Charley (12 page)

I finally stood in the doorway and gazed at the magnificent body in my bed. The soft summer sun cast shadows over his body. There was my dream man!

Admittedly, my feelings for him were primarily lust, but I couldn’t help thinking. ‘Wouldn’t it be great if I could just love him and he love me?’

I really don’t care what my feelings are now; I just want to make love to him …!

I tiptoed around my naked man, feasting my eyes on his delicious body. He was lying on his back, with his right leg tucked under his left. I wanted to poke his body and see if it was real, but I resisted.

I started taking inventory. First thing was that he wasn’t particularly hairy. Certainly his lower arms had hair, but not too thick, and likewise his legs had a light coating. There was a bit more hair on his chest that began just above each nipple, congregated in the middle and travelled down his stomach, ending at his crotch. His tanned body had relatively little body fat. He obviously worked out, as his arm muscles showed good definition and obvious signs of weight lifting. His abs were not six-pack ripped but were far from flabby. He was a basketball coach after all and probably worked out with his players and the other coaches.

And, of course, there was his manhood. It lay to the side, a deep red, almost maroon color and surprisingly wrinkly like a pair of panty hose that had been bunched down around the ankles. I could tell he was circumcised, because the tip of his penis stuck out slightly from a small roll of skin, looking strangely like an acorn, all domed with a ring of tufted skin around it.

I was sitting on the edge of the bed so engrossed with his entire body that I was startled when I felt him stirring. I turned to him and smiled. “Good morning.”

PJ looked down his chest at me inspecting his nether region. He grinned and said playfully. “What’s so funny? Haven’t you ever seen a worn out dick in need of revival? Think you can help him along?”

“Looks like I already brought him back to life. I was going to give him mouth to mouth resuscitation if he hadn’t woken up so fast.”

“Maybe he should go back to sleep instead!”

I laughed and replied playfully. “Maybe later. Come see me.”

I crawled up his body and lay my head on his chest breathing the manly aroma hiding in the follicles of his hair. PJ held my head tightly to him. PJ was no longer a dream, he was very real. And I knew what I wanted. No more doubts, no more concerns about Randle, no more reasons to hesitate, no more teasing, no more flirting. This is the time!

I hope you’re good!

For the next 5 minutes or maybe 10 minutes or maybe an hour, I don’t have any idea, PJ and I connected beyond my wildest expectations! He was good and I was good and it was very good! I really cannot explain what made it so wonderful. He was gentle and he was rough, he was sweet and he was raw; but through it all I knew PJ was more concerned with my pleasure than his own. You can tell when a man is self-centered in loving making, because it becomes all about him and his pleasure and ultimately about his climax. But PJ was different; he seemed hell bent on being sure that I was satisfied. When it was over, he made sure we both climaxed together.

Our primal screams of pure pleasure lasted maybe fifteen seconds, but it seemed forever. The screams finally turned to laughter and we collapsed in a tangled mass of arms, legs and hair, each panting and gasping for air. I buried my face into his chest and he wrapped me up in those long strong arms and held me, gently stroking my hair and brushing it back from my face. He lightly rubbed my back and caressed my face. Our combined aroma filled the room with a sweetness that totally affirmed our ecstatic love making …

The peace I was feeling was now overwhelming. With his arms snuggly wrapped around me, I felt at one with this man. It was as if we had always been together and had always loved each other. I was not willing to move and neither was PJ. We stayed this way for a long time while we absorbed each other. The overhead fan cooled our bodies, but not our emotions.

“You don’t know how much I needed that,” I whispered.

“You really got carried away, didn’t you?”

“I’ve been down so long; I thought I was about to explode.” I laughed gently. “I guess you did make me explode.” I paused and continued. “I don’t know about you, but that was a fantastic ride for me. You ready to go again?” I laughed again, only louder.

“Told you it would be better in bed than in that old musty booth,” he replied and paused. Finally he smiled and continued. “But you’ll have to give me a few minutes to recover. Then … maybe … Okay …probably!”

