Chances Aren't (4 page)

After rolling my eyes, I look at the pool and instead of thinking of the price of the imported tile, I think about something else— something dirty and fun. I flash her a mischievous look.

"What?" She frowns.

"Remember that time we did it in the pool?"

She rolls her eyes and sighs.

"What?" I ask defensively, in that special way only a husband can who's always playing the sexual martyr. Don't judge me, it's in our D.N.A.

"Let's focus on—"

"You know, I was kinda psyched about putting it in. I thought we'd skinny dip a lot once we had—"

"Ben, don't."

"What was that like five years ago?" Looking to her, I await a response, but get nothing. "I think we were drunk that night." Grinning, I let out a long slow breath. "That was pretty freaking amazing though, wasn't it?"

"I don't remember." She folds her arms and slumps back against the sofa.

"You don't remember?" I scoff. "How many times did I ask you if you wanted to swim naked… must have been at least twenty?"

"What's your point?"

"Oh, nothing… just making conversation."

"This is conversation?" She glares at me.

"Yeah, that was fun wasn't it? We even smoked a cigarette that night. Remember those used to be like our pot." I sigh and rub my chin. "Maybe we should have smoked some real pot. We should have at least tried it."

"Is this walk down memory lane some lame attempt to fix all this... to, um, get me back?" She shoots me a pathetic look. "Because that's not—"

"Don't flatter yourself babe. If you think for one minute that I haven't been dreaming of a better life all these years, you're crazy. Dealing with your mood swings and always bending over backwards to make up for all my
horrible
shortcomings has been a nightmare for me."

"Bending over backwards?"

"Yeah..." Raising my hands, I motion to all this expensive stuff in our completely overblown backyard. "This shrine to our childlessness... How many times did you throw it in my face that we didn't have kids and
everyone
else we knew had them? Huh?"

"I'm not going to do this now."

"Fine."

She rises up from the sofa and heads toward the door. I slump back and sigh, taking one quick glance at her ass in that business skirt. I'm mad at her, but I'm still a guy.

A few minutes later, Emily pokes her head out the patio doorway and discovers me in the exact position she left me in, but now I'm sipping a beer. I'm actually on number two since the first one went down so smooth, but didn't exactly put me in the right frame of mind.

"Diana left, but she says she's going to take another look at the comparables and get back to us with a suggested price."

"Great." I lift my beer toward her and nod, giving her a sarcastic look. "Want one?"

Stepping out onto the steps, she pauses a moment to think.

"They're icy cold." I taunt her by holding my bottle out toward her.

"No." She shakes her head and frowns. "I've got to go."

"Okay. Suit yourself." I say it and sound like a complete prick. I just can't stop myself.

"Ben..." She moans in frustration.

"What?" I ask innocently shrugging my shoulders.

"Nothing. I'm leaving." She turns and slips back into the house.

Pushing back the bottle, I take a big gulp before slipping my shoes off, lifting my legs onto the sofa and closing my eyes. God, this sofa is really freaking comfortable, no wonder it was—

"Hey, don't tell me you guys are moving?" A female voice calls out.

Startled, I spot Nina, our neighbor, heading toward me. Her house backs up to ours

I slip my shoes back on and head to meet her at the fence. "How did you know?"

"When I drove by I saw Diana Hirsh wandering around taking pictures of the front of your house."

"You know her?"

"No, I recognized her from her ads. She's hard to miss." She widens her eyes.

"Tell me about it, I think she wants to kick my ass."

She giggles. "Why?"

"Not sure if you noticed, but I can be a smart ass."

"You?"

I grin. "You'd be surprised… anyway, not sure we will be able to sell. Prices are way down."

"Still?" She asks.

"Um…" I steal a glance at her chest then look her in the eye. "Yeah, but the market is just starting to come back a little."

Nina is around thirty, long dark hair, pretty and married to Tom. I've played tennis with her husband a couple times and we've been to one of their parties a few years back, but we're not close friends. It's probably the age difference. Mostly we talk like this over the fence no more than a few times a year.

"Where are you guys moving?"

"You know I'm not sure." I shrug. "Honestly, I wasn't actually in on the decision."

She breaks into a chuckle. "Seriously?"

"We're, um, splitting up."

Her smile evaporates. "Oh, no, what happened? Sorry..." She holds up her hands apologetically. "I didn't mean to ask you that. It's just that... I don't know. I thought you guys made a great couple."

"It's okay, we, uh... it's... the whole children thing." I take another sip of my beer. "Not having any, specifically. She sorta moved out last night."

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. It's been long overdue." I hold out my bottle. "Hey you want one?"

"No thanks." She smiles. "I'm already almost half way into a bottle of wine over there."

"Tom home yet?"

"No, he's away on business." Leaning over the fence, she looks toward the pool. "It's so nice back here."

I can't help but notice her cleavage poking out at me. God, I love women. I mean, how can you not look at tits especially when they're right there begging to be seen. Pulling my eyes away from her chest quickly, I return them to her face and try to look casual, praying I'm not busted.

"It is nice." I agree, although I'm not sure if I'm referring to the pool. "So, are you guys looking to move?"

"Yeah, right."

"You could get it dirt cheap. It seems we over developed back here for the neighborhood." I roll my eyes. "Well for any neighborhood outside of Malibu I suppose."

We share a chuckle.

"I'm sure someone will fall in love with it and have to have it. You'll see."

"Maybe."

"Well, I'd better get back. Got dinner in the oven."

"Okay."

