Chael's Luck (A Knights of Dorathan Novel) (11 page)

“Not much. General Krane said he was positive
it was someone who knew what they were doing. Both were stabbed
under the ribs. Other than that, there wasn’t much to tell.” I blew
out of my nose.

Ian reached over and squeezed my arm. “We’ll
figure it out.”

I tried to smile, but couldn’t find it in me.
It turned out he’d been wrong with reassurances that my aunt and
uncle’s murder had nothing to do with me.

*****

Our trip through the woods to the edge of the
sand plains was pleasant enough. Of course, that was when Ian and I
could bear to talk to each other without arguing. We were in the
middle of another disagreement, this one about how we should go
about crossing the plains without getting lost.

Klora stopped short as the greenery abruptly
turned to sand. I gave him a kick and hung on as he reared in
protest. Ian looked back at us from Klard’s back while True, who
had been nominated to be pack horse, snorted and swatted a fly away
with her tail.

“What now?”

I glared at Ian and gave Klora another kick.
He refused to cross from grass to sand. I dismounted and stalked
toward the sand line. My horse reared and pulled me clean off my
feet.

“Here, hand me the reins.” He pulled Klard to
a stop and reached for them.

“Back off, Ian!”

Klora backed up, tripped, and fell onto his
side. I let go of the reins to let him get up. Once back on his
feet, he stood and looked from me to Ian. An hour later, we still
hadn’t managed to get him to put one foot down onto the sand
plains.

Ian looked into the sky and swore. “We may as
well set up camp and try again in the morning.” He stalked off
toward the trees we’d been hoping to leave behind earlier that day,
Klard and True in tow.

I patted my horse between the eyes. “What’s
gotten into you? We need to get across these. It will only be for
six days, Klora. Six days. I need you to do this.”

He blew out of his nose and shook out his
mane.

“Have a good chat with him, Chaela, because
tomorrow we cross with or without him.”

I glared at him. “If you think I’m going
anywhere without this horse, you’re mistaken. I’ll detour and take
the mountain path if necessary.” I patted Klora’s neck. “Now
there’s an idea, don’t you think?”

“We are not detouring.”

“Oh, you’re right, Ian. We are not detouring.
I am detouring. I am taking Klora and Klard and we are leaving.”
Whisk raised his head. “And Whisk. We are all leaving.” I tethered
my horse and unsaddled him. “I am tired of you treating me like a
useless, annoying, woman!” I threw my pack on the ground and
unrolled my blankets. “I have been tracking, living in the woods,
and fighting since the first day my father could get me on a horse.
What in the world do I have to do to prove to you…” I stopped
short. “No. Forget that. I don’t need to prove myself to you. I
have spent my entire life proving myself. I have proven myself.” I
pulled the coffee can out and took a few deep breaths to calm
myself. How in the world did that blasted man manage to get under
my skin each and every time he opened his mouth? I glanced at him
and tried not to notice how the flames turned his grey eyes amber
or how his arms bulged as he brought the axe down to cut some fire
wood. I knew part of the reason I couldn’t stand the man had
something to do with the fact I was starting to see him as exactly
that; a man. Another reason was that he refused to call me Chael
now that we were travelling, and insisted on talking to me as if I
was a woman. But you are a woman, my inner voice argued with
me.

“Chaela!” His voice broke through my internal
ranting.

I looked up, my intent to tell him to call me
Chael, but my voice caught in my throat. He was running toward me,
his dagger ready. My second warning not all was right was Whisk’s
growl just as my head exploded with pain and all went dark.

When I finally came to, my head was pounding.
I lay still, trying to remember what had happened. A groan to my
right made me open my eyes and my heart dropped.

“Ian!” He lay on his side, his hands tied.
He’d been beaten. He opened his eyes and tried to smile.

“I’m fine. How are you?”

“My head hurts, but other than that, I’m
alright. What happened?”

“We were fighting… again. They managed to
sneak up on us. One got you on the head.”

“How many?”

“There were five.”

“Were?”

“There’s three now.”

The men around the fire laughed.

“Go get the Knight. He’s got to have some
expensive things on him. We can sell it when we reach another
town.”

