Authors: Kimberla Lawson Roby
W
HAT A DEPRESSING FOUR WEEKS
it had been. Not just for me, but for all of us. Brandon, Brianna, Marvin, Roy, and even for Whitney, because the truth of the matter was, Whitney still cared about Charisse and had wanted to help her. As a matter of fact, Whitney had even gone with me to see her and the two of them had finally reconciled.
But in the end, Charisse had forgone a trial, pleaded guilty, and the judge had sentenced her to fifteen years with a chance of parole in a few years. I’d been so upset, but I knew this particular sentence was actually lenient and that it had had a lot to do with her father’s testimony. He’d told the judge how Charisse’s mother had beaten her as a child and how if he’d been a better man he would have stopped it. He’d explained that Charisse had acted in the only way she knew how and that violence and cruelty was the only thing she had seen growing up. Then there had been the testimony of two psychiatrists who’d confirmed that Charisse was somewhat unstable and needed daily medication—medication that Charisse had never had prescribed for her in the past.
I’d been shocked, of course, about everything I’d learned, and all of it saddened me. Partly because I loved Charisse as my friend, but mostly because her children were so miserable without her. They’d been inconsolable and had missed over two weeks of school. And it hadn’t been until they’d gone to see Charisse three days after her arrest and one day before Mattie Lee’s funeral that they’d finally started speaking to Marvin again. Still, it had taken them another week before they’d moved back home, Brianna from my house and Brandon from his grandfather’s.
But thankfully, Charisse had told them the truth—how she’d lied to them that Sunday about their father and how she’d been a terrible wife to him. She’d told them that Marvin loved them more than anything and how she needed them to be a family. She’d explained how she hadn’t been a good mother and how she would forever try to make it up to them. She’d told them that it would be her primary mission from that day forward.
Although as bad as all of this was, Charisse murdering her mother and being sent to a state prison, I was still very shocked about something else. Charisse had found the courage to tell Marvin everything. Specifically, why his two best friends had basically stopped contacting him one year after he and Charisse were married. Interestingly enough, Charisse had paid two women to seduce and sleep with both of them and then threatened to tell their wives all about it—that is, if they didn’t stay away from Marvin. And so, Ronnie and Charles had respected her wishes. Whitney had told me about this very thing weeks ago, that night I’d returned home from Los Angeles, but I still couldn’t fathom the whole idea of it. I just hadn’t expected Charisse to confess to something so appalling and I wondered if she was now regretting doing it because Marvin had made it clear that he was filing for divorce. He’d promised that he would bring the children to see her regularly but that this would be the limit of their relationship.
I shuffled through some papers on my desk and realized it was good to be back at work, especially after being gone for so long. Dr. Green, whom, as it turned out, Charisse had also slept with, had released me from his care about two weeks after my surgery, but I’d still taken additional leave so I could assist Marvin and the children. Marvin because he’d never paid a single bill before and didn’t know how to budget his money, and the children because they seemed a lot more at ease when I was there with them. But a couple of days ago, I’d decided that it was time I got my own life back to normal, whatever normal was going to be for me. Because there was no doubt that it wouldn’t be the same as it had been one month ago. Not with me finding out who Cameron really was and then, within hours, losing Charisse to the penal system. No, life for me would never be the same, but I was still hopeful. I had faith that my world would be better as time went on. Better because my goals and dreams were still intact.
I opened Jessica Harris’s file, checking to see if she’d called while I was gone. Her first court appearance for the divorce was in two weeks, so I was thinking I should call to get an update on her husband. Especially since before I’d taken leave, he’d been harassing and threatening her almost every day. But as I flipped through the documents, looking for her number, my phone rang.
“Cameron is in the reception area,” Sharon, my assistant said. “So, should I have them send him back?”
“Sure, go ahead,” I said, because I hadn’t told Sharon or anyone else at the firm about our breakup. It was true that I still didn’t want to see Cameron, but if I suddenly turned him away, the rumors would start floating from one office to the next almost immediately. Especially since everyone there knew Cameron because he’d accompanied me to countless office parties.
It took a couple of minutes, but finally there was a slight knock and Cameron walked in.
“Please close the door,” I said, and he did.
“Thank you for seeing me.”
“Please. I’m only doing this because I’m not ready for my coworkers to know about us yet. But you still have a lot of nerve coming here.”
“Well, I wouldn’t have, Taylor, if you’d answered my calls or, even better, your doorbell,” he said, sitting down. “I’ve been calling you every day and I know I’ve been by your house at least five times.”
“And you still didn’t get the message?”
“I just don’t want things to end like this. Not on such a cold and permanent note.”
“Well, that’s just too bad, because this is the way it’s going to be.”
