from two of them. The master had its own
en suite
, with a dual vanity and newly tiled enclosed glass shower.

“Looks new,” Eddie commented. “Did you do this yourself?”

“Can you tell one of the tiles is a little crooked beneath the showerhead?” Luke laughed. “Because yeah.”

“No, not at all. It’s really nice. It’s bigger than I expected for this size house.”

“We tore out part of the master closet to extend it enough to get the vanity in. Lots of work. I guess it’s worth it for resale.”

“Sorry about that.”

“It’ll be someone else’s problem now,” Luke said, turning on the shower. “We could use the money.”

Eddie grabbed Luke’s waist and turned him around so he could kiss him. “I’m going to make you forget about all that tonight,” he said, undoing the buttons on Luke’s dress shirt. When he had come to the end of the row and slipped it from Luke’s shoulders, he began running his hands over Luke’s chest.

“What do you bench, two hundred? Two twenty-five?”

“I did three reps at two sixty-five,” Luke answered, staring as Eddie’s hands slid up and down his pecs and abs. Eddie’s fingers traced lazy circles over his nipples, and then he put both his hands over Luke’s biceps.

“
Damn
,” Eddie said. “Fucking beautiful.”

Luke still had on the bright silver belt buckle Eddie had let him borrow, and now Eddie began unfastening it, along with the belt. Luke’s trousers, shoes, and socks came next, until he was standing in the bathroom wearing nothing but his briefs.

“They say men wear boxers and boys wear briefs. But seeing how your package looks with them on, I have to disagree,” Eddie said.

“Are you going to tell me you’ll be wearing some fashionable printed boxers when you take those jeans off?” Luke asked.

“No,” Eddie answered, pulling his jeans down over his hips, “I don’t wear underwear.”