Changing Focus (4 page)

Her neck convulsed as she swallowed hard. Her eyes lost the glint and she waved her hands vaguely between them as though she were warding off unwelcome feelings.

“I’ll just go wait in here.” She turned her back on him, moving into the living room.

Micah took a deep breath, closed his eyes briefly, then whirled around and nearly ran down the hall to the kitchen. The last thing he needed to do was get physical with one of his guests. However, the more time he spent with her, the more convinced he became that she was a shifter, specifically, the she-wolf he’d seen and scented in the woods.

He made quick work of heating some milk, adding cocoa powder and sugar. Stirring the concoction until it was frothy and steaming, he added a little vanilla and cinnamon, thinking of Olivia’s sweet spicy scent as he did so. Pouring the mixture into two large mugs, he moved back down the hall.

She sat on one of the large footstools near the fire, her knees drawn up and her arms wrapped around them. Lifting her head, she smiled as Micah came into the room. He took three steps across the room and knelt beside her stool. He handed her one of the mugs, setting the other one down on the floor.

Pulling the screen aside, he stirred the fire and placed another log on the irons. He could feel her watching him. If he turned his head just a little he’d be able to see her. Doing so, he met her eyes, caught again by their unique color. Somewhere between sky and powder blue, they sparkled like the snow outside when the sun hit it just right. For a long moment, neither of them moved, both seeming suspended as the atmosphere around them thickened.

Finally, she blinked and he was able to look away. He looked instead at the fire, feeling the heat on his face as well as in the rest of his body. Micah knew that Olivia was the source of the heat coursing through him. It had been a very long time since a shifter female had stirred him as much as this one did. He also knew from that feeling that the two of them would be lovers before she left the lodge.

Something also told him there would be more to it than that. His grandfather, the wisest shaman he’d ever known, had always told him he’d know, down in his soul, when he met the woman fated to be his mate. The feeling churning in his gut told him it might very well be the woman sitting next to him also staring at the fire.

Olivia cleared her throat, smiling as Micah settled onto the rug beside her stool. “So, thank you for taking me out today. I didn’t realize there was so much involved in walking around in snowshoes.”

“Wait until we go cross-country skiing.” Micah didn’t try to hide the humor in his voice and a slight shiver went through him when she laughed. The sound enchanted him and he immediately wanted to hear more of it.

“Oh no, I’m already sore. I remember how stiff I got the last time I went skiing. I can’t imagine how I’ll feel then.” She stretched her legs out in front of her and Micah let his gaze go from her ankles to the juncture of her thighs. He wanted to offer to massage the soreness away but wouldn’t do so until she gave him a clearer signal of her own interest.

He turned his face back toward the fireplace, unwilling to stare. Her scent reached him again, the smell of oranges wrapping around his senses.

Micah closed his eyes. The urge to pull her into his arms to softly stroke her neck then let his hands wander down the curve of her breasts nearly overwhelmed him. He couldn’t give in. He had to wait.

As a she-wolf, the first move was up to her. If she wanted him, she’d let him know. He could make his interest known, but he wasn’t usually that overt. He knew that among humans the male usually made the first move, but in shifter communities, the female would always let her desires be known.

If they were in a Pack situation, it would be different. As the dominant male, he would be the only one she could offer herself to unless he gave her permission to seek out another or if he were already mated. Since they weren’t in a Pack, he waited.

Picking up his cup, Micah sipped absently at the cooling cocoa, waiting for even the smallest sign from Olivia. The silence stretched between them and he felt her relax beside him. Finally she sat forward, putting her cup on the floor. He turned his head to watch her push her hair back behind her ears then met her gaze as she raised her eyes to his.
Here it comes. Now she’ll say something and we’ll be able to make love.

“So, Micah, what do you do when you’re not here? Gareth kind of gave the impression that you were gone for several months at a time.”

He stared for a moment then blinked slowly, pulling his testosterone back under control.
She isn’t interested? Damn. How could I be so wrong about this attraction?

Clearing his throat, Micah tried to decide what to tell her. He didn’t want it widely known that he was a bond enforcement agent, especially since her article would include pictures. He hadn’t fully retired from the life as yet.

“What I tell you about my other profession needs to be off the record.”

“Excuse me?” She looked him straight in the eye and Micah had to force himself to sit perfectly still.
It’s not a challenge. Don’t overreact.

“I work as a bond enforcement agent, Olivia. If you spread that around and include my picture, I won’t be able to effectively perform my duties.”

