Chasing Imperfection (Chasing Series 2) (4 page)

    
We were both distraught when the doctor came in the room.

     “Miss Richards?”
T
he salt and pepper haired
doctor asked. I nodded to him because my
voice has
completely left me, my body
completely
in shock.
He introduced himself as Dr. Hill. He
was kind and understanding as he
explained the situation. The amount of alcohol and drugs Chad consumed was
unbelievable
. I felt
as if
the doctor slapped me when he asked if Chad had
given
any indication
he
was suicidal
.
What was
he blabbering about?
Chad would never commit suicide.
But why would he?
The doctor kept insisting that it was
suicide.
His
coma
could
be indefinite or
it
could be permanent. The next few days
were
going to be critical for his
recover
y
.
He said there was not much
that
we ca
n do until they see progress. He
bid his farewell shortly after.

     Lucy and I held each other.
We both agreed
that he would never commit suicide and yet here he was. The guilt
is
eating us up inside because we didn’t have any clue what Chad was going through.
The thought of Chad in
a
coma permanently terrifies that hell out of me.

    
He can’t leave! He has to survive. He will open his eyes again and give me that sweet smile
,
I kept saying to myself
.
He’s such a beautiful person
, inside and out.
His
career was
starting to take
off, what’s the reason behind the suicide? Boyfriend? Finances?
What?

    
Whatever it was…suicide is not the answer.
He had
us to help him out—he didn’t have to
go through
it alone.
But apparently he felt alone
or he would never have opted
for this
. Suicide usually is the last resort and
my dear friend was
unknowingly holding on
by
a very fine thread.

      I pulled a chair next to him and held his hand while Lucy did the same on the other side. We both silently prayed and hoped our friend will recover from this.

    
My sweet Chad…please don’t leave me…
I thought as I fell asleep crying holding his cold
,
lifeless
hand.

    
I woke up when I heard hushed voices.
A
bright stream of sunshine filtered through the tinted windows. I looked up and saw Tob
y holding on Lucy. His face and
eyes were red and blotchy. He was obviously crying too.  “Toby? When did you get here?”

     “Around nine
-
thirty, two h
ours ago—I came here as soon as
I found out. Blake couldn’t come since he’s in Australia for the next two weeks. He said he’ll try to wrap-up everything as soon as possible and be here as well.” I nodded in understanding.

     Kyle came the moment he found out and all four of us stayed there and prayed for our friend to come back to us. The guys took turns fetch
ing
coffee and food. Not once did Luce and I leave the hospital room.

    
It was late Sunday afternoon and Toby had to fly back to Spain for work. He promised to be back in couple of days.
He needed to sort some business before taking a few days off.

    
When Monday rolled
around
, Lucy reluctantly had to leave for school. I stayed vigilantly next to him. Kyle brought some clothes for me and all the other things I needed.
I tried to look for Chad’s phone but apparently he didn’t have it with him when the medics brought him in.

    
I had to personally make calls to my teachers and explain the whole thing. They said that I could do the assignments and email it to them before the end of the semester. I promised I would do all the extra work and visit
m
useums if I have to. They were all kind, understanding and at the same time worried about Chad. I knew what they were thinking. What if he never wakes up again? But I can’t think like that. I have to be optimistic. I have
to keep faith for Chad. He needed
me to be strong for him.

     For the next few days, Luce did the same as I did. She leaves only when she has to. Kyle visits twice a day
—i
n the morning before he goes to work and after he gets out of work.

     By Friday, I was watching reruns of Hollyoaks on the small television screen the hospital provid
ed when I felt Chad’s hand move
. I jumped from my seat and stared at his hand for a whole minute without blinking.
T
here it was
again,
it was moving!

    
I
scrambled to my feet and
rang
the nurse’s station and told them what I witnessed.
The doctor barged in after five minutes checking vital signs and ordered a CT scan immediately. The nurses wheeled him out of the room and
o
nto another floor. The doctor advised me to stay put and get some rest.

    
I was fidgeting when Kyle found me and I relayed everything to him. “Sienna, I understand your worry—I really do babe—but you have to go home and rest. You need to sleep or you’ll be the one in the hospital next. You’re shedding weight.”

    
He’s right
.

     
I feel like I’m floating and I’m so groggy
I can’t think straight
. I can’t be of
any
help if I kill myself in the process.

    
“K
,
but only after the doctor gets back from the scan.”
He nodded
and squeezed my shoulders.

