Champion (Studs in Spurs) (11 page)

Chapter Ten

The morning light streamed through the window, making the tiny dust particles dancing in the air visible. Cooper noticed them as he led the way from the front door and into the kitchen. He supposed the dust couldn’t be helped. He’d kept the house straight and fairly clean the past few days, but he’d never be able to make it spotless or dust-free. This was a ranch house in Arkansas during the dry season. Dirt and dust happened. He pushed concern over the state of the house out of his mind and leaned against the edge of the counter. Arms crossed, he waited and watched for Hannah’s reaction.

She paused in the doorway to the kitchen. Her gaze went to the kitchen table and the wildflowers he’d stuck—for lack of a vase—in an old glass pitcher he’d found in the cabinet.

It wasn’t the flowers he wanted her attention on at the moment. It was the refrigerator and his sober state. He pushed off the counter and turned toward the fridge.

He glanced at her over his shoulder as he yanked open the door. “Come here.”

“Cooper, you don’t have to—”

“Hannah, please come here.” He waited for her to comply before saying, “Four bottles still in the fridge in the six-pack holder. Two empty bottles in the recycling bin. No hangover.”

She stayed where she was as he slammed the fridge door shut. “Cooper, I never said—”

“I know you never said anything, but you thought it. Thought it so damn hard I could see you thinking it.”

“I did and I’m sorry.” The sincerity was clear in her voice. Her honesty had him softening a bit as it chased away a bit of the anger her mistrust in him had caused.

“It’s a’ight. The way you found me here that first day, can’t say I blame you.”

Hannah lifted one shoulder. “I did show up uninvited.”

“You sure as hell did.” And he was glad she did.

Her gaze met and held his for long enough he felt himself falling deeper into this woman. It sure as fuck didn’t help that he’d jerked off to mental images of her last night. He probably should have done it again this morning, because the way he was feeling now with her looking so vulnerable and contrite, it would be too damn easy to make her late for work.

Finally, she broke her gaze away from his. “Nice flowers.”

“Found ’em growing in the field that I’m fixin’ to brush-hog. Figured they were too pretty to mow down so I picked ’em.”

He still had to replace some boards on the porch, but he’d decided to postpone that and tackle the overgrown fields first. If he wanted to put stock in those fields again, he needed to knock down the tall weeds so some grass could grow. Of course, he’d also have to check all the fencing and make any repairs necessary. There was a lot of work ahead of him.

“Cooper Holbrook…picking wildflowers.” She smiled prettily.

He laughed. “Stranger things have been known to happen. Such as Cooper Holbrook baking muffins.”

“You baked muffins?”

“I did.” He tipped his head toward the oven, which was pumping heat into the kitchen.

She grinned wider. “Good thing we found out your oven works.”

“Good thing.” He dipped his head in agreement. “So that local touring pro event Skeeter’s riding in, which day is it this weekend?”

“Saturday.”

“You still not going?” he asked.

“Probably not. I’m trying to change my schedule, but it’s doubtful. The weekend shifts at the hospital are always hard to get coverage for. The nurses with children like to have the day off to go to see their kids’ games.”

“You have a kid competing too.”

“I do, but he’s not exactly a child anymore.”

“I guess.” He felt more disappointed in her answer than he could have imagined.

He’d built up in his mind a whole scenario where they went to the event together. It would be as close to a date as he’d come to in pretty much ever. Although, all these meals they’d been sharing were sure taking on a date-like feel. Especially now he’d put those damn flowers on the table.

“Are you still planning to go?” she asked.

“Yup. It’s been a long while since I’ve seen the kid ride. It should be interesting.”

“No doubt.” She smiled. “And I’m sure he’ll love seeing you there.”

He hoped so. Cooper hadn’t left the best impression last time Skeeter had been there. He needed the kid to see him looking better than the last time he’d shown up uninvited—much like his mother had a few days ago when she’d woken him out of a dead sleep as he was coming off a drunk.

The one consolation was that he hadn’t gotten that liquored up since the day Hannah had busted into his life. He didn’t know if he was straightening out his life to please Hannah, or Skeeter, or himself. Things were a jumble in his mind.

