Charity's Secrets
Authors: Maya James
Charity’s Secrets
By Maya James
Copyright
© 2013 Maya James
All
rights reserved
Charity’s Secrets is a work of
fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the
author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual
persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Table of
Contents
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Acknowledgements
A
special thank you to those that beta read and edited Charity’s Secrets. Each of
you is absolutely wonderful and I am so grateful.
Thank
you Warriors! You are the best!
Becky
Paprota-Martindell
Miranda
Sue Johnson
Lynn
Chambers
Crystal
Marie, Little House of Edits
Another special thank
you to Robin Harper at Wicked by Design for the cover work.
"
T
he way I see it, you have two choices.
You can live with it, or you can live without it." John looks at me and I
can already see the sarcastic smile in his eyes. "And I don't believe for
a second that you can really live without her, now that you found her."
One
single clap of his thunderous laughter echoed in the room while I keep my eyes
fixed on Sylvester. The Panther hologram bared its teeth at John and I wanted
to thank it for its impeccable timing.
I
hate when he's right!
"I
know what the problem is," John continued. "You're too used to
reading everyone; you know what people are going to do before they know it, but
not her. It's one of the things you love about her. You can't read her for
shit. The more you love her, the more you can't read her, which makes you love
her more."
Fuck!
"Get
used to it, JP. It's called love, and she's the real deal." With that, he
walked out of my office, closing the door behind him.
Of
course, everything he said was right. These months with Charity have been the
best of my life, and somehow I love her more now than when we started. There
needs to be more hours in a day so that I can spend them with her. I cannot get
enough.
At this
point, I live to make her happy. I can never see her too much, especially
undressed. Making her happy fills my heart and making her cum fills my hunger. Charity
is all that I will ever need.
I can understand
my father more now. If he felt for my mother anything close to what I feel for
Charity—I would rather die than to be without her!
Having
these emotions is scary as hell for me. I'm on a completely new ground, and
it's near impossible to know for sure what is real and what is fantasy. More
importantly—what parts are paranoia?
I wish
my father was here, I could really use him right now for advice.
Maybe
it's normal, but when I'm not with her I'm a complete wreck; worried about her,
about what she's doing. I mentioned that to John, hence his wonderful advice
before leaving my office. There's more to it than that, but after John's
reaction, I'm not about to tell him the rest.
I track
her when we're not together. It sounds worse than it is, like I'm some stalker,
but it's only to know she's safe. What I do, what my group does, it is
dangerous. I never gave a shit about that before, but with Charity in my life I
can't be so careless.
I
don't know what I'd do if she got hurt because of me!
John
was right, she is the real deal. Most people never find it, but we have, and I
need to protect it. Doing that might be driving me insane, but she’s worth it.
There
are times when Charity drops off my grid, and I have no idea why. Once or
twice, I wouldn't think about it, but it is more often than that. And I can't
ask Lena to help, because sometimes Lena is with her when it happens. Part of
me thinks they are up to something.
Fucking
paranoid!
Any
other time I could tell you exactly what was going on but,
honestly
, I
don't have a fucking clue what she’s doing when she disappears.
It's
not another man; I'm confident of that. We are way too into each other, and
Lena would never be a part of something like that. It could be that I'm just
too used to dealing with people that have something to hide and maybe now I
just look for it everywhere.
Sylvester
suddenly looks over at me as if to tell me to grow a pair.
C'mon Man, if it
was anything important, they would hide it better— especially Lena!
They
are at Silk, putting cucumbers on their eyes and smearing avocado all over
their bodies, or some shit like that. They're not planning a corporate takeover
for Christ's sake.
It isn't
be about what they're doing; it's about protecting them. It's about who can see
them when I can't.
And
that thought sends a chill to my core. In no uncertain terms, I would throw
myself in front of a bullet save her, but you have to be there when the gun is
fired for that to work.
