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Authors: Jacquilynn Martine

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‘For the
beauties, get ready to shake that ass and pop that pussy, ‘cause tonight is my
boy’s night so sho him how to get right.

Thank you
and
Much
love,

S

Zasmyth took it all as a hype drug and got us all ready while
Tonya and Keisha drunk half the bottle of Cristal. I grew nervous and my body
wouldn’t stop perspiring.

“Zas, I can’t stop sweating.” I said to Zasmyth as she pulled the
outfits out.

“You should be cool. They like the sweat on our bodies anyway.
Some men even like it a little stank down there.” said Keisha.

I frowned at Keisha and wondered how many girls like her were out
in the world. It took me to even a place I didn’t want my mind to think about
going. I thought about Myron and how many girls
stank
pussy he put his dick in and if he liked it to smell that way. Keisha mugged me
and said,

“Is there a problem?”

I waved her off and Zasmyth handed me my get up.

“Aye, don’t front mi girl like dat!” Zasmyth said adjusting Ms.
Keisha’s attitude.

“And Nay, whatever you do, don’t mess up your hair I took my
precious time doing. Dat new color is really cute on you too.” Zasmyth said
admiring my hair she did back at her house. I wasn’t really feeling it since it
was close to my actual hair color, called light auburn mist, but I knew Myron
would fall at my feet when he saw it. He didn’t have to have me, but I would
make him want me.

“Umm...Zasmyth I don’t want to wear this!” said Keisha.

“Girl, I don’t have
nothing
else! Plus
you gone mess up the theme.” said Zasmyth.

She gave me a white lacy number that intimidated Keisha. But it
wasn’t what I had on. It was how sexy my body looked in it. Keisha wore a
hunter green silk that I was sure I could turn out too. Her weave was sprayed
green with glitter all over and it hung to the middle of her back. Zasmyth had
styled my hair with big, loose curls, giving me a glamour girl look. I wore a
mask over my eyes. Zasmyth’s hair was highlighted with blonder streak’s to
offset her red base. She then put it in a long ponytail and put on her black
and red dominatrix outfit. Tonya wore a pink teddy and had two ponytails.

“Okay girls. We’re every man’s fantasy. Keisha your deadly, but
sensually desirable Poison ivy, Chardonnay you’re the Angle (in public but
freak behind closed doors) in disguise, I’m
Painfully
sexy, and Tonya is a Virgin.”

We marched over to the next room. Zasmyth swung open the door and
slowly walked in the room full of men with the aroma of good weed, blunts, and
beer in the air.

“Here we are gentlemen. Let us be your fantasy.” said Zasmyth.

The men started yelling and cheering us on. The music started
playing. Zasmyth, Keisha, and Tonya started dancing. I followed their lead. I
bent over and started popping my butt. After about fifteen minutes, I started
feeling it.

Tonya and Keisha, who were very experienced, went off to another
room with five men to do what I’m sure wasn’t dancing. Zasmyth and I took on
the crowd of hungry man. I was down to my bra and thong. Zasmyth wasn’t wearing
anything but knee high boots, which worried me. She was giving a man that was
slinging a lot of cash a full on lap dance. The guy I was giving a lap dance to
started pressuring me to take off everything but my stilettos. I backed up and
waved to get Zasmyth’s attention. She finally looked over annoyed and danced
over to me. The men began to clap and cheer on some girl on girl action.

“What?!” said Zasmyth.

“This negro wants me to take it all off.”

“For how much?
Mi sure it wouldn’t hurt.”

“He said five hundred, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Hell, for that much I’ll do him.
Move!”

I couldn’t believe it. She was buck wildin’ out! I stood there for
a minute and noticed a younger looking man waving over at me. I guessed it
couldn’t hurt.

“You sexy, girl.” he said grinning to reveal his gold grill as I
walked up on him.

“How you feeling?”
I said as I danced around him.

“Better since I’m feeling you,” he said smacking my behind and
making it jiggle.

“You look real familiar.” he finished.

“Oh really.
Do you see me in your dreams?”

He chuckled and sipped on his cognac. I sat on his lap and started
grinding. I leaned back on him as I spread my legs and moved like a gazelle in
an African forest as all the other men watched on.