Everything seemed confusing. His attraction to Hannah hadn’t faded with the years. He wanted her now as much as he ever had back then. He was pretty sure she felt the same. But instead of keeping her at arm’s length like he’d done in the past because he knew he wasn’t any good for her, he’d invited her over for breakfast.

Jesus, he must be losing whatever sanity he had left. He’d baked muffins and picked friggin’ flowers for the table. All for Hannah.

The logical thing to do—the best thing for her—would be to cut her loose completely. He needed to back away from this woman and never see her again. The problem was that was the last thing he wanted to do.

All this thinking was more than he could deal with this early when he’d been up at five getting ready for Hannah’s arrival. “So coffee’s made. I wasn’t sure how you took it, so I ran out to the store last night for milk. That’s in the fridge and sugar is on the counter. There’s tea bags too, if you prefer hot tea over coffee.”

“Thank you. Coffee’s fine.”

“A’ight. Help yourself.” He wrapped a dish towel around his hand and concentrated on pulling the muffins out of the oven without burning himself.

He didn’t own a potholder. No surprise there. He hadn’t used the oven until Hannah showed up with her lasagna. He’d never bought muffin mix either. A handful of visits from this woman and his entire life seemed different. That alone should have sent him running. It hadn’t. Go figure.

“Can I pour you a cup?”

“Sure. Black. Lots of sugar.”

“Okay.” She poured a second cup. She even got a spoon out of the drawer and put the sugar in it for him before she carried both mugs to the table.

For a man who’d spent quite a bit of time with many women doing all sorts of things, it was baffling how simply sitting down to a cup of coffee with this one could affect him so.

Maybe it shouldn’t surprise him. He hadn’t done this before—the whole breakfast and coffee thing. He’d sidled up to a bar with many a female. He’d tumbled into bed, or the truck, or onto the sofa with them too. Then he’d get them out as fast as possible. If they stuck around until sunrise, he’d make sure they didn’t settle in for the day by getting them out right quick in the morning.

This might possibly be the first breakfast he’d willingly sat down to with a woman. He liked it and he hadn’t even gotten the night of sex before it.

He tore off two paper towels for them to use as napkins since with all the stuff he had bought last night, he’d still forgotten to get those. He didn’t feel too bad. Hannah should be used to this by now. They had been wiping their mouths with paper towels for the last three days she’d been there.

That thought made him realize that this was day four of having her in his life. He also realized he was starting to get used to seeing her.

Yeah, it was decision time. Move forward or step back. This limbo in the middle with them both pretending there was nothing between them couldn’t last forever. Both of them could get attached, and when he stepped away, like he always did, she’d get hurt.

So would he. He’d miss this if—when—it stopped. That right there was reason enough to never see this woman again. To tell her here and now thanks for all she’d done for him, but she shouldn’t come by again. If he said it, there was a chance she might actually listen and do as he asked.

That’s what he should do. Instead, he said, “Need me to bring Skeeter something when I see him at the event?”

“I don’t think so, but I’ll ask when I talk to him today and get back to you, if that’s okay?”

“Sure. If he does, you can drop it by here or I could come pick it up at your place after you get off work.”

“Okay, thank you. I’ll let you know.”

“A’ight.” Now he was offering to go to her place. Yup. He’d clearly lost his mind. Cooper grabbed a hot muffin out of the tin and tossed it onto the paper towel in front of him. “Dig in before they get cold.”

Sometimes things were too far gone to save. His resolve to stay away from this woman was very possibly one of those things.

Hannah looked up from the chart on the desk and caught her coworker on this shift watching her.

“Did you need something?” she asked.

“Yeah. I suppose I do.” Jillian nodded. “I need to know his name.”

“What? Whose name?” Hannah laughed, even as the flush of guilt warmed her cheeks. Was she that transparent?

“Come on. Spill it. You haven’t looked so happy in…ever. You’ve started wearing makeup to work. You never used to do that. And did you get highlights in your hair?” Jillian frowned as she zeroed her attention in on the top of Hannah’s head.

