Chardonnay: A Novel (26 page)

My eyes widened with admission to his thoughts aloud. I looked him
over and wondered how women couldn’t be so pensive to his charm, overlooking it
for the money. I was beginning to wonder why Jase hadn’t been tied down yet as
well.

 
“Chardonnay—before you came
along I hadn’t slept with a woman in a year.” he said as his English danced
with his foreign language. That statement made me listen more coherently to him
instead putting my guard up.

“I don’t know why you...but I saw something in you more than words
can say. Even with your problems and all, you have a passion for
life
in
your heart.”

A knock came at the glass door of the patio and Jase and I looked
to see who was standing in the door way. It was his butler.

“Excuez moi monsieur.”

Jase walked towards him and began to hold a conversation I couldn’t
comprehend. I listened on as I continued sipping on the tea.
 

“Wei?” Jase inquired.

“Avez-vous besoin
de
 
toute
autre chose Monsieur
Vonseigneur?”

“Merci Neate. Veuillez avoir nos choses envoyees pour la pousse
de
 
photo
demain.”

When I pulled my cell phone out my purse, an envelope fell out my
bag. I picked it up and saw that my grandfather’s letter had somehow gotten
mixed in with my huge purse instead of my luggage. I had been looking over that
letter the entire time I was packing. It hit me that my mother told me it was
written in Creole. I looked over at Jase as he continued speaking with his
butler.

“Nous patrons pour notre vol mercredi.” Jase finished up with and
then his butler was gone.

He turned to look at me as I held the brown edged letter in my
hand.

“What was that about?” I asked.

“He wanted to know if we needed anything else. I just told him
that we would need our things sent for the photo shoot and that our flight
would leave for Wednesday.”

I nodded my head, “What you got there?” Jase asked has he looked
down into my distant face.

 
“Jase...what language was
that you were just speaking?” I said unsure I wanted to touch standing waters.

“French, why?”

“That’s you native tongue?”

“No.
Krio or Creole.”

No wonder he had those eyes. I sat down slowly and breathed in and
out slowly.

“But I thought you were from here?”

Jase looked at me with a humored empathy in his star stuck eyes.
He sat down beside me and moved his hand slowly from the crown of my honey
auburn tresses down to its tips.

“My family
is
from Sierra Leone—my ancestors. My father
moved to the States when he was a teenager...he wanted more. When he met my
mother in Louisiana they decided to have me in their foreign land. I was raised
here until I was seven. By that time he was an established business man in New
Orleans. Of course we came back for long summers but I always knew I wanted to
come back here to live one day.”

“So you can read this?” I said handing it to him.

Jase looked it over with an embellished look and looked back at
me.

“Who gave you this?”

“Well, it was to be given to me when my Pal Pal passed...he died a
month ago.”

Jase hung his head and tisked his mouth looking defeated.

“I understand a few words but this looks like French Creole—I
speak Jamaican Creole. I learned from my mother who is fluent in several
languages.”

“But you speak French!”

“It’s not the same...some of the dialect, and mixtures of cultures
blinded can create a whole different language all its own. I’m sorry babe.”

I shook my head,

“Its okay, I’ve just been looking at these weird words and shapes
and I can’t seem to,” I held my breath.

“Understand what my Pal pal is trying to tell me.” Jase held me. A
flood of emotion poured out of me and into his warm arms. Jase rubbed my back
hard with a detoxifying force so much that more tears started to release.

“I can have it translated for you, if you’d like. It will be a
couple weeks before it’s done but—”

“Yes! It
don’t
matter please—that would
mean so much to me.”

He took the letter and folded it back up
neatly,
placing it in the envelope I had received it in. I wiped my eyes and decided
this thing between Jase and I was all or nothing. I still felt like he was
holding back.

“So why didn’t you turn the other cheek when I left you the way I
did?” I asked.

“Because, I knew you were going through something much deeper than
me. I want to tell you the truth about me. I don’t want to hold anything back.”

“Why do you feel like you can’t tell everything? I mean look at
you! I don’t know you Jase—I don’t even recognize your voice.” I said as tears
started at the corner of my eyes. He moved closer to me.

“I don’t tell anybody about my past usually...remember when I
asked you what if I was married?” I chuckled and tried not to take in his scent
as he touched my face and caressed it. Everything
is
always too good to
be true. I was learning
that
was
true.

“Who is she Jase?”

“Who
was
she...she died, four months ago.”

“Thought you said you hadn’t had sex in a year before me?”

“Right.” he said staring at me.