This
business with Scott Lewis, it's going to get heated, and every one of us will
be at some risk. The moment Senator Wilkins "resigned," the governor
was forced to appoint a temporary replacement. Of course that was Scott Lewis,
the result of the right pressure in the right places. Since this is temporary,
it wasn't as hard as it could have been. With the normal election term still
almost two years away, we have a much better opportunity. If it were any sooner,
the temporary replacement would sit until the general election, and we would be
facing the normal election process. Because it wasn't close, it has to be
decided by special election—much easier to fix.
That's
going to happen in three days and it's going to happen our way, but not
everyone is happy about it. One of the members in this one particular group of
clients was approached about starting a new group of controllers looking to get
behind a candidate of their own. Of course, they have no idea he's already
affiliated, and that he came straight back to our group with the information.
We know about them, but they don't know about us, at least not who we are—not
yet.
I'm not
worried, not about the special election. They don't have the time to form and
unravel everything that is already in place. They must know that, so why are
they still forming?
They're
thinking long term, and we need to start doing the same thing.
A fight
is coming our way and we need to start getting ready for it. That means Charity
and Lena can't be just dropping off radar whenever they want to.
In my
mind, I easily remember watching Charity's ex sitting in the driver's seat of
his car, his face lit up white in our headlights as he decided his next move. Charity
was right behind him, defenseless. I could see her, we all could.
His
eyes told me exactly what he was going to do. There was nothing I could do to
stop him—no time. It was less than a second, but it took an eternity, still
does when I think about it.
It was
his smile that told me. Then his right arm jerked. There was muzzle flare and
smoke, and a hole in the sheet wrapped tightly around Charity while the gunshot
was still echoing into the empty night.
Christ!
The look in her eyes!
Something
happened that I never told anyone about, not then, and still not now. It was
just instinctive. I hadn't even realized I'd done it until I was making my
decision.
In that
moment, I had thought I lost her, that he'd killed her, my love, right in front
of me. I quickly realized that she could survive this, and that I wanted to see
him die if she didn't—but that was not before first deciding that I couldn't
live without her and finding that I already had my gun shoved under my own
chin.
Everyone
was firing already, they knew what to do. No one saw how close to killing
myself I had come.
And
that's why I have to keep her safe now. Her life controls both of our fates.
I have
to watch her, everything she does, because I adore her. Without Charity, there
would be nothing left in this life to adore. She's all I have and want, and I
have to protect her at all costs.
Even
if it’s from myself!
I
"
T
his is not something I say often to
another woman, but your hands are amazing."
I made
everyone in the room laugh, not just the girls massaging our feet before our
pedicures, but Lena as well. It was one of her deep, genuine laughs, and that
tells me that maybe she's not as nervous as she looks.
I
really
don't like it when Lena is nervous!
When the
manager, Anna, had led us down the hallway in our bathrobes earlier, she had
forewarned us that one of the girls, Uta, was new. She comes highly
recommended, but her name made me nervous, causing visions of a six foot German
female bodybuilder. I was wrong, of course, Uta turned out to be a petite,
pretty little thing.
Her
hands are bionic, though.
Even
then, in the bright hallway smelling of lavender before we came in with Anna,
Lena was not herself. This had me completely second guessing my decision, the
reason we are here. I asked her to come this time, making the reservation
myself, but maybe I don't know what the hell I'm doing even more than I
suspect.
"Feeling
better?" I ask as I hope for a positive reply.
Lena
shrugs, "Not really."
What?
What is it for Christ's sake?
"Why
don't you just spit it out then? You're freaking me out a little more than
usual."
She
laughed again, even bigger this time. "Thanks! Thank you for that,"
she says.
I'm laughing
as I continue, "Well, really now, what's the matter? Something is
bothering you because you haven't been right all morning."
Uta's
wonderful hands switch to my other, very jealous, foot.
"Have
you made a decision—about his mother?" Lena asks, her eyes barely dance
over me.
"I
have." My voice is not nearly as strong as I had intended. Lena is the one
that suggested I find Justin’s mother. It could be life altering for him to
learn why she left and never came back, not even after his father killed himself,
but now Lena seems to have changed her mind.
She
sighed, but it was only to calm her own nerves. "You're going to find
her?" she asks.
"Yes."
I let
her sit with that for a couple minutes, while I battle with my new self-doubt.