Hannah reached up to touch the hair confined in the tight bun. “No. I mean, yeah, but I did them myself. One of those home box jobs. It’s no big deal.”

Jillian let out a snort. “The hair and makeup may not be a big deal, as you say, but the reason behind all the changes must be. So tell me, who is he and what’s going on with you two?”

“There’s nothing going on.”

Sadly, that was the complete truth. Nothing more than two people sharing some dinners…and one breakfast. No more than that, in spite of the makeup she found herself applying each morning and the new highlights she had gone crazy and put in her hair.

“I’m going to make a bet that under those scrubs you’re wearing your nicest bra and underwear. Am I right?”

Jillian obviously wasn’t letting this topic drop. Hannah felt her cheeks burn hotter. She did have on her best underthings. Apparently, she couldn’t hide a damn thing from anyone.

Hannah glanced up and saw her still waiting for an answer. She finally gave in. “All right. He’s a guy I knew years ago.”

“He’s an old flame?” Jillian’s eyes grew wide. “How exciting.”

She wished that was true. “No. Not an old flame. Just a guy who used to give my son lessons. I uh, ran into him recently.” Ran into him when she went knocking on his front door. “Anyway, nothing is going on.”

“Nothing is going on yet.” A smile spread across Jillian’s face. “You keep upping your game like this and that won’t last long.”

Hannah dismissed the idea with a wave of one hand. “I don’t know. I’m not sure he’s interested.”

“Why the hell wouldn’t he be interested in you? You’re smart, funny, attractive, hardworking, kind—”

“That’s the nicest thing anyone’s said to me in…forever. Maybe I should date you.” Hannah laughed.

“Sorry. A penis is a deal breaker for me for the people I date.” Smiling, Jillian shook her head. “But seriously, just give this guy time. Some men require lots of patience. Luckily, we got lots of it.”

“We who? Women?”

“Nurses.” Jillian grinned.

“That’s the truth.” Hannah snorted out a laugh. Patience was one of the requirements of being a nurse. She touched her hands to her cheeks, still embarrassed that people had noticed the changes when she’d thought she’d been so subtle. “You don’t think the makeup’s too much?”

“No. Not at all. You look great. You start looking any better and I may have to rethink my penis requirement.” Jillian grinned and winked.

Hannah laughed. “Thanks.”

One of the doctors pushed through the swinging doors of the unit. “We’re going to need everyone available down in the ER. EMS just called it in. School bus overturned. Multiple casualties on their way. They’ll be here any second.”

A school bus. That meant those injured, possibly dead, were children. Her heart sped at the thought. Accidents were always bad, but children made it seem all the worse.

The doctor turned and she ran to follow, Jillian at her side.

The sight as she entered the emergency room stole Hannah’s breath. “Oh, my God.”

Gurney after gurney rolled through the door, every one with a tiny figure on it, each child looking more terrified than the last. Harder to see than the ones who were screaming, were the ones who remained silent. She hoped they were motionless because they were unconscious and not the alternative.

She snapped herself out of the shock the horror caused. Now wasn’t the time to think like a mother. Now was the time to rely on her training and years of experience as a nurse.

Hannah moved to the nearest curtained enclosure and the wailing child inside. She pulled back the sheet to see the source of the blood soaking through. A broken bone protruded through the skin of the girl’s arm.

They were going to need to operate, but the question was how many more needed the same? They had to take the time to evaluate the extent of all the injuries, prioritize and take care of those in life-threatening situations first, while making the rest as comfortable as possible in the meantime.

“It’s okay, baby girl. It’s going to feel better soon.”

As the child screamed for her mother, it brought Hannah right back to the time Skeeter had been that little. He’d climbed a tree that was way too big for a boy his age, fallen and broken his arm. She remembered the nausea she felt at first hearing the sound of his screams. The pounding of her pulse as she ran to him and saw him lying on the ground, his face deathly pale, his limb twisted.

Hannah moved past the wrenching of her heart as all the visceral memories came back full force. There was no time to get emotional now. There was much to do. But she was sure that later, the images and the sounds of the children would haunt her and rob her of sleep in that house all alone.

