Changes (42 page)

“She's in shock.” Without saying more, he unzipped his jacket and put it on her, and by reflex Jess did the same and handed hers to Peter, as the others stared at her in disbelief and Jess knelt beside her and held her hand. Peter looked around the group, hoping that the ski patrol would see them soon. “Does anyone know what happened? Did she have a bad fall, hit her head? Could she have broken something? Even a bad sprain?” Mark was strangely silent and Pam shook her head as Matt began to cry and clung to Mel. And then suddenly Mel gave a shout as she watched her daughter's inert form, there was a huge red stain spreading up from where her trouser legs met, and even the snow around her was red.

“Peter, oh my God….” She pulled off her gloves and touched Val's face, it was like ice, but it was a cold that came from within.

Peter looked at his wife and then down at his stepdaughter. “She's having a hemorrhage.” And mercifully at that moment the ski patrol arrived, and two powerful young men wearing red and white arm bands knelt beside Peter.

“Bad fall?”

“No, I'm a doctor. She's having a hemorrhage. How fast can you get a stretcher for her?” One of them pulled out a small walkie-talkie and gave a red alert and their exact location.

“It should be here pretty quickly.” And almost before he had finished speaking, a stretcher on a sled appeared in the distance, with two men skiing with it. Mel was kneeling beside Val, her own jacket on top of the unconscious girl now, and she could see that in spite of their efforts her lips were turning blue, and Mel eyed Peter frantically.

“Can't you do anything?” They were eyes filled with tears and accusations, and he looked at Mel almost with desperation. If they lost her, Mel would never forgive him. But he was absolutely helpless.

“We have to stop the bleeding, and get her a transfusion as quickly as we can.” He turned to the boy from the ski patrol then. “How close is the nearest first-aid station?” The patrolman pointed to the very foot of the hill. It was barely more than a minute from where they stood. “Have you got plasma?”

“Yes, sir.” Val was already on the sled, and she had left a huge puddle of blood in the snow behind her, as the whole family followed the sled to the little shelter.

Peter turned to Mel again. “What's her blood type?”

“O, positive.”

Jessie was crying softly by then, as was Pam, and Mark looked as though he would be the next one in need of the sled. They unloaded Val as quickly as they could and carried her inside. There was a trained nurse there, and a doctor had been called. He was out on the slopes, bringing down a man with a broken leg, but Peter quickly propped Val's hips higher than her head, and the nurse helped him pull off her clothes as the others stood by. They began the plasma and an I.V., but Val showed no sign of coming around, and Mel's face was grim and filled with terror.

“My God, Peter …” There seemed to be blood everywhere and she turned to Jess suddenly, remembering Matthew, staring wide-eyed at his stepsister. “Pam, take your brother outside.” She nodded dumbly and left as Mark and Jessica stood by, clinging to each other with a viselike grip, as Peter and the nurse fought to save Val's life and Mel watched.

The doctor arrived only minutes later, and added his efforts to Peter's. An ambulance had been called, and they had to get her to the hospital at once, it was obviously a gynecological hemorrhage, but there was no way of knowing how it had started or why.

“Does anyone know …” The doctor began, and Mark stunned them all by stepping forward and speaking in a trembling voice.

“She had an abortion on Tuesday.”

“She what?” Mel felt the room spin around her as she stared at Mark and then Peter, and he caught her just before she fell. The nurse brought smelling salts, and the doctor continued to work on Val. But it was obvious that only surgery would stop the bleeding, and even that wasn't sure now. She had lost massive amounts of blood, and Peter looked at his son in horror.

“Who in God's name did this?”

Tears stood out in Mark's eyes and his voice trembled hideously as he faced his father. “We didn't want to go to anyone you knew, and that ruled out just about everyone in L.A. Val wanted to go to a clinic. We went to one in West L.A.”

“Oh, for chrissake … do you realize they may have killed her?” Peter was shouting in the tiny room and Mel began to sob as Jess clung to her mother.

“She's going to die … oh my God … she's going to die …” Jessica had totally lost control at the sight of her dying twin, and it brought Mel to her senses to see what was happening around her.