“You’re a bounty hunter?”

He heard the interest in her voice and sighed. Why did people, women in particular, find that such a glamorous profession?
There isn’t anything glamorous about chasing felons across the country only to turn them over to local law enforcement. Unless you like spending hours doing nothing more than watching and waiting for the prey.

“Yes.” He tried to infuse as much reluctance into his tone as he could, hoping she’d get the hint that he really didn’t want to talk about it. Fortunately, she seemed to be as attuned to his desires-at least the more passive ones-as he was to hers and she let it drop.

“Well, that’s interesting, but I’m really here to write about winter sports. So tell me, what’s your favorite winter sport?”

Micah had to bite his tongue to keep from telling her what sport he’d like to engage in with her. When he was sure he could control his unruly thoughts, he took a deep breath. “I prefer cross-country skiing.”

“Really, why is that?”

He could almost see her taking mental notes so he moved over to the desk in the corner and pulled out a notepad and pen, handing them to her. She smiled up at him from her position on the footstool, taking the paper and pen. Her smile called up those thoughts he’d just wrestled into submission. To see her face flushed with passion as he drove into her…but instead he had to satisfy her curiosity about her subject.

For the next twenty minutes, she asked countless questions about winter sports and he answered them. The clock on the mantle finally caught Micah’s attention and he rose to stretch then offered her his hand.

“Where are we going?” Though she asked first, she placed her hand in his, allowing him to pull her to her feet. He relished the small sign of trust she’d offered. Maybe she just wanted to get to know him better before making her interest in him obvious?

“It’s lunchtime. I hoped you wouldn’t mind continuing this conversation in the kitchen while I make lunch.”

“Not at all.” She followed him down the hall, the sound of her footsteps a quiet counterpoint to his own. He saw her ensconced into a kitchen chair with another cup of hot cocoa then turned his attention to what they’d have for lunch. Settling on stew, he started pulling containers of frozen stew out of the walk-in freezer.

Though she balked a bit at the size of the bowl he put in front of her just a little while later, Micah was amused to watch Olivia eat. She had no difficulty with the broth or the vegetables, but she pushed the meat aside.

“Don’t you care for the stew?”

“Oh.” Her face flushed slightly as she glanced down at her bowl. “It’s wonderful, really. I’m just not much of a meat eater. Red meat isn’t supposed to be that good for you, you know?”

“It’s venison. Venison is very healthy.” He let his face relax into a smile as he watched her tentatively spoon up a piece of meat.

“Are you serious?”

“Yes. Less fat, more protein.”

“Do you hunt?” She tasted the meat, shrugged slightly and resumed eating.

“Frequently. Game is plentiful in this area and it all depends on what is in season.”

“Do you offer hunting packages to your guests?”

“No, hunting isn’t the main draw here. Don’t get me wrong, there are several times of the year when hunters flock to the woods-deer season is a sellout time for the lodge. However, since I own a lot of acreage and I’m bordered on one side by the reservation, hunters have to have my permission to hunt around my lodge and I rarely give it. I prefer that the game roam freely.”

He knew his eyes had bled to gold as he thought about his favorite kind of hunting. The kind that didn’t involve guns, but did give his animal side some exercise. Micah wondered if she’d like to join him on a hunt sometime. It became more obvious to him that she’d not spent much time with other shifters. She didn’t react to anything he said as a shifter normally would.

“Tell me about you, Olivia. Where do you live?”

“ New York, I just moved there from Miami. I grew up all over the East Coast, though.”

“Your family moved a lot?” Maybe they
had
been Packless.

“I don’t have any family. My mother died shortly after I was born and my father when I was five. He’d been in the Army, like you, but died of a heart attack while in the service.” She shrugged, closing her eyes briefly then opening them to smile at him. “I got lucky. I didn’t stay in the foster care system for long. I was just in two homes before the Decaturs adopted me.”

Micah couldn’t believe her parents hadn’t left her in the care of other shifters. “Weren’t there family friends?”

She shook her head. “Who knows? When my father died, we were living in Korea. The Army couldn’t find any information on his family or my mother’s so I became a ward of the state. That’s where the Decaturs found me. They were one of the best things to happen to me really.” Her eyes softened in memory.

“There was no will? No next of kin?”

“Well, it wasn’t like they’d planned to die.” She shoved away from the table and Micah cursed himself under his breath. Perhaps she really didn’t know what she was? Could it be possible? Could her parents have truly left a shifter child alone in the world? Where were her godparents?