Chapter Eleven

The phone rang a little while past the time Hannah should have gotten off her shift at the hospital. Maybe she’d run home after to change, or possibly to whip up something for dinner, and now wanted to know if she could drop by.

Liking that idea, Cooper smiled as he answered the phone. “Hello?”

“Hey.” Hannah’s soft greeting coming through the earpiece did things to him.

Maybe the hardening of his cock shouldn’t be a surprise. Her voice funneled directly into his ear and seemed to cut through him, straight to the core of his need. What was a surprise was the clenching of his heart when he heard her.

“Hey, yourself. Done with work? You on your way home?”

“I was, but…” She hesitated before continuing, “Would you mind if I stopped by your place?”

“Of course not. Not at all.” He’d like nothing better than to have her there with him.

“Are you sure? I don’t have any dinner with me.”

Cooper let out a surprised laugh. “Hannah. I don’t let you in the door because you bring me dinner.”

“But it’s dinnertime and I just invited myself over.”

“And I’m pretty sure there are a few pieces of that lasagna from the other night still laying around here somewhere for us to eat.” He knew there was some in the freezer and still more in the fridge. The way she liked to cook in volume, there was probably enough for two more dinners and a few lunches leftover.

“All right. I’ll be over in a few minutes.”

“A’ight. I’ll be here. See ya then.”

“Okay. Bye.”

He disconnected the call and sat for a moment, phone still in hand. She hadn’t sounded right. At least, not as she normally did. Something was going on.

Getting up and heading for the fridge, he figured guessing would do no good. He’d find out soon enough when she got there. Until then, the least he could do was start the meal heating and set the table.

He’d only just gotten the leftovers into the microwave when he heard her car in the driveway. She must have called from right down the road. He set the timer for it to cook for a few minutes and then headed for the front door. Out on the porch, he watched her get out of the car. Her expression told him as much as her tone on the phone had. She looked drained. Beaten down.

Something was up. He forced himself to wait for her to come to him. When she reached the stairs, she glanced up and forced a smile. “Hi.”

“Hi. Come on up. Dinner’s in the microwave.”

“Okay, thanks.” She looked less than enthusiastic about eating. From the look of her, like she was ready to drop, he could imagine food was the last thing on her mind.

She reached the top step and stepped onto the porch. The moment they were on the same level, Cooper reached out and laid his hands on her shoulders. “Tough day?”

“Yeah.” She stepped closer, her eyes on his. He saw the anguish in them.

“Jesus, Hannah. What happened?”

She drew in a breath. “Bad accident came into the ER.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

She shrugged beneath his hands. Not exactly an overwhelming response.

“Need a hug?” he asked.

“God, yes.”

Cooper pulled her closer. She dropped her head and rested her forehead against his chest.

They’d spent a lot of time together lately. She’d found him at a pretty low point in his life, and she’d stuck it out to see him working his way back to becoming a decent human being again. But they’d never had physical contact. Not since that night in her car ten years ago. And never like this—this purely platonic comforting kind of contact. But the least he could do was give her his shoulder to lean on. Or his chest, as the case may be.

He leaned his cheek against the top of her head and rubbed his hand up and down her back. It felt both natural and strange having her in his arms. He was used to holding women as a prelude to sex, not to comfort them with every intention of stepping away.

“Want a drink?”

Hannah laughed against him in response to his question. She pulled back and glanced up at him. “Yes, actually.”

“A’ight. That’s easy enough. Come on inside.” With a hand on her shoulder, he walked her inside, trying not to notice how perfectly she fit beneath his arm.

In the kitchen, the microwave binged. Dinner was ready. He tipped his head toward the table. “Have a seat. I’ll get that.”

“Okay.” She dropped into the chair without argument.

Any other day, she would have jumped to get the food, or set the table, or wash the glass still in the sink from his lunch. Not today. The wheels of Cooper’s brain spun with possible scenarios that could have put Hannah in this mood. He could only imagine what it was. Whatever this accident had entailed, it must have been bad to rattle her, the most grounded woman he’d ever met.