She spoke to Jess in a brutal voice, and hers was the only voice one heard in the tiny shelter. “She's
not
going to die, do you hear me? She's not going to die!” She said it as much to God as to those in the shelter. And she glanced from Mark to Jess in sudden fury. “Why in hell didn't any of you tell me?” There was only silence as she looked at Mark. It would have been too much to expect of them, to tell her, and then she turned to Jess. “And you! You knew!” It was a vicious accusation.

“I guessed. They never told me.” But her tone was as filled with fury as her mother's. “And what difference would it have made if we had told you? You're always too fucking busy with your job and your husband, and Pam and Matt. You might as well have left us in New York, you might as well—” But she was silenced by a sharp crack across the face from her mother which sent her sobbing into the corner as the shriek of the ambulance suddenly echoed in the distance, and a moment later they were busy bundling Val into it, with two attendants and Mel beside her.

Peter spoke quickly to his wife. “I'll follow you in the van.” He ran outside, leaving all their skis at the shelter. They could come back later, that was the least of their problems now. He started the engine, and the others silently hopped in. Jess and Mark beside him in the front, and Pam and Matthew in the back, and no one said a word as they drove to the hospital in Truckee. It was Peter who first broke the silence.

“You should have told me, Mark.” It was a quiet voice in the silent car, and he could only begin to imagine what his son was going through.

“I know. Dad, will she make it?” His voice trembled and there were tears pouring down his face.

“I think so, if they get her there quickly. She's lost a lot of blood, but the plasma will help.” Jessica sat between them in stony silence, the mark of her mother's hand still on her face, and then Peter looked down at her, and touched her knee with one hand. “She'll be all right, Jess. It looks worse than it is. It's impressive as hell when you see a lot of blood like that.” Jessica nodded and said nothing. And when they reached the hospital in Truckee, they all piled out of the car, but the young people got no farther than the waiting room. Peter and Mel went inside with Val while they prepped her, and Peter opted not to scrub and watch the surgery so he could stay with Mel while they waited. A gynecological surgeon had been called, and Peter assumed he knew what he was doing. They were told only that she was in grave danger, and that there was a possibility that a hysterectomy would have to be performed. They wouldn't know till they got inside, how bad the damage was. Mel nodded dumbly and Peter led her outside to wait with the others. She stayed noticeably away from Mark, and Jess kept her distance from her, and after a while, Peter went to his older son and gave him twenty dollars and told him to take the others to the cafeteria and get something to eat. Mark nodded and left, with the rest of the group in tow, but none of them were hungry. All they could think of was Val, on the operating-room table. And when they were gone, Mel turned to Peter with tears streaming from her eyes and sank into his chest with a wail of despair. It was a scene he saw every day in the halls of Center City, but now it was happening to them … to Mel… to Val, and he had the same feeling he had had when Anne had died, of being utterly helpless. At least now he could help Mel. He held her tight in his arms, and made soft soothing noises.

“She'll be all right, Mel … she'll be—”

“What if she can never have babies?” Mel was sobbing uncontrollably in his arms.

“Then at least she'll be alive and we'll have her.” That would be something to be grateful for at least.

“Why didn't she tell me?”

“They were afraid to, I guess. They wanted to work it out for themselves.” It had been admirable but foolish.

“But she's only sixteen.”

“I know, Mel … I know …” He had suspected a while before that she and Mark had finally made love, but he hadn't wanted to say anything to upset Mel. And he realized now that he should have had a talk with Mark. He sat thinking about it all as they came back from the cafeteria and Mark slowly approached Mel and his father. Mel looked up at him miserably and continued to cry and Mark sat down and looked at her, in as much pain as she.

“I don't know what to say … I'm sorry … I … I never thought … I would never have let her …” He bowed his head in lonely grief as the sobs racked him, and Peter's heart went out to him as he took him in his arms with Mel, and suddenly Mel and Mark were clinging to each other and crying, and then Jessica was there too, and Pam and Matthew. It was a hideous scene, and the doctor came out and looked at them with a groan. Peter saw him first and disengaged himself from the others. He went to speak to the surgeon quietly, as Mel watched with terrified eyes.

“How did it go?”