“Fuck!” he said in suspense, releasing his alcoholic halitosis. I
moved my face a bit from the direction of his mouth.

“What’s your name baby boy?”

“Rason.
Would you like to get an extra two grand and
just…dance alone with me and my boy Jalen over there?”

I looked over at the guy in reference to and shook my head no.

He looked cute, but rough and studied me like I was a piece of
well marinated KC Masterpiece steak.

“Come on, ma. Don’t be like that. We ain’t gone bite.”

“Uht uhn.
We staying
right
here.”

He grabbed me and pulled my hips into his face. I gasped as he
slipped his smoked out finger tips under the G-string I had on. I recalled
Zasmyth saying that my clothes wouldn’t come off but Rason saw different for
me. He reached for my head and whispered,

“That’s where I know you from...you dat bitch ass Myron dudes
girl.”

I tensed up at the mention of his name and the acute appearance
that he didn’t like him. Just before he pulled my white G-string down over my
wide hips I heard my name called.
 
I
turned and who I saw could have shocked a thousand watts into my body. My body
felt limp and I ran out the room past him. But all the men followed me out the
room. As I ran I became cornered having to wait on the elevator. I couldn’t
find the steps anywhere. I finally looked down and saw why I was being chased.
My G-string was gone. Humiliated by this I continued to run as men huddled
around me. Tears flushed my face. Before I could get away, the exact person I
was running from was pushing through the crowd and took the shirt off his back
and covered me. He picked me up and walked down the hallway and pushed the
stair way doors open to seclude me from harm. I covered my face.

My life had crashed before me.
My image.
My innocence.
 
As if
he knew what was going through my mind he said,

“I don’t think ill of you.”

I looked into his gray eyes and he wiped the tears from my face.
Jase attempted to carry me down the steps but then I remembered...no one else
would carry me. I would stand on my own two feet. I pushed him away and ran
down the stairs. He followed.

12

Scared
of Fate

We hit the
night air as he held the glass door of the lobby open for me. Jase didn’t speak
a word as he pressed the key held door opener and unlocked the doors to his
Maybach...his car alone made me feen him. I got in and tightened his shirt
around my body.

“Too late for that.” he joked.

I cut my eyes so hard at him and he got right to the point,

“So you’re a stripper now.”

“NO! I did that as a favor for my friend.”

He pulled out a cigar from his glove compartment and licked it
with his wet tongue...damn that turned me on.

“One hell of a favor.
You could be doing more
constructive things with your life. This here is not it.” he said placing the
cigar in his mouth and starting his car.
 
I sat my head back as he drove for what seemed like two seconds when he
pulled up to a brick building down town
 
that looked beaten and worn.
 
He
hopped out as I sat up and looked at him silly.

“I’m not getting out this car and going into that building with
you.”

He nodded his head and went on in by himself. I waited five
minutes before I jumped out and went around the front from the dark parking
lot, following his trails.

 
I opened the door and to my
astonishment, the place was gorgeous. The lobby floor was liquefied by the
antic marble making it look as if it was flowing water. I walked along it and
looked at the fresh flowers of Casablanca lilies and the antic molding along
the walls and corners. The design of them reminded me of the gracious icing
along the edges and corners of a birthday cake. When I reached the receptionist
desk she looked me over and said,

“Fifth floor penthouse.”

His penthouse was a mere different than the lobby. The only
difference was that his place was the color of mocha and cream and canvases
were everywhere.

“I’m up here.” A voice traveled from above me.

I looked up and seen him looking over the balcony and to my
surprise his penthouse was five stories high. I watched him come down the
stairs and walk over to me as he slowly smoked his cigar. I coughed and said,

“Those things will kill you.”

“Not these... a new cigar to help smokers quit...It has
helped.”

I glanced over him and went for the sofa. The art I saw looked
like it could have been millions of dollars’ worth. One in particular caught my
eye. It was a painting of a girl with gold long flowing hair that draped her
naked body. Her features were sharply beautiful and her eyes were sad. She had
a beautiful diamond necklace around her neck that had a huge black diamond
hanging from it in her bosom. What really puzzled me was the fact that she
looked keenly like me.

“You collect?” I asked knowing no coincidence could be so
possible.