Shifters
always
provided for their children. There was always someone who knew what they were, how to contact relatives, friends. They always had someone who would take care of the children if anything happened to the parents. Micah himself was godfather to several shifter children, responsible for their care should their parents die or need his assistance in other ways. It was the closest thing to a sacred duty to him.

“I’m sorry, Olivia.” Micah moved closer to her, wanting to pull her into his arms but refraining. Instead, he closed the distance with only his hand to touch her hair gently, relishing the feel of the soft strands that tangled around his fingers. “Where are the Decaturs now?”

Fear crossed her face quickly replaced by sorrow. “They’re dead. They died in a car wreck when I was thirteen. But they’d left a will. I lived with my mother’s sister and her husband. My Aunt Jill and Uncle Neal were my guardians until I was in college.

“They loved me, but it wasn’t the same. My parents,” she hesitated. “The Decaturs ’ death really shook them. I shouldn’t have survived, but I did. My therapist thinks that’s why…” her voice trailed off quietly as she pulled away from his touch.

S
he shook her head quickly then stepped to his side and turned to face him. “I’m sorry. I overreacted. I guess you’ve got a close family?”

Micah took a deep breath. Olivia’s scent carried guilt but he didn’t know why. Instead of asking any more questions about her family, he let her shift the focus to him. “We grew up close, but we’re fairly scattered now. I have a large family, that’s for sure.”

“How large?” She moved to sit at the table again and he followed slowly.

“I have my mother, eight siblings and at last count-twenty nieces and nephews. My father died when I was a teenager, but my paternal grandfather helped rear us.”

She simply stared at him. He wasn’t sure if it was in awe or utter shock. “You have thirty people in your immediate family?”

“At last count. I’m sure there are more nieces or nephews by now or on the way. My siblings seem to enjoy large families. Only two of us aren’t married and procreating just yet.”

“I see. Well, thank you for answering my questions and for the stew. I really should go transcribe these notes so I don’t wonder what I chicken-scratched later.”

She stood up, stretching as she did. Micah watched her lean form move under the shirt. Her breasts. His hands ached from not being able to touch her. Still, he had to wait for that first move. Her ass swayed delectably as she exited the room.

Micah cleared the table, glad the seeming crisis had been averted but determined to find out more about Olivia’s childhood. If in fact she didn’t know she was a shifter, if that was why she didn’t acknowledge that he was, it might be interesting to introduce her to their shared world. But it was going to be hell on his hormones if he couldn’t act on his need for that sexy she-wolf.

Olivia headed back to her room full of information but she really needed to process her own reaction to her dreamy host. When he’d reached out to stroke her hair, she’d had to fight leaning into him. It just seemed like the right thing to do but there was no way she could do that.

If she let him know how much she wanted him, she knew he would respond favorably. There was no mistaking the interest in his eyes. Olivia closed her eyes as she shut her door behind her. Sagging against the wood, she released a gust of air.

“Olivia. You know why you can not have sex with that man.” Scolding herself did not help. She sat down to type out her notes, but opened up a second document on her computer to journal a bit about her reaction to him. As the first man in a while who had seriously made her want to get naked, Micah Keeps Vigil would have to be processed.

As she wrote about him, the words turned from clinical to personal to sexual. Soon she typed out an erotic fantasy where she was on her hands and knees with him pounding his cock into her as he called out her name.

“Olivia?

This time he knocked too. Olivia jumped as she realized the knock and her name were real. Slamming the laptop closed, she shoved back from the desk. Where had the time gone? Her clock showed two hours later.

“Olivia?” Micah’s voice carried through the wood. “I thought you might like to take an afternoon walk with me. I have to check some of the property and you might see a different variety of wildlife at this time of day. Would you like to go?”

He stood with one hand on the doorframe, filling the space when she opened the door. Ducking his head, he stepped across the threshold when she waved him in.

“I’d love to, Micah. Let me grab a sweater and then we can layer up for the outside.”

His approving chuckle made her belly feel toasty and warm. Once they were rewrapped for the weather, Olivia followed Micah out again in the afternoon for another walk on the snowshoes. She’d gotten the hang of them though she wasn’t quite as graceful on them as she’d hoped she’d be. But now that she was focused less on her face not being planted in the snow, she had to acknowledge the frisson she felt around this man.