The surgeon nodded, and Mel held her breath. “She was lucky. We didn't have to remove her uterus. She just had a monstrous hemorrhage, but there's no permanent damage. I wouldn't suggest she try an abortion again though.” Peter nodded. Hopefully not.

“Thank you.” He extended a hand, and the two surgeons shook hands.

“I was told you're a doctor.”

“I am. Cardiac surgery. We're from L.A.” The other surgeon narrowed his eyes, clapped a hand to his head and grinned.

“Oh shit. I know who you are. You're Hallam!” He was so excited he could hardly stand it. And then he laughed. “I'm glad I didn't know that before we went in. I'd have been a nervous wreck.”

“You shouldn't. I couldn't have done what you just did.”

“Well, I'm glad to have helped.” He shook Peter's hand again. “Honored.” Peter knew then that there would be no bill, and he was sorry, the man had done a fine job and he had saved Val's life and the lives of her future children, and maybe even Mark's. He wondered if this would end the romance now, or if it would pull them together closer. It had certainly pulled the family together in the last hour, and as they sat and waited for Val to come out of the anesthetic, they began to come alive again. They talked and joked a little, but the atmosphere was generally subdued. It had been a heavy dose of reality for them all to live through. And before Val ever woke up, he took Pam and Matthew back to the condo. Mark and Jess had insisted on staying with Mel, and they wanted to see Val, but the other two looked worse than Val by then. Peter had insisted on taking them home no matter how much they protested.

“We want to see Val,” Matthew whined.

“They won't let you, and it's late, Matt.” His father was gentle but firm. “You'll see her tomorrow, if it's allowed.”

“I want to see her tonight.” Peter led him outside and Pam followed with a last look at the others, and when Peter returned Val had just woken up and was back in her room, but she was too groggy to understand what they said to her. She just smiled and drifted off and when she saw Mark, she reached for his hand and whispered, “I'm sorry … I …” And then she went back to sleep, and an hour later they all left and went back to the condo. It was almost midnight and everyone was exhausted.

Mel kissed Jessie good night and held her close for a long moment before she went to bed, and Jessica looked at her mother with sad eyes. “I'm sorry I said what I did.”

“Maybe some of it was true. Maybe I have been too busy with the others.”

“There are a lot of us now, and there's a lot on you. I know that, Mom …” Her voice drifted off, remembering another time, another place … when they didn't have to share her quite as much as they did now.

“That's no excuse, Jess. I'll try to do better from now on.” But how much better could she do? How many more hours were there in a day? How could she give each one what they needed, do her job, and even have time to breathe? She was a mother of five now, and the wife of an illustrious surgeon, not to mention coanchor-woman on a TV news show. It barely left her time to breathe. And her daughter had accused her of being more interested in her stepchildren than in her own. Maybe she was trying too hard to please them all. She kissed Mark good night too, and then fell into bed with Peter, but as tired as she was, she couldn't sleep. She lay awake for hours thinking of what Jess had said, and of Val lying in the snow covered with blood. Peter felt her shudder beside him.

“I'll never forgive myself for not knowing what was going on.”

“You can't know everything, Mel. They're almost grown-up people now.”

“That's not what you said today. You said they were as grown up as Matthew.”

“Maybe I was wrong.” It had shocked him to realize that his son had almost had a baby. But Mark had turned eighteen in August. In truth, he was a man. “I know they're young, and they're too young to be doing what they are, making love, and getting pregnant and having abortions, but it happens, Mel.” He sat up on one elbow and looked down at his wife. “They tried to work it out, you have to give them credit for that.” She wasn't ready to give them credit for a damn thing, nor herself.

“Some of what Jessie said was true, you know. I've been so involved with you, and Pam and Matthew, I haven't had much time for them.”

“You have five children now, and a job, and a bigger house to run, and me. Just how much can you expect of yourself, Mel?”

“More, I guess.” But she was exhausted at the thought.

“How much more can you do?”

“I don't know. But apparently I'm not doing enough, or this would never have happpened to Val. I should have seen what was going on. I should have known, without being told.”

“What do you want to do? Play policeman? Give up your job, so you can drive car pools?”