I looked up at him. He paused before saying,

 
“She was the only woman
that ever loved me for
me
.” he stated.

“How long had you been married?”

“Not very long.
Chardonnay, she died running from
me after...I—I...told her about an affair I had.” Jase stood from me clutching
his head in his hands. I sat there not sure of what to do, yet moved by his
revelation.

“You alright?”

He shook his head no. I went to him to rub his back. He turned to
face me and said,

“It’s messed me up—it still does.”

Myron
, I thought. Jase gave me a different light about everything. He
seemed so perfect that I had forgotten he was a man. And in a sense I thought,
him cheating and being a man didn’t make him a bad person, just a person that
had made a mistake. I backed away from Jase.

“That’s why it’s been difficult for me to say to you what I am...”
he said walking towards me. Myron...was all I could think about. His mistakes
he made weren’t that bad. Jase locked his eyes into mine and said,

“I’m in love with you.”

I shook my head no, only because in the mist of him confessing his
passion for me, I made the discernment I was truly in love with two men at the
same time. Jase gently picked me up as if he were going to carry me over a
threshold—which he was—to the guest house ten feet away he was staying in. He
kissed my shaking lips as he walked along the stoned walk that snowed with tea
rose petals. When he pushed the door open he let me down and closed it behind
us. Without a word Jase unbuttoned my jeans and with no effort at all slipped
them over my diamond shaped hips to reveal my black lace and satin boy shorts.
He pulled me over to the chaise lounge in the den by the top of my shorts and
pulled me down on top of him.

“You ever wonder what it feels like to get high off
love?
I have—’cause I’ve never been this high, Chardonnay.”

I leaned over him and began to take his clothes off as tears fell
down his eyes.

“It’s okay,” I whispered in his ear, kissing his lobe.

“I’m here, baby.”

Jase pulled my boy shorts down and then unclipped my bra to
release my over buxom titties. Jase stared at my breast in awe.

“So bountiful...your nipples are so tender and glazed. I wanna
milk them in my mouth.” he said with a longing and impatience. I held my breast
up and Jase latched on like a baby receiving its first meal.

When I thought he was about to inject himself—he surprised me in a
way I had never been before. He palmed my full bottom with his hands and pushed
my flushed with juices pussy in his salivating mouth. Jase made my back arch
like a freshly plucked eye brow by a certified makeup artist. I had never been
loved in this way, him devouring me like a Thanksgiving fest after an eve of
smelling it bake. His pout lips kissed my clit gently and then sucked it...I
lost all sanity. My body fell weaker and Jase pulled my ear to his glossed
lips,

“You high yet?”

I couldn’t even respond,

“Yeah,” he whispered flipping me over and then slipped all of his
ten inches in me—only for me to come right then and there. I shook for about
two minutes when he began to come right behind me. I pulled him out half way
through his nut and let some of it squirt in my mouth, slurping it like a
drinking water fountain. I wanted to taste him as he’d done me, he was greedy
with it and I wanted some after watching him eat. He looked over at his clock
and said,”It’s six thirty...you eat
good
?”

22

Model
Revealed

I looked at
the red ribbon that blew with the wind in my hand Myron had given me before my
flight had taken off. I wasn’t sure what to think of it as I looked on at the
production team around me for my shoot. We were on Tokey beach with lights,
camera,
action
soon to flow. They were shooting me at
dusk with a sunset to follow. Maybe it would have been good for Myron to be
superstitious, I thought as I kissed it.
 
In my mind I was okay with having both—but one would have to be let go.
And Jase said it himself that men tend to fuck up because that’s human nature.
Josh and Micah pranced on to the set in their beach wear looking as if they
were on vacation; they ran over in my direction.

“Girl, why aren’t you dressed?”
Micah said
pulling me up from the beach chair.

“I have a robe on,” I moved the top of it back and he saw the
golden string bikini I had on.

“Well that don’t excuse why makeup isn’t done—
where’s
the nearest shade
?” he looked around and Josh pointed over to an
umbrella that was occupied by some male crew members ready to get their gawk
on.

“Right there hon—let’s go move them. And oh, Chardonnay this is
what’s called a test
shoot
today.”

“What that mean?” I said as we walked on to the table. Micah asked
the gentlemen if we could use the table.

“It means everyone is putting in time for free to see what the
invested shoot might look like.”

“So these pictures might not be used.”

“They won’t be used at all.” she said putting her shades over her
eyes and then looking to the side of her. Micah had begun to put my primer on
and smooth it out on my face. I couldn’t see who she was looking at, all I
heard was Josh saying,

“Hey there handsome—who are you?”