He moved to the cabinet and took down two glasses and the bottle of bourbon. Not knowing if she was a hard-liquor drinker or not, he took the pitcher of sweet tea out of the fridge and put it on the table with the bottle and glasses. Not too bad for a last-minute attempt at hospitality.

“Ice?”

She eyed the bottle and then cut her gaze up to him. “I don’t know. Do I need it?”

If she didn’t know if she took ice or not in her drink, she definitely wasn’t a bourbon drinker.

“Yeah. You do.” He took over making her drink, filling the glass with ice and tea and just a finger of the bourbon. Enough to take the edge off but not to get her drunk. After a swish with a spoon to mix the contents, he set the drink in front of her.

Cooper considered pouring a shot for himself too but didn’t. He had a feeling he’d need his wits about him to get her over whatever this was. Instead, he went to the microwave. One touch told him the food was hot enough to eat, so he pulled out the two plates, each with a piece of lasagna.

Turning toward the table, plates in hand, he saw Hannah taking a sip from the glass. He put the plates down. “Drink okay?”

She tipped her head. “Yeah. Not bad actually.”

He laughed as he turned for the drawer and grabbed two forks. “Glad to hear it. Now eat up.”

“I’m not very—”

“Make me happy. Just take one bite.”

She let out a short laugh. “Is this payback for the other day when I made you eat that stew?”

“Not at all. I don’t want you getting into a wreck because I gave you a drink on an empty stomach and then let you drive home.” That scenario cut a little too close to home. He shrugged it off. “Of course, I guess if you don’t wanna eat and you do drink too much, you could just stay here for the night.”

He was only half-joking.

She glanced at the bottle and then back to him. “I might have to consider that offer.”

Cooper raised a brow. He wanted nothing more than Hannah in his bed. He also feared nothing more. There would be no having sex and kicking her out, never to be seen again the moment they were done. Being with Hannah that way would change absolutely everything between them. They’d become what? A couple? Or would they become so awkward around each other they’d avoid contact, just when it was starting to feel as if they were friends? He didn’t have many friends. Definitely not enough to lose her as one.

Friends with a female—Cooper had never gone that particular route with a woman before. Now he knew why. He wanted to fuck his friend more than anything else in the world, and to hell with worrying about the fallout or the aftermath.

But with this woman, he had to worry. The stakes seemed higher. The risks greater.

“Eat, Hannah.” It would be safer for both of them.

She drew in a deep breath and then let it out, but he was happy to see her stab her fork into the food on the plate. Cooper followed her lead and jabbed his own fork into the cheesy slice, watching her take one bite and then lay her fork down. He knew the food was tasty, so that wasn’t the problem. Whatever had happened today was. What he didn’t know was how to fix it.

“So, Saturday is Skeeter’s event, right?” He knew the answer already, but he needed to get her mind off work.

Hannah glanced up. “Yeah.”

“You still trying to switch shifts so you can go?”

“I was going to ask the woman I work with today, but things got crazy and I never got around to it.”

He nodded. His attempt at small talk had only reminded her of her bad day, proving Cooper should stick to what he was good at rather than venture into unknown territory. Time to get back to what he knew.

“Drink up.”

She laughed. “You trying to get me drunk?”

He smiled. “Maybe.” Not really. But he had no idea what else to do to ease her troubles.

Hannah took another small bite of food and then eased her fork down to rest it on the edge of the plate. “A school bus overturned. It was filled with first graders.”

First grade. The kids on that bus would have been young. Real young. He figured a few years younger than Skeeter had been the first time Cooper had met him. The reason for her distress was beginning to become clear. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah. It was bad.” She drew in a wobbly breath. “They brought them in at the start of my shift. We worked on them all day. We lost the driver and one of the children. I was holding the child’s hand when…” She swallowed hard. “Cooper, it was horrible. His parents—God, they just crumbled at the news.” She shook her head, the shine of unshed tears making her eyes glisten like diamonds.

“Hannah, I’m so sorry.” He stood and moved around the table. Biting her lip, she avoided eye contact so he squatted in front of her chair. “Hey. Look at me.”