“But can I at least explain?”
“Explain what?”
“Why I didn’t tell you about Cindy or my boys.”
“To be honest, I really don’t care.”
“Maybe you don’t, but Taylor, I was scared. I found myself caught between a rock and a hard place and I didn’t know what to do about it.”
“Well, guess what? You no longer have that problem now. Do you?”
“But I still love you. I mean, I love my boys. But I love you, too. I’ve always loved you.”
“And what about Cindy?”
“She’s the mother of my children.”
“Then that’s who you should be with. End of story.”
“But it’s not that simple. I want to be there for my sons and keep you, too. I mean, we wouldn’t have to stop seeing each other, and as soon as they’re a little older, I could divorce Cindy.”
I laughed at him like he was a comedian.
“What’s so funny?” he asked.
“You. You’re as funny as they come. Either that or you’re just plain ignorant. But let me make myself clear once and for all. You and I are over. You hear me? Over. And I don’t ever want you contacting me again. Not by phone, not at my house, not here.”
“I don’t believe this,” he had the audacity to say. “I know I was dead wrong for what I did, but how can you just walk away so easily? Especially when you kept claiming you were so in love with me.”
“I really was in love with you, but the important thing is that I’m not anymore.”
I could tell he wanted to say something else, but he didn’t.
“Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like you to leave,” I said. “I want you to get out of my office and pretend you never met me.”
“Fine, it’s your loss,” he said, standing up. “Because it’s not like you’re going to find another man who looks as good as me and who has it going on businesswise the way I do.”
“Is that what you think?”
“No, that’s what I know. I’m a good catch and any woman would be thankful to have me. I mean why do you think Cindy has been sitting around for two whole years praying that I’ll take her back?”
“I don’t know, maybe she just doesn’t know any better. Because if she did, she would take almost everything you own and find herself a real man.”
“Like I said, you won’t ever find another man like me and that’s why you’re lashing out the way you are,” he said with a stupid smirk on his face, and without hesitation I did something I hadn’t planned on. I picked up the phone and dialed Skyler.
“Are you busy?”
“No, what’s up?”
“Can you come in here for a minute? Like as soon as possible?”
“Sure. I’ll be right there,” he said and hung up.
“So, what are you doing? Calling security?” Cameron asked.
“No. I just want you to say hello to someone before you go.”
“This is meaningless,” he said, opening the door, but Skyler was already standing there.
“Cameron, my man, how are you?” Skyler said.
“A lot better now that I’m leaving.”
“No, wait,” I said, still sitting behind my desk with my arms folded. “There’s one last thing I need to tell you.”
“What?” Cameron said, and his tone wasn’t cordial.
“Skyler and I have been seeing each other for over two weeks now and that’s why I haven’t returned your phone calls. Not to mention he doesn’t want me consorting with men I used to date. Isn’t that right, Skyler?” I said, and I could tell Skyler was confused. But thankfully, he followed my lead.
“Yeah, I guess I can’t deny it. And I hope you don’t have any hard feelings about it, man.”
“I think both of you know where you can go,” Cameron said, and walked out.
“Okay, so what was that all about?” Skyler said, coming in and shutting the door.
“It’s a long story and I’m sorry for involving you in it.”
“He must have really pissed you off.”
“More than you know. We broke up the day I came home from the hospital and then this morning he just showed up here.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Hey, it happens.”
“So, was this a onetime deal?”
“What?”
“Me pretending to be your significant other?”
“Yes. I promise I won’t ever ask you to do that again.”
“Well, it’s not like I’m complaining, and since we’re on the subject, my offer to take you to lunch still stands.”
“I don’t know, Skyler. I mean, I just got out of this relationship with Cameron and a part of me is still trying to recover from it. He really hurt me and it hasn’t been that easy to deal with.”
“I understand that and that’s why I’m only asking you to lunch. Nothing more.”
“Today?”
“Yes, if you’re available.”
“Okay, make the reservations and let me know what time,” I finally agreed.
“Will do.”
“But Skyler?”
“Yeah?”
“You know this is crazy, right? You and me treating each other so terribly and then all of a sudden going to lunch together. I mean, what is everybody going to say around here?”
“I don’t know, but do we really care?”
“No, I guess we don’t,” I said after thinking about it. Skyler smiled at me and left my office.
I smiled to myself and realized that for the first time in weeks, I actually had something fun to look forward to.
In all honesty, I couldn’t wait.
T
HE DAY OF MY CLASS REUNION
had finally arrived and I was thrilled as all get out. I was thrilled because I had indeed dropped fifty pounds and this black cocktail dress I was wearing was a 14—W, that is. Which was still a huge blessing, since originally, I’d only been shooting for a size 16. Although I knew that this was all because I’d lost a lot more inches than I had planned on and because I’d made what was proving to be one of the best decisions in my life.