Jase smirked and said,

“No, I make.”

I nodded my head assuming so.

“They’re nice. So you’re an artist.”

“Merely.
It’s a hobby.”

I raised an eyebrow and took into consideration that if I had a
craft so brilliant, I would be at Juilliard.

“Wow. So...you drew that of me?”

He looked at the painting and shrugged his shoulders.

“I guess that could be you...”

I laughed and stood to walk over to it. Something about it struck
me as weird. My hair was gold in the picture which was my natural hair
color...this man has never saw my gold tresses.
That and the
picture being dated April 5, 2006.

“How did you know my hair was gold?”

“You keep suggesting that the drawing is you...I never said it
was.” he smiled.

I side glanced at him coming to the conclusion that he’d seen me
around the city before.

He gave me a narrowed look and said,

“I had a dream...and the girl in that dream looked a hell of a lot
like you. I just can’t figure out if it was real or fake.” he took a seat on
the edge of his chaise lounge. I looked at him suspiciously.


You fucking
with me...why?”

“That’s something I never do with a woman, at least not with her
mind.” his hard glances made me shiver and feel weak.

“Anyone ever
tell
you that you’re
precious?” he began.

I looked off at the lofty window to my left.

“Or that you make a room move when you take just one step?”

I looked down nervously and played with my hands.

“Jase, I don’t have it that great.”

“Who said you needed to? But what I can’t understand is why young
women like you do this to yourself.”


It’s
 
nothing
I’ve done to myself, and if it’s a good reason you’re
looking for, it’s because guys like you! You’re just older with your game—but
you’ve done this shit for years, so don’t front me.”

“Guys like me, huh? What kind of man do you think I am?”

“The player type.
Hustler obviously,” I said waving
my hand around at his lux life.

“Wow, we really need to get to know each other better, then. I’ve
never been either.”

Jase put his quitter’s cigar out or whatever it was and walked
over to me. He kneeled down and took my hands in his.

“I see so much potential in you. It—it’s like a light that
flickers on when I see you that gloats promise.”

“I’m not sure what you are seeing but
it’s
all lights
out honey.” I said getting up and letting go of his hold. He pulled my hips
back to his middle and wrapped his arms around me. Calm came over us and his
touch was indeed magnifying. But my pain, my distrust, my insecurity wouldn’t
let him in much longer. I closed my eyes and pushed away.

“This is what you’ll do. You’ll pull me in and make me
yours...your charm will be too strong to overcome and then...you’ll get used to
me.”

For me to not know his expressions yet, the look he was giving me
at the moment told me he was more than hurt. It had to be that I had offended
him. I looked at him as he stood five feet away from me in his white T he
rocked since he had to give me his GAP sweat shirt.

“I’m not that type of man. Although I know a lot of my homeboys
are like that, my mother has always taught me to treat women with respect. Now
if you give me a chance, I can show you,” I wanted Jase’s words to be true. He
pulled me into him and began to whisper,

“Let me heal your wounds. I’ll show what a real man is and more.”
His hardness press against my sensitivity.
I had on four
inch heels that made us stand face to face. I looked in his eyes and knew Jase
would inevitably be my second love since in this moment I was half way
there...falling in that mystical hole. But this time it was different. I wasn’t
falling alone.

He was right there by my side kissing every inch of my body as he
laid me down in his California king size bed.

“I’ll take care of you, Chardonnay. Just trust me,” his fingers
ran through my hair,

“What do you wish or desire in a man?
Or in
life?”

I held a blank stare taking in the trickle of his fingertips going
up the middle of my stomach. I exhaled and let out,

“I don’t know, but I think
it’s
you.” and
then he sealed my wish with a kiss like a lacquered wax for a secret letter. We
couldn’t stop. Our tongues intertwined compatibly and his stroke was strong yet
gentle.

“You’re so beautiful,” he kept whispering as he explored me.

“So beautiful...”

