Charlotte's Tangled Web: L.B. Pavlov (30 page)

I hoped that she would just agree and I wouldn’t have to lie to her or make something horrible up in order to get her to go. I fell asleep after hours of arguing with myself and slept most of Sunday away. I was depressed, and every bone in my body ached. I was dreading Monday. I couldn’t dismiss the thought that Charlotte and I would now be separated within a week.

Not being able to talk to her was very difficult, especially with all that was going on. I definitely couldn’t go near the tree now, and I was still in shock that Jack Sr. was aware of it. All of it was enough to make me want to sleep for a very long time.

I was beside myself. My dad had lost his mind. I had no way to contact Daniel, and my heart was heavy. I didn’t know if he was mad at me about my decision to go to Notre Dame or if he was happy. I was so sad that he didn’t climb the tree to see me. It made me feel like maybe he wasn’t happy about my news. Maybe he didn’t want me to go to Notre Dame with him. My dad hadn’t spoken to me since our fight the night before. I had no idea what was going on, and it was already Sunday afternoon.

My brothers had stayed away. They had peeked in my room this morning and said an unusually fast good-bye. When they hugged me, I felt like they were scared for me, as if they were trying to warn me in some way. Was something bad going to happen? Could my dad stop me from going to Notre Dame? Would he really do that if he knew it was what I wanted? Lenora had brought some toast and fruit up to me. She was also very quiet when she came in, almost on edge. Dad sure had everyone walking on eggshells. I needed to see Daniel. He was the one person who would be on my side.

There was a knock at my door. I hoped it was my dad returning my phone and computer. “Come in,” I said quietly.

It was my father, but he didn’t look any friendlier than he did the night before. He pulled out my desk chair to sit down and turned it to face me.

“Good morning, Charlotte,” he said intensely.

“Good morning, Dad,” I said with no emotion. I felt like he was about to drop a bomb on me.

“Well, I have done a lot of thinking since last night, and I want to let you know what is going to happen now.” He continued, “I’m hoping that you accept this and that you don’t fight me on it because I am doing what is best for you. And when you are a parent one day you will understand that.”

His word choice alluded to the fact that what he was about to say was not what I wanted to hear, but he was basically letting me know that I had no choice. But I had Daniel, and I would run away with him if I had to. So bring it on, Dad, I thought “OK, Charlotte, what you did by applying to Notre Dame was wrong. Going behind my back and Coach Little’s back was selfish and immature. You were wrong. Period. You have a full-ride, four-year scholarship to Stanford University and that is where you are going to attend college. You will not disgrace your mother’s name by breaking a contract with her university.” He paused to observe my reaction.

Oh no you didn’t just go there, Jack Ford!
Did he really just use my deceased mother to win his battle? He was going to fight dirty. It was time to take the gloves off and prepare for battle. My brothers and Lenora were trying to warn me. My dad was out of control.

“Go on,” I said, positioning myself to take in all of his hurtful words.

He was clearly expecting tears and apologies already, but he would be waiting a long time—or so I thought. “So you will attend Stanford University, but you will be leaving much sooner than you anticipated. You will leave one week from today. Coach Little and I have spoken, and he has arranged your housing to be available sooner rather than later. You will train with your team all summer as I should have insisted on from the beginning. But as you pointed out last night, I have been an absent father for a while—I believe you said I had actually been an absent father for the past thirteen years. But guess what, Charlotte, I’m not absent anymore. I am going to be present every minute of every day until next Sunday. You will attend your graduation, and then you will leave Sunday morning for Northern California. Jack is going to come home and fly with you to California and help you get settled. I have a moving truck arriving here on Saturday afternoon to take your car and all of your boxes for you. They will arrive in California on Monday or Tuesday. Your graduation party has been canceled as well. You have not given us any reason to celebrate with your recent choices. Lenora will spend the week packing you up. If you have any particular things you want her to pick up from the store, you will make her a list. You are not to leave this house for anything with the exception of school. I will allow you to attend school this week, but Lenora or I will take you to and from school each day, and then you are to come home. You will run each day only on the treadmill. You are not to run outside until you are in California. Am I clear?” he said, and his eyes, boring into mine, were filled with power and ugliness. I had never seen my father like this.

“Who are you? What’s wrong with you, Dad?” I said as desperate weeping sounds escaped my throat. I wiped my tears and searched his eyes for a shred of familiarity. He did not move in any way to comfort me.

“Do you understand me, Charlotte?” he said again in an unrelenting tone.

“I don’t want to leave Sunday, Dad. Please, please don’t do this. Please let me talk to Daniel, Dad, I’m begging you. I will do what you want, I will go to Stanford if you just let me talk to him,” I said hysterically.

“I have spoken to Daniel for you, Charlotte. He agrees with this plan. He feels that you need to go to Stanford as well, and you both need to spread your wings on your own this year. Daniel was quite pleased with this arrangement,” he said coldly, looking into my eyes for a reaction.

“You are a liar! He would never say that!” I said, bursting into rage-filled tears. “Why are you trying to hurt me, Dad? Because I don’t want to go to the same school that Mom went to? Do you really think that Mom would care? Why don’t you read her journals so that you can remind yourself what kind of person Mom was? Because she was everything that you are not!” I spat, venom dripping from my lips.

