Authors: Elizabeth York
“Get away from me,” I shouted as I wiggled my arms forward to balance my weight when another gust came.
“I’ll go, but you and I are going to talk about us,” Kurt stated defensively with his hands up. I watched him walk through the door and had to sit down to catch my breath. I knew how to act the part of being a woman they loved for a single night, but Brooklyn was right I had to stop because men like him scare the hell out of me.
Thirty minutes passed and I knew he wasn’t coming back, so I sat down and leaned back on my elbows and stared out into the view. It took a little while for my pulse to slow and for my adrenaline to come down, but I wasn’t leaving until my mom was awake and I was ready to see her.
The surgery had taken so long that darkness had filled the sky and all that lingered was the famous New York sky line and a collection of stars above me. I had never noticed them before and wondered if it was a sign that I was noticing them now.
“Don’t jump,” Eddie called out from behind me as I sat up on the roof top edge of the hospital. I should have been on guard when he spoke like I was with Kurt, but instead the tone he used was soothing and annoying.
“What do you want?” I asked without turning to see him.
“The doctor came and told everyone to go home. Your mom isn’t waking up like they thought so they are going to move her to ICU for the night. He said you could come back in the morning and visit if she is better.”
I stood up and inched my way to the edge of the ledge to look down once more. The people down below were dressed in expensive clothes and trying to make their way back downtown. They would park here and walk so no one saw they were driving a Ford Focus instead of a Dodge Viper. I knew because a week ago I was one of them, and now I didn’t know what I was, but I knew things like that didn’t matter anymore.
“I can’t go home,” I whispered as I heard footsteps get closer.
“Are you going to be obdurate, and refuse to go home when you are fatigued?” Eddie asked and I nodded my head as the cold wind blew across my face. “Just like the rest of your family,” Eddie murmured as he came closer.
“My family is just like me because they made me who I am. Everyone except for Henry, he’s not family. I truly don’t know him or why he is here.”
“I don’t really know you, but I know that standing on the edge isn’t the answer,” Eddie spoke almost mono-toned almost as if he had been trained to talk people down.
“You delivered the message, you can go now,” I spoke up as his hand grabbed mine. I watched as he stood up on the edge of the building and looked down with me. “What the hell are you doing?”
“If you fall, I fall,” Eddie stated with confidence as if saying it set some kind of law. I watched his face, he must have been a great poker player because I couldn’t tell if he was faking it or not.
“You’re insane,” I replied. “I’m not going to fall.”
“If you jump, I jump,” Eddie replied and squeezed my hand to let me know he wasn’t leaving.
“You are crazy. If I run are you going to chase me?” I asked and a light grin spread across his face.
“I think I would.”
“Why would you think I was suicidal?” I asked and Eddie’s grin faded.
“I don’t think you are trying to die. I think you are dying to live. Let me take you somewhere to get some food,” Eddie spoke as the smell of incoming snow filled the crisp air.
“I can’t leave her. What if she needs me? What if she asks for me? What if she dies?” I instantly cried as I stepped off the edge and onto the blackened roof. Eddie came down with me and wrapped me into his warm embrace.
I held onto him like a life raft in the ocean. I knew my ship was sinking and I knew I needed to save myself, but I just couldn’t. I didn’t know why this man stayed at the hospital today, but as his arms wrapped around me I didn’t want him to be anywhere else.
“Listen to me for a minute,” Eddie stated as he pulled me back and forced me to look up at him. He wiped my tears with his thumbs and then his warm minty breath fell on my lips. “She is asleep; healing from surgery. She needs the time to regain her strength and so do you. If you see her like this now, you won’t be able to smile. You won’t be able to keep the tears away. Trust me when I tell you that taking a few hours to pull yourself together is okay.”
“Why do you care?” I asked as his lips hovered over mine. My breathing hitched as I expected him to kiss me, but instead he whispered.
“I’m not sure why I care. I don’t know why I want to be here with you. I don’t even know you, but something tells me you are my second chance.”
“Your second chance?” I asked as his lips moved closer to mine. I shivered with the thought he was going to kiss me, and licked my lips. My heart raced, and my palms grew sweaty. I wanted him to kiss me.
“A second chance to save someone worth saving,” Eddie replied and then his warm lips fell on mine.
His kiss surprised me, even though I was expecting it. I had only been kissed hard and fast, but he was soft, soothing, and everything I needed. The way he tilted his head, and wrapped me in his arms left tingles everywhere as all my stress, heartache, and worries all got poured into the kiss. I emptied it onto him and he took it and gave me back warmth, comfort, and care.
I had never been kissed like this before, and wanted more. He didn’t push to get inside me. This wasn’t a race to get naked. He just allowed me to have the intimacy I needed at a speed that worked for me and everything I was dealing with. I opened and pushed my tongue into his mouth only for him to take control of the kiss back. I needed him to do more. I needed a fix, and holy hell he would do.
Oh fuck, I liked him a lot.
“I can’t,” I whispered breathlessly as I pushed him away. I wanted so desperately to deepen the kiss into something else, but men were one of my vices. My body and brain went to war over my need to use him to cope. I knew I wanted to, but I guess I had grown up over night because I didn’t want that added stress in the morning. The cons outweighed the pros and I had to push him away.