Turning, she walks a few steps toward the house and my eyes go directly to her skirt and glaze over as my head tilts to the left. Don't judge me. I'm lonely, okay?

"Oh, Ben." I snap to attention only milliseconds before she turns back and gives me a hesitant look. "Can I ask you a favor?"

"Sure. Anything."

"I opened a window in the basement and now I can't get it to close right. I think I broke it and I know I won't be able to sleep worrying about it. Would you mind taking a look? I'm horrible with that sort of stuff."

"No problem. Do you want me to do it now or..."

"If you're not doing anything."

"I, uh, think I can squeeze it into my busy schedule."

After fixing the unbroken window I return from Nina's basement and find her in the kitchen pulling a steaming casserole from the oven. She cringes. "So did I break it?"

"No." I shake my head smiling. "One of the clips in the side wasn't all the way in and the lock was just twisted closed so the window wouldn't go all the way down. It's all locked up now."

She smiles. "Thanks. I did it yesterday and I had all this wood piled up on it to stop anyone who might break in."

"Yeah, I saw that. I'm not sure that would have stopped anyone."

"No, probably not, but at least I would have heard all that wood falling out of the window sill and I could have run for it."

I give her a supportive nod. "Emily piles up stuff in front of the door when I'm away. I always tell her that if someone wants to break in, you can't stop them, you just..." My jaw drops wide open. "I mean, you guys have an alarm system right, so..." I shut up when her worried expression finally registers in my idiotic brain.

"No, we don't have an alarm." She curls her lip. "You haven't heard about any breakins in the neighborhood, have you?"

"No. Sorry, sorry." Rubbing my hands over my face, I give her an apologetic look. "I always say the wrong thing. No, this is a safe neighborhood... really. What I meant to say is that an alarm wouldn't help..."

Narrowing her eyes, she looks at me, concerned.

For some reason, I can’t stop myself, so I say, "I mean no one is trying to break in to your house. I mean, it rarely happens." Sighing, I lift my hands up apologetically. "I'll just shut up now."

With her hand shaking a little now, she takes a sip of wine and carefully places the glass back on the counter. "I'm fine. I know it doesn't happen that much... yeah."

I cringe and I can feel my face getting hot. "Sorry. I think I'm just going to go before I say something else completely—"

"No, don't worry about it. Seriously, it's fine. I overreact about this kind of stuff all the time."

"When's Tom coming back," I ask simply to get us off this subject although that's probably not the best question.

"Friday."

"Oh, that's a long trip."

"Yeah." She shrugs. "Hey, you hungry? I've got all this and you're welcome to join me if you want."

"Oh, really. I, uh… You sure?"

"Yes, please say."

A few minutes later we're sitting down together and I'm halfway through my second glass of wine and her delicious chicken tetrazzini. "This..." I wipe my mouth with a napkin. "...this is amazing."

"Thanks."

I take another bite then wash it down with a sip. "Can I ask you something?"

Nodding, she takes a sip of wine.

"Are you guys planning on having any kids?"

"We've been talking about it. We want to wait until we have some money saved so I can take a few years off work."

"Hmm. That's a good idea."

"So you guys never, um..." she motions toward me nervously with her hand apparently waving off that question. "Sorry."

"Yeah, that's what sorta did Emily and I in," I say meekly. "We just couldn't get pregnant."

"Oh, sorry to hear that, I, uh... what was the, um..." After curling her lip, she takes another sip of wine and shakes her head no.

Suddenly I burst into a smile and roll my eyes. "Why can't we just talk? I mean, we're both adults, right? Do we really need to walk on egg shells around each other? I've been doing that with my wife for more than ten years."

"We don't have to." She smiles at me and takes a deep breath. "No marriage is perfect."

"You are right, no marriage is..." I sit up straight in my chair. "It was all my fault. I could not get her pregnant. Her vagina is perfect. My semen are lame. There I said it." I top off my wineglass then run my finger around the rim of the glass as I add, "Yep, my semen suck ass."

She covers up her smile.

"No, go ahead laugh. It is funny."

"No, it's not."

"It's a little funny. I spent my college years worrying about getting girls pregnant and little did I know I was worrying for nothing." Raising my hands up, I add, "Don't get me wrong. Not that I had a lot of sex in college or anything. In fact, that was pretty lame too." Sighing, I lift my glass to my lips and study the color. "God, life has really past me by." After taking a deep breath, I look Nina in the eye. "You know. It's amazing, one day you wake up and you just realize that you made mistakes and there's no turning back. Nowhere to go, nothing—"

"Ben, everyone makes mistakes and has regrets. You can always change your life. Sounds like you can have a fresh start now."

"You’re right. Sorry, I'm all depressed and everything. I'm sure you don't want to hear all my crap."

"Not at all. I want to hear all your crap. If I wasn't listening to you, I'd probably be watching coverage of the Jodi Arias trial. You’re actually saving me."

I give her a perplexed look. "Who's she?"

"Just this girl who stabbed her ex-boyfriend like thirty times."

"Wow, she sounds nice." I widen my eyes and smile. "And I thought I was trapped in a bad relationship."

"She claims she did it in self-defense."

"I think after maybe stab wound number eight, the self-defense excuse goes out the window."

"Probably so." She nods in agreement, holding back a smile.

"Why'd she do it?"

"She says he forced her to do all this sexual stuff she didn't want to do. She claims it was emotional abuse."

"Yeah, just like that woman who was married to the minister in Georgia or somewhere. She blew him away with a shotgun for making her wear high heels and, uh, doing
other
stuff. The jury let her off too."