     We waited for the doctor—what seemed like forever—and he explained that there’s some brain activity and advised that the possibility of Chad recovering can still vary. We have to wait for a few more days if Chad shows any signs.

     After the doctor left, Kyle took me back to his house. I didn’t want to be alone and he
insisted on taking
care of me. I don’t know how I managed to fully shower without passing out. I wore Kyle’s LA Kings hockey jersey and fell asleep the second my head hit the pillow.

          I woke up
in the morning
breathing in Kyle’s neck. He only had his silk boxers on. His arms
were
wrapped tightly
around
me and both of our legs tangled. I tried to
imagine
in my head how I
could
untangle
myself without
waking
him
up when
I felt his heartbeat accelerate
wildly against my chest. His breathing
became
shallow as his morning wood started to become evident against my inner thigh.
Shit, this sucks
.

     “Kyle?”
I whispered to him. H
e groaned in my hair. “I can feel your erection—feel like letting go of me now?
”
I said against his neck.

     “Never—I will never let go of you.” Uh! I have to get back to Chad. I tried to push myself off him but he wouldn’t release me. “I love this Sienna. Give me just a few more minutes. Let me cherish this moment for a few more.”

     “Fine
.
” I murmured.
I wouldn’t have relented if he wasn’t so supportive and took care of my well-being. It’s the least I could do,
compromise.

    
Not knowing what to do, I
gently traced the
tattoo on his arm, it was a beautiful design and it fitted him well.

   
“Can I kiss you?”
he
asked as he kissed my neck.

    
Oh, what the heck
. I am so not in the mood to be teased. “Kyle—maybe next time—I’ll think about it
,
but for now I need to get back to Chad.”

     “Think about that rain check
,
will you?” I gently slapped him in the head as he laughed
heartily
and released his hold of me. Men and their stupid hormones!
Seriously
.

      I ran to the bathroom
and showered. I
dressed with the clothes that Kyle packed for me
yesterday
. I didn’t want to miss any progress with Chad. Kyle dropped me off at the hospital and
I
hastily kissed his cheek. He
tried to capture my lips for a kiss
but I nudged his arm playfully.

     Kyle’s been a little aggressive with his antics lately. I can’t honestly accommodate that thought when my friend
was lying
lifeless in the hospital
bed
.

3

B
lake

     I was on my way out of the hospital when I saw her emerge from the cab with Matthews. They looked pretty intimate and I was frozen on the spot watching how the two exchanged their goodbyes.

    
Keep moving before she sees you, I told myself but I couldn’t. I haven’t seen her in a couple of months and my eyes were taking everything in. She’s walking towards the building with a huge smile on her face.

     Is she still in love with him? Did she always love him even when she was with me? Did she think of him while we were together?
Bloody fuck
, she probably did.

    
She’s obviously looking happy while I sat wi
th my own
bloodless
misery
. Every waking moment, I feel the loss of Sienna and she didn’t give a damn. I was convenient and
she
most likely used
me
to just get over her ex. Well, you did
pursue
her—
it’s
no one’
s fault but yours. R
esentment always creeps in and I’
m starting to hate her—really
,
scornfully
hate
her
.

     I stood frozen studying her face. She’s
wearing
a
black cotton long sleeve
d
top, black leggings and t
he very
same cowboy boots she wore that
wretched
day she confronted me about my engagement. My stomach recoiled thinking about that encounter.

    
Her hair’s still wet—obviously just out of the shower. Did she share it with Kyle?
Stop
,
i
t doesn’t matter. She doesn’t matter anymore.

    
When she finally saw me, she stopped and stared with her pretty mouth hanging ajar.

    
I stared at her beautiful face, hating and loving her at the same time. My jaw tightened thinking about her with another man. God knew I haven’t been celibate. I jumped at the nearest woman who opened her legs invitingly a day or two after she left for LA. But
fuck
, jealousy was
such a toxic emotion.

     “Blake,” her soft voice stammered. I caught her eyes wander
ing
all over me
,
stopp
ing
at my mouth.

     “Sienna,” I said through gritted teeth.
I hate you.

     “You’re uh—back early from Australia? Did you see Chad? How is he?” she p
ressed
her lips, looking anywhere but me.
     

     “I came here straight away after I landed couple hours ago
. I had to cram
some
meetings together to get here. There was another movement from Chad’s fingers and the doctor is hopeful. Lucy and Toby are upstairs.”