Ian’s eyes widened as a man walked over and
grabbed me by one of my tied arms before dragging me back to the
fire. The man pushed me down to the ground in front of his friends
and proceeded to check the pockets of my vest.

“These vests are worth a fortune.” He frowned
as his hand brushed against my chest and he pulled my tunic up to
investigate. “By gods, this one’s a woman!”

His friend grunted. “Women aren’t allowed to
be Knights.”

“Well, obviously she’s pretending to be one.”
The man kneeling over me grinned. “Either way, this is turning into
a very profitable excursion.” He squeezed my face in his hand and
turned it from side to side. “She’s decent looking enough.” He
mumbled a few things to himself as he cut my band of cloth off and
took an appraising look.

“What do you think? Will she bring top
dollar?”

I looked on as Ian tried to get to his feet,
anger and fear fighting for a place on his face.

“She won’t if she’s pure. I had one man say
he wouldn’t pay a cent for a newbie. Complained as how he had to
wash the blood up afterwards.” He grinned and pulled his belt off
which he threw back behind him. “I suppose that’s an easy enough
fix, don’t you think, girly?”

Fear settled in my stomach. I raised my tied
hands awkwardly and tried to hit him. He laughed as the blow
glanced off of him.

“Come on, now. Be a good girl. This can be
fun for the both of us if you let it.” He started to unbuckle my
belt.

“If you so much as touch her, I will kill
you,” growled Ian. He threw himself at the man, driving his
shoulder into the other’s face. I rolled and grabbed the filthy
man’s belt, fumbling to get his dagger loose with my tied
hands.

Ian groaned and I quickly cut through my
ropes, only to be tackled to the ground as I turned. My lip split
with the impact of the man’s fist. I swung and shoved the dagger up
with all of my strength into his abdomen. The blood poured over my
hands. I pushed him off of me and stood, taking in the situation as
I did. Ian stood, his hands still tied in front of him, facing the
two remaining men. The dark haired one stabbed at him with his
dagger. Ian kicked out and managed to block the blow with the side
of his boot. He stepped forward and brought his other leg up, his
foot connecting with the other’s chin.

I grabbed my bow and notched an arrow,
letting it fly at the last man. He cried out and turned toward me,
his hand clutching his arm. My next arrow took him in the
heart.

“Chaela! He’s got Klora!” Ian swore and
looked around for a dagger to free his hands. I grabbed his arm to
settle him.

“It’s fine, Ian.”

“But…” He gestured, wide eyed in the
direction my horse was being taken.

I smiled and cringed as the split in my lip
opened. “Just give it a second.” I heard Klora’s telltale grunt as
he dropped his head between his knees and fired his hind legs into
the air. His rider’s surprised cry was emphasized by the hollow
thump of a man’s body hitting the ground. I stopped Ian from going
over. Whisk’s snarl echoed back to us. I gave a whistle and both
horse and hound came trotting back to us while footsteps could be
heard running away.

“You’re just going to let him go?” Ian’s eyes
were saucers in his head, or one was. The right one was well on its
way to being swollen shut.

I shrugged. “We have bigger issues to deal
with in the near future. Do you really want to be hauling a
prisoner around?”

“I wasn’t planning on keeping prisoners. The
bastard was going to die.” The anger in his voice was evident. My
heart skipped as he dropped his tied hands over my head and pulled
me to his chest. “Are you alright?”

I took a deep breath. If I was being honest
with myself, the thought of being raped had never crossed my mind.
Now that it was obviously a possibility, I felt as though someone
had punched me in the stomach. I hesitated a fraction of a second
before wrapping my arms around him.

“I’m fine.” I choked out the words and hoped
he believed me. I would not cry. I refused to. I leaned against
him, my legs suddenly weak.

“Shush, now.” He laid his cheek on the top of
my head.

“I… I never thought…” I sucked in a breath,
suddenly mad at myself for showing weakness. That anger sparked and
spread to him. I ducked out from under his arms and kicked one of
our packs.

“Chaela, it’s alright. It’s over.”

I shook my head and wiped my tears with my
arm. “It’s not alright!” I screamed at the top of my lungs until
all of my strength left me and I fell to the ground. I heard Ian
cut his hands free and kneel in front of me.