Micah looked up and looked back at me, “Um—this might be of
concern to you—look over to your left, honey.”

I looked over and my heart jumped. Myron was standing two feet
away with Casablanca lilies in his arms looking so sexy all in a white Adidas
sweat suit jumper.

“
Wh—
what are you doing here?” I said
jumping up.

“I wanted to surprise you.” he said handing me my flowers and
leaning over to kiss me on the cheek.

“I thought you were in New England.”

“I was...and then I decided that I needed to be here with you. I
got what you mean about me supporting you—I haven’t been there for you in the
past like I should have been.” he said with inclination in his tone. Myron’s
light brown eyes gazed into mine, his curly hair gently moving with the wind,
and his ear dilated for a response. I was just in wonderment.
For numerous reasons as well.

“Don’t need too much more of a support system now...any way or you’ll
die of over dose.” Micah mumbled under his mouth as he chuckled with Josh. I
was glad they found this little situation humorous because I found it
terrifying. The directors on the set all began to congregate, along with
wardrobe stylist, assistants, lighting crew, and well of course Jase. He was
walking down the sandy white beach with his personal assistant Nina
Vonseigneur, his cousin as well. I didn’t have to guess what his reaction would
be to seeing “flashy jock”. Although he wouldn’t show it on the outside—I knew
he was feeling animosity on the inside, which was deadly for Jase.

I hung my head low as Myron pulled it back up and kissed my lips.
Of all the times I’ve ever needed him, why now would he understand the
significance. Myron saw my distant body language—but before he could ask what
was the matter I was snatched away by an onsite director. Micah finished my
makeup swiftly on set and then they moved him so the huge camera could begin to
capture my beauty. Myron watched on in the back ground as Jase directed me,
telling me which angle was nice as he looked through the monitor himself.
Twenty minutes into the shoot Jase got frustrated and yelled a distressed,

“CUT!”

Everyone took five. He marched over to me, as Myron looked on, and
asked,

“Is he distracting you being here?
Because your
face is off.”
I turned my head sideways. It struck me as odd that he
wasn’t bitching about him being here at all.

“N-no...well yes I guess—Jase I’m sorry. I didn’t know he was
coming and—”

“Save it. Just make sure you don’t focus on bullshit and forget
everything else.”

“You not mad?” I asked.

He looked off and looked back at Myron—why did Jase do that! Myron
began to walk over.

“Just make the lens and me love you—think passion—think sex—think
me.” He said walking off and harnessed everyone back into action. Myron and
Jase walked past each other, Myron mugging him—Jase not acknowledging him and
being a business man.

“The fuck that was about?”
Myron asked.

I shook my head, his approach compared to Jase’s—night and day.

“We’ll talk later.” I said and posed for the camera.

*
 
*
 
*
 
*

After the
shoot was over Jase looked happy as he looked back at the over one thousand
shots we did with the photographer. I did two wardrobe changes after the gold
bikini I had on to a lime green full body with cut out sides. I posed in the
sand with that one. The last change in wardrobe, hair and makeup was the best
series.

 
They put me in a hot pink
crow shaded cotton swimsuit that was full body but totally see through. I knew
Myron was losing his mind for good and bad reasons. My crotch area was knitted
tight so there was nothing to be seen there. My hair stylist Knitasha (Natasha
),
put mousse in my hair and combed her fingers through it—making
my straight hair go curly. Micah played up my eyes with a shiny hot pink shadow
and purple lips. A gold sprayed mist was placed on my full body to give a
bronzed skin look. It came out hot!
 
I
looked through the pictures with Jase and he gave me a hug to symbolize a job
well done.

“You took some great shoots after you concentrated.”

“Thanks Jase. Look, I have to handle something.” I said looking at
him.

He looked as if he understood and nodded his head walking off.

I met Myron back at his hotel he was staying in. I didn’t know how
I would tell him to go back home and I didn’t need him now, but it had to be
done. How ironic he would be there for me when I had begun to find my own way.
I knocked on his door and waited for an answer. A few seconds later I heard it
unlock and as he opened it Myron stood there with an anguished look on his
face. I pushed him back and walked in.

“Myron, plain and simple, I can’t do us anymore.”

“I knew it!” he said as he slammed the door.

“I knew when you came down here this shit was wrong! What he do,
huh! Bye you a million islands—huh! What—give you a mansion?”

“No! He showed me what a real man is!”

“With his money!
I can do this shit for you and you
know it!”

“Yeah but it won’t be legal! Plus this is business, Myron—it’s not
just about him.”