As they walked up to a lake, she imagined she would feel little arcs of electricity when he would stop to point out various animal burrows, squirrel nests and the mistletoe in the tops of some of the trees. She allowed herself a moment to daydream about him holding a sprig of mistletoe over her head as he lowered his mouth down to hers for a deep, seeking kiss.

Micah didn’t just show her the animals. He told her about them. It was as if he knew them intimately-almost as if he understood their very nature. Olivia paid close attention to his words and to the man himself. She watched the fluidity of his walk, even on the ungainly snowshoes. He was definitely the most gorgeous man she’d ever seen in her life.

Her hands itched to roam all over his tall body. The thought of tracing his muscles had her biting the inside of her cheek. Not good to moan while hiking behind the man. She figured he had to weigh well over two hundred pounds, but she’d wager that not an ounce of it was fat.

She breathed deeply, the bite of the winter air causing her to cough. Micah glanced back at her, his concern fading to amusement. Olivia shook her head on a short laugh. “How cold do you think it is right now?”

“Now? Probably less than ten degrees. With the wind chill though, it’s probably eighteen or twenty below. Are you warm enough?”

“Well, my nose is getting numb, but the rest of me is warm enough.” She couldn’t stop the feeling of pure feminine pleasure that swept over her as Micah’s gaze moved from the top of her red hat to her booted feet. Her belly heated up even as her head reminded her that she could never indulge in that reality.

He tilted his head back toward the lodge and they started moving down the path. Olivia looked over to the side and stopped dead in her tracks.

“Micah,” she whispered.

He stopped, turning to look at her. Moving very slowly, Olivia gestured with one hand toward the side of the path. Micah moved back to her, staring into the woods. “Something moved. I think it was a wolf. There! Do you see him?”

“Yes.” His voice matched the quiet in hers.

Olivia stood mesmerized. She watched the edge of the woods where a wolf stood. Beside her, Micah was perfectly still. The wolf stood in profile to them, looking at them over his left shoulder for a long moment then turned and disappeared into the undergrowth.

Olivia took a deep breath then turned to face the man beside her. “Just how many wolves are there in these woods?”

“What do you mean?”

She noted that his voice sounded funny, but she plugged on. “Last night I saw the biggest gray wolf I’ve ever seen in my life in the clearing around the lodge and now this white wolf in the woods. Are there more of them around?”

“Sometimes. Depends on the time of the month-I mean year.” He shrugged. “Let’s get you back to the lodge.” She noted that his voice sounded normal again.

He led the way in silence and they reached the lodge without seeing any other wildlife. Olivia shook her hair free of the woolen hat, laughing a little at the static, and hung the hat up on a peg just inside the door.

They toed off their boots, pulled off gloves and then Micah reached out to help her with her jacket. For just a moment, she thought about doing the same to him just so she could wrap her arms around his massive chest.

She wanted to nuzzle into his neck, smell his skin and feel his arms around her. She really wanted to rip his shirt off and see if his body followed through on the promise it seemed to be making.
No! No ripping. No biting or clawing either. Remember Jackson? You could do to Micah what you did to Jackson.

Visions of the flashing lights and sirens from that awful night filled her mind. Shaking her head at her own wayward thoughts, Olivia went back toward the kitchen. Micah followed her on silent feet.

Scooping up her notepad, Olivia turned to find Micah leaning against the counter. His gaze lasered straight into her core, threatening another meltdown. She faltered. “I…I think I’ll just go upstairs and put some more of these notes into my computer.”

“You should take a warm shower just to make sure you don’t get a chill. Or you could join me in the sauna.” The lazy sensuality of his voice only added to the lava forming in her stomach. But she couldn’t let him know that.

“Maybe I will. Just not right now. I really need to get these images down on paper.”

Smiling, Olivia moved past him to the staircase. She could feel Micah’s gaze on her as she went quickly up to the hallway. When she gained the privacy of her room, she leaned against the closed door for a moment, trying to catch her breath.

“Sauna? Puh-lease! If I saw him naked in the sauna I’d definitely have to jump his bones.” Olivia laughed, pushing away from the door. “And that would be such a bad move.”

Her laughter faded as Jackson ’s face floated up in her memory. Her first lover, the man she would have married if she’d been able to keep herself from going wild at his touch.

Olivia swept a stray lock of hair behind her ear. They’d kissed before-even fooled around a bit and when he’d taken her to bed the first time, she’d been sure he was the man for her. She’d even accepted his marriage proposal. Then, one night, everything had changed. They’d been having sex and she’d gone crazy on him.