I had officially joined Weight Watchers.
Which actually hadn’t happened until about two months ago, right after I’d read this study in a medical journal and had discovered that this just might be my ultimate solution. Yes, I’d still been working out on a fairly regular basis and was paying a lot more attention to what I ate, but it had become more and more apparent that what I really needed was something a bit more structured. What I needed was something that wasn’t your normal flimflam diet plan but instead was a wonderfully fulfilling new way of life and one that centered on nutrition and fitness. Thankfully, this program was all of that and then some and I couldn’t have been happier.
Still, though, this whole process had been a bittersweet journey for me. I mean, sure, I’d lost the weight that I’d wanted to lose, but I’d also lost Rico and was now regretting it. I knew that he had lied to me and that his
experiment
had been heartless, but now I was starting to see what Taylor had been trying to tell me. It was too late, but I understood why she’d insisted I give him another chance. Because if I had, I wouldn’t be heading to such an important celebration without him. I wouldn’t be standing here getting all dressed up and then waiting for Taylor to come get me. I mean, what kind of hot date was that? It was true that I loved Taylor and would give my life for her, but she wasn’t someone I could show off to my schoolmates. She wasn’t the person I’d had in mind when I’d first decided I was going to this reunion.
But I guess I should just be happy that I didn’t have to go alone and that Taylor was even available. Especially since she’d called me yesterday afternoon practically bragging about her lunch with Skyler. She’d gone on and on, telling me what a great time she’d had and how she was surprised that they had a lot in common. Which to be honest, I wasn’t all that shocked about because they’d never really gotten to know each other. At least not on a personal level, and I was glad Taylor was spending time with him. I was glad she had someone else to focus on so she could eventually forget about Cameron.
I did a once-over in the full-length mirror and was glad I’d slipped on a waist whittler. It was sort of squeezing me tight, but the important thing was that I could hardly see any bulges. Still, I had to admit that surgery would eventually be needed. I wouldn’t have gastric bypass, the procedure my coworker Renee was still checking into, but maybe liposuction or abdominoplasty. Actually, I was thinking more toward the latter because once I’d lost a full hundred pounds, I knew massive skin would be hanging everywhere. I’d seen it happen too many times on a number of reality shows and I knew I wouldn’t be excluded. I knew I would have to find a good plastic surgeon and soon.
When I grabbed my purse and turned out the bedroom light, I heard the doorbell ringing. Taylor was right on time—so I thought—but I about keeled over when I saw Rico. He was dressed in a classy black suit and I just stood there, I’m sure with my mouth open.
“There’s someone on the phone for you,” he said, passing me his cell, and I took it.
“Hello?”
“Sometimes we don’t always know what’s good for us or what isn’t, so I took it upon myself to help you out in that department,” Taylor said.
I was still speechless but Rico smiled at me.
“You’re my girl, Whit,” Taylor continued. “You’re a good person and you deserve to be happy and that’s why I called him.”
This time I wanted to respond, but I still couldn’t.
“Well, aren’t you going to say something?” she said.
“I guess I don’t know what to say. Except you never cease to amaze me.”
“And that won’t ever change. Now, go have a good time and call me when you get home…or should I say whenever it’s convenient,” she said, slightly laughing.
“I will. And T?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
“You’re quite welcome.”
When I passed the phone back to Rico, he said, “So, are you going to invite me in or not?”
“Of course,” I said, and he stepped past me.
“Baby, you look like a million bucks.”
“Thanks. So do you.”
“And you don’t know how glad I was to hear from Taylor last week. She called my company, found me through the employee directory, and we started planning from there.”
“Well, I’m glad she called you, too. I mean, I know I said I never wanted to see you again, but after a few days passed I really started to miss you. I started to miss you a lot but I was worried about being hurt again.”
“I know, and you had every reason to feel that way. What I did to you was the worst but I’m still hoping that you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me. Because Whitney, I don’t want to go another day without you.”
“And I don’t want to be without you either, but I’m scared.”
“But you don’t have to be,” Rico said, pulling me toward him. “I know it’ll take a while before you believe me, but I promise you I won’t ever hurt you again,” he said, caressing my cheek. “I won’t ever hurt you again because I love you too much to ever do that.”
“I love you, too,” I said, and prayed that he wasn’t running another game on me.
I prayed that Rico really could love someone like me. Someone who’d struggled with weight her entire life and even now wasn’t thin by any stretch of the imagination.
But I decided that I really didn’t have anything to lose, that I should give Rico a chance, and that I should hope for the very best.
Because in the end, I knew that hope was all any of us truly had.