We carried on lying there, stacked like two logs wrapped tightly together. Once some semblance of normal breathing returned, I rolled off to the side. I didn’t roll far before his strong arms had wrapped around me and pulled me to him. What really mattered were our gentle kisses and soft caresses, and lying in bed holding each other tightly, enjoying our oneness and the ambience of our lovemaking. 

I broke the silence. “PJ, I think I could fall in love with you!”

What did I say? No, No, I take it back! Could I? I mean it is possible, isn’t it? You’re not supposed to say that! Not now!

My emotions were so conflicted. I couldn’t help it nor could I hold back the tears. The sobs were quiet at first, before bursting out fully. I was embarrassed and happy, and sad and confused, all together and all at once. It had been so long since I had told anyone that.

PJ didn’t acknowledge my verbal slip.  Maybe he didn’t hear it, or maybe he didn’t think it was sincere. Or maybe he didn’t feel the same and was so wrapped up in the sex he didn’t care. But he did respond to my tears. I was sobbing uncontrollably and rolled away from PJ. I was trying to stop, dabbing my eyes with the bed sheet, and covering my head so he wouldn’t see me cry.

The bed moved and I felt a heavy arm reach across my body, grasp my shoulders and pull me onto my side. The softest of hands reached for my face, and gently wiped away the tears.

I felt PJ leaning over me and his warm breath on my face. With a dozen kisses, he soothed me, kissing my closed eyes and the tears on my cheeks. He pulled me to his chest and gently rocked our bodies, all the time singing an old tune. ‘
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine; you make me happy when skies are gray; you’ll never know dear how much I love you … please don’t take … my sunshine …away.
’

His deep voice made the song resonate; not loud, not fast, not cutesy, but just sweet … a real sweet lullaby. 

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I think so.” I whispered back.

“What happened?”

I really didn’t know what to say and blubbered out. “I don’t know.”

Of course I know! I felt I had found someone to love. You make me so comfortable. I can be me with you …

I kept talking when I knew I should shut up. “It’s been too long since I’ve been with someone who was more concerned with me than with himself. I guess, I just … I mean, I felt … PJ, I feel good with you.” I looked up. “Does that make any sense?”

“Of course, it does.”

He didn’t say anything else. He just closed his eyes and pulled me to him.

Come on, don’t clam up here. I just bared my soul to you. You got nothing to say? How do you feel about me? Come on … please. Just like a man … I screwed up didn’t I. Damn!

We lay on our backs in bed staring at the ceiling fan. The breeze was refreshing on our sweaty bodies. My mind was clear and the comfort level was back up. My lover had turned into my friend again. “Let’s do something today. Want to go to Church this morning?”

“I would love to go with you.” PJ replied and didn’t hesitate.

Good I’ll get to see him in the daylight.

Hand in hand, we walked to the shower room. I turned on the shower to let some steam build in the room. “Get us some towels and wash cloths out of the cabinet.”

When PJ returned, he joined me in the hot shower. I couldn’t help but notice his manhood was taking in all my nakedness and was beginning to respond again. We both laughed at the involuntary action.

PJ then joked. “Please pardon Richard; he doesn’t know how to act in polite mixed company.”

I laughed and immediately said to PJ. “Come on in, the water feels great.”

The water flowed over PJ’s head and down his body. My back was turned away from him when I heard a loud shriek. I turned around in time to see PJ reaching for his manhood and bent over in obvious pain. PJ stepped, in fact almost fell out of the shower.

“Dang, that water is killing me. You worked me over pretty good.”

I looked at his penis. It was a bright red. I could see small scratches along its full length. “Looks red, I bet it hurts. Poor baby, I’ll get you something.” I rushed to the medicine cabinet to find something for scratches. All I could find was some cortisone. “Here let me make it all better. Do you want me to kiss it?” I was having fun again teasing him. “You be careful next time.”

“Me, be careful?”

“You know it was worth it, now be still, you big baby.”

“Thanks. Better let it heal. Maybe next time. Deal tiger?”