“Man whatever. And I have my own shit now—a million dollar
contract, so don’t throw that shit in my face.”

“I won’t throw it in your face anyway, because the matter of the
fact is it isn’t about the money. Jase showed me what a real man is. Hell I was
in love with him before I knew he had money!”

Myron got quiet. He sighed and then said,

“So, you’re in love with this dude?”

I hesitantly answered,

“Yeah, I am. But he doesn’t know that.”

“Look, Chardonnay. Whether you realize it or not, I’m a changed
man. I’m ready to turn a new leaf with you. Please...” Myron got down on his
knees putting his hands in prayer position.

“Please baby.”

I closed my eyes as he gripped my thighs breaking down crying.
This man...I had known my whole life...he was all I knew. I raised Myron face
and bended down with him.

“You gotta do right this time Myron, or else.”

I kissed his face as he wept like a child. That little boy I meet
in the high weeds of their back yard who had found me...lost in a world I didn’t
know, much like he had found me now. For the rest of that night I stayed there
with him, just lying in the bed in the dark.

*
 
*
 
*
 
*

Once
morning seeped into the blinds I could feel Myron move from the bed. I lay
there watching him walk to the rest room and pulling his manhood out his sweat
pants, urinating into the stool. My heart wept as I turned over interrogating
the thought of being broken hearted over one guy while being in love with
another at the same time. Our room phone rung and Myron looked over as he was
now brushing his teeth.

“I’ll get it,” I said leaning over.

“Hello?”

“Miss Chardonnay Houston?”

 
“Yes,” I said sitting up.

“Mr. Vonseigneur sends for you. He says it’s very important you
meet him at his parent’s home immediately.”

“With whom am I speaking with?”

Myron began to slowly walk in the room with a nonchalant swagger
as he let his tooth brush hang from his foaming mouth. I looked up at him as I
hung the phone up.

“What’s that all about?”

“Nothing.
I have to go to a meeting their having.”

“Don’t
lie
to me, man.”

“Alright well, Jase wants to see me.”

“Yeah, obviously.
Look, I told you how I feel. I can’t
keep you from going to see that man.”

 
I nearly choked.

“What? No, holding me physically back? No telling me what I
am
going to do?”

Myron shook his head no.

“I already told you, I love you and if you love some—”

“Thing you’ll let it go.” I said smiling.

“Yeah,” He said smiling and holding his arms out. I hugged him and
kissed his supple lips.

Getting to Jase’s parents home was a hop and a skip from where
Myron’s hotel was. There was a small path that leads to the drifting sands and
a wide passage that I could see the home with lighted candles in each window.
When I got half way across the board walk Jase walked out the front doors. He
met me half way. Once again his hands were in his cargo pants as he galloped in
a steady pace towards me. I watched him as I stopped and wondered to myself,
why he had to be so fine. If this decision was made on looks alone, albeit
Myron was cold, Jase would win hands down. He stopped when he got a foot away
from me and looked into my face.

“I take it your leaving with him.” he said first.

My mouth parted, caught in its defense, seemingly because he had
put words in my mouth. I hadn’t thought of it that way, leaving with him.

“I have a history with him...I just can’t let it go like that.”

“Yeah...like you have a history with me.”

Silence.

We stared at each other before he gave out a misplaced laughed.

“I should of known...your young—why should I of expected something
more with you?’

“Jase,” I said holding on to his arm as he turned away,

“I meant well, some things get complicated.”

“No—what’s complicated is that you think I’m stupid.”

“I never said that—”

“You really don’t remember me do you?”

I looked in his hazed eyes trying to understand him and his rambled
emotions.

“Jase, What?
What are you talking about?”

“Just go Chardonnay...please for the both of us.” he said trying
to walk away.

“Jase!
Please! Tell me what you mean?”

“I never told you that my mother and father ever married...I went
to Kansas City this past May to do business and stop in and see family...a part
of my family I haven’t seen since I was...seven. My father left us here to run
his business, and my mother eventually took us to the states shorty after to
run after him. He made a settlement with her that if he gave her the business
he started and put it in her maiden name—that we’d never have to worry about a
damn thing—or him ever coming home,” Jase looked at me with full tears in his
eyes,

“I thought Jean—”

“He is my father, the only one I’ve ever known.
My
grandfather.”

“Jase I’m sorry...”

His head tilted as he glanced at my hand.

“Not as sorry as I am...that’s a nice ring on your finger.” I
looked at my right hand with the five carat past, present, future diamonds
Myron had given me as a promise ring.