“That never would have happened…” A sob shook
me. “If I’d been…” I tried to sort through everything that was
running through my head. I gazed up into his worried grey eyes and
my anger dissipated. “I am not a man.” I remembered the feeling I’d
had at the age of six when I’d gotten lost at the market. It was
exactly what I was feeling now. Completely lost.

Ian’s eyes saddened and he shook his head. He
took my face lightly in his hands. “No, you’re not.”

“I don’t know who I am anymore,” I
whispered.

“You’re Chaela McKinney. Beautiful, brave,
honorable Chaela.” He moved closer to me and pressed his lips to my
forehead. “You are an amazing woman.”

I frowned. “You can’t stand me.”

He smiled. “You annoy the hell out of me.” He
wiped a fresh tear from my cheek with his thumb. “That doesn’t mean
I can’t admire your other qualities.”

I tried to settle on one emotion as many
raced through me; confusion about who I was, a certain degree of
fear at how my heart had sped at the feel of Ian’s lips on my skin,
and somewhere deep inside of me, anger at my father. The last must
have shown in my eyes and Ian’s saddened as he let go of my
face.

At a loss as to how to explain myself, I
watched him toss a few more logs into the fire. I decided that the
best way to get through my identity crisis was simply to keep
going. I moved the horses to where they could eat and spread the
blankets by the fire. Ian frowned as he watched me lay our blankets
side by side as opposed to across the fire as had been
customary.

“I suppose I should have asked first, but…” I
took a deep breath, unsure of how to word what I was feeling.

“Explain to me first why you’re mad at me.”
He walked around the fire and came to stand before me.

“It wasn’t you I was mad at. I’m angry at
myself. I’m angry at my father.” I swallowed hard. “He loved me,
Ian, I know he did. He told me before he died he regretted raising
me as he had, that what he’d done was wrong. I told him he was
wrong, that I loved my life.” I could feel the tears start up again
and I wiped them away angrily. “I have always known who I was.
Never once in the past eighteen years have I ever questioned it and
then suddenly, due to his words alone, I am unsure as to who I am.
By gods, Ian, I’m sorry if you get the brunt of it… I just…” Words
failed me and I simply stared at him, hoping he could understand.
The stiffness in his body relaxed.

“What is the reason behind putting our
blankets together?”

“I…I need to find out who I am. There are
emotions and reactions I was forced to bury long ago. Tonight,
there’s one thing I’d like. One thing I’ve never been able to
have.” I blushed and Ian shook his head.

“No. I won’t. Chaela, you came close to being
raped and now you’re trying to find yourself as a woman. I won’t
lie with you. By gods, that will add a mountain more emotions to
the pile and you haven’t figure out these ones yet.”

My mouth fell open in surprise. “What?” I
started to laugh and a different kind of tears rolled down my
cheeks. Ian glared at me as I tried to catch my breath. I
grinned.

“Ian, I’ve always known I was a woman. I’m
just… I’m stuck, yeah? Do I go on being Chael and living the life I
love, or do I become Chaela and start actually living as a woman.
I’ve never been with a man, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t thought
about it.” I shook my head. “Another thing I need to think about is
if I do come out and declare my true identity, who in the world is
going to want to be with me.”

The relief on his face was comical. “What do
you want from me, then?”

“It’s just, well…”

“Chaela, look at me.”

I looked up and he took a step toward me.

“It sounds childish. You’ll laugh.”

He shook his head. “I promise I won’t.”

“I was wondering if you would maybe just hold
me.”

His lips twitched.

“I told you you’d laugh!”

He held up his hands. “I’m not laughing!”

“You’re about to!” I could feel my anger
start to burn.

Instead of arguing further, he took two steps
towards me and scooped me in his arms. “I wasn’t about to laugh you
bull headed little girl! I was trying not to smile!” He held me
with one arm and balanced me on his knee while he pulled the covers
back. I simply stared up at him, to shocked to do anything. He set
me down gently, watching me as he did. I blushed and he smiled.

“Good?”

I nodded and turned on my side so that my
back was to his chest.

“So now you’ve got me curious,” he whispered
by my ear. I tried to hide the shiver that ran through me.