“Are you finished?” he asked calmly.

“No! Do you know what the very last thing that Mom wrote in her journal was before she died? The afternoon before she died, she wrote a journal entry. Guess what it said, Dad? It said that she only wished she had more time to be with the people that she loved. More time with her four children and her loving husband. More time to love them. Guess what, Dad? There was no mention of what college she wanted us to attend in her final words. There was no mention of the Olympics. There was no mention of running at all because that is not what life is about. Why don’t you take five minutes out of your life and read them!” I shouted angrily.

“OK, Charlotte, we are done here. I will return your phone and computer to you before you leave for California. If you need a computer for school this week, you will use mine in the office. I will track every single place you go on it so don’t consider doing anything outside of schoolwork. I have also closed your checking account—I am a signer on it because it was opened before you were eighteen years old. Your trust fund has also been frozen as of this morning. I spoke to your grandfather last night.” He glared at me with eyes that were now empty.

My dad was void of all emotion. He had won. The only chance I had of doing what I wanted rested solely on Daniel. He would be the only person who could help me. Had Dad really spoken to him? Would Daniel really turn against me? I had to wait to see him at school the next day to find out what was going on.

I heard a loud noise outside my window. I stared at my dad as he put my chair back and walked toward the door, and he motioned me to look out the window. There was a crew of men, and they were cutting down the tree that had stood outside my bedroom window for the past thirteen years. He was actually cutting me off completely from Daniel. The only shred of evidence left of the tree would be the dangling tree on my charm bracelet.

Dad looked right at me. “That was just in case you or your boyfriend got any ideas. You have really disappointed me, Charlotte,” he said flatly.

“You have really disappointed me too, Dad,” I said bitterly.

He walked out of my room, and I closed my curtains. I got out my CD of Daniel reading me
Charlotte’s Web
, and I climbed into bed to listen. I just needed to hear his voice. I closed my eyes tightly, trying to think back to how happy I was just twenty-four hours ago. I didn’t allow my eyes to open and deal with reality again until morning.

I dressed in my uniform and walked downstairs for breakfast. Dad was sitting at the table reading the paper. He did not look up at me. Lenora looked at me, and her eyes told me how sorry she was. I wanted to burst into tears and jump into her warm arms, but I didn’t dare do anything in front of my father right now.

“Are you hungry?” Lenora asked quietly.

“No, thank you though,” I said softly.

“Charlotte, you went to bed without lunch or dinner yesterday,” she said, concerned.

My dad looked up from his newspaper. “You won’t be any good to Stanford if you don’t eat,” he said coldly.

I took a piece of toast off of the table, and I ate it slowly. I felt like an outsider in my home. I wondered how I could have people around me yet feel so utterly alone?

“I am driving you to school today, are you ready?” he asked in a blasé tone.

“Yes,” I responded in a monotone. All of my emotion had been used up. I had nothing left to say to my dad.

I noticed that Daniel’s truck was already gone and that my father checked the Hollingsworth driveway as well. As we pulled out of our driveway, I looked at the stump in my front yard. It was all that remained of the beautiful tree that had led to so many happy memories for me.

I felt my eyes again fill with tears, but I pushed them away. I hoped that Daniel would have a plan to fix everything. He had always been the one person whom I could count on, and I knew he would have this all figured out when I saw him. When we pulled up to school, I didn’t look over at my father. I just opened my door and stepped out. We no longer had anything to say to one another.

I spotted him right away, sitting by the gym. He was waiting for me. Thank goodness. I knew he would have this figured out. I ran to him like I was running toward a finish line. But as I approached him, his reception was not what I was expecting. I felt a sick feeling come over me.

.

chapter
14

darkness

I saw her running toward me, and I felt a jolt through my entire body. I was going to have to reject her. That was the only way she would listen to me. She came up and dropped her backpack at my feet, and she tried to hug me. I barely hugged her back because I couldn’t allow myself too much contact. I would never have been able to follow through with the plan if I had allowed her to touch me or to kiss me. I looked down at her, and her eyes looked so hurt, so lost, and so sad. I hated that I couldn’t fix the situation. I had spent two days trying to find a way to make it work, and there were no options.

“Daniel, what’s wrong?” she asked, sitting down to face me.

“We need to talk,” I stated.

“Yes, I agree,” she said, touching my face. “Daniel, my dad has lost his mind. He is being so awful to me. He hates me for what I did. He doesn’t understand that I want to be with you. You have to help me fix this. Please, Daniel,” she said desperately.

I wanted to grab her in my arms right there and tell her to come stay at my house with my family. I wanted to tell her to tell her dad to go to hell. I wanted to tell her how happy I was that she would come to Notre Dame with me. But that was exactly what she would have done: thrown everything away to be with me. I grabbed hold of her hand and pulled it from my face. That simple contact was making me weak. I placed her hand in her own lap and moved my hand away. In one simple movement, I had extinguished any hope she had left. I felt my stomach wrench.

“Charlotte, listen to me. You should not be going to Notre Dame. You need to go to Stanford. You worked so hard, and now you’re going to throw it all away? For what?” I asked, looking into her mesmerizingly beautiful, dark-brown eyes.