He’d forgiven her. Of course he’d also broken up with her. His words spoken with kindness but tinged with fear still rang in her ears.
Olivia, I think maybe you need to see someone about this. It’s not normal to be so violent in the bedroom. I love you but I can’t deal with your aggression.

She’d had to agree when faced with the stitches on his cheek that mirrored the ones on his chest. And she’d had her acrylic nails removed and vowed never to wear them again. If only she’d known that uninhibited sex did that to her. Her therapist had suggested past sexual abuse that she’d buried, but Olivia knew that wasn’t it.

It was tied to the monster inside her. The one who had killed her parents.
Enough!
Slamming the door on those painful memories, she moved purposely toward the desk and her laptop, opening it and striking a few keys to wake it up. She paged through her notes from earlier then pulled up a blank document and started writing her article. She forced herself not to return to her earlier erotic journaling.

As usual, she lost track of time as she wrote. The light tapping on her door pulled her out of the story taking shape in front of her and back to the present.

“Yes?”

“I just wondered if you were ready for dinner.” Micah’s voice carried through the closed door.

“Dinner?” Olivia glanced at the clock on her laptop, shook her head and moved toward the door. “I’m sorry, I completely lost track of time.”

She also lost her ability to speak as she pulled the door open. Micah stood in front of her door in a blue denim shirt and jeans that hugged his hips and thighs. His hair fell loose around his shoulders and her mouth went dry as she let her gaze roam freely from the top of his head to his moccasins with a long pause at the hidden treasure behind his zipper. She finally raised her eyes to meet his gaze.

“Are you hungry?”

“Starving.”
And for more than just food.
Olivia knew at that moment she wanted desperately to make love to this man. The breakup with Jackson had been eight years ago. Surely she could control herself now? Lust surged up and overrode every piece of good sense she had.

The attraction raged between them. She could feel his arousal. She could definitely see his interest-hell, she could almost smell it.
Smell it? That’s ridiculous, Olivia Marie. Get a hold of yourself. First you think the man smells like cookies and now you think you can smell his arousal? What is wrong with you?

She jerked her attention back to Micah with a faint smile. “I think I’ll take a quick shower, that is, if I have time?”

“Take as much time as you need. I’ll be in the kitchen.” He turned, somewhat reluctantly, she thought, then paused at the top of the stairs to look back at her. “Would you like wine with dinner?”

“That would be lovely.” She smiled at him, saw his mouth curve slightly in response, then moved to the doorway watching as he went down the stairs.
Honestly, how can a man as massive as he is move so gracefully?

Olivia slowly closed the door and walked over to the armoire where she’d stowed her clothes. For some reason, she wanted to dress up a bit. Though Micah wore jeans and a denim shirt, she wanted to be a “typical” female and impress him. Knowing men were more visual than women, she’d definitely “dress to impress” tonight.

Pulling her favorite silk shirt out of the armoire, Olivia dug through her clothes until she found the slim black skirt she’d bought recently. She tossed them on the bed then dug through her lingerie until she had the pieces she wanted.

Taking the lacy bits into the bathroom with her, she raced through her shower, washing her hair and body quickly then smoothing her favorite lotion into her still-damp skin.

She made quick use of the hair dryer and diffuser, scrunching her curls and then swiping her mouth with her cherry lip gloss. She used a small amount of mascara on her lashes then pulled on the black lace thong and matching push-up bra.

Silently she thanked her best friend for talking her into buying the bra because tonight she wanted to make the most of what she had. Rolling thigh-high hose on, she smoothed her hands up her legs. Olivia studied her reflection in the full-length mirror, knowing what she’d see. A woman bent on seduction.

She ruthlessly shut down the memories of ambulances. This time would be different. This time she would control that savage thing that lurked inside her. She just hoped Micah appreciated the trouble she was going to.

Olivia stepped into her skirt, zipped it up then checked the appearance of the slit in the side as she took a step forward. Perfect. Just enough leg. She hummed her satisfaction, stopping when she realized it sounded more like a low growl.
Get it together, Olivia, or you will have only yourself to blame-and you’ll have to satisfy yourself…again.

She pulled her blouse on and buttoned it with hands that shook slightly. She’d never allowed herself to even consider this-not since that night she’d terrified herself and her boyfriend. Micah-something about Micah made her crazy. That afternoon’s self-exploration hadn’t taken the edge off this attraction.