He said next time; I wonder when and how. Do I want a next time? Hell yes! I carried on washing my hair, while he gently dabbed around his wounded warrior.

PJ put on his clothes from last night and asked. “Charley, you get dressed. I’m going to the hotel and get my bags. Pick me up in front, okay?”

And he was gone.

When I heard the door close, I had the strangest feeling. It was like a balloon deflating. I was on an emotional high and suddenly the door had slammed shut and my balloon burst wide open. I just had fantastic sex with a man I didn’t really know. I thought I loved him.

The truth is I don’t really know how I felt about him.

I finished dressing and went around the back for the SUV. As I drove up Second Avenue to park in front of the Summit, my mind was working overtime. I wavered; I was ready to enjoy our physical relationship and be happy for the weekend. I mean he was great in bed and I sure needed some amazing sex. But he was also a fantastic guy, considerate and easy to talk to. I could see us together for a long time. But I’ve felt this way before and it hadn’t worked out. Maybe I better just enjoy him while I can, but I sure wish I could enjoy him longer. I don’t know …

There was a rap on the door and his familiar voice boomed out. “Hey girl, open the trunk so I can get this gear in.” He put his bags in the trunk and got in the passenger’s side. “What were you daydreaming about? Not sleepy are you?”

“No, just thinking how wonderful you are.”

“Right,” he laughed. “Let’s get to church then so you can ask for forgiveness.”

I smiled at him and said. “Got you a sweet roll and some orange juice.”

I go to the First Community Church, not far from Jimmy’s. I drove past my condo building. 

“That’s where I live,” I explained. “We can come back there later.”

“What about the apartment over the Bar?”

“The apartment is a holdover from the old days when Jimmy’s Bar was both home and work for Jimmy and his wife.  I only use it if I’m working late, or just don’t want to go home alone. I haven’t invited any man to my bedroom in that apartment since Randle died. It’s always been my solitude away from the world, and I’ve kept it that way until you came along. I’m glad you were the first to be invited in.”

“Well technically, Wilma and Ronnie invited me to spend the night. But that’s still quite a compliment, thanks.”

“Here, I was trying to be sexy and you break the spell with technicalities … not cool.” I replied, laughing.

“Sorry about that. Regardless, I do appreciate the honor.”

We parked, entered the church and sat in the center section about midway.

“Everyone knows you, don’t they?”PJ remarked curiously.

“I do a lot of charity work with some of them and I’ve been a member here since I was a young girl.”

PJ then commented about something that had never crossed my mind. “I noticed everyone knows you … but no one calls you Charley. It’s always Charlotte or Ms. Howard. That’s sort of strange.”

I really didn’t know what to say. “Yes, suppose it is,” was all that seemed to fit.               

The music was exceptional.

Our preacher, Pastor John Richards, is a gifted public speaker. Today was no exception. His sermon was based on Samuel 16:1-13 and I was particularly taken by the passage in verse 7. ‘…
The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.
’

This was straight to the point for me. I needed to see
his
heart! Certainly sex was fantastic with PJ and the lust for more sex with him was pretty high on my list of things to do. But I had to know there was more there than fantastic sex.

We held hands in Church, something I hadn’t done since I was a teenager in love with Bobby Wagner. When Pastor John read the passage from Samuel, I felt PJ squeeze my hand slightly. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was thinking the same about me.

I knew a lot about him of course, but it was all superficial stuff relating to his basketball and coaching careers, things on the outside. Now that I’d met him, and my dream fantasies had been realized, I needed to see if there was anything beyond the awesome sex. How was he as a person? Was there any substance to him? Could I love him for the sake of love? And so, I returned his slight hand squeeze when Pastor John read, ‘…
but God looks at the heart
.’

In the quietness of my mind, I wondered. Is there a chance to turn this weekend’s lust into love, and will it be worth the effort?

I tossed PJ the keys as we left the church, and we headed north on Douglas Ave. “Do you want anything to eat while we’re out?”

“I think I’d like to just order a pizza and spend the day inside. It will give us some time to talk.”