When she glanced up, one tear streamed down her cheek. He took her hands in his. “I’m sure y’all did everything you could.”

“It wasn’t enough.” Her voice shook and he knew she was about ready to break.

Not knowing what to say he stood, drawing her up and out of her chair. Words weren’t his thing anyway. He wrapped his arms around Hannah, pulled her close and held her tightly against him.

He’d expected her to sob, but she didn’t. She just clung to him, still and quiet, and he’d never felt so helpless. “Tell me what you need me to do, darlin’.”

“Nothing. Just be here with me.”

“A’ight. I can do that.” Leaning low, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

When she pulled back and tilted her head up enough that she could look at him, he saw the need in her eyes. A need that mirrored his own long-banked burning desire for this woman.

A craving that strong did something to a man’s mind. It overrode common sense. Made it seem as if things he knew were wrong might just be all right this one time.

He dipped his head lower, hesitating just shy of her lips. A kiss would comfort her. Hell, they’d already kissed and he’d been able to stop himself then. He’d stop himself again now.

“Hannah, tell me the last thing in the world you want me to do is kiss you and I’ll back off.”

She shook her head, the tiniest of motions as her eyes remained focused on his. “I can’t tell you that. It’s not true.”

Cooper drew in a breath as he closed the final distance. Eyes on her until he pressed his lips to hers, he kissed her like he’d imagined doing so many times over the past few days.

It wasn’t the right time. Of course not. She was upset. She’d watched a child’s life slip through her fingertips today. It wasn’t good for him either. As much as he wanted her, as much as his resolve waffled, he still knew she needed a better man than him for the long term. He wasn’t about to take advantage of her in the here and now, knowing there was no future for them.

Still, he didn’t want to stop. His eyes drifted shut as he sank into Hannah’s kiss. He tasted the sweet tea and bourbon on her tongue. Felt the soft curves of her pressed against him. Loved the feel of her, warm beneath his hands.

The way Hannah responded, it seemed she didn’t want him to stop either. She held tighter and worked his lips, even as his thoughts spiraled. He needed to end this ill-advised kiss, sit down and finish this meal, and then send her home…to do what? Stew in her misery? He didn’t like that plan.

He’d keep her there then, but it would be platonic. One friend being there for another. It might kill him, but he’d do it.

Cooper pulled back from the enticement of her lips. Then took the next difficult step of unwrapping his arms from around her and stepping back.

Taking a bracing breath, he pulled his chair farther from the table and sat. “Sit, Hannah. Eat up. It’ll make you feel better. I’m betting you didn’t get to eat today.”

“No, I didn’t.” She didn’t sit in her chair as he expected. Instead, she moved toward his. Facing him, Hannah straddled his legs and sat, right there in his lap.

His cock got impossibly harder in reaction to her weight on him. “What are you doing, darlin’?”

Hannah wrapped her arms around his neck and moved in, her face so close he felt the warmth of her breath. “I think you can figure that out.”

“Yeah, I think I can.” He wanted those lips against his again.

More than that, he wanted to slide into her and take what they’d both wanted for years. For a fucking decade. Here, like this, he couldn’t remember even one of the reasons he’d had for denying them both.

Cooper slid his hands beneath her ass and stood, lifted her with him. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he strode to the bedroom. At least the sheets were clean. He even had condoms in the drawer for those couple of times during the past year or two he’d left the solitude of the cocoon he’d created for himself and gone out seeking the company of a woman.

Thinking of those other faceless, nameless females who’d passed through his life put the brakes on Cooper’s single-minded trajectory toward having her. He laid her on the bed but remained kneeling above her. “You sure you want this?”

“Yes.”

“Hannah, you’re reacting to a bad day. You’re not thinking clearly.”

“If that’s true, then what was my excuse ten years ago in the front seat of my car?”

He laughed, hoping to joke his way out of a situation he wasn’t sure he had the strength to walk away from. “That’s easy. I was obviously irresistible back then.”

She didn’t laugh at his attempt at humor. Instead, she cupped a palm on each side of his face and pulled him closer. If she kissed him again, he’d be lost. He’d take her like he’d wanted to for far too long.