When Jase took his clothes off I knew my face was flushed from the
pure bashfulness I felt go through me. He was
all
grown ass man from his
pecked out shoulders to his handsome feet...not to mention his middle.
Everything was perfect and his skin was
so
supple, taut, and cinnamon that I could taste it. His ample back side made it
easy to grasp hold when he mounted me gently. I fell deeper for this man as he
looked in my eyes going in and out of me with a rhythmic groove to our panting
breaths. It was as if he was going through me and dancing in my soul. I locked
my grip onto his twisted locks of hair and let out a moan so full of finesse it
felt as if I released years of imprisonment.

*
 
*
 
*
 
*

Night’s
soothing but unique sounds sung through the open terrace doors along with light
winds in Jase’s massive master bedroom. I looked up at him as I lay on his
chest, watching him silently sleep in a peace that I gave him an hour ago. I
moved my hand along his lightly haired chest and closed my eyes tight trying to
stop the tears. I could have this man...but he wasn’t mine to have.
 
I rose from him slowly, careful not to awaken
him.

His drained body never made a shift as I walked to the bath room,
picking up his cordless land line. Flicking on the light or closing the door
would have been deteriorating to my plan. So I sat on the golden stool and
watched in the darkness from the bathroom, his movement, if any were to occur.
I dialed the only person I felt I could rely on in this situation, not for
advice but comfort. Konstance picked up her phone on the seventh ring (I was
desperate) and answered,


Who is this
?”

“Me.” I said in a low and strained whisper.

“Nay?”

“Yeah, I—I need you to come get me.”

“From where?”

“On 9
th
and Main in some lofts...please!”

“Okay, but who’s number are you calling from? And I heard about
your nasty ass!”

“Not now, okay!”

“Chardonnay...grandpa is dying.”

My heart stopped. Or it felt that way. I blinked as I looked at
Jase lying stretched out in the bed. I knew he was sick but not that sick.

“Come get me...now.” I said in a sorrowful note.

*
 
*
 
*
 
*

I didn’t
know why but I couldn’t stay there in his arms. It may have been that I was
tired of being dumped and I wanted to leave him before he left me. I wrote a
note using a sticky pad he had hanging from his refrigerator and a pen I found
strolled on the kitchen counter.

I wrote:

Jase,

I know you might be mad at me right now, but later on you will
understand. You deserve someone that is better than me...I don’t even know
where to begin with my life. I’m lost, but I think I found a little of me in
you...

Thank you.
I will always remember you.

Your
hard to forget (smiles),

Chardonnay

I swiped tears away as I leaned my head up against the window in
Konstance car as I now knew Jase was reading my good-bye note. Konstance
touched my hand and asked,

“Nay, what’s the matter?”

“I just let a real good friend go.” I exhaled out.

“Who’s that? Fianna and Kat—”

“No, I don’t mean them...a guy.”

“Oh, the person’s place I just picked you up from? What’s his
name?”

“Jase.
He’s... a dream.” I chuckled out making my
cheeks curve and gave way to the tear drops that rested on them. Konstance
drove on, looking intrigued by a stranger to her I spoke of. Not twenty minutes
later after
me leaving
his penthouse, my cell phone
rung with his number on my screen. I pushed the end button and Konstance shook
her head.

“Why don’t you want to talk to him? I saw him at that party and
Nay
the man got it goin’ on.”

“That’s the problem...I don’t deserve him. I’m just not ready yet.”

“I hope it’s not about Myron, if so, he’s moved on without
thinking of you.”

I shrugged my shoulders. It was about Myron but in so many ways it
wasn’t.

I heard the Sprint lady tell me I had one new message.
Regrettably, I never planned to listen to it.

*
 
*
 
*
 
*

I found little shelter at Konstance’s place since Denim was
laying
up in her parent’s home. Unfortunately Aunt Karmen
and Uncle Bryant were on their way back since my grandfather’s condition had
taken a turn for the worse. Our summer party was placed on hold until Konstance
and I felt content about it all. I knew I wouldn’t be able to take refuge too
long at her place so I spent the night and the next day, took a shower,
borrowed one of her outfits and headed over to my parents’ home to face dirty
laundry. Konstance parked her car five houses down from where my parents
actually stayed. There were, without exaggeration, nearly fifty cars on the
usually lonely tree line block courtesy of my family. I got out the car and
noticed Myron’s gas guzzling Escalade
parked
in the garage. Before I
could turn and make a get a way, Konstance pulled my arm and said,

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