“Come with me,” Eddie stated as he held out his hand and I reluctantly took it. We walked inside the hospital and I was sure he was going to make me leave. I was preparing for a fight to stay, but instead of hitting the stairwell door he took me down the hall. My brain did a complete one-eighty and was no longer wanting to fight him.
A few twists and turns later we were inside some kind of break room. Eddie walked inside the cream colored room and pushed the tables till they were along the walls. The wooden tables had the ugliest orange chairs I had ever seen. They reminded me of prison jumpsuits, which made me a little more anxious because I knew we were not supposed to be in here.
“Don’t leave,” Eddie whispered and walked out the door. I walked around barely focusing on the environment. Instead, I stared at the clock, as the evilness of time reminded me that we never had enough. The frozen hands didn’t move on the clock, but the world around me revolved quickly. In the last twenty-four hours there were lots of moments like this where I struggled to breathe, but I had to force myself to keep going.
“You okay,” Eddie spoke up and I jumped. I hadn’t even heard him walk back in the room. I turned to see he had emergency candles lit on the counter and glow sticks standing on the tables.
“I didn’t hear you,” I admitted and then looked around him to see a familiar face.
“Hi, nurse Kelly,” I whispered as her and another nurse rolled in with a large laundry bin filled with blanket and pillows.
“Hello Kate,” she replied and looked at Eddie. "You know where these go when you are done. Do not get caught in here.”
I looked back at Eddie with confusion as the nurses exited and he took off his leather jacket that fit him in a way the suit and tie didn’t. I then looked up at the unmoving clock to see it had been forty minutes since we stepped in here and I began to stare at it. I snapped my attention back to Eddie when he turned off the lights.
“What are you doing?” I ask and Eddie kneeled on the stacks of blankets that made a pad to sleep on, and took my hand. I kneeled down with him and he took off my jacket. I started planning my escape.
I was not having sex with him.
“Come down here, and lay with me,” Eddie spoke softly and I did as he asked. I was still not having sex with him, but something in his voice made me want to do everything he said. I think I know how drug addicts feel because my score was right here, but yet it was agonizing to say no.
“What are we doing down here? Why are you here?” I nervously asked.
“We are not having sex,” Eddie replied and I was suddenly disappointed.
“Why did you bring that up?”
“Your heart is racing, and your skin is completely flushed. Your chest and cheeks have a blemish of color that normally comes from being aroused. That would be why I brought it up, but you also stare at the clock and chew on your fingers. This tells me you are impatient, worried, and scared. I know you have a lot going on, so I wanted to ease your mind. Lay down with me and look up.”
I did as he asked and saw that we were lying under a skylight. With the lights out I could still see some of the stars and didn’t have the cold chill from the wintery air.
“Why are you here?” I asked again in a softened tone as I snuggled against him.
“You didn’t want to leave, and I wanted everyone to think I was successful in talking you in to going home and getting some rest so they would go get some rest. It’s a win-win.”
“You are hiding me?” I asked and he smiled.
“Only for a little while,” he replied and I was fine with that. If hiding me meant that Brooklyn and Mike went home and rested, then I was okay with that. Oh hell, Brooklyn was going to think I was sleeping with him because I wasn’t at the apartment.
My brain started to race with all things sexual and my breathing sped up. I had zero control, it was all in his hands. I was in his hands. I looked up into his eyes and expected him to kiss me, but instead Eddie tugged me closer to him, and I laid my head on the crook of his shoulder.
“I promise to be a total gentleman tonight. So, if that is what has your pulse up, relax. Take a deep breath, because whatever it is will work itself out.”
“I don’t know you,” I replied with a hint of unease.
“Tell me what you want to know?”
“Are you planning to meet my mom?” I asked and he shook his head.
“I don’t do this, Kate. I don’t get involved with sick people anymore. I don’t even completely understand why I want to be here with you.”
“I’m glad you stayed. It was great for Mike to have another friendly face there,” I whispered against his chest as the ticking of the clock drew my attention.
“How do you know Henry Huntington?” He asked and I took a deep breath.
“I don’t want to talk about him.”
“What do you want to talk about?” Eddie asked as he toyed with the blond strands of my hair. I inhaled him, his scent, his strength, and everything about him. He seemed so strong and sturdy. Like he knew what he wanted from life, but still allowed fate to give him the occasional curve ball.
“I called you an ass-hat,” I whispered and I could feel him chuckle quietly.
“You did, and I am still awaiting my apology.”
“Keep waiting. I think I like you being around,” As soon as the words left my lips I wanted to call them back.
Step one of a twelve step program should be to get rid of the things you are addicted to. I had done the complete opposite and told him to stick around. I am an idiot. I would wind up fucking this guy, walking away, and hurting him because something inside me says this whole bonding thing is insane because we just met, but some part of me thought he might actually care.
The silence fell and I wondered what I had done to get someone so sincere in my life at a time when I needed it. No man just did things like this without a reward. Maybe that is what it is, he is waiting for his prize, but walked in at a time where it would be unacceptable to give it to him. Maybe it was from the candle at the church that I lit not only in hopes of saving my mom, but to save me too.
My brain spiraled with the what ifs while he held me tightly and allowed me to go internally insane. I clinched my eyes tight and forced everything swirling in my head to stop. I just wanted to be with him for a while. I hadn’t been cuddled by any man this